Just hosted our first Bating Weekend and it was great fun. With 12 guys here making a good group - we had an enjoyable weekend and I have leared a few things for future Bating Weekends and I shall certainly be looking forward to the next Bourne Baters weekend in August.
Thanks to the guys who attended and who helped make it such fun. I had little clue as to what exactly to expect and on reflection, it was probably a bit obvious what to expect - and it was a delight.
I have to admit that this was a fantasy of mine - and while I have attended tons of sex bars over the years and put on a show for others to watch ( if you have it - flaunt and show it off ) but it has been a long time since I did anything like that and as I am 99% celibate these days - more through long hard work days and little energy to meet strangers - it was great fun to see so many men with the same thing on their minds and all in common with each other.
Next time I think I will be a lot more relaxed about the whole thing and the energies will reflect this. If anyone wishes to co host - so I can get a few hours off after dinner for instance and there is someone else encouraging and helping keep it going, let me know.
I had some wonderful input concerning the Crash Course in Tantric Sex shared this weekend and although I appreciste it is part of another workshop, it is too good not to share and allow others to try - and with an open heart I always offer my expertise as cheaply as I can. Many valued what was shared and I had some wonderful comments afterwards.
Thanks guys. Keep on tugging.
Hi John I just wanted to say a huge thank you for letting me come to your first bournebaters, ( May 2013 ) I really enjoyed meeting you and the other guys, I had a great time and would have loved to have come on Saturday evening also but alas work commitments. I hope to see you soon as I'm local. Would definitely be up for the August weekend, will book time off work so know I will have more time. Thank you again for a great night. Steve. ---------------------------------------------
John: Thankyou for the Tantric Sex workshop during the BourneBaters weekend. The breathing technique really was profound and exactly what I needed to hear and experience. This was obviously what I came here to learn and while BATING was the draw, your woprkshop was very well received and worthy of attending for jst that. I cannot tell you how profound it was, really good. I shall certainly be returning soon. J.
BELOW: e mail received recently; slightly edited.
I am so looking forward to meeting you & have had a very vivid dream about you, i get dreams, visions & have had many incredible experiences of a spiritual nature. Though the dream I had about you was more sexual, quite unlike anything I have had before!I feel that you will be quite unlike anyone I have met before & it will be amazing & enlightening to actually meet you & to learn from you. I feel you are the Master & all those that are ready will continue to be drawn to you. It will be incredible to get into some deep spiritual/sexual conversations. Dave.
I was pleased as punch with this e mail above and like many of us, I sent it to a friend to read and I was stunned by his lack of support in return and he screamed in HUGE CAPITAL LETTERS that he assumed it was fake and that I had written it myself, and I was quite hurt. I answered back that his comment and his view of me was always somewhat 'half empty' and was hardly supportive, and it really saddened me. A couple of hours later I took a much needed afternoon 'power nap' and went into a deep dream and - as in this case, I was being disrespected by a family member and again by a close friend, and while I realise this is probably a reflection of my own need to be respected, why is it that some gay men just cannot offer a compliment, praise when due, support and above all, appreciation for another, especially a friend, unless there is some other underlying stuff going on for them. It beggars belief why so many gay men are so lacking in their support of their own community and take take take while complaining all the time about those who give give give and yet they seem unable to see what destruction they are causing.
I remember a guy a few years ago who taught spiritual breathing workshops and wrote a spiritual article in one of the gay rags, and while his life was not ideal or perfect or anything above and beyond anyone elses, he was trying to offer some light in an otherwise dark and dangerous world, and he eventually gave it all up as he was sick of the negative input;- sick of being ridiculed and sick of all those who assumed he thought himself 'something special and above everyone else' - when this was absolutely not the case. He was just tryng to bring some light to the world in which he lived,- and all those who chose to live in the darkness destroyed what he was trying to do and he eventually quit.
I remember asking a client some decades ago what he did for a living, and his answer was - ' Oh I am just a waiter.' and I - kinda - told him off. I said that I had been a waiter and that it was bloody hard work. You get obnoxious customers who treat you like scum. You are on your feet all day long in and out of the hot kitchen . Often Head Chefs are not exactly respectful and restaurant managers shout at you. It is not a highly paid job and is really hard work, and I told this guy he should have more pride in what he does and not say that he is 'just' a waiter - but that 'HE IS ' a waiter - and make a statement of fact with an authority that says he is proud of what he does and not ashamed or dismissive and to take pride in his waiting job. He absolutely heard what I said and it was remarkable, as right in front of me he actually stood upright, with his shoulders back - held his head high and proudly said in a clear and distinctive voice - ' I AM A WAITER'- and it was said with confidence and a bit of a challenge... a challenge not to make small with what he did and a challenge not to belittle his career choice - and his manner said that if you do - he would challenge you - just as I had done - and put you in your place and that he was proud of what he did and that was that - take it or fuck off kind of thing. I laughed and congratulated him and we laughed together. He said that he completely got what I had said - and instantly saw it all another way and thanked me for bringing him around in this way.
