Saturday September 05 , 2015


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  4. SPECIAL OFFERS current position


yes, there's more

as over the years people have played all sorts of 'funnies' on us and this Small Print / Terms & Conditions Page has grown and continues to grow to help prevent the assholes taking advantage and screwing with us financially.  You would be amazed at the games people try and pull, the abuse they throw at us, the lies and blatant bullshit and if they think I was born yesterday,  then they are very much mistaken.  My apologies for so much on this page,  but because of peoples actions over the years, we need to protect ourselves.

I hate all this small print but sadly we have to have it



BRITISH GAS threatened to break my knees - see bottom of page for details



If you send multiple e mails ( 3 or more  )- or multiple phone calls ( 3 or more ) to make a reservation  - or you constantly refuse - for whatever reason, to follow our instructions prefering to do things ' your way' and not ours, we will add between £5 and £30  to your bill for all the extra work involved or even refuse any Special Offer Discount offered  and only offer the full price. 

Please make sure you have enough credit on your card when offering it as deposit / payment  for any period at Hamilton Hall and that the card is in the same name as the reservation.   If you have insufficient funds available for the reservation and we have to make multiple phone calls and attempts to gain credit /  debit card clearance - we will add 10% or £25 to the cost of your stay, and if no reservation is forthcoming - we will still charge your card £25 for our time and charges.  ( see below for more on this )


The name on the credit / debit card must match the name of the person staying and the e mail address must also belong to the same named person.


* We may charge an extra  £15 - £30 ( discretionary ) 

   If the card does not clear and we have to phone you back  or e mail and get another card details,

  • or if you knew  there were insufficient funds available to cover the amount to be charged

  • When attempting to make a  booking you immediately cancel before the transaction is completed and we are left wondering ' What the ....'
    This happens, and one time right in the middle of taking a booking one man suddenly turned really strange and accused me of fraud and corruption using his card ( er ??? )  and shouted abuse at me dwn the phone and he was charged £15 for my time. As far as I was concerned, he was cancelling the reservation as he was making it and my time is not free.

  • or if we have multiple e mails from you concerning what should really be an easy transaction, 

  • or if you send pdf attachments - or attachments of any kind, which is unnecessary and just confuses.

  • or if you enquire for a booking and then try and use your credit card and the reservation is in someone elses name.

  • We may also make an extra charge if you e mail us through our web site and claim not to have an e mail address and expect us to phone you back.  All our business is facilitated through e mail and we do not - as the web site makes clear - phone you back unless an extra charge is applied to your booking to cover our costs.

  • If you do not follow our simple instructions for making a reservation, which are made very clear throughout this site, and we have to send e mails or phone calls to get your details to make your rservation.




    Some people  think they can tell me how to run my business and how they intend making a reservation,  and as I always say,  British Airways has strict guidelines as to how it facilitates its business and so do we.  You offer BA respect and make reservations according to their guidelines.  Please offer us the same respect and value our business guidelines which are CLEARLY LAID OUT HERE FOR YOU.



  • If you try and make a reservation and offer an unprofessional approach after offering us your card details,   and then cancel giving an assortment of erronious reasons, we will charge you between £15 and £30 for our administration and time spent on your behalf. You would be amazed how many people think it clever to play games with us. 

    ( This comes about when  someone was booking  a room for a single night and then said he might turn up a day late as he was unsure of his exact movements and would this matter. When I stated he would be charged for the night he had booked and then re charged for the new night, he was quite rude and said he did not want the booking  and was unable to hear my reasons - and all this after considerable work on our part.  As Hamilton Hall  is NOT FOR PROFIT - we make a charge to cover our costs as I refuse to allow anyone to disrespect me or Hamilton Hall in such a manner.  It is unenlightened. 


  • Arrival Times:  If you arrive outside of our Arrival Times and you have not requested this,  there may be a charge of between £15 and £50.  
    Afternoon naps,  walking the dog, visiting Tesco etc. are all vital to the smooth running of Hamilton Hall and if you do not respect that we have work and 'off time'  then you will be charged.  Disrespect thrown at us in this manner is not appreciated and some people deliberately set about abusing us in this manner with absolutely no consoideration or thought at all, and for that,  they are charged.




If you are attending an event where dinner is provided,  please inform us at the time of reservation if you are a vegetarian. If you do not and spring it on us at the last minute, you may not be offered an alternative. 

Vegan and Gluton free meals are also available with at least 4 days advance notice - and we charge an extra £25 a day as we have to shop and cater just for you which makes a great deal of extra work for us. Please be responsible and remember - if you take a flight on British Airways, they do not ask if you require a different meal from the usual chicken or beef, it is up to you to be responsible enough to state your requirements well in advance, otherwise you go without.  





Tel:  01202-399227



All e mails addresses are automatically added to our bulk e mail package for the occasional promotional e mail from us.  If you wish not to be added to this,  opt out is very easy - just return the offending e mail and ask to be DELETED FROM THE SYSTEM PLEASE.


If you do not turn up on the day of arrival,  and we do not hear from you by phone or email on that day, we will telephone or e mail  to see if you are okay and to set a new arrival time .    If we get your answer phone, we will  leave a discreet  message.  If we still do not  hear back from you within 24 hours - we will cancell the reservation and a full charge is made.

