Wednesday April 23 , 2014

John's Blog

'What I say - is responsible, and I am responsible, for saying it.' All views shared here are just my own.


Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 




If you have anything to share with us ,  it will be delightful to share it on these pages.

If however all you want to do is send venimous e mails,  
then please keep your thoughts to yourself as we really can do without them.








If you know a local venue you could put some of our cards in as a promo for us,  do let us know and we can post you out some and a BIG THANKS FOR HELPING US spread the word. 


If you feel your life is in a rut, then remember,  

the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


After 14 years here at Hamilton Hall,  where every decision is mine and I get almost zero input,

I feel I need a new direction here - and your sensible and legal input is welcome.




Did you miss the opportunity to SAVE 50% on your summer weekend or longer vacation at Hamilton Hall this summer ?    It was on offer through this web site for many months and it was only at the very last minute when the special offer was about to end that many took up the opportunity and booked - and if you missed it - tough.  Not only was it on this web site, but it was also promoted by sending out 15,000 e mails - several times as reminders,  and if you STILL missed it, then there really is nothing more I can say.

I do my best to offer you these deals and it is up to you to get your bookings in on time and after that - it is Kleenex time.

I have repeatedly been told off by customers for being far too cheap for our dinners - so the price has gone up this year to £15 for a 2 course dinner.  Considering the quality and siize  oif our portions,  it is still very reasonable and the fact that we all bond together so well during meals around one large table - all together - this 'happening' is fun, full of laughter and a great way to make new friends and not feel isolated if travelling alone.

Very pleased my hands stood up to all the hard work involved, and I am not talking about wanking.  With  help from Warren who did a wonderful job,  we have re decorated all the paintwork in the halls and landings and it was quite a big job.  Determined NOT to do the banistairs - guess who ended up doing them all... yes ... me ... and I was so sure my hands would pack up at the beginning and I would not be able to do bugger all,  but after asking the angels for help, my hands were fine... absolutely fine,  and it soon was all done and clean white and I am thrilled.  Every year we do a great deal of maintenence and this was one job I was not thrilled about doing but thrilled it did get done and big thankyou to Warren.

We have a couple of guys booked in for a week this summer whose home was under 2 feet of water for over a week during this wet and windy winter and they saw my promotion for free holidays to those whose homes were flooded and I am thrilled to be able to show them a little light at the end of th tunnel, for as they have told me, it is a real headache dealing with insurance companies, builders and so forth and nothing - it appears - is being made easy for them.  I am delighted to offer this free period here for them as we cannot even imagine what it must have been like to have floodwater pouring through your beloved home and to have nowhere to go... this is your home - and we shall welcome them with open arms and much admiration for what they have been through.

I have had some local guys con me out of £1,500 this winter for various things for Hamilton Hall that were never forthcoming and while it REALLY got my anger roaring,  I have put it behind me and moved on - wiser - a little saddened at how people can steal and con from others who have precious little ( I am massively overdrawn at the bank and we always struggle financially here )  and I pity those who sunk so low as to steal from me in such a manner.  Karma will catch up with them and when it does, I do so hope they see the error of their ways and the pain it caused.

At last it has come to an end. I hope.
After a year of receiving regular NASTY, VENIMOUS AND HATE FILLED e mails from someone who claimed they wanted me to delete their e mail address from my data base so they would not receive any further promo's from me, but who refused all the time to give me the correct address to search for - so I was unable to delete him as he had requested and so he kept sending offensive e mails in return,  this week I did a great deal of googling and found who he was and was able to find his address and delete him.  

Being screamed at and being called a cunt, a whore, a peado and worse is a nasty thing to read and there were times I could easily have gone to the police because of his obnoxious and threatening behaviour and through it all, I know EXACTLY what this mans problem is - ME.
I have everything he envies.  
A men only naked hotel.
No mortgage.
A really big dick.
Fabulous good looks.
Education. - ( need I go on ?  ha ha ha  )  and despite all the good work, free vacations, thoughtful offerings for no wages at all that I freely offer for nothing in return,  these small minded jealous little men like to throw their own stuff at me and it REALLY hurts me  - as it is always anonymously done - and these cowards are never brave enough to face me...

But now he is deleted and  Colin at can - as far as I am concerned, wait for the kama to catch up with him - for it will - and one day the shit will hit the fan and he will wonder why all hell has broken loose in his life and wonder what he ever did to deserve this.  
His e mails would shock you.  His attitude and anger towards a complete stranger was amazing - truly amazing - especially as he had it in his power all along to offer the correct address to delete and it was not the one he was e mailing me through,  so I can only assume he enjoyed receiving my e mails and used it as an excuse to scream his own personal anguish from life - at me - because I am maybe too good to be true and made him see his own life for what it really is - and I do feel desperately sorry for him.

After I told him I had found his address despite him not offering it and how he was now deleted,  I offered a free weekend with all meals - if he was man enough to accept it - and once again, true to form, he screamed more abuse at me - and coming fom a complete stranger I have never even met,  sends chills down my spine that there are so many mental health issues out there and how some of these people obviously are in need of some kind of medical or theraputic help. 

I move on now and shall put this man and his attiutude behind me and shall soon find the funny side of it - for there always is a funny side, but it does make me wonder why I am such a target for so many fucked up men who like sending me abuse - and from people I have never even met or spoken to.

Are they afraid of me, jealous of me, envious of me, resentful of my stunning good looks and whopping penis - ha ha ha - or are they just venting to anyone they can find ?

Maybe they read my life history on this site and it pissed them off.  Whatever, assholes like this I can do without and if I ever receive e m,ails like it again. I shall go straight to the police as there is no reason and no excuse at all. Period.




this will make you laugh...

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.   She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.    Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
Getting There

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests. 
The Hotel

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self. 
The Restaurant

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you. 
Your Room

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts. 

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers. 
Above All

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.



After 18 months with us here, Kevin is leaving for pastures greener and we wish him well with his onward joiurney.  new beginings for us both.

So we have a vacancy for a FULL TIME - LIVE IN ASSISTANT to help with all aspects of running this friendly and fun venue and you can see more on the page here - 





Drag Queen Panti Bliss's

viral homophobia speech

6 February 2014 Last updated at 22:03 GMT

An impassioned speech by an Irish drag queen about what constitutes homophobia has been viewed more than 300,000 times on YouTube, prompting thousands of comments.

Panti Bliss was already an icon of Ireland's gay scene, but her profile has just rocketed. In a speech at the Abbey Theatre in Dublin at the weekend, Panti spoke of the "oppression" she feels as a gay person living in Ireland - including her own sense of internalised oppression.

Filmed by Conor Horgan





an amazing lyric and video about gay love


The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

This amazing video of 4 black swans surfing the tide 



When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


to view his new interview on youtube.




It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.








Learned a lot from a disabled young man who was here this week. Only aged 36 and with various disabilities,  he was so up beat and so ' happy clappy' as he put it,  it really made me stop and think.  Here I am worrying about this and that - an assortment of things going through my mind worrying me - and here is this young man with a limited lifespan all cheerful and happy,  and it did make me stop and take stock.  At the end of the day,  if the gas bill is massive - it will get paid... and I will survive to see another winter and another decade and a long life, whereas here was this cheerful man probably facing a few more years and then ....  and his cheerful manner was a lesson - a big lesson - about what is important.


