Sunday April 19 , 2015


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The next statement in true

The first statement is untrue







 I have needed a few days away from Hammy Hall as I work 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year and have not had any time away from here for some years now, and even then it was only 3 or 4 days and running a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE where we really do struggle financially,  makes it hard to be able to actually afford much.  As a sex worker decades ago earning a fortune, I enjoyed holidays abroad to wonderful places where I was able to recharge the batteries and return home refreshed and renewed ready for the time ahead...  alive and excited.  Having taken the choice to 'put something back into the community'  over 15 years ago and not be preoccupied with profit profit profit like so many venues and where we are 'PEOPLE MOTIVATED - NOT PROFIT DRIVEN'  - means I am always struggling financially.

My passport expired a while ago and several dear friends died in the last couple of years so the friends I would have gone away with - or even visited them at their place,  is now lost to me and I was recently aware that I do need to get away and get some time for myself - as being a healer - a mother - a support structure for so many people, and always being their for them whenever they need advice, help, a friend - does take its toll and a break helps enormously.  Going away alone is not my thing and as my few close friends have either died or moved abroad and as stated, my passport has expired, I am rather at a loose end.

Over this last weekend I met a wonderful sexy man who - although it was to prove our friendship was to be non sexual ( damn it - as for the first time in ages I actually thought I had met someone I could enjoy on more than an intellectual level )  and he told me of his mental health problems, which were extremne to say the least - and we chatted and really enjoyed each others company.  So when he asked if I would like to go home with him when he left and enjoy a few days in the country ( as he lives on a farm right up near Scotland )  I saw this as a Divine Intervention and Invitation - an adventure - and I accepted with excitement and trepidation.  

Leaving Hammy Hall for me is a bit like pulling teeth as I am not use to leaving and have so much to make sure is sorted and arranged before I go;- and then packing and making sure I have all that I may need, as going so far north is going to be colder than here etc.  and being unsure of where and what was coming, I like to be prepared. It was exciting.

I rose early and got myself all ready - came down to breakfast and found a note that stated he had left in the middle of the night as the voices in his head were telling him to leave - so he did, and while he was very apologetic,  he felt it was for the best, and I appreciate and completely understand his mental health and the causes and reasons and hoped he had a safe and easy journey home and went with my love and blessing.  I am sure he is as upset as I am.

However :-  I was stuck to the spot for several moments thinking WTF is going on in my world ?  WTF are the angels doing ?  WTF is God up to to be so  cruel ?  I work hard - long hours - no breaks - fuck all sex life - putting out for others ALL THE TIME and being there for so many who I care about and help where I can - be it because of their mental health,  age, lonliness or whatever - and yet it does seem that whenever I am the one in need, there is fuck all there for me and even the angels seem to lead me on and then leave me wanting, and I am near to tears this afternoon.  It really is a case of WTF IS GOING ON ?

I do have a friend I could visit but it all comes with an ulterior motive - not so much for me but for him,  so that is out.  Customers who invite me to go and stay with them - is wonderful and so very kind,  but I need sometimes to get right away - no connection - and it seems sometimes as if the Angels are telling me something very different and it does upset me.  It doesn't seem very fair and while I believe we all make our own reality - in no way would I have created this.  I appreciate I do not know the bigger picture,  yet it all  seemed so cruel.

So I am not going away for a few days and I am here at this computer yet again, all unpacked and stuff put away,  and ready to go out with the dogs as usual and the usual shopping and then home for the usual day ahead and I just hope and pray he gets home safe and sound and that his mental health does not lead him down too many dark avenues and that he can find some light, some joy and some meaning to his life so the voices within his head leave him alone,  or at least - start telling him beautiful things instead of being so dark all the time. 
I hope he knows he will always be welcome here and if he is ever in a dark place and needs a shoulder, a friend - I will always be here for him and will always be the friend and will never turn away as others have done.  The best healing -  is  knowing and trusting that there is someone there for you - always - with no strings attached - and I will always offer him this. 

My hope and prayer is also that - maybe - just maybe - there will be someone there for me like this - that I can rely on, trust, confide in,  for guidance and support and maybe even a few days away to re charge and rely on at times when I need someone.   

While I never get depressed,   I do certainly feel a bit low today and I am very aware that I do not know the outcome of all this - as yet - and that something of light and beauty will come from this and I shall hold the place within me open for that miracle, that happiness and maybe even that person to be there for me - as I damned well deserve it.

It seems that being the Mother - the therapist, the support, comes with a price - and it is a painful price sometimes and one that comes with a heavy tag which can cost as much as it rewards.

