The single thing that I hear ringing in my head - is -
How does the law allow for personal preference.
If I want black and I do not want white, I am not discriminating against white, my personal preference is for black. If I want Chinese, I am not discriminating against Indian, I just want Chinese. If I want men's company, I am not discriminating against women, it is my personal preference.
Graham's e mail below sums this up perfectly.
an e mail from a customer on this subject-
Dear John, I was accused by a gay mens yahoo group of discriminating against guys with small dicks as I was advertising on the site looking for well hung guys to play with. I told them this was my personal preference and they kept accusing me of discrimination. This kind of abuse of the law and of the word is laughable and I was left open mouthed at their audacity and stupidity. My personal preference is for well hung guys - and those that scream discrimination under these circumstances need a serious adjustment ( and slapping if you ask me ) as this kind of rhetoric is dangerous, naive and plainly dumb. All I could think to say in reply was that he needed to 'grow the fuck up.' Graham B.
When it comes to discrimination, gay men have been fighting for more than 100 years to get the laws of England changed to stop discrimination. I marched and waved banners over the decades and celebrated when the law came in last year and knew it would be double edged and that there would be those in opposition who would turn the law on its ass and use it against the LGBT community, for some people cannot resist causing trouble.
Since the two gay guys complained that they were refused a double bed in a guest house, we examined the law as best we could through the internet and found what we think will allow us to remain a men only venue, and are once again, having to take time examining scores of pages of web sites to see exactly what the law does actually say. It is a mine field.
I do have to say, what the hell were the two guys booking into a Christian based guest house in the first place for ? With so many cheap hotels and big chain hotels all over the country these days, it is not hard to find somewhere that is not a small family run venue where you can - and in this case - did - face homophobia. Did they not think to say when they booked it on the phone - or mention it on e mail - just to save any embarrasment on either side ? Or did they set this up on purpose , as I cannot believe they were that stupid. I have little sympathy for them, as just because the law has been changed does not mean the attitudes and feelings of people have caught up with the law, and it will be generations before that happens, as any idiot must know.
They have actually opened a hornets nest and given ideas to the homophobes to target gay venues , and doing something like they did - just because they can - is naive and unsupportive of what gay people have been fighting for , for decades. Ramming it down peoples throats is illadvised and plainly irresponsible.
I remember a gay underwear bar in east London years ago which asked people to please be discrete on exit, but some silly queens had to gob off - loudly bragging about their escapades while inside the bar - while waiting at the bus stop - and too many of the local residence got sick of hearing fowl language and sex talk screamed in front of their children, complained to the police and council, and the bar was raided and closed down. All because some gobby queens couldn't offer some respect to those who really didn't want to hear about their sexploits.
The one section of the community who is irresponsible and dreadul towards gay people - are gay people.
In this vain, I am aware that there are those who cannot stand me personally and some gay men's groups have little to say about me that is nice. Not that I have ever met these people and not that they have ever visited here, and as I do not stand fools lightly - especially those who act in an amateurish manner when it comes to business, even if they are volunteers - and I am not afraid to speak my mind and point out the bloody obvious. Dealing with the gay community is never easy because there really are a lot of guys out there who do resent, are jealous and envious and seem unable to be supportive of those who do try, in whatever way, to do something nice for others with no strings attached. Just like Andrew in the TV porogramme ' 3 IN A BED ' - some people will never 'get the point' and will always offer negative input because - all too often - their life is negative and they do not understand those of us who try and be more positive. So they resent. Which is so sad, especially as many of us offer what we offer, freely to anyone - with no strings attached, and they STILL resent.
I learned long ago as a counselor, that some times you have to let some people go, and allow them to find their own path without your help or input - and that their journey is not up to you and is no reflection on you - and that you have to concentrate your energies on those who do appreciate - who are supportive and who are willing - and then their world can be changed.
I received a 2 page letter this week from the council about under 18 year olds not being allowed to use sun beds. I have received flyers on how to cook eggs, on buying illegally poached salmon - tons of stuff on the Disability Act when it came in a few years ago and TONS of stuff when the No Smoking Ban came into law - yet nothing - absolutely one big fat ZERO from anyone concerning the Sex Equality Act which DOES affect my business and the government does absolutely nothing to educate the general public and business about its contents. NOTHING. And we, the small business who run as a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE cannot afford legal representation guiding us and we struggle to understand what the web site states. Not being legally minded and slightly dyslexic, it takes me an age to figure these things out and it is a struggle. .
The law can make what it likes of it, but the fact remains that many gay and bisexual men ARE discriminated against and their human rights ARE denied - simply because they are gay - and demanding that everyone mix and get along all honkey dorey is not an accurate portrayal as to how it is for many within society. Violence, intimidation, verbal and physical abuse and a denial of human dignity is thrown at many within the gay world and this is why - for decades, a 'gay only' environment was important for many to feel safe within, and very little has changed just because the law may state otherwise.