I hope you will check out the Diary of Events and come to our Sci Fi Weekend.  I am so excited and the bookings have already started coming in.  Should be great fun








Uganda Passes the

Anti-Homosexuality Bill:

Here’s What You Can Do About It

Read more:




This is so sweet, a dog who discovers he doesn't have to swim




This is from Trip Advisor



Dear John

Geoff and I visisted Hamilton Hall many times over the years and you will remember how we hated leaving at the end of the various periods with you,  and always looked forward to the next visit.  Geoff died recently as he had been ill for some time  and knew for the last few years that he was terminal and while we kept this to ourselves,  we were determined to make his last year or so memorable.  

He loved his stays with you and the way you made us laugh.  He loved the dinners around the table together and how you kept the conversation going. He always laughed and smiled when we spoke of you at home and when something happened that reminded us of you, he would say  ' Oh that's a John Bellamy that is ...'  

Geoff was 66 years of age and I will miss him dearly and know,  that at the moment, I cannot return to Hamilton Hall as it has too many memories for me.  One day in a year or so I shall see you again but the memories are still too close and I need some space to find my journey alone and without Geoff ( we were together for 18 years )  and see where my future takes me.

I thank you John for what you have given so freely - the love and support for so many people through Hamilton Hall and know that a lot of happy memories that died with Geoff are now joined with a higher power - and that one day I shall also be re joining Geoff on that journey, but before then I wanted to say thank you for everything.  




Tony Bray died just before Christmas, and I shall miss him.  He was a good and dear friend who visited and loved Hamilton Hall and would sit in the Conservatory meeting and greeting people as they came and went and everyone loved his peaceful and charming manner.  He was 79 years of age and a real sweetheart.    He will be missed, dearly missed.



STASH THE CASH.  I can recommend you click on the logo to the left and watch this youtube video if you have extra cash you want to hide from the government and tax man,  as this will tell you how to legally 'wash' your money and make it clean.  So if you are a drug dealer, run illegal immigrants / women or maybe sell illegal arms,  this 'STASH THE CASH' will help.  Naturally, I am joking... but when you think of the billions stolen by the banks and no one is paying for it - and billions stolen by big business and they are given tax incentives to do so, and when you consider IKEA is a charity and does not pay tax - why is the government so hot on tracking down us - the small man, if and when we fiddle a few £ in unpaid taxes when BILLIONS are given away TAX FREE to corporate power by our government and nothing - NOTHING - is done about it .










If you want a few days in Barcelona and do not know where to stay, take a look at this web site  -  BARCELONA APARTMENT  which is owned by a friend of mine and is his really lovely apartment right in the heart of the city yet in a quiet location.  Ten mimutes walk from almost anywhere in the city,  it is well worth considering rather than an anonymous hotel.   He is a George Clooney look-a-like and a very nice man and you will certainly get very good value for money and know that your hard earned cash is not going to some corporate hotel but to an individual.  

Errol, the owner, is also a very fine yoga teacher and artist.    







Take a look HERE






Every penny raised goes to help the many people we help with food, company, a week or  weekend away, counseling, and even sometimes helping with clothes. In one case we bought a homeless student a bike to get to college on,  and in another , a guitar and lessons to play for a local lad whose life was aimless and he was stoned on drugs all day and all night and we are today, guiding him into making  a life for himself - get his act together - and have some order in his empty life.  We do what we do for absolutely no reason other than 

This web site makes some useful suggestions to HOW TO COPE WITH HOMOPHOBIC FAMILIES




So - If you know some guys who 




The hate preacher who has created many storms over his GOD HATES FAGS campaign through his Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, USA is dying of ill health at 84 years of age. 

Fred Phelps had been excommunicated from the Christian sect which picketed the funeral of US soldiers holding up signs saying ' THANK GOD FOR IED's and THANK GOD FOR 911' and even ' THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS' claiming the deaths were God's punnishment for Americas immorality and tolerance of homosexuality and abortion.

He is better known in gay circles for his GOD HATES FAGS campaign, even though one of his 13 children, ran away from home when he was just 18 ( now believed to be in his 50's ) and has lived in Canada promoting LGBT rights.  ( Bet that went down well with Daddy Dearest...)

Westboro Baptist, a small group made mostly of Phelps’ extended family, inspired a federal law and laws in numerous states limiting picketing at funerals. But in a major free-speech ruling in 2011, the U.S. Supreme Court held that the church and its members couldn’t be sued for monetary damages for inflicting pain on grieving families under the First Amendment.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil-rights nonprofit group, has called Westboro Baptist Church a hate group.

Nate Phelps, an estranged son of Fred Phelps, also said in an email to The Topeka Capital-Journal that members of Westboro have voted Fred Phelps out of the church.

Nate Phelps, who broke away from the church 37 years ago, told the newspaper that church members became concerned after the vote that his father might harm himself and moved him out of the church, where he and his wife had lived for years. Fred Phelps was moved into a house, where he “basically stopped eating and drinking,” Nate Phelps said.

A Kansas gay rights group on Sunday urged the gay community to respect the privacy of the “notoriously anti-LGBT” pastor if his health is declining.

Phelps and the members of his church have “harassed” the grieving families of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Kansans and others, Thomas Witt, executive director of Equality Kansas, said in a prepared statement.

I watched a couple of TV documentaries on this man and the abuse and horrendous treatment screamed by him and his family at those bereaved and attending funerals was horrific and cruel and I am not unhappy that this man is dying at all.   Brainwashing his family members to be bigoted in this fashion is surely as wrong as teaching your children that murder is okay - or rape - and it is good to see that at least one of his children escaped and now works for the rights of the LGBT community.  Coming from the background and family he does,  it must have been hard.

I am always curious why some people make it such a campaign to go up against gay people as if we were an abomination and a sin from God even though the Bible DOES NOT STATE THIS AT ALL and there are more concerns in the Bible concernign straight sex than there ever are for gay sex and the word gay or even homosexual never existed in the original biblical texts - at all - no mention - zero - nada - and anyone claiming it does is a liar.  It dos statre that having sexual relations with any family member is an abomination and even eating crap, lobster, rabbit and pork are an abomination,  and yet they merrily ignore this while screaming about gays.    Limiting what you choose to believe - or not - in the Bible is not a belief structure,  it is a choice, and if you choose to read and follow only a part of anything,    then you will be wrong.  

If you lived your life acccording to the Harry Potter books but only read book one and three, then you would not have the whole picture.  If you decide that certain parts of the Bible are not meant for you and decide to ignore it, then you are limiting the truth - the whole truth and nothing but the truth ( acording to this massively edited book ) and this is not going to teach you a rounded and complete version of what it is trying to tell you.  

I doubt this man and his weird family will not be missed and I hope and pray this church of his - this evil and obnoxious disgrace for a religious belief structure, will now die as quickly as this old man will when he takes his last breath and passes into history - a part of history that need never be repeated.

GOOD NEWS:  This old bastard is now dead.  Not a great loss to humanity although I feel for his family who must now feel a great void...  although they will probably think it was the gays who killed him.... For many,  it will be a time of celebration that the old hate filled asshole is dead.

I am sure there are many who will hope he rots in hell

for what he has done.

and I am sure even God is digusted at this vile little man and what he has done in His / Her name.


