Saturday August 02 , 2014

MASTURBATION MONTH - WAYSEERS MANIFESTO

 

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MASTURBATION MONTH OF MAY


Of all the kinds of sex people can have, masturbation is the most universal and important, yet few people talk about it freely — worse, many people still feel it is ‘second best‘ or problematic in some way. Masturbation Month lets us emphasize how great it is: it‘s natural, common and fun and needs attiutudes towards iut changing. 

 There’s still a lot of confusion around the subject for many people and it seems that many gay men tend not to suffer that confusion and have a much clearer and healthier atitude towards sexuality which - while many straights would call us permiscuous or sluts,  this attitude also tends to come from resentment and jealousy that gay men can - while it is a LOT harder for straight men.  

For some people masturbation is still shrouded in guilt, shame, embarrassment and emotional pain. In a time when sexual dysfunction and estrangement from genuine intimacy are bigger problems than ever, it’s hard to ignore the concerns of the social context in which our sexuality exists. After all, if masturbation makes a person feel worse about him or herself :-  as it can, for instance, for people dealing with the effects of a lifetime of  religious clap trap around sex -  then it necessitates a new perspective.

Masturbation Month was started in response to the fact that (at least in the United States) masturbation is still so taboo, so frowned upon that, in 1994, the US Surgeon General was fired after simply agreeing that perhaps it’s a subject that ought to be incorporated into sex ed. As explained by one of its creators Carol Queen,

“Ordinary people who do it think there‘s something wrong with them, and it‘s painted as a pathetic third choice if you can‘t get someone to have sex with you. In fact, if you can shake off this load of crap;- this misguided and fucked up attitude towards solo sex,  then you will discover that masturbation is amazing. It can provide extraordinary pleasure, or just help you get to sleep, teach you about your body and sexual responses, and help keep the blood flowing in the nethers…“

Indeed, advocates claim that it offers a myriad of health benefits, including the reduction of stress and anxiety, improved sleep, and the relief of menstrual cramps, headaches and muscle tension. Not only that, but masturbation may also improve the immune system and contribute to overall physical health, as well as strengthening muscle tone in the pelvic and anal areas, building resistance to yeast infections, preventing the development of prostate cancer, and even helping to ease the symptoms of Restless Leg Syndrome.  For older men it is important to jack off at least twice weekly to keep your prostate clear and functional.

Perhaps at least some of these beneficial effects are linked to the release of endorphins, neurotransmitters that can improve mood and relieve depression, as well as the production of oxytocin, a natural pain reliever.

Healthy (shame-free) masturbation can also help to enhance our relationships by creating a sense of well-being, helping us bond with our partners both physically and emotionally, increasing the ability to have orgasms, and thereby raising self-esteem and improving body image.

In many straight relationships, sexuality is often the number one complaint between a couple - where the man wants more sex than is offered and the wife shows disinterest.  Many married men turn to outside enjoyment with others because of a lack of sex at home and then this can cause huge turmoil if discovered and where the man can loose his house, car, chldren and just about everything ( except maybe his Sopider Man oiutfit )  and all because he went outside of the marriage bedroom for sex - and all because all too often the wife says NO.  So who is to blame here - Neither party - actually - but realizing that men need sex ( or so it seems ) more than women - needs addressing in any relationship before it turns sour.  

When women say that only teenagers masturbate and that grown men are immature if they do so, and show contempt for men who do;-  this is showing us how ignorant and belittling some womens sexual intelligence, or lack of,  is used to trump men and make them feel small,  inferior,  immature and adolescent - when the exact reverse is in fact more accurate.  Just because someone does not like Marmite does not mean that those who do - are wrong.  If someone wants to masturbate ten times a day and this offers him/her great joy and harmony and no dysfunctions, then who is anyone else to tell them they are wrong... and the only person who does claim it to be wrong - ARE THE SEXUALLY FUCKED UP WHO ARE FULL OF RESENTMENT AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AND GUILT,  and throwing their own 'stuff' onto others is just another form of abuse.