The remarkable thing was that he came to see me for a massage with a 'happy ending' - as this was during my sex worker days, and I cannot remember a single thing else about him other than this first interaction when he first arrived. He was only young - around late 20's, and I hope he took that lesson, that moment with him into his life and offered the same to others as he had experienced and learned that day - that regardless of who you are and what you do, take pride in what you do and always give it your best, and if others do not like your career choice, then fuck them, they are not important, what IS important is what you feel about yourself and your own choices in life. If you do your best - if you give it your best shot - then fucking good for you and you SHOULD be proud of yourself and to hell with those fucked up queens who like to pull you down.
It still hurts when it comes from a friend though, as much as you know it shouldn't.
I had a phone call this week from my first lover who started in on me about what I 'should be doing' - and remembering that I was 16 when we first got together and he was 42 at the time and is now a very old man, after a while of him keep using the word 'should' - I reminded him that he 'should' also remember how hard it is running a hotel as we had run one together decades ago, and now he is old and retired - many unemployed or retired people seem to forget what it is like to work long and hard hours and belittle those who do.
He kept saying I should visit this old lady friend and when I said I have no time, he said that this was all my choice to work so hard - and I responded that he was correct, it was my choice, just as it was my choice NOT to visit this old lady friend, and when he started belittling me about the choices I make - I remended him loud and clear that he had absolutely no right dictating to me about the choices I make in my life - absolutely none at all, and I honestly don't think many have ever spoken back to him in this manner - as he was always an arrogant man - and he just hung up.
If this old lady was so lonely and desperate to see me, after almost 40 years - then she knows my phone number, she has all day to pick up the phone and by all means, I will then make the time to have a natter and may even then go and see her, for as I always said to my Mother - 'PHONES WORK TWO WAYS.
Try and be supportive towards others. Stop throwing your own 'stuff' at them as it is transparantly clear that this is your own resentment, jealousy, bitterness and unhappiness being shown and while it may be your own stuff, it can still hurt that you are not a true friend, a true supporter at all, you are just putting others down to prop your own flagging self worth up.
Has anyone seen this film. It's a bit of an epic story with these beautiful horses - absolutely beautiful animals, and it is a bit of a tear jerker - but the end... OH MY GOD - what was Speilberg thinking. No - I am not going to give the story away but just to say the way he has filmed it in the closing scenes is straight out of Gone With The Wind and if and when you see it, you will know exactly what I mean.
It's a moving epic story and well worth seeing but have your tissues handy.
LIFE OF PI
Everyone kept telling me I shopuldf see this film, so as soon as it came out on DVd I bought a copy and sornt the evening transfixed. This journey of self discovery - when a young boy is shipwrecked in a lifrboat with an adult Bengal Tiger - ( who naturally wantt to eat him ) has an amazing theme and weaves an intriguing story that is enthrawling.
Beautifully filmed and brilliant CG and special effects, it takes the viewer on a journey of mind, body and soul.
I must admit to getting teary in a copuple of parts and thoroughly enjoyed the film. I can see whay it was such a big hit.
Beautifully filmed and acted. Stunning special effects. Lovely film.
It beggars belief, it really does...
Here is a challenge to you : Where does it say in the Bible that two men cannot get married - Or to put it another way - Where in the Bible does it state that marriage is EXCLUSIVELY for men and women - Or to put it another way - Where does it say in the Bible that when two people love each other dearly, and they are the same sex, that the church must denounce their love and cast them into hell - Or to put it another way - Where does it say in the Bible that the Pope is the all seeing eyes and wisdom of God and that what he says is 100% pure and true ?
ALCOHOL IS THE BIGGEST KILLER
Alcohol is responsible for nearly 4 percent of deaths worldwide, and according to the World Health Organization, alcohol kills more people than AIDS, tuberculosis or violence. According to the CDC, alcohol abuse kills about 80,000 Americans annually, results in more than 1.2 million emergency room visits and 2.7 million physician office visits are due to excessive drinking. The economic costs of excessive alcohol consumption in 2006 were estimated at $223.5 billion. It’s the third leading cause of preventable death in the United States, and 72 percent of those who die are men.