I do wonder though - WTF is going on ?  Not about this man - as he has his own demons -  but with what God throws at me sometimes;-  What S/He expects of me and how S/He expects me to cope. Why S/He seems cruel sometimes and what S/He has planned for me that I am - as yet - ignorant of. 

In the meantime, I do wonder WTF ?


Dear John. My heart went out to you when I read your piece WTF.  I know how hard you put out for others and what little you get back and cannot tell you how I dearly felt for you over your lost time away.  So many of us trust you will be there when we need a break and I have always trusted you were there to listen and guide me over the years I have been attending and somehow,  in complete ignorance, I never even thought of how you coped with it all and the piece you wrote brought it home to me that you also need your time,  space and healing and I am sorry to hear you do not have that support structure as you offer us.  Putting others first all the time is a wonderful trait but not when it comes at your own cost.   Take care of yourself John and I hope you find what you are looking for and needing.
Malcolm. ( Oxford )

Oh John. I did feel sorry for you when i read your article about being dumped just prior to a few days away. It made me laugh and cry for you as similar things have happened to me and it does indeed hurt deeply.  I wish you well and hope you find a few days away some place nice real soon.  Orson ( Cambridge ) 

John. Read your Blog about your few days away that wasn't and I did feel for you. I know how hard you work and how much you put out for those in need and the free holiday I had at your place after my friend died was so kind and thoughtful of you and was exactly what I needed.  To hear that you have a hard time finding something in return is unfair - desperately unfair as you are one of the few genuinely kind and thoughtful people I have ever met and you really deserve better.  Victor ( Banbury ) 


Chasing the Scream:

The Beginning and End of the Drug War

The century-old drug war has been an enormous failure, doing little to stop either international drug trafficking or addiction to illegal substances, writes author Johann Hari in Chasing the Scream.

A humane policy that combines legalization with nonpunitive drug treatment is
long overdue.


JB Says:  An enormous amount of what we have been told is the truth - is not.  We have been massively misled and lied to in order to allow big business to propogate their lies to sell us products that are made from pretrolium products insted of the natural hemp - and as an example - The Kings James Bible - The American Constitution and even the Magna Carter were all written on Hemp fibre paper and not paper made from wood pulp.  Wood fibre paper needs bleach while Hemp paper does not.  The chemical industry makes billions from oil based chemical products - whereas Hemp is cheap, easy to grow and non toxic to the environment ( compared to the oil industry ) and it is all about making money rather than what is the best thing to do.  This book is brilliant.





Your comments on this are invited.


Dear UKIP:  Can you tell me where UKIP stands on the LGBT community / Gay rights and even gay marriage – as everyone I speak to seems to say different things and with millions reading my web site each year,  and with me promoting your 100 days e mail on my site – the LGBT community is somewhat confused on your stand on LGBT rights.

Thanks  John Bellamy

From:UKIP Head Office []
Sent: 29 January 2015 15:24
To: hamilton hall
Subject: Re: gay rights

Dear Mr Bellamy,

Thanks for your mail.

UKIP do not have a policy or stance on LGBT rights-this issue is a personal one

and outside the remit of a political party.

Kind Regards
Alan Bigwood
UKIP Head Office

My answer in return:

Dear Alan:

I am confused by your answer as it is vague and naïve in stating how LGBT rights are  outside the remit of a political party. 

It has EVERYTHING to do with a political party as it is politics and politicians that listen to the people when formulating its strategy for the forthcoming election and how the people should vote.  If you are saying you have absolutely no idea – or that your party has no interest in LGBT rights – or that it is a personal issue and outside the remit of YOUR political party,  then you have offered me a step backwards from your party and your answer needs to be exposed to the LGBT community as vague and lacking.  I asked a serious question as many within the LGBT community believe UKIP to be a homophobic and racist party,  which it seems to be trying to show is an inaccurate and untruthful belief structure;-   yet your evasive answer to my serious question evades being honest with me and evades committing yourself to an answer to my question. 

 The point it :-  You have not answered my question and I am wondering who I should speak to next in order not to be fobbed off as you have done, but to offer a serious and educated answer to someone with millions of readers on my web site aimed at those within the LGBT community.

With an election looming and people such as myself showing an interest and asking a serious and topical questions to you about a contentious issue that occurred within the last couple of years – that being Civil Partnerships and Gay Marriage – it would have been accommodating of you to offer where your party stands on these issues and not a one line stating the nonsense you have offered me below.

Shame on you – you have done UKIP no good at all with this type of evasive and plainly ignorant of the facts – answer. 