Many women have not even seen their vagina in a mirror.  Many consider it  to be ugly - a gash - an open wound - and while Freud would say they have ' penis envy'- many women do not like their sexual organs - period.

A lot of this comes back to our childhood and what we are told by aduklts and older children at school and w eget very few positive inputs concerning masturbation and all we ever seem to hear is negative attitudes.  This is hardly good at building a healthy self-esteem withou ourselves surrounding something as natural and as enjoyable as a simple wank.  If you do not play with and understand your own body, then how can you ever start to have a healthy sex life with another.  If you do not know how to make it work and what joy you can achieve,  why assume another can give it to you when they are probably just as ignorant as you are.

The common adage that masturbation makes you go blind - or makes for depression,  is just put out there by those who will deny and find fault with those who are enjoying a healthy sex life regardless of whether solo or with a partner.  Too many fucked up people like to throw their fucked up attitudes at those who do not live by the same fucked up doctrines - and then claim themselves to be right while the sexually active person to be obsessed, addicted, brain washed and immature - when the exact oposite it more accurate.  Those who deny are the ones who are loosing out and those who do not are the ones who need to re evaluate their attitudes - not the other way round.

Personally, I truly believe sex energy is not only the life force, but also the source of all creativity. It is a connection to the Devine within and the most powerful tool we have to connect us with the universal eneries and to our Light Body / Spirit - and through our sexual energies great healing of mind, body and spirit can accur and with such a power - it can be life changing. Orgams can  quieten the mind and with the deep breathing I teach here - brings oxygen into the bloodstream and into the conscious mind, expanding the sub conscious mind and opening the doorway between the two allowing for a connection to a higher energy.   The heart is exercised as it pumps blood through the veins, hormones and endorphins are released, the skin sweats, muscular tension is heightened and then drained, followed by deep relaxation and a sense of well-being with feelings of contentment through an intimate connection with ourselves or another person. As we awaken our bodies through the senses, we awaken our minds to the knowledge that all living things are connected – on Earth and throughout the vast universe.

So enjoy your solo masturbation or even your group masterbation - and as long as you are enjoying yourself and it is for the right and positive reasons... enjoy.
 

 



'YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF' - IS SUCH BULLSHIT


Does anyone else cringe upon hearing statements like,

“You need to love yourself before you can  land a job, a relationship, lasting inner peace - etc.” ?

 



I do, and I call it bullshit.  It might be correct in the bigger scheme of things, but here in the real world, it can be very hard and somewhat unrealistic at times.

Sure, liking yourself is important. Believing in yourself, trusting yourself to generally do right by your own best interests. Acting with integrity. Setting boundaries. Respecting yourself enough to know how you deserve to be treated and how others deserve to be treated by you in return and striving to settle for nothing but this,  is often hard. 

But the conditional “if/then” formulas in the self-help-sphere drive me absolutely bonkers. The Personal Development Police would like to have you believe that you have to high-jump over the impossible-to-reach SELF-LOVE bar in order to truly manifest what you want, when the truth is it is so much easier than you can ever imagibe - it is just that we constantly get in our own way.

I find those that give bland advice ' Oh you need to learn some self love' annoying,  unrealistic and frustrating —  it is good advice but also bad advice, no matter how well-intentioned. At least for me. You might disagree with me, and that’s fine. If you are born with unfailing radiant self-love at max capacity 24/7, I am thrilled for you! Bottle it up and sell it, baby!

But for the rest of us mere mortals, self-love is a spectrum, and there‘s a good chance it varies every day. Particularly when you are riding the roller coaster of holding down a job,   or a new relationship or quitting your job or any other massive life change that will cause stress and anxiety. 

Who really loves themselves all day every day, romancing their reflection with flowers and unicorns and affirmations in the mirror every morning?

Listen — I certainly don’t think you want to actively shoot yourself down (put-downs, berating, etc) but can we agree to a more neutral zone?

I do not believe self-love is black or white — you love yourself or you don’t.