As a spiritual man, I try and see the good in everyone, the love and the care we all hold inside.  Sadly there are a few people we meet that we do wonder who on God's Earth could possibly love them, care for them and want to befriend them,  and I am sure there were people who loved and adored Hitler,  as there are this Fred Phelps.  

Maybe he was a good Father - a caring man who did good work other than this campaign of hate and fear he presided over and the families of dead soldiers and gay men who had to face his bogotry at the funeral of their loved ones and had to cope with that at the worst time in their lives.  Maybe he meant well and was just trying to help the family see the light - the truth - or maybe he was suffering some kind of mental health problem that made him deranged and no one had the guts to stand up to him - and he just went from bad to worse.  

Maybe his biggest fear was that he really was gay and the fear turned him mad. There are many maybe's and many excuses to be made and I hope he finds some answers when he comes face to face with God and that S/He shows him the error of his ways and finds forgiveness from those he abused.






Hamilton Hall is not part of the Brahma Kumaris - I love their work and what they offer and have

always helped promote the wonderful work they do.
If I had more free time, I would certainly visit their events all the time.









US Secretary of State, John Kerry representing a country which makes Genghis Khan look like a wimp when it comes to illegal invasions, still retains the prize for jaw dropper of the decade:

"You just don't, in the 21st century, behave in 19th century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped up pretext", he pontificated on CBS' "Face the Nation." 

It really is enough to take your breath away,- the gall of this idiot.  Does he assume we are all idiots ?



President Obama spoke in Brussels on Wednesday on the Russia-Ukraine situation. At one point, in seeking to shame Russia for its actions, Mr. Obama actually went so far as to try and legitimize America's catastrophic actions in Iraq, so as not to appear hypocritical in his comments. His words:

"Moreover, Russia has pointed to America's decision to go into Iraq as an example of Western hypocrisy… But even in Iraq, America sought to work within the international system. We did not claim or annex Iraq's territory. We did not grab its resources for our own gain. Instead, we ended our war and left Iraq to its people and a fully sovereign Iraqi state that could make decisions about its own future."

Facts: America ran roughshod over the international community to get that war going. If an invasion and ten-year occupation isn't annexation, then nothing is. Companies like Halliburton/KBR absolutely grabbed Iraq's resources, because their oil was supposed to "pay for the war," and there were gas lines in Iraq for years after the invasion, because those companies sat on that oil like it was their own private piggy bank… which it was, as it turns out. And as for the state we left Iraq in, thousands upon thousands of people have been killed in the sectarian strife left in our wake. They aren't making decisions about their future. They're running for their lives.

That this president dared to attempt to paper over the horrific smash-and-grab war crime that was America's invasion of Iraq is not merely disgusting; it is dangerous in the extreme, because we are doomed to repeat what we allow ourselves to forget.




I have been well and truly fucked

for doing good deeds for others

When you help others out of a bad spot and all they 

do is abuse you in return,

 it seems to always end badly for the kind hearted

who was simply trying to do

'the decent thing.'

by John Bellamy


I have been screwed out of over £1,000 this winter by local gay men who were going to do business for me ( new double glazing etc ) and they have all walked off with my money and I am truly struggling financially.  It really dissapoints when this happens as in two cases of loss, I was trying to do the decent thing and help these guys when they needed the business and it ends with them stealing my money.

What does one have to do ?  You do the right thing and get fucked over.  You turn them away and say no - sort yourself out - and you get damnation for being unspiritual and treated as scum because you would not help them.  What makes it worse is that one of these guys I have helped feed,  given food parcels to and generally tried to help him and this week - some would say it is my own fault,  I have once again - FOR THE SECOND TIME - been screwed out of £400 which I desperately do not have - by the same guy I tried to help before and who screwed me and one wonders - when the hell will I learn and stop being such an easy touch.   So that is now £1,350 I have lost at a time when I am really struggling financially and it makes me madder than hell.    I partly blame myself,  but also blame those who deliberately screwed me knowingly - even though they know I am a good man with the best of intentions and I hope and pray that karma comes soon and grabs them by the balls and they see the error of their ways and repent ( too biblical sounding perhaps ... )  or else I have much darker pictures in my head of what I would like to see happen to them and I choose not to entertain those thoughts but I am - deeply - 
DEEPLY - upset and hurt yet again and at a big financial loss through trying to help others who are less fortunate than myself. So that's it., No more helping others, No more Mr. Nice Guy as I am truly - sobbingly pissed off and broke broke broke and while I am trying to control my anger, I am angry. I AM ANGRY and I am pissed off.  

To day I also received a couple of abusive e mails - once again - from people who asked to be on my mailing list in both cases several years ago,  and now turn really abusive and bitchy rather than simply ask to be removed from my data base - and I really do not understand the fucked up attitude of some people who then throw their stuff in my face and scream abuse at me.  These are also people I have never even met.

It makes me sick and tired of dealing with the public when so many people who seem to have some kind of mental health issues choose to take it out on innocent people who are trying, in whatever way possible, to do the right thing.

So no more helping others. If you want something - you pay up front - handsomely - as my time is money and my time is precious to me and enough of being fucked over for being a kind and thoughtful man.  Enough.




This e mail below was anonymously placed on Trip Advisor (TA) - which absolutely astounded me that TA allowed such material to be posted on their site and that they did nothing about it until I complained - and obviopsly I have no idea who this is other than his name on TA was TOM H and as I have no Tom H booked into Hamilton Hall in December - when he claims to have stayed - so I do not know who he is. Have a read and see what you think, and see how some bitter and twisted people behave and what some of us have to put up with when this is the kind of response - ANONYMOUSLY DONE - some people get great joy out of throwing their  shit at others.

When I first read it I was stunned, and then I re read it and laughed my head off as it is just so silly - and while I may be considered pushy - as I do not take fools lightly and not everyone like me, but then, when you are in the public eye it is easy for people like this to take cheap pops at me and my venue while being cowardly and hide their identity behind a fake name and behind their computer screens.  Claiming as he does that Hamilton Hall is an apartment with only one bathroom is just weird.  He is also a coward that he cannot face me with his concerns and talk face to face and we all know why he has to hide behind his computer - because he is precisely that - a coward who cannot face me... period. He is not man enough.  

Here is his e mail below:-



A very basic guest house, dark and smelly from the dog - in no other hotel dogs have access to all public rooms including dining room - just disgusting !

You have to share the small bathroom with all other mostly very old and not so clean guests, and the owner'sC
attitude is very dominating all the time, you always have the feeling, that you do something wrong, because he controlls his guest's behave all the time. Hamilton Hall is not a hotel, it is a tiny private apartment with several rooms - that's it. He offers different sexual themed weekends, like wanking-weekends and so on, but he ask you to for no attitude, this means, you have to be ready to play with old and fat man, if not, you have to leave, because you have not the right attitude in the owner's eyes.....All the picturers on his website are just fiction. The majority of his customers are around 60-70 years old, massive overweighted and mosty smelly. And he expect "lip service" during a wanking-weekend, this is compleetely off topic, when the theme is mutual wanking. Think about all this before you make an reservation and read thre owners's comments from other customers experiences..... In all other hotels worldwide, you credit card will be charged during your checkout - he debit your creditcard before you arrive - so strange !!