If you cannot accommodate me with a clear and defined answer – then please let me know who can.

In the meantime, this will be on my web site and millions will now be reading your somewhat lacking response.

John Bellamy

WITHIN A MINUTE of sending my e mail above,  I received this one below:

Dear Mr Bellamy,
I suggest you contact David Coburn MEP- who is a gay man and as a member of our party's National Executive Committee is probably best placed to give you a more informed response.His e-mail address is

(I wonder why he has an anonymous hotmail account rather than an official UKIP address... )

Kind Regards
Alan Bigwood
UKIP Head Office

SO I WROTE to David Coburn and a week or so later have not heard in respeonse. I appreciate he is a busy man - so I phoned and spoke to someone at head ofice who also stated I shopuld e mail david Coburn but that they ( UKIP ) does not at the moment have a policy on  LGBT issues and when the manifesto comes out in late March it shoulkd cover all aspects of wht UKIP stand for.

Now: That seems a little vague.  I pointed out that my web site gets 7 million hits and she still could not advise me one way or the other and it does seem a little odd that a political party has nothing to say when a journelist with 7 million readers gets absolutely nowhere when asking a simple and straight forward question.



I am NOT saying I am voting for UKIP in the next election - I found this interesting reading and worthy of sharing with you.  If other parties offer something similar for the public to read, I shall also Blogg that on here as well.

The Conservatives want the focus to be on the economy, while Labour want it to be on the NHS. The Liberal Democrats, meanwhile, want people to think neither of the two main parties can be trusted with a majority government and there is a lot of misdirection as to what UKIP stands for and what the party states :- Are they for or against gay marriage  ? 

Judging by my question to Alan Bigwood above and the disgraceful answer he gave which totally ignored the facts and just - in a sence - condescended - it is no wonder UKIP gets so much bad press when idiots like Alan Bigwood shoot themselves in the foot with such a stupid and offensively ignorant answer to a simple question on where UKIP stands on LGBT rights.  It is people like Alan Bigwood that destroys from within., It is people like Alan Bigwood who should never - ever - be in politics as his moronic answer is just laughable. 

Have a read below and pay attention to the other parties and remember who was in control when this credit crunch - this banking scandal where billions were squandered on mega wealthy bankers / gangsters which screwed us all - and remember we are not - and never shall be - an island alone - as we do need Europe and the rest of the world and we do need to be a part of that global economy. 

I do feel it is time Europe was given a MASSIVE SHAKE UP to get those arrogant MEP's to wake up and smell the shit they are throwing at everyone and for the first time ever - BALANCE THE BOOKS AND STOP THE BILLIONS IN FRAUD - I do not want out of Europe but EU does need a serious wake up call and maybe this is the time to oput the wind of change into the arena and scare them enough to make some radical changes - ie: immigration - fraud - benefits being paid to people not even in the UK and so forth.

Some of the list below goes over my head and I do not even pretend to understand some of it,  but I AM interested enough to ask questions, read and watch and make up my own mind and not be brainwashed with absolute BULLSHIT that so many news media and even the politicians themselves come out with.  It seems, the truth is ofte hard to find.

Never stop asking questions and learn discernment in what you choose to believe.


Good for you, John!  Bet you don't get a response to the last one you sent!  Keep it, start a party, and stick two fingers up to all narrow-minded extremists!!  Stewart ( Poole )

Well done, John.  I find UKIP policy vague in a number of respects.  I don’t think they’ve done their homework, and so individual candidates are left to say what they think the majority of their supporters want to hear.  That’s not a clever way to make policy.  With fewer than 100 days to go to the election, they should come off the fence and clarify their position.  Roger ( Cambridge ) 


100 days till the election, 100 reasons to vote UKIP

Published Jan 27, 2015

10952271_798855083495430_5283085457226450293_n.pngWith 100 days to the election, here are the first 10 of 100 great reasons to vote UKIP 

1. Get Britain out of the European Union
2. Get control of immigration with an Australian-style, points-based immigration system
3. £3bn more, annually, into our NHS which desperately needs it
4. Scrap tuition fees for students studying Science, Tech, Engineering, Maths, or Medical degrees
5. Pay greater attention to elderly care across the country
6. Cutting £9bn from our foreign aid budget
7. Give the people the ability to “recall” their MPs, without parliamentary or MP approval
8. Stopping our endless, foreign wars
9. Promoting a British identity, as opposed to failed multiculturalism
10. Allowing existing schools to become grammar schools