Just do the best with what you’ve got, and admit when terrifying, thrilling, vulnerability-inducing situations bring out your shy, insecure, or worry sides. Hallelujah, you‘re alive! And you’re most likely hot on the trail of something exciting.

Try This: I Love Myself Enough

Here‘s my take: do things. Do things that scare you, and watch your confidence build.

Instead of reaching for an unshakeable self-love bar you can never hit, sit with the idea that “I love myself enough. It might not be 100%, but I love myself enough to give this a shot. To be vulnerable, and to take one small brave step each day.”

The best way you can truly love yourself (blegh, the term still gives me hives!) is to give yourself permission to do or say whatever is authentically on your mind, and to start right from where you already are.

Action is what moves you forward. Action is what builds your confidence. Action is the best teacher.

As my favorite Joan Baez quote goes, “Action is the antidote to despair.“

 

 


 

 



WAYSEERS MANIFESTO




ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits & troublemakers, all you free-spirits & pioneers...
Everything the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you...


A friend showed me this last night and I was awe struck by the power and the meaning in the words. 

Watch the video here - but most important -

LISTEN TO THE WORDS

It speaks to the heart of all those Light Workers
and those working for a higher cause -

Those who know there IS a Higher Cause
and those seekers of the TRUTH.





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WATCH IT HERE


BUT MOST IMPORTANT - LISTEN TO THE WORDS.


I found this the most powerful piece I think I have ever heard and it moved me deeply.
I urge you to listen with your eyes shut - ignore the video for the first hearing, and just throw yourself into the message

Thanks to Chris who introduced me to this


 

 

Here are the words below :-
 By Garret John LoPorto on September 22, 2010

 


|

ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits and troublemakers -

all you free spirits and pioneers - all you visionaries and non-conformists




Everything that the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you.

You see things others don't. You are hardwired to change the world. Unlike 9 out of 10 people - your mind is irrepressible - and this threatens authority. You were born to be a revolutionary.

You can't stand rules because in your heart you know there's a better way.

You have strengths dangerous to the establishment - and it wants them eliminated, So your whole life you've been told your strengths were weaknesses - Now I'm telling you otherwise.

Your impulsivity is a gift - impulses are your key to the miraculous,

Your distractibility - is an artifact of your inspired creativity,

Your mood swings - reflect the natural pulse of life, they give you unstoppable energy when you're high and deep soulful insight when you're low,

Been diagnosed with a "disorder"? That's society's latest way to deny it's own illness by pointing the finger at you.

 


Your addictive personality is just a symptom of your vast underused capacity for heroic, creative expression and spiritual connection. your utter lack of repression, your wide eyed idealism, your unmitigated open mind - didn't anyone ever tell you?!

These are the traits shared by the greatest pioneers and visionaries and innovators, revolutionaries, procrastinators and drama queens, activists on the social scene, space cadets and mavericks, philosophers and derelicts, business suits flying fighter jets, football stars and sex addicts, celebrities with ADD, alcoholics who seek novelty, first responders - prophets and saints, mystics and change agents.

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -
You know in your heart that there's a natural order to life,
something more sovereign than any man-made rules or laws could ever express

This natural order is called "the Way."

 


The Way is the eternal substrate of the cosmos. It guides the very current of time and space. The Way is known by some as the Will of God, Divine Providence, the Holy Spirit, the implicate order, the Tao, reverse-entropy, life-force, but for now we'll simply call it "the Way."

The Way is reflected in you as the source of your inspiration, the source of your passions, your wisdom, your enthusiasm, your intuition, your spiritual fire - love.

The Way takes the chaos out of the Universe and breathes life into it by reflecting divine order. The Way, when experienced by the mind, is genius, when perceived through the eyes is beauty, when felt with the senses is grace, when allowed into the heart ... is love.

Most people cannot sense the Way directly. ... But then there are the Wayseers. The keepers of the flame. Wayseers have an unexplainable knack for just knowing the Way.
They sense it in their very being. They can't tell you why or how they arrived at the right answer. They just know it in their core. They can't show their work. So don't ask. Their minds simply resonate with the Way. When the Way is present, so are they.

