Tuesday July 07 , 2015




A Dream for the Future

Do you want to be a part of my dream ?

here are so many elderly gay men, who own their own home and have a few bob and who are lonely. They do not go on the scene and they have few friends who visit and - by and large - they are lonely.

So what is the dream.

To buy a big old house - maybe somewhere just out of the town ( maybe Bournemouth ) in the country but just a 20 minute drive into town,  with a large garden and - hopefully - 4 or 5 big bedrooms. A typical old Victorian house - which there are a lot of - would be big enough -  and to convert each bedroom into a mini suit - so it would have a small lounge area and a bedroom and maybe a shower bathroom en suit.  The ground floor would then be as normal with  lounge - dining room  kitchen / family room - studio etc.  Hopefully it would have a garden with a green house and maybe even a sun lounge and plenty of space. 

The dream.

To sell each bedroom for a  price and the house would be owned between us all.  This would mean that we all own the venue - equally -  and we all share the responsibilities of it - and of each other - as a family.
We would
live together as a community.  We would have guidelines of behaviour, cleaning, noise etc. and we would look after and care for each other as we get older.  We would help with hospital visits,  social services etc. and cook and clean and be there for each other.  We would each have our own private space, should we want to watch a movie in private or have a friend in for the evening, otherwise we share the downstairs communal rooms together.

When someone dies,  the property is kept within the group - maybe run as some kind of charitable trust owned and facilitated by those living in it - and the empty room can then be sold to a new person who wants to join the group,  and his money invested would help pay for property repairs,  buy a mini bus for the guys - offer bursary monies if someone lives longer and runs low of funds,  pay for a cleaner and even maybe a gay masseur now and then.

It would be a house where 4 or 5 elderly gay men live together as friends and enjoy the twilight years - not alone - but with others who care.  Where we support and nurture each other and share a laugh. 

I appreciate the fantasy and the reality are two very different things and the main reason some of these  ' gay housing groups'  have never been a real community with community living, is because no one trusts each other enough to actually hand over their money towards building costs - and other than offering their time and effort, when it comes to hard cash - giving over what has taken years to earn - few people trust others - and rightly so.  When it comes to money, there will always be the con man, the thief, the asshole with absolutely no conscience at all, just look at Kristian who worked here and who spent his life stealing from people without one single regret.  All he knew to do was lie through his teeth  and treat everyone as a fool.  Avoiding this can be hard and unless I buy and adapt and own the property outright in the first place and people can see the result of what it is they are buying into,  it could be a rough road getting it all started.

But the dream lives on and I hold out high hopes for the future and pray that when the time comes to move on from Hamilton Hall - this could become a reality.

An alternative dream is that instead of buying into this,  a person signs up for a minimum of 6 months renting - and as this is not an old folks home or  retirement home,  just some guys renting a room in a large house with others,  we do not need all the high cost health and safety gadgets that cripple most businesses.  It would need each 6 months of rent being paid 'up front' and all bills to be shared between those living here.  I may own the venue, but I need an income as
well for myslf and I am not prepared to give this away and subsidize others as I have done for so many years at Hamilton Hall.  This is to be equally paid for by all those living in this fantasy house. 

Naturally, I have thought it could also happen in Hamilton Hall, as one day I am going to want to retire and it is a big enough place ... and I do own it outright - and the rooms are quite large... it's just my dream, my fantasy, is to have a nice big garden with lawns and where you can walk naked and feel grass under your bare feet - but who knows what the future has in store.  If you do not have a dream, how can you ever hope for anything.

If you have any ideas to add,  some suggestons,  a property  to donate or a million quid to give away,  I would be very g
reatful and I would use it - totally - for the betterment of other peoples lives and in so doing,  create a good future for myself as well,  as I am a part of this and it is for me as much as it is for others.  So let's see how much feed back we get as the last time I wrote about this,  I had none at all.  ( After 5 years of this being on the web site, I have - as usual - never had a response ... so am I wrong ? ) 

Come on guys, get your thinking caps on and your thoughts written down...  stop waiting for someone else to motivate you all the time,,, get pro actve in your own destiny and make a life for yourself that brings you joy, friendship, companionship and love...  It really is - all up to you.


John Bellamy ( pictured left )