John Comments:  

I have had
scores of supportive e mails from you guys commenting on the mental health and silliness of this guys e mail and how his lies are so childish.  Many of you have shared your thoughts and your dreams about Hammy Hall and what it means to you and offering support.  It is greatly appreciated and I think we all know how there is a ton of mental health issues in the gay community and some, like this Tom H. sees fit to throw his atitude at others because - obviously - he didn't get everything to his satisfaction.  Oh poor lovie... I hope he learns to grow up and smell the shit he is shoveling and that when Karma comes and hits him in the face,  it will be all of his own making.

I do feel desperately sorry for this man as he will go through life being constantly disappointed and let down if he expects everyone and everything to come up to his view of life, death and the universe;-   and chances are he is a shallow, insecure man with few friends and this might have something to do with why he has such a bad attitude and view of things.  

In order to slag me off he has had to reduce himself to telling blatant lies about my venue which are just laughable and actually quite pathetic.

How sad that he is not man enough to be truthful and honest and he reduces his mentality to that of a child having to fight dirty with lies and this dishonours him.  

He has proven for us all that he is definately unworthy of any care and attention from us and I shall not be offering him a free weekend so we can chat and sort out his problems, as when the chips are down;-  in his case;-  
I don't care , it simply is not worthy of my time and efforts. 

John Bellamy




'We have all been in abusive relationships, and sometimes we were the one being abused.'

Marianne Williams












You have heard me talk here about my next door neighbour - the straight man who is 6'7" - handsome and bearded and hung like a horse ( don't ask how I know - I just do... ha ha  ) and yes, he is straight and while we have a joke and a laugh together and we have seen each other naked on a few occasions back in the summer,  I do not - ever - cross those boundaries and never would. We are friends and while tongues waggle and gossip spreads,  we are friends and nothing more.

Anyway, he was a really useful friend to have right next door as he is an electrician and brilliant handy man to have around -  and as Hammy hall is always in need of some minor something being done - and he was clever on computers as well... it was a deliught :-   and he has moved to Spain to see what opportunities open up for him over there, and I send my very best wishes and hope everything goes well for him.

England can be such a hard country to live in and although we have had a very mild winter, it has been very grey and wet - as you all know - and business is down and everyone seems to be saving their money and even his electrical work seemed to dry up over here whereas in Spain it seems there is a ton of work for him within the Ex Pat community ( an English speaking electrician ... worth his weight in gold  ) and I wish him well.

Some people locally have found fault and said he won't last 3 months and my answer is to stop being so negative - stop being so half empty - and offer some support.  Good luck to him - I hope and pray he makes a huge sucess in Spain and finds himself.  

I always state that if it does go belly up and he needs to return here,  he is always welcome to stay here as my friend for free until he gets the tennants out of his flat and if that takes 6 months,  it's not a problem.  Having that lifeline is always a good thing to have available,   as if things do go wrong abroad, so many people stick with it and then drown in unhappiness and debt - being afraid to go home with their tail between their legs - rather than head held high for trying.

I wish him well and when he has that massive villa with sun terrace and huge pool,  I shall go out and take a free holiday and some R&R.

Good luck Chris, my prayers are with you.






So - remind me once again, what is it that these guys above are guilty of - oh I remember -

sharing the truth of what our governments are up to that they want kept hidden for fear

the people will rise up in absolute horror at what they have been up to and kick them

out of power and make a lot of changes - perhaps.  

So, it seems the government has more to hide from the people than they care to let on.  

I wonder why ?



Had a couple of guests stay recently who worked as geologist with a ' BIG PETROLEUM' company ( hint ) and when I asked them about Fracking they both said much the same thing,   that it was not environmentally a good idea as the concept of high pressure water and chemicals being pumped underground was unknown and the damage these chemicals were / would / could do to the water table, the environment was dangerous and unknown and could cause earth quakes and it could be very dangerous to human and animal health.   There simply was no evidence to claim it is safe whereas the common sense about the dangers is clear.

This coming from professionals who work in the field  , travelling the world working in the oil and gas industry for over 50 years between them.

Interesting that two very seperate geologists both said much the same thing.




It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these 
awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could~get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most
outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that
make youscratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.


Our new advert in Gay Times.  Have you seen it yet ? 


Here are the Stella's for year 2013...


Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son


Start scratching! 


Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. 

Scratch some more... 



Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just  burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house >locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.


We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more ... Double hand scratching after this one ... 


Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.  

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot ...



Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia  restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


Only two more so ease up on the scratching ...


Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby  city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two  front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room  window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to  pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.


Ok. Here we go!! 


This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of  
Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.  On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway,  she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the  back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor  home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski  sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually  leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded  her, are you sitting down? 

$1,750,000PLUS a new motor home.Winnebago actually changed their  manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might  also buy a motor home.


ADBOLUTE MADNESS. Where is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY - andwhere is the protection for the people who do what they can to prevent being sued - ie: the dog was chained up behind a high fence in the mans own yard - and the idiot climbed OVER the fence to shoot the dog and HOW ON GOD'S EARTH CAN THE DOG OWNER BE HELD LIABLE FOR A THIEF / VANDAL / DOG ABUSER - 

Taking this to its end.  If someone broke into Hamilton Hall while we were empty and I was aslppe upstairs and completely unaware thgat he was breaking in - and he cut himself on the broken woindor he smashed to gain access,  he can sue me for damages and emotional trauma... rather than him being prosecuted for attempted larceny and made to pay for all damaged done to my property...  It seems, the innocent are the guilty and the guilty are reqarded through the courts to the tune of millions of £ and $ a year.







'a prediction'

The USA wants civil unrest. Through police brutality, airport security abuse, local governmnent, corporate abuse major financial abuse through the banks & politicians,  the government is driving the innocent people to stand up for change and to take to the streets and to cause civil unrest because of the unwarranted abuse dished out to them from the authorities and this is exactly what the authorities want. They want to then spin this into terrorism and to put the constitution aside and with martial law, take control of the country and marshall all the trouble makers, - the grannies and children, the ordinary innocent men and women, who are just sick of the abuse of government, into Re Education Centres ( 800 FEMA Camps are already open and ready for business ) and this will allow the governments and Corporate / Banking America to plunder and steal - using us to police ourselves as in the Concentration Camps of WW2.  The government will then sanction mass killing and mass domination of the mind, body and soul of the population with re education.  

It has already started.
The FEMA Camps are there and open
Plans have already had 2 rehearsals by th US Government


The government doesn't give a fuck.
It's about control. power and wealth.









John's comments on whistleblowers

I have huge amounts of respect for these guys and any others who reveal the truth - the awful truth, about what our governments and corporations are doing around the world and the wrong doing and illegal acts, the murder and mayhem caused by their actions, and when exposed, they turn on the whistleblower and use all sorts of spin and lies and misinformation to damn and destroy in the face of the public,  the very person who is trying to expose these outragous acts that we - the public - would / are outraged about;-   when it is the government who should be hiding its head in utter and complete shame.

Good for these guys and I sincerely hope Edward Snowden gets away from the US trying to track him down and that Bradley Manning gets his action heard by the masses and gets the correct reward he deserves and not the outragous and disgusting treatment the USA has metred out to him so far.