11. Ending PFI privatisation of the NHS, proliferated by Labour and the Tories
12. Ensuring our armed services are properly equipped for when we do need them
13. Establishing a Veteran’s Administration to look after those who looked after us
14. Encouraging inward investment with growth markets, not JUST the failing Eurozone
15. Overcoming the unfairness of MPs from devolved nations voting on English laws
16. Cutting bureaucracy, red tape, and wasteful spending from government departments
17. Cutting the same bureaucracy that hinders small businesses and entrepreneurs
18. Supporting our farmers with a Single Farm Payment Scheme
19. Ending the burdensome “green levies” that have added £000s to our energy bills
20. Scrapping the poorly planned HS2 project, saving up to £50bn
21. Opposing tolls on public roads – we’ve already paid for them
22. Supporting bus passes for pensioners with the support of local authorities
23. Foreign vehicles to require Britdisc passes to contribute to our roads they use
24. Ending the use of speed cameras as revenue raisers – they should be a deterrent
25. Protecting our green belt
26. A central list of brownfield sites for developers
27. Houses on brownfield sites to be Stamp Duty exempt on first sale
28. VAT relaxed for redevelopment of brownfield sites
29. Local referenda for large-scale development, if triggered by 5% of electorate
30. Introducing the ability for citizens to initiate national referenda
31. Withdrawing from the European Court of Human Rights
32. Reversing the government’s opt-in to the European Arrest Warrant
33. Negotiating bi-lateral agreements to replace EAW
34. No votes for prisoners
35. Full prison sentences should be served, parole on case-by-case basis
36. Replacing the Human Rights Act with a British Bill of Rights
37. Official documents to be published primarily in English
38. Cracking down on honour killings, female genital mutilation, and forced marriages
39. Reviewing the BBC licence fee with a view to reducing it
40. Taking non-payment of the licence fee out of the criminal sphere
41. Amend the smoking ban to promote choice for ventilated smoking rooms
42. Opposing plain packs for cigarettes, which has had no impact where trialled
43. Promoting the employment of young, British workers
44. Repealing the Agency Workers Directive
45. Encouraging councils to provide more free parking on High Streets
46. Simplifying planning regulations for long-term empty commercial properties
47. Extending the right of appeal for micro businesses against Revenue and Customs
48. Negotiating bespoke trade agreements with EU member states and worldwide
49. Reoccupying our seat at the World Trade Organisation
50. Abolishing inheritance tax


51. Introducing a 35p income tax rate between £42,285 and £55,000 – taking many public sector workers out of top rate of tax
52. Setting up a Treasury Commission to make sure big corporations pay their way in taxes
53. Abolishing the Dept of Energy and Climate Change and rolling retained functions into DEFRA
54. Introducing an Apprenticeship Qualification for students who don’t want to do non-core GCSEs
55. Scrapping the arbitrary 50% target for university attendance
56. Students from the EU to pay the same as International Students
57. Introducing more power for parents: OFSTED to investigate schools on petition signed by 25% of parents or governors
58. Guaranteeing a job in the police, prison, or border forces for anyone who has served 12 years in the Armed Forces
59. Priority social housing for ex-service men and women, and those returning from service
60. Veterans to receives Veteran’s Card to ensure they’re supported in event of mental health care and more
61. All entitlements to be extended to servicemen and women recruited from overseas
62. Establishing a National Service Medal for all those who have served
63. Encouraging local authorities to buy out their PFI contracts where affordable
64. Ensuring GP’s surgeries are open at least one evening per week where demand permits
65. Ensuring migrants have NHS-approved health insurance until they have paid into the system for 5 years
66. Ending hospital car parking charges
67. Replacing bureaucratic watchdogs with locally elected health boards for more transparency
68. Stopping the sale of patient data to big business
69. Ensuring a high standard of English speakers in the NHS
70. Amend working time rules to give trainee doctors, surgeons, and medics better environments
71. Encouraging and protecting whistleblowing to get to the bottom of poor performance
72. Ensuring migrants have jobs and accommodation before they can come to the UK
73. Migrants will only be eligible for residency after 10 years’ working here
74. Reinstating the primary purpose rule, bringing an end to sham marriage migration
75. No amnesty for illegal immigrants, or those gaining UK passports via fraud
76. Protecting genuine refugees by returning to the UN Convention of Refugees principles
77. British companies to be prioritised to deliver foreign aid contracts
78. Repealing the Climate Change Act 2008 which costs the economy £18n per year
79. Scrapping the Large Combustion Plant directive and redevelop UK power stations
80. Supporting the development of UK Shale Gas with proper safeguards
81. No new taxpayer subsidy for wind farms
82. Leaving the Common Agricultural Policy
83. Allowing parliament to vote on GM foods
84. Reinstating British territorial waters
85. Food to be labelled with country of origin, method of production, method of slaughter and more
86. Ban live animal exports for slaughter
87. Scrapping the Bedroom Tax
88. Child benefit only for children permanently resident in the UK
89. Future child benefit to be limited to first two children only
90. Ensuring an initial presumption of 50-50 parenting on child custody matters
91. Safeguarding visitation rights for grandparents
92. Supporting a streamlined welfare system and a benefit cap
93. Enrolling unemployed benefits claimants into workfare or community schemes
94. Placing revenues from shale gas into a Sovereign Wealth Fund to ensure future growth and security
95. Emphasising the immediate need to utilise forgotten British infrastructure like Manston Airport
96. No cuts to frontline policing
97. Prioritising social housing for those whose parents and grandparents were born locally
98. Reaffirming British laws, rather than allowing dual-track legal systems for minorities in the UK
99. Promoting patriotism and the importance of British values in our schools
100. Rebalancing Britain’s economy


