Wednesday April 23 , 2014

HEALTH & WELL BEING - TAKING / GIVING ADVISE

 




GIVING / TAKING ADVISE


 


I don’t think anybody needs a speech on what is right and what is wrong.   We are all mature grown ups and by now we should have learned what is right and wrong ... right ? 

Most people don’t want to be told how to live their lives either and yet there are those who seem to think they have the right to tell you what you are doing wrong - all the time - and this can really get up your nose - I mean - what gives them the right ?

Through the years, I’ve followed my own intuition and almost every single time someone has seEn fit to give me advise and I have felt obliged to take it,  and where it has gone against my own intuitive feelings, it has ALWAYS gone ' jam side down' - and been a disaster.
If I had not taken their advise they would have complained or said - ' The don't ask me' - which is disrespecting my own ability to weigh up what they have said, thanked them, appreciated the time and effort - wisdoms and thought behind their input, but then come to a decision of my own - and this is how it should always be.  

If I could go back with the knowledge I have now and with what I have experienced, things would be so very different. Even basic “listen to your parents” kind of advice — and I know that, yes, I should have listened to my parents more. Besides the typical teen screw-ups, which I think most of us are guilty of, it can get so much worse if you don’t listen or take advice from elders.  Trouble is, we all need to learn it for ourselves.

Over the years and through my struggles, I have learned that taking advice, suggestions, and guidance from others is very important. When you’re talking with people who have “been there, done that,” listen and really let it soak in. Obviously you have to be aware of the person giving the advice, but if it’s a trusted family member or friend, just listening could be one of the wisest things you’ll ever do.

Not that I have always been the best listener when I was younger - as I thought I knew it all and now with my maturing years, I can appreciate the wisdome many of my elders - back then= shared with me that I simply did not get at the time.

I remember watching the movie ' Death In Venice' when I was 17 with my 42 year old lover and while he cried his eyes out, I was bored shitless.  Decades later, in my mid 30's I watched it on telly late one night and this time it was me crying my eyes out. I now realised what he had seen with his mature mind that I had missed with my immature mind, and this was a wake up call for me - it really was.

These are the simple guidelines I try to live by. Whether you believe in karma or not, I believe that when you are kind, it will always come back to you in some way or somehow. Although, when I say be kind, I’m not just referring to kindness to other human beings. Pet a dog, plant a garden, pick up the rubbish that’s blowing down the street; anything really! The smallest kind gesture not only is a great thing to do but makes you feel so great too.

I must admit though, being patient is sometimes easier said than done, as I am sure many of you are already aware. If you can really find a way not to get frustrated when things aren’t going the way you want you’ll be that much better off in the long run….

Take a few deep breaths and step away for a few moments to centre your thoughts.

Be respectful when giving or taking advise and always remember,  only you can choose to do what you want in life and never feel forced or kajoled into doing something you feel - inside - is wrong.  Chances are,  it is.


JB



 

 

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