A democracy - when talking about the United States of America, this is not a word we think of.  This nation of bullies, even of its own people, will kill, murder, destroy and plunder anyone and anything to get exactly what it wants and it thinks NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT MURDERING ITS OWN PEOPLE - INNOCENT PEOPLE and hunt those it claims are guilty of espionage even when the wrong doing is at the hands of the government and NOT the whistleblower who simply told the world what is going on behind their backs.

My door will always be open for them.

John Bellamy





Remember who 'YOU' are©

By Christopher Charles

(One of my neighbours here at Hamilton Hall)

"Have you ever though there might be more to life?
Have you ever thought of the trouble and strife?
Have you ever thought you don't need a wife?
in this system that tells YOU what is right.

Have you ever thought that black could be white
Have you ever wanted dark to be light
Have you ever wished that wrong was right
to stop the arguing and end the fight.

Well yes.....guess what..? You're not alone
cos a mate'o'mine just heard on the phone
that an awakening is happening on this planet...your home.
Its such a good reason to have a moan

So put pen to paper and air your views
make a banner and get on the news,
have regular meetings...invite your crews
for this is the know what to do

For this has been predicted through space and time
that the people will end up...not towing the line
and without the state...we'll be just fine
from the 1% and their hidden crimes.

The banks are corrupt
The leaders out of touch
The BBC is weird
and the planets burning up.

So we vote a change...cos we think it matters
we get a different group of mad hatters
or ask for new laws to cover the doors
of the apparent cause,  to all the flaws
The government will not like us
on the streets with loud hailers and banners
we shout "make some new laws for these cheating scammers"
but we don't realise we are voting for laws that will hit us as a row of angry hammers.

'Cos we all want change...but asking's not right
We must spread our wings if we really want flight
and not get caught up in their two party fight
Make up your own mind...don't believe the hype

You cant stop wars by bombing for peace
That's like trying to fuck for virginity at least
and when we ask for laws on hateful speech
we take away the freedom of each

So stop being offended of what people say
Its only because YOU hear it that way
Sticks and stones and come what may
Support freedom of speech everyday

So how do we make a new world for the better
I'll tell ya....I'll go through it letter for letter

Turn off your tellys and put on your wellies
'cos growing your own food is where its at.

Remove the fluoride from your diet
Its only there to keep you quiet

Get to know your neighbours and others around
and you'll soon find ...they're all quite sound.

Recognise the difference between statute and law
and the word means much more.

For the acts are not real...they come from the sea
they were not meant for you and me.
It's all maritime's corporate rules
and I'm sorry to say ...we have all been fooled.
There are very few laws for women and men
no damage...that's them
It's just a game...the game of life
you count yourself in when you use the dice,
and the dice is your name........
I'm watching you frown
For your names property of the Crown

Remember who you are."

© Hamilton Hall Promotions / Christopher Charles  CT13012013


Withholding information from people should be a crime. We believe is sharing knowledge and wisdoms freely, and if anything on this web site has been used without permission, then our apologies. Please inform us and if you wish, it will be removed.  We do not make money from this web site and is part of a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE of Hamilton Hall.

The poem above was written by Christopher Charles  and you are welcome to re print and re use it and please always give a credit to the author and to this web site.  If we find you are making a profit from it or stealing its content for other financial gain and taking the worthy praise that Christopher Charles  - in my opinion, deserves for this brilliant piece, then we will seek legal action.

John Bellamy





If you loose part of this page - CLICK HERE





and learn all about INDECT

and watch the 6 minute video to the very end





It all sounds so innocent and so ' for your benefit'

but the sad truth
is so very dangerous and different

to what they claim

It states that this could be sold to companies and corporate bodies

who have absolutely no right, as far as I am concerned,

spying on people. That is not for national security -

that is not for the protection of the masses -

that is all about control.








Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 



If you loose part of this page - CLICK HERE






ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits & troublemakers, all you free-spirits & pioneers...
Everything the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you...

A friend showed me this last night and I was awe struck by the power and the meaning in the words. 

Watch the video here - but most important -


It speaks to the heart of all those Light Workers
and those working for a higher cause -

Those who know there IS a Higher Cause
and those seekers of the TRUTH.

Go here:
Get it on iTunes:
Friend us at
Follow the creator on
Friend him on Facebook: HERE





I found this the most powerful piece I think I have ever heard and it moved me deeply.
I urge you to listen with your eyes shut - ignore the video for the first hearing, and just throw yourself into the message

Thanks to Chris who introduced me to this



Here are the words below :-
 By Garret John LoPorto on September 22, 2010



ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits and troublemakers -

all you free spirits and pioneers - all you visionaries and non-conformists

Everything that the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you.

You see things others don't. You are hardwired to change the world. Unlike 9 out of 10 people - your mind is irrepressible - and this threatens authority. You were born to be a revolutionary.

You can't stand rules because in your heart you know there's a better way.

You have strengths dangerous to the establishment - and it wants them eliminated, So your whole life you've been told your strengths were weaknesses - Now I'm telling you otherwise.

Your impulsivity is a gift - impulses are your key to the miraculous,

Your distractibility - is an artifact of your inspired creativity,

Your mood swings - reflect the natural pulse of life, they give you unstoppable energy when you're high and deep soulful insight when you're low,

Been diagnosed with a "disorder"? That's society's latest way to deny it's own illness by pointing the finger at you.


Your addictive personality is just a symptom of your vast underused capacity for heroic, creative expression and spiritual connection. your utter lack of repression, your wide eyed idealism, your unmitigated open mind - didn't anyone ever tell you?!

These are the traits shared by the greatest pioneers and visionaries and innovators, revolutionaries, procrastinators and drama queens, activists on the social scene, space cadets and mavericks, philosophers and derelicts, business suits flying fighter jets, football stars and sex addicts, celebrities with ADD, alcoholics who seek novelty, first responders - prophets and saints, mystics and change agents.

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -
You know in your heart that there's a natural order to life,
something more sovereign than any man-made rules or laws could ever express

This natural order is called "the Way."


The Way is the eternal substrate of the cosmos. It guides the very current of time and space. The Way is known by some as the Will of God, Divine Providence, the Holy Spirit, the implicate order, the Tao, reverse-entropy, life-force, but for now we'll simply call it "the Way."

The Way is reflected in you as the source of your inspiration, the source of your passions, your wisdom, your enthusiasm, your intuition, your spiritual fire - love.

The Way takes the chaos out of the Universe and breathes life into it by reflecting divine order. The Way, when experienced by the mind, is genius, when perceived through the eyes is beauty, when felt with the senses is grace, when allowed into the heart ... is love.

Most people cannot sense the Way directly. ... But then there are the Wayseers. The keepers of the flame. Wayseers have an unexplainable knack for just knowing the Way.
They sense it in their very being. They can't tell you why or how they arrived at the right answer. They just know it in their core. They can't show their work. So don't ask. Their minds simply resonate with the Way. When the Way is present, so are they.

While others are blind to it, and society begs you to ignore it, "the Way" stirs you inside. Neurological repression blocks most people's awareness of the Way - censoring all thoughts and impulses from the unconscious is their prefrontal cortex - the gestapo of the brain -  nothing which violates its socialized programming even gets through; but your mind is different. your mind has been cracked wide open to the Way - by some miraculous genetic trait, some psychotropic chemical or maybe even by the will of your very soul, your brain's reward pathways have been hijacked - dopamine employed to overthrow the fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex - now your brain is free of repression, your mind free of censorship, your awareness exposed to the turbulent seas of the unconscious - through this open doorway divine light shines into your consciousness showing you the Way. This is what makes you a Wayseer.