Of course, when it says that 80,000 people a year die, this figure is very short of the truth as we all know about drunk drivers who kill people, and how about the familt of the drunk - those in the firing line whose lives are often ruined, business' lost, lives wrecked, and the 80,000 figure is just those who die and does not list the lives ruined.
My sister died of too much vidka over a slow and long period and her liver packed up - and she had had a baby in that period who sadly died 18 months later - it also ruined every relationship she ever had, every job and everything she did - eventually - fell to pieces because of her drinking. It's sad, and it is an epidemic the government do little about while moaning on and on about drugs, which are SO not as dangerous or as deadly or as ingrained into the psyche of society as socially acceprable. Every street corner. Every supermarket - SPECIAL OFFERS - HALF PRICE WINE AND BEER - 2-4-1 - and so forth and drinking is openly encouraged with bars and clubs everwhere and still the government do not know what to do to tackle this sad downfall of many.
Oh Dear God. Give me strength.
I moved my gas and electric to another company at Christmas and signed all the documentation and sent off the Direct Debit mandate, which the person handling my account claimed not to have received, so she sent it again,:- I completed and e mailed it all back to her. ( and this I can proove )
Now - 4 months later I receive a £2,000 gas bill and am expecting something similar for electric, and these should have been paid monthly through Direct Debit ( or at least the majority ) and yet the company has not set up a Direct Debit;- they have never informed me this has not been done and I am really angry at how they have twice offerd a shoddy service and where I am now faced with crippling bills.
I appreciate the money has not been taken from my account each month and to be honest, I have better things to do that check up on every single Direct Debit that comes in and out of my account, especially when I have so much extra work to do besides checking up on big business. Seems though, I should have... and any money not claimed by them each month has been spent - as I see money in the account and someone needing a free weekend and so it is spent on them... never on myself... and it really annoys. After all the hard work. After all the years. After all th late nights, no sex life and little else but give give give... Southern Electrric can now reduce me to tears.
What is the fucking point ?
Since this, I have informed them that I expect to receive a sizeable discount on my bills which together, gas and electric for a 3 month period is just over £3,100 and I shall ask for 50% discount, which I am doubtful about but I shall MOST CERTAINLY expect something that will make them sting and sting hard. It needs to be a penalty that makes them realise they did wrong and that someone or something needs to change within their organisation and I will not be satisfied with a simple apology or a £20 gift voucher from M&S.
I shall keep you posted.
The company has offered me nothing. Loads of apologies but no compensation for the sleepless nights of worry - not a single dime fore their mikstakes but you and I both know how heavy handed they are if and when we make a kistake and their small print is full of penalties.
I fight on.
a friend is starting to grow his veg using the water from his pond full of fish, to filter through his lettuce etc. and get pumped back into the pond, and the fish poo etc. is good for the plants and the plants grow without soil, and everyone is happy. It looks amazing and although expensive to set up, will produce far more than in soil and better quality all round - better taste - better size of crop and lots of pleasure in doing so.
If anyone has any experience in this - please share it with us.
The garden is starting to look lovely after a few sunny days where B&Q had a 50% off sale of plants and now the colour and the summer feels like it is just around the corner and I am excited. I love pottering in the garden although don't get much time really, and it takes an hour to water all the flower pots every evening, and I get delight out of it by others who enjoy the time out there, and I am really hopeful for a lonmg hot summer... Fingers crossed.
It is so nice walking to dog and seeing all the new growth in the woods, all the wild flowers and blossom - and it makes me glad to be alive... still worried about my gas bill, ha ha ... but good to be alive.
Have we entered a new era for humanity ? After the much talked about date - that much anticipated date of December 21st 2012, which has now passed, with millions around the world celebrating in some form or another, this has been the start of a new and potentially quite extraordinary era.
The most true prophecy was that after Dec. 21st - would come Dec. 22nd and that life would go on just as before. Millions marked the birthing moment with great beauty and unity across every continent and probably every country, each in their own unique way. And year 0001 was born - the New Age - or whatever you wish to call it.