While others are blind to it, and society begs you to ignore it, "the Way" stirs you inside. Neurological repression blocks most people's awareness of the Way - censoring all thoughts and impulses from the unconscious is their prefrontal cortex - the gestapo of the brain -  nothing which violates its socialized programming even gets through; but your mind is different. your mind has been cracked wide open to the Way - by some miraculous genetic trait, some psychotropic chemical or maybe even by the will of your very soul, your brain's reward pathways have been hijacked - dopamine employed to overthrow the fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex - now your brain is free of repression, your mind free of censorship, your awareness exposed to the turbulent seas of the unconscious - through this open doorway divine light shines into your consciousness showing you the Way. This is what makes you a Wayseer.

90% of human civilization is populated with those who's brains are blocked to the Way.  Their brains are hardwired to enforce the social programming indoctrinated since birth.
Unlike you they cannot break out of this programming, because they have not yet experienced the necessary revolution of mind. These programmed people take social institutions and rules very seriously. Society is full of games programmed to keep peoples' minds occupied so they will not revolt.

These games often cause sick fixations on peculiar protocols, power structures, taboos and domination - all subtle forms of human bondage - This distinct form of madness is not only tolerated by the masses but insisted upon. The programmed ones believe in rules so forcefully they become willing to destroy anyone who violates them.

Wayseers are the ones who call their bluff.  Since Wayseer minds are free to reject social programming, Wayseers readily see social institutions for what they are - imaginary games.  
Wayseers comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.
Helping those who are lost in these games and refuse to help themselves is a calling of many Wayseers.

Since Wayseers are the ones who keep contact with the original source of reality - they are able to disrupt societal conventions and even governments to realign humanity with the Way.

The Wayseers are an ancient lineage. A kind of priesthood - carriers of the flame - ones "in the know."  There must always be Wayseers to reform the dizzying psychotic spinning gears of society - giant mindless hamster wheels obscuring the pure blue sky, keeping humanity shackled in a darkened cage - so Wayseers are called - to shed light on the madness of society - to continually resurrect the timeless transcendent Spirit of Truth -

Wayseers reveal this divine truth by devoting themselves to the birth of some creative or disruptive act expressed through art or philosophy, innovations to shake up industry, revolutions for democracy, coups that topple hypocrisy, movements of solidarity, changes that leave a legacy, rebellions against policy, spirit infused technology, moments of clarity, things that challenge barbarity, watersheds of sincerity, momentous drives for charity


We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -

This is your calling, Wayseer

You've found your tribe.

Welcome home.



 

 





 

 


andy pryor

Died Sunday August 19th 2012 - aged, I think 43.

and you know what,  I don't think I have a picture of him - after a computer crash a few years ago where thousands of photos were lost, and now all I have is my memory - that picture in my head.


I first met Andy when he joined a group I was runnning called 'The Gay Spiritual Group' in London, and this would be around 1996-97. He was instantly a keen member  and quickly  joined the committee to help with the running of the group.  Once a month we hosted a Social  and would get anything up to 65 members in my London home and a really good spiritual evening would be had,  relaxed and informal,  with people just talking and laughing,   and at around 9pm I would introduce a speaker for 30 minutes or so, and one of these evenings,  Andy wanted to give a talk about an  experience he had recently had.
He was really nervous and with a little encouragement from me - he stood and introduced himself and gave a wonderful, lighthearted account of a recent trip to Egypt that had changed his life,  and it was a really lovely thing to be a part of and to hear this London cockney lad - offering such a  gentle story. 

For Andy was a little Tough Ted... an east end lad you might not - at one time - have trusted  with your wallet or car keys - as he had been a cheeky little rascall when he was a teenager and in private he would tell me some of the things he had got up to in the past which while illegal,   did make you smile broadly and laugh out loud... and while you felt for the victim who had had their car stolen - or whatever - it was never meant to be malicious or evil,  it was just lads messing about,  and we would laugh.  But all that was years behind him and he donated a great deal of his time to helping others, through voluntary charity work and in his private life as well,  and he was a very thoughtful and kind, considerate and loving man.