90% of human civilization is populated with those who's brains are blocked to the Way.  Their brains are hardwired to enforce the social programming indoctrinated since birth.
Unlike you they cannot break out of this programming, because they have not yet experienced the necessary revolution of mind. These programmed people take social institutions and rules very seriously. Society is full of games programmed to keep peoples' minds occupied so they will not revolt.

These games often cause sick fixations on peculiar protocols, power structures, taboos and domination - all subtle forms of human bondage - This distinct form of madness is not only tolerated by the masses but insisted upon. The programmed ones believe in rules so forcefully they become willing to destroy anyone who violates them.

Wayseers are the ones who call their bluff.  Since Wayseer minds are free to reject social programming, Wayseers readily see social institutions for what they are - imaginary games.  
Wayseers comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.
Helping those who are lost in these games and refuse to help themselves is a calling of many Wayseers.

Since Wayseers are the ones who keep contact with the original source of reality - they are able to disrupt societal conventions and even governments to realign humanity with the Way.

The Wayseers are an ancient lineage. A kind of priesthood - carriers of the flame - ones "in the know."  There must always be Wayseers to reform the dizzying psychotic spinning gears of society - giant mindless hamster wheels obscuring the pure blue sky, keeping humanity shackled in a darkened cage - so Wayseers are called - to shed light on the madness of society - to continually resurrect the timeless transcendent Spirit of Truth -

Wayseers reveal this divine truth by devoting themselves to the birth of some creative or disruptive act expressed through art or philosophy, innovations to shake up industry, revolutions for democracy, coups that topple hypocrisy, movements of solidarity, changes that leave a legacy, rebellions against policy, spirit infused technology, moments of clarity, things that challenge barbarity, watersheds of sincerity, momentous drives for charity

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -

This is your calling, Wayseer

You've found your tribe.

Welcome home.





andy pryor

Died Sunday August 19th 2012 - aged, I think 43.

and you know what,  I don't think I have a picture of him - after a computer crash a few years ago where thousands of photos were lost, and now all I have is my memory - that picture in my head.

I first met Andy when he joined a group I was runnning called 'The Gay Spiritual Group' in London, and this would be around 1996-97. He was instantly a keen member  and quickly  joined the committee to help with the running of the group.  Once a month we hosted a Social  and would get anything up to 65 members in my London home and a really good spiritual evening would be had,  relaxed and informal,  with people just talking and laughing,   and at around 9pm I would introduce a speaker for 30 minutes or so, and one of these evenings,  Andy wanted to give a talk about an  experience he had recently had.
He was really nervous and with a little encouragement from me - he stood and introduced himself and gave a wonderful, lighthearted account of a recent trip to Egypt that had changed his life,  and it was a really lovely thing to be a part of and to hear this London cockney lad - offering such a  gentle story. 

For Andy was a little Tough Ted... an east end lad you might not - at one time - have trusted  with your wallet or car keys - as he had been a cheeky little rascall when he was a teenager and in private he would tell me some of the things he had got up to in the past which while illegal,   did make you smile broadly and laugh out loud... and while you felt for the victim who had had their car stolen - or whatever - it was never meant to be malicious or evil,  it was just lads messing about,  and we would laugh.  But all that was years behind him and he donated a great deal of his time to helping others, through voluntary charity work and in his private life as well,  and he was a very thoughtful and kind, considerate and loving man.

When I moved to Hamilton Hall he would come down and help us paint and decorate - or more often - he would actually bring a friend with him who he paid to do the work for him as his disabilities through various illnesses brought about through his HIV made it difficult for him to do some things physically,  and he was thrilled every time to be able to offer something and happy to be a part of Hamilton Hall, and I was very pleased to have him part of my life.

I remember one long hot summer, maybe around 2004 - he was down for a couple of weeks with his dog - a Doberman named Scooby ( naturally )  and we would sit in the garden until late at night with candles lit all over the place and just chill out and laugh and share stories from our past - as we actually had a lot in common - and these are happy memories.  His cheecky chappy grin and laugh won him many friends here and one elderly friend fell madly in love with him;- in a really nice and sweet way - and every time I mentioned Andy to him he would smile broadly and laugh...

I knew his health was up and down over the years and I would always be inviting him down for a free stay and more often than not, he would either come down or be too busy at home,  and all of a sudden he has having problems with his bowels and had already had an operation giving him a temporary colostomy and when he visited he was so up, so cheerful and so positive, he was such an inspiration even though I think he was going through a great deal. 

During a trip to Egypt where the pain became so great he increased his pain medication, he decided upon return to just tell the doctors to take his bowel right out and give him a full colostomy as he could not live with the pain and it was obviously not getting any better,  and this was done almost immediately.  He laughed about not needing to douch any more and was so positive all through it.  But it seems things went from bad to worst and although he was always up-beat when I phoned,  he eventually moved into a hospice - he said for pain management - but within a couple of weeks his phone was switched off and he had died.  A few days later his sister called and told me the news and as soon as she said she was Andy's sister, I knew - for I had had to go through my own sisters phone book years ago after her death - phoning people and telling them - and I just knew.  Instantly my tummy did a flip,  my heart missed a beat and a tear came to my eye.  Poor Andy, I wish he'd let me know how ill he was, I would have visited him in the hospice,  but I think he didn't want a fuss - didn't want people to see him in those last days and wanted us to remember him as he was,  and he left this world peacefully and as he had lived it , on his own terms.

He also chose not to have a funeral service of any kind,  and the family were to be told - after the fact - that he had been cremated by the funeral company after it was all over.  Some would have a hard time with this - as saying your final farewell in front of a coffin is traditional and what we all expect,  but not when it causes such grief for people.  Andy hated fuss,  and so chose to leave this life as quietly as he could and leave happy memories and not grief in his wake.  

No flowers.

No hymns. 
No getting to the place on time and having to wear something black - which he would have hated and no
eulogy describing his life in nine minutes.

I was upstairs late last night with a friend and Andy and I had always shared a cigarette or two together and evenings just talking and laughing,  so I did just that with Matt who works here and we shared a few smokes,  talked about loads of things including Andy - and just had one of those evenings where we were giggling like school girls...  and all the while aware of Andy and how he would have loved to be with us one last time,  and bless him. 

Getting older for me is fun,  I see so much of other older people in myself as I come closer to my 60's - people who are older than I am and now I am catching them up,  and the one sadness is remembering all the sweet people whose lives have come to an end so much younger and so much sooner,  and it makes me sad.  I know there are always new friends to meet,  new faces to  laugh with and new evenings to share a smoke and a giggle and I give thanks for the ever changing aspect of my daily life and the wonderous way it moves through the years,  and there are times I remember back and see a face in my minds eye - of Andy - or someone else I held dear but probably never got the chance to really tell them how important they were to me,  and I try harder with my 'today friends' to let them know how much I care and love them, and as fast and as busy as my days are,  I always remember and keep their memory alive within my mind, my body and my soul and in this,  they are still with me.  Still alive and still making me smile.   For I don't ever want to forget.

Bless you Andy.