With the gay culture homogonizing with the straight world in the UK, we are close to loosing our gay identity. It feels as if we are in the 'death knell' of the gay scene as it nears its end as a community and becoms more and more watered down and this is exactly why so many minority groups, globally, are struggling to maintain their identities - Black and Asians - American Indians, Aboriginies etc. With more gay bars, clubs and hotels closing - partly because of the Equality Law and partly because of the Credit Crunch and lack of income, and the smoking ban, we urge you to support your local gay venue, as once they close, our gay community will have no venues, no places to meet and while we are now supposedly more accepted in all venues, by law, we all know what a load of bollocks that is in many parts of the country. We do need gay owned and run venues for our community, to help foster understanding and compassion in a world that is still, regardless of what the law now states, homophobic and bigoted.
We will always need 'safe places' to meet and denying this is redundant to what the people - ( the people who have demanded equality and who have been abused BY THE LAW for hundreds of years ) - require. The law is completely redundant if the government does absolutely nothing about involving, educating and including all those involved. We need:-
1) Advertising and educating of the public about what the new law states.
2) Educate the public about minority groups in general.
3) Stop hounding minority groups and religious organisations
( See the demonisation of Muslims in the media and tell me exactly how this is a healthy move forward to integration ...??? )
4) Involve minority groups - do not side step them in order to ignore what they have to say - it is for these people the law has been changed.
5) Inform, Guide and Assist business, not through intimidation and lectures, but with understanding and a comprehension that many are not legally minded and cannot read and understand the various legal web sites as it makes little sense - nor can many afford legal counsel.
Just look at what the Pope recently stated about the Equality Laws of the UK ?
When institutions such as the church get special dispensation from the law - which sends a loud message to all those who may have to change their business practices to come into line with the law or be forced to close - while the church can do what it likes and still be homophobic and bigoted towards gays and women and get away with it, and with the Pope actually speaking out against this law - this is a disgusting message - yet his institution gets away with it and the law bows down to his pressure.
There is no real logical explanation and using religious doctrines that are unproven and outdated with todays society is as redundant as many of the outdated laws that have never been altered to come into the 21st century but are actually still on the statute books.
Are Lap Dancing Bars discriminating against women customers by not offering half naked male pole dancers ? And if the club then offers male pole dancers for the women customers, is the club then discriminating against the gays who might want to come and watch the male pole dancer ? And if the straight men who use the club to watch the women dancing complain about all the gay men, who will be asked to leave , as this would be discrimination against one or the other ?
My answer is that if it is a male dominated straight pole dancing club with girls dancing, then it should remain a male dominated pole dancing club with girls dancing and anyone who doesn't like it - or who wants something different like male pole dancers - should go elsewhere and leave this sucessful business alone. There are always other venues - yet always someone ready to bitch and complain, and who them moans when everything has closed down and 'there is nowhere to go.'
Some people really need to 'get a life' and stop interfering with other peoples lifestyles and cultures just because it displeases them. This is the kind of intollerance and bigotry the new law should target and not the very minority groups that are supposedly protected and offered freedom of expression without harrasment and bigotry.
The BBC News today ( 15/04/2011 ) announced that 76% of women interviewed said they only had sex with their husbands because they felt sorry for them.
Isn't that absolutely dreadful ?
They feel sorry for them.
And society then wonders why so many men are sexually dysfunctional ;- have affairs on the side ;- visit prostitutes;- touch young girls or even decide to have sex with other men.
I was not amazed when I heard this as I have heard this for decades from many of my clients who complained that sex with their wives was a chore for the women and the men felt intimidated and ridiculed by their wives for simply being horny - and the amount of headaches complained about - would make one assume there were a lot of brain tumors around.
No wonder society is so sexually fucked up.
While many minority groups are the target for prejudice... and discrimination... in our society,
few persons face this hostility without the support and acceptance of their family
as do many gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth.
Cunard Cruise Ships are moving the home port of all their cruise ships away from Southampton to an overseas location BECAUSE OF THE EQUALITY LAWS IN THE UK.
It seems that any European port now has to offer equal pay to everyone on board working - who is a European, and as Cunard pays different people from different countries - different wages for doing the same job ( ie: Polish are paid less than the English ) they have moved their registration away from a European country like England in order to still pay less to some people. Their claim was that they wanted to offer 'on board weddings' and some silly law in the UK caused this problems, was later proven to be only partially true and that the DISCRIMINATION ACT is the reason.
So there you have it - big business uses the discrimination act to pay less wages and so much for the law - as in practice, big business can get around the law and do what they like.