80. Supporting the development of UK Shale Gas with proper safeguards
81. No new taxpayer subsidy for wind farms

I am personally against Shale Gas and the dangerous methods used to extract this and am very sad to see our governments running around in circles taking money from alternative wind farms etc and giving it to carbon based, polluting and dangerous methods of creating fuel.  It is NOT the way forward and we only have to look to the USA and th dangers and chaos caused to local housing etc and we should NOT be following suit.   We are suppose to be creating safer alternatives to fossil fuels and here we are putting billions intoi yet another fosssil fuel.







Remember who 'YOU' are©

By Christopher Charles

(One of my neighbours here at Hamilton Hall)

"Have you ever though there might be more to life?
Have you ever thought of the trouble and strife?
Have you ever thought you don't need a wife?
in this system that tells YOU what is right.

Have you ever thought that black could be white
Have you ever wanted dark to be light
Have you ever wished that wrong was right
to stop the arguing and end the fight.

Well yes.....guess what..? You're not alone
cos a mate'o'mine just heard on the phone
that an awakening is happening on this planet...your home.
Its such a good reason to have a moan

So put pen to paper and air your views
make a banner and get on the news,
have regular meetings...invite your crews
for this is the know what to do

For this has been predicted through space and time
that the people will end up...not towing the line
and without the state...we'll be just fine
from the 1% and their hidden crimes.

The banks are corrupt
The leaders out of touch
The BBC is weird
and the planets burning up.

So we vote a change...cos we think it matters
we get a different group of mad hatters
or ask for new laws to cover the doors
of the apparent cause,  to all the flaws
The government will not like us
on the streets with loud hailers and banners
we shout "make some new laws for these cheating scammers"
but we don't realise we are voting for laws that will hit us as a row of angry hammers.

'Cos we all want change...but asking's not right
We must spread our wings if we really want flight
and not get caught up in their two party fight
Make up your own mind...don't believe the hype

You cant stop wars by bombing for peace
That's like trying to fuck for virginity at least
and when we ask for laws on hateful speech
we take away the freedom of each

So stop being offended of what people say
Its only because YOU hear it that way
Sticks and stones and come what may
Support freedom of speech everyday

So how do we make a new world for the better
I'll tell ya....I'll go through it letter for letter

Turn off your tellys and put on your wellies
'cos growing your own food is where its at.

Remove the fluoride from your diet
Its only there to keep you quiet

Get to know your neighbours and others around
and you'll soon find ...they're all quite sound.

Recognise the difference between statute and law
and the word means much more.

For the acts are not real...they come from the sea
they were not meant for you and me.
It's all maritime's corporate rules
and I'm sorry to say ...we have all been fooled.
There are very few laws for women and men
no damage...that's them
It's just a game...the game of life
you count yourself in when you use the dice,
and the dice is your name........
I'm watching you frown
For your names property of the Crown

Remember who you are."

© Hamilton Hall Promotions / Christopher Charles  CT13012013


Withholding information from people should be a crime. We believe is sharing knowledge and wisdoms freely, and if anything on this web site has been used without permission, then our apologies. Please inform us and if you wish, it will be removed.  We do not make money from this web site and is part of a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE of Hamilton Hall.

The poem above was written by Christopher Charles  and you are welcome to re print and re use it and please always give a credit to the author and to this web site.  If we find you are making a profit from it or stealing its content for other financial gain and taking the worthy praise that Christopher Charles  - in my opinion, deserves for this brilliant piece, then we will seek legal action.

John Bellamy





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