This is a piece of music he enjoyed and is to be played in the chapel.  CLICK HERE





Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 




The EU is trying to control the saving, swapping and sowing of seeds, by introducing the “Regulation on the Marketing of Plant Reproductive Material”. Small farmers and gardeners all over Europe could be coerced into giving up their age old practice of saving seed, and be forced to buy EU approved and patented seed each year.

If allowed to pass the “Plant Reproductive Material Law” it will be illegal to grow, reproduce, or trade any vegetable seed or tree that has not been tested and approved by the EU Plant Variety Agency. The new law basically puts the government in charge of all plants and seeds in Europe, and prevents home gardeners from growing their own plants from non-regulated seeds. If they did, they would now be considered criminals.

The Real Seed Catalogue has warned about this tyrannical law and the business interests behind it. They say that under this bad law, “It costs nearly £3000 to test & register just one single variety of seed for sale“:

This law will immediately stop the professional development of vegetable varieties for home gardeners, organic growers and small scale market farmers. Home gardeners have really different needs – for example they grow by hand, not machine, and can’t or don’t want to use such powerful chemical sprays. 

There’s no way to register the varieties suitable for home use as they don’t meet the strict criteria of the Plant Variety Agency, which is only concerned about approving the sort of seed used by industrial farmers.

Please contact your MEP and tell them what you think.

The next European election will be on the 22nd May 2014.

Comment by JB
I have written to all the MEP's that are current for my area and told them I hope they will vote against this madness as that is exactly what this is - absolute madness - and if nothing else - it is enough to make me want to leave the EU.








Last night, a guest had not arrived at the time we had been advised (between 7 and 8pm ) and the phone number I had  for him was obviously incorrect as it would not connect, ) so as he had not phond, I eventually went to bed and forgot all about him.  
At 1.50am the door bell rang and rang and rang and it was him,  hardly apologetic at all and kept saying he got lost. I asked where he had come from - Manchester - which is such an easy journey to Bournemouth, and I bluntly asked why he had not thought to phone enroute if he was lost and he just said he was driving - and when  I mentioned he could have pulled over and rang me he just said nothing, and I was displeased.  No apology just an excuse.

So I showed him to the dorm  ( the cheapest room in the house which he had booked  and luckily there was no one else in there to disturb at that time )  and left him - and I offered no small talk or chit chat at all.

This irritated me as I then couldn't get back to sleep - but did so and 2 hours later, while asleep on top of the covers because it was a warm night, I was suddenly awoken by someone stroking my legs up to my cock- in the dark, and while it awoke me instantly - the stroker was unaware of this. I froze.  
The hands went onto my cock which was as hard as a board as I had awoken with a stiffy, and this person then started sucking on it, and my mind was racing trying to figure out who the hell this was...  So after a minute or so, he climbed up onto me and tried to insert my dick up his ass and at this point I awoke a bit more, reached for the light and told him to fuck off - but he just laid on the bed with his butt in the air expecting me to fuck him,  but as I was not about to bare back him - and as I was not about to fuck him regardless, I told him to go to bed. I got up and pushed him away from me - and yes you guessed it - it was my late night arrival -  and I was firm in telling him to bugger of.  

He reluctantly went down stairs.

I lay in bed appreciating the fantasy - because there is a fantasy to be had here, but he just was not my type at all, not even vaguely, and while he wanted to get fucked and I could have well enjoyed a late night fuck, I was not about to give him the pleasure of my big dick up his ass and I was not amused or pleased so was not about to give him fuck all.

I have no idea what he was on, what cheek, what drugs, what delusion he was harbouring under that let him think this kind of behaviour was acceptable and what others might think with him waking them in the night for sex,  especially as he had passed a PRIVATE sign on the stairs which means just as it says yet he saw fit to ignore this,  and it leaves me open mouthed.  For a start, I do not fancy orientals and I don't like tiny tiny willies ( which I briefly saw as I pushed him off ) and I most certainly do not like pushy people.
Now I appreciate that there is a part of me that knows that  had he been more my type;- had he been Hugh Jackman for instance, I might have fucked the ass of him for hours and had a great time,  and that this is double standards.  I am not adverse to a little late night nookie surprising me,  but the one thing I despise is arrogance and attitude, and this guy never once offered an apology for being late - he then assumed it was okay to creep around the hotel - probably trying every door until he found one unlocked ( mine ) and open ( so I can hear in case the alarms go off in the night ) and presumably I was not the first room he tried finding a fuck in... so not a real compliment.  And besides, his cock sucking skills - all 30 seconds of it, was useless,- not a bloody clue -  absolute crap, and if you are going to walk into someones room in the night and surprise them with your mouth around their cock, at least know how to suck cock and be decent about it and for goodness sake,  have some idea of what you are doing.

Sadly for him, he didn't.

So as I have a Late Arrival Charghe on my web site - which I have never had to use before, he was charged an extra £50 this morning for waking me at nearly 2am and when I see him later today, he WILL be told, inm no uncertain terms, what I think of his behaviour and attitude and he WILL be reprimanded and told some facts of life about decent behaviour.








Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 




February 2011



who worked at Hamilton Hall from December 2008 - January 2011




Please call Police Constable 2557 TRENT -

Incident / Reference number C:11:C:8746 -

on 01202/01305 22 22 22 

or e mail her on

otherwise e mail  John Bellamy on


Since Kristian left us because the police were catching up with him, I have had loads of phone calls and e mails from those who have been burned by him over the years and it seems he is not just an opportunistic thief - who sees an opportunity and grabs it - but someone who has made a career out of stealing, lying and manipulating people and it has brought much sadness, grief and heartache to those he has conned.  Stealing money from a man who was ill with PCP and on deaths door is dreadful. Conning an old lady out of her life savings is unthinkable.  Stealing charity money while pretending to have cancer - leaves me speachless. I truly thought better of him than this and it is sad that after experiencing him,  it leaves you distrusting and questioning everyones motives - which is sad - and like everyone else before me,  I am sad for Kristian. 

Like many, I do miss Kristian, even for all his lies and cheating ways. he has a heart of gold when it suits him and he is the kindest and most thoughtful man I have met in a long time and I don't care to think that all his kindness was just a way of getting around me, gaining my trust and friendship so he could con me.  I care to think that somewhere inside this man,  is a caring soul who is just caught in a trap and cannot find an exit, even though I honestly offered to help him,  he still ran and out of fear, has never looked back.

He is such a bright, intelligent, presentable and hard working man that he could have the best job - earning a lot of money - and have friends and respect - instead of the loathing, the hatred and the bile filled words that I have read from others on e mail.  He could have it all, and all through his time here at hamilton Hall he was desperate - absolutely desperate - for friends and respect and worked so hard at befriending others - and bullshitting us about how everyone loved and adored him and made up such stories about his life and background that  always proved to be false - and it saddens me that  the people who did be friend him and he became close to -   he  ended up stealing  from them.   Find out their weak points - who had money - who had anything - he could steal - and to have absolutely no conscience - no guilt, no remorse and no feelings at all for those he has harmed,  sends a very sad and pathetic message about how this man doesn't understand the basic - the most basic - of things - LOVE. 
His family seem to have disowned him.  Friends last as long as he is in town and before he is back on the run again with the police after him and friends left in shock and horror at what he has done, and I am desperately sorry for all concerned.