When I moved to Hamilton Hall he would come down and help us paint and decorate - or more often - he would actually bring a friend with him who he paid to do the work for him as his disabilities through various illnesses brought about through his HIV made it difficult for him to do some things physically,  and he was thrilled every time to be able to offer something and happy to be a part of Hamilton Hall, and I was very pleased to have him part of my life.

I remember one long hot summer, maybe around 2004 - he was down for a couple of weeks with his dog - a Doberman named Scooby ( naturally )  and we would sit in the garden until late at night with candles lit all over the place and just chill out and laugh and share stories from our past - as we actually had a lot in common - and these are happy memories.  His cheecky chappy grin and laugh won him many friends here and one elderly friend fell madly in love with him;- in a really nice and sweet way - and every time I mentioned Andy to him he would smile broadly and laugh...

I knew his health was up and down over the years and I would always be inviting him down for a free stay and more often than not, he would either come down or be too busy at home,  and all of a sudden he has having problems with his bowels and had already had an operation giving him a temporary colostomy and when he visited he was so up, so cheerful and so positive, he was such an inspiration even though I think he was going through a great deal. 

During a trip to Egypt where the pain became so great he increased his pain medication, he decided upon return to just tell the doctors to take his bowel right out and give him a full colostomy as he could not live with the pain and it was obviously not getting any better,  and this was done almost immediately.  He laughed about not needing to douch any more and was so positive all through it.  But it seems things went from bad to worst and although he was always up-beat when I phoned,  he eventually moved into a hospice - he said for pain management - but within a couple of weeks his phone was switched off and he had died.  A few days later his sister called and told me the news and as soon as she said she was Andy's sister, I knew - for I had had to go through my own sisters phone book years ago after her death - phoning people and telling them - and I just knew.  Instantly my tummy did a flip,  my heart missed a beat and a tear came to my eye.  Poor Andy, I wish he'd let me know how ill he was, I would have visited him in the hospice,  but I think he didn't want a fuss - didn't want people to see him in those last days and wanted us to remember him as he was,  and he left this world peacefully and as he had lived it , on his own terms.

He also chose not to have a funeral service of any kind,  and the family were to be told - after the fact - that he had been cremated by the funeral company after it was all over.  Some would have a hard time with this - as saying your final farewell in front of a coffin is traditional and what we all expect,  but not when it causes such grief for people.  Andy hated fuss,  and so chose to leave this life as quietly as he could and leave happy memories and not grief in his wake.  

No flowers.

No hymns. 
No getting to the place on time and having to wear something black - which he would have hated and no
eulogy describing his life in nine minutes.

I was upstairs late last night with a friend and Andy and I had always shared a cigarette or two together and evenings just talking and laughing,  so I did just that with Matt who works here and we shared a few smokes,  talked about loads of things including Andy - and just had one of those evenings where we were giggling like school girls...  and all the while aware of Andy and how he would have loved to be with us one last time,  and bless him. 

Getting older for me is fun,  I see so much of other older people in myself as I come closer to my 60's - people who are older than I am and now I am catching them up,  and the one sadness is remembering all the sweet people whose lives have come to an end so much younger and so much sooner,  and it makes me sad.  I know there are always new friends to meet,  new faces to  laugh with and new evenings to share a smoke and a giggle and I give thanks for the ever changing aspect of my daily life and the wonderous way it moves through the years,  and there are times I remember back and see a face in my minds eye - of Andy - or someone else I held dear but probably never got the chance to really tell them how important they were to me,  and I try harder with my 'today friends' to let them know how much I care and love them, and as fast and as busy as my days are,  I always remember and keep their memory alive within my mind, my body and my soul and in this,  they are still with me.  Still alive and still making me smile.   For I don't ever want to forget.


Bless you Andy.

This is a piece of music he enjoyed and is to be played in the chapel.  CLICK HERE

 

 

 

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