If you cancel a reservation with us because you have not planned your time off work correctly, or given enough notice at work,:- you cannot get a flight / train / coach as you didn't book it in time -  then the full amount is payable.  We ask that you are responsible with planning your vacation times as - would British Airways accept that you forgot to ask for time off work,  or that your work schedule has been changed and you cannot do anything about it ?  I  think not. 



LATE ARRIVALS FOR A WORKSHOP WEEKEND:-   If you are late arriving because you did not plan time off work and you arrive after dinner ( after 8pm )  a staff member has to stay on duty to welcome you as your host will have already started the workshop and cannot be disturned. We may charge an extra £15 per hour you are late after 8pm to cover the extra staffing costs.  When you make a booking for a workshop, please respect that this relies on the group dynamic and we expect you to respect this is NOT  a holiday chill out weekend but a structured workshp with set times and an organised plan for the whole weekend.  A late arrival can cause extra work for our unpaid facilitator and we ask that you make a special effort to be here on time.  If advised when the booking is taken of a late arrival,  this is not a propblem, but when you have booked a month ahead of time and then announce at the last minute that you cannot get free from work when you have had a month to plan your trip,  then a charge will be made.  

LATE ARRIVALS FOR B&B - is absolutely no problem as long as we have been advised.  After 10pm may incur an extra staff charge.
We get very little free time and after dinner, like to relax with our guests or even just watching telly and not worry that there is someone over due or maybe lost.  As long as we have been kept in the loop - and offered respect - absolutely no problem. 

August 2013:  A guest who was due to arrive between 7 - 8pm did not show up or answer his phone, and arrived at 2am. I was in bed asleep and as we do not have a Front Desk or a 24 hour doorman,  I was not ammused at being awoken with no apology at all, just a complaint that he got lost. FOR 6 HOURS - I THINK NOT.   He was charged £50 for the late arrival and still did not offer an apology, which I consider bad mannered.  Later - at 4am,  I was awoken by someone groping me as I lay asleep and naked,  and I felt a mouth go around my dick and I pretended to be asleep - and he was useless - absolutely useless - and to be honest, I though it was a dream until he climbed over me and tried to bare back himself with my dick and I then awoke with a start and threw him out of my room.  I admire his taste - ha ha - but was absolutely horrified he thought he could :-0

a) arrive so late with no apology
b) assume he could have sex with me while I slept
c) bare back sex is dangerous and he obviously had no thought of me and my health AT ALL.

The next day I told him off as his behaviour was completely disgraceful and he left - and has never returned - Funny that..



We appreciate accidents and circumstances change  and we have been bullshitted too many times by people who assume I was born yesterday.   

Please be responsible and professional.





If we do business with other companies and we have cause for complaint -  these charges apply.

If we are forced to write / e mail or phone concerning anything we are unhappy about when dealings with your company - FIRST LETTER / EMAIL / PHONE CALL - FREE

Repeated letters / e mail / phone call  concerning the same complaint - £25 each

If after 4 letters / e mails / phone calls we are still not getting the complaint resolved and it is felt your company is not applying ityself to sorting this out - £50 for each letter / e mail / phone call. 

Over charging our account  - 50% of the entire bill is to be charged as a penalty.
If refunds are not made within the date allocated - £50 charge per 7 days late.

If we feel you are trying to bully us - £100 charge * see below

If we have to correct information your staff members have gotten wrong, or who offer bad service - £50 for each letter /. e mail / phone call to correct.

In all cases you will be offered a period in which to correct the information.  If this is not facilitated within this time frame, then charges may apply.  Between £25 - £100 according to the severtity of the infiormation and the consequences that may follow. 

HAMILTO HALL IS A NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE with just one paid housekeeping staff member and no paid office staff.  All work undertaken facilitating office work is done so by volunteer time and unlike 'big business' who have scores of workers employed to facilitate a correct and professional attitude towards others in business,  it is appreciated if big business remember this aspect before offering an inferior and unprofessional attitude towards those who are doing their best.  If they cannot, then we shall apply charges to cover our time, stress and costs involved in sorting out big business and their problems with doing business with those who do not have teams in place to do one or two simple jobs.


*  ( Some years ago British Business Gas threatened to come round here and BREAK MY KNEES if I did not pay the bill that British Gas had got completely and eroniously WRONG and the mistake was 100% theirs, yet they threatened me with physical violence.  There was actually 4 'F' words in there as well from a very agressive bullish sounding gruff man one morning early.   This kind of corporate bully boy antics will not be taken lightly and we will follow up with using the law where applicable against any company that does so threaten in any manner considered to be threatening or breaking the law of decent and professional business practive - besides breaking the law against another offering violence. )  

Too many big business lie and steal from its customers and claim they are within the law, and because we do not know otherwise, they get away with it - when the truth is often very different. Many big business break the law all the time,  bully their customers, lie and cheat and if you want proof - just look at what the banks have done - and yet still take billions in bonuses for screwing the entire financial sector - you and me - into debt.




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