I have thought many times since Kristian vanished about deleting this page on my web site,  but then I hear in my head the pain and anguish in peoples conversations with me on the phone - since Kristian vanished and since I let it be known what he had done - from others who had been stung by him,  and that alone keeps this page on this web site.   One man is so destroyed that he cannot get on with his life as he doesn't know who he can trust,  and this is a common thread from many who have been 'taken in' by Kristian and now feel very hurt and betrayed. 
Yet I cannot fathom why he has allowed this to be a way of life.  he is a wonderful man who could really be in a good well paid job,  and he has no one to blame but himself.  It is such a shame, especially as I offered him a way out but he could noit accept it as it meant telling me thr truth and - to be honest - I think he is unaware of what the truth is any more - or certainly - afraid of his own truths, and is so caught up in the Walter Mitty - that as he gets older, he will find it harder and harder.

I feel desperately sorry for everyone concerned.  Including Kristian.
He was certainly my best worker - ever.


Until proven guilty in a court of law - even though I have evidence and a confession from Kristians own lips that he stole from me,  all this is conjective until proven in court. It seems his rights are more protected in law than those he robbed from and his human rights are paramount above his victims.  The law is an ass and the police have done precious little in finding him as he is a low priority case - and as usual, the victim is offered little respect and I was even told off by the police women above for actually putting this on my web site - but as they are doing nothing to find him, I shall continue with this in the hope that someone - somewhere - will read this, see him, and get him facing his accusers in a court of law so these people can have closure.

The human rights of the victim seems to come second to those of the person who has abused them.  As far as I am concerned, as soon as a thief picks up a brick to throw through my window to rob my home :-  As soon as a mugger spots a victim and takes ain :- As soon as anyone puts in motion any kind of illegal act against another - THEIR HUMAN RIGHTS SHOULD COME SECOND TO THE VICTIM - WHO DID NOT ASK TO BE ROBBED, RAPED, MUGGED ETC.  and the manner - all too often,  that the legal authorities offer the victim is second rate compared to the rights of the criminal.  Too many times the victim is left with a life of fear because not only have they been abused by a bad person,  they have been abuse dby the very system that is suppose to protect them.



My Mother, Betty.

Posted by: John

Tagged in: personal



My Mother died 21st September 2011

by John Bellamy

Like a lot of you out there, I have a Mother  who moved from her warden assisted flat to a nursing care home as her mental and physical health meant she was no longer able to look after herself any longer, and there were many times when it made my heart weep. I was talked out of looking after her in my  home and while my heart desperately wanted to look after her,  my head told me I would not manage and it was not a good idea.

A while ago she had a bladder infection and she was in bed and  very distressed - staring out of unseeing eyes that did not seem to focus,  grabbing with her hands at anything and everything close - ie: the bars at the side of the hospital bed had been put up to keep her in bed as she kept sliding out and staggering up the ward - and it was quite a distressing site for many to witness - and she was chattering away - with words that did not follow any cohesive sense and while she knew my name and - kind of - that I was her son -  all sorts of other family members names came into it and I don't really think she knew me,   Her confused state was sad to witness. 

My Mother - a bright, intelligent fashion model who was one of London's top models in the 1940's  and 1950's and walked the catwalk,   also sang with many famous dance bands,  for she had a superb voice - and who raised 3 children,  was reduced to this. 

A tall proud women with a voice and an opinion of her own and no fear of speaking her mind,- a woman who was married 3 times during her life and who put up with a lot,-   A woman who had lived alone for over 20 years since her 3rd husband - my Step Father died and who lost her only daughter ( my sister ) and her baby ( my niece ) around 20 years ago when both died a few months apart ,-  A women who has always been accepting of my gay lifestyle and who loved my friends and boyfriends totally,   even if not being as accepting of my brothers wife - always being a dreadful mother-in-law and a women who all those 'mother-in-law jokes'  must have been written about,-  And a woman who was stubborn, difficult and sometimes a women who would make the angels cry because GOD she could NEVER admit fault and take responsibility and simply apologize,   and a woman who has caused much family turmoil because of her refusal - point blank refusal - to ever accept that she was ever wrong about anything - And a woman who admitted to me some years ago that she had never been in love - never really knew what love was and that - despite being married 3 times and raising a family,  had never really understood what that mysterious word 'love' - had meant - and while in her way she has loved and has been loved, she never really comprehended what it meant, and for that, I was always desperately sorry. 

Sorry that she never understood how we - her children - felt about her and sorry that she always felt the need to - somehow - try and manipulate the situation to suit herself all the time.  Sad that she  never realised we would do whatever she wanted because we loved her and not because she was being manipulative.  Sad that she always thought every situation was about her  and sad that she felt such jealously and resentment towards anyone who 'stole her limelight' - even her own grandchildren.  Sad that she resented her son being a sensational husband and father to his children and sad that she felt such resentment towards those who had something she felt she had lost out on, when the truth was - she hadn't - for she was loved - she was very cared for - and while she never understood this and while she felt alone and unloved,  other people were hurt and betrayed by her time and time again because she simply didn't get it.  She never really understood,-  and that saddens me. 

Poor Betty - my poor Mother,  and as much as we have told her over the years and as much as we have openly shown our affection and considered her in our lives - she still never got it - never realised and never allowed herself to be part of the family - preferring to isolate herself and say that she wasn't wanted all the time when the exact opposite was the truth, and we just got fed up with it. 

Towards the end, to see her bedridden and shouting for help all the time,  was not good.   I could have visited more often,  and she understood in her way.

Whatever it was she lost - and whatever it was she lacked - and for all her mistakes and all her selfish ways,  she was my Mother, I love her dearly, and no-one - NO -ONE - should be made to go through the kind of thing at the end of their lives,   and the cruelty metered out by a government and health authority  SO AGAINST EUTHANASIA beggars belief.  My Mother would not have wanted this,  and with a society where 80% of people asked agree that euthanasia is the best thing in some situations such as this,  I know she didn't suffer at the end, which came quite quickly,  and that  she can now be with my sister, her family and Jesus - in peace - which is what she spoke of.

I would tell her that it was okay - she didn't have to keep fighting and being scared - that she could go to Heaven and see Jesus and the family any time she wanted, and that she, and they, would all be young again, that she would be singing once more and surrounded by those who loved her,  and that her Father - who she never knew - would welcome her with open arms - along with Jesus.  She felt reassured with this and while her body outlived her mind -  I know she would not have wanted to live like this.  Some people need permission to 'let go' and find peace, and my Mother hung on in there and died 21st September 2011 aged 89.   She wasn't ill - she wasn't suffering anything more than being bed ridden and with dementia - her body was strong and she just seemed to 'give up' and slipped into unconsciousness and died within an hour, peacefully, and for that I thank God and the Universe.

So my Mother has now become a memory and one I shall treasure always. I shall tell stories, laugh and get angry, and always with love and affection, for while my Mother exasperated us dearly,  she was a character - and strong willed individual and she died how she lived, in her own time and in her own way.  I can hardly believe I will not see her next week or next month, when I visit and I comb her hair and paint her nails and we talk around in circles and --- but like so many people,  life goes on and we will have her cremated and sprinkle her ashes over Evening Hill - a delightful park with a stunning view over Poole and the harbour and at sunset it is simply delightful, and I often visit with friends to enjoy a fish and chip supper from a local takeaway,   and I shall remember her and be thankful that she was my Mother, who I loved dearly.

John Bellamy