Now, what we all activated in the collective mind of humanity - a vision for a new era, a commitment to global unity, a sense of being one human family - will take some time to grow up. It was just the beginning - as all births are - and it is now up to us to nurture and help grow the consciousness attached to this new age, this birth - and help it grow. For this is the time where we have planted the seeds and watered the ground, and now need to sit back and guide the future generations to have solid and firm roots in honesty - and allow strong and secure branches to grow - and all of this is nurtured by our collective and individual consciousness and how we continue to transform our own lives forward from this point and be the radiant embodiment of our higher potential.
Some say this is hard to achieve in a world so bogged down in the heavy negative energies that surround us, and it really is a moment to moment thing. It is easy to 'loose the plot' when you hear about what is going on in the world but it is also a reflection on what we see is what we are looking at. If you wish to see doom and gloom then you will see doom and gloom. If you wish to see beauty and light, then this is just as available and just as easy and just as clear to our inner eye as well as our physical existence. It is all a choice. You see what you choose to see.
So make some changes in your life of those things that do not serve you. Concentrate on the positive. Be of the light and as your world changes, so will the world around you. It only takes one person to change the entire planet and that person - is you.
HELP US TO BRING THIS NEWSMAGAZINE TO YOU
BY DONATING A LITTLE SOMETHING TO HELP US KEEP IT GOING.
Every penny raised goes to help the many people we help with food, company, a week or weekend away, counseling, and even sometimes helping with clothes. In one case we bought a homeless student a bike to get to college on, and in another , a guitar and lessons to play for a local lad whose life was aimless and he was stoned on drugs all day and all night and we are today, guiding him into making a life for himself - get his act together - and have some order in his empty life. We do what we do for absolutely no reason other than
this article is not finnished and needs editing. Sunday 10th March 2013
I have always been adamantly against the American culture of guns. Back in the 80's I lived in USA for a number of years, travelling and living all over the place, and I rarely came into contact with fire arms although knew people who had them and on occasions I would hold one - and was always amazed how heavy it was. I was aware of how powerful the gun lobby was and aware how widespread the ownership of guns was. I remember a TV commercial for a bank that promised you a hunting rifle FOR FREE if you simply opened an account and was horrified at the ease at how so many people acquired a lethal weapon.
Watching the news of tragic killings where dozens have been killed;- Columbine High School where 25 were killed in 1999;- Newtown School where 20 - mostly children between 6 and 7 years of age and a couple of adults were killed in December 2012;- and how Anders Behring Breivik killed 77 young people in 2011 in Norway;- and Michael Robert Ryan who killed 16 and injured a futher 15 iin Hungerford, UK in 1987 and I was convinced that guns should be banned.
But I have had a change of heart of late.
What needs changing is the education around owning and using a gun of any kind and stricter control - MUCH STRICTER CONTROL over who is allowed to own and use a gun and strict guidelines need putting in place and strict maintenance of those guidelines.
We live in a society that disenfranchises many people. Where the state - Government - Councils use heavy handed powers to bully, threaten and frighten the general public while trying to make out they are just the peace keepers and that they are the hard working people 'in the front line' - and many TV shows try and spin the truth and make us believe what is fast becoming clear to the masses. The police are incompetant and out of control. Too many innocent people are harrassed, bullied and intimidated by the very people who are suppose to be protecting them and too many innocent people are being murdered by the police in the USA; blaming the gun culture is not the answer.
The police - in far too many instances - are out of control.
Governments cutting back on health and education while spending billions on the war effort against a terrorist we and the USA have created in our mad rush to claim oil and gas - has caused the tipping point between who is the good guy and who is the bad guy - who is in the right and who is not, and the lines between have blurred dramatically in the last couple of decades and we - the people in the west, are faced with a mountain of spin ( or lies ) from governments - and we buy it hook line and sinker.
We are the good guys and those Arabs in the desert are the bad guys. The white folks are good and the black folks are not, and the same can be said against any minority group or anyone who takes a stand for what is right and that may differs to the way politicians and governments see things, and then the police are sent in to quieten dissent and sadly in the USA, guns have caused innocent people to be murdered by the police, or tasered repeatedly or even pepper sprayed against all legal guidelines, and too many people feel powerless and disenfranchised by the state and powers that be.
America introduced draconian terrorist laws after the attack on the Twin Towers - The Patriot Act ( Twin Towers alternative truths here -1-- 2 -- 3 - - 4 -) which really should have been aimed at their own corporations and the power they weild,- for it is not the Arab or any other foe that Americans should fear ( and it is not a lot different here in the UK ) it is their own government and the corporate power that rules over and makes policy - and people like George Bush and Obama, Tony Blair and even Cameron, are scared of the power and control weilded by these mighty giants,-, , and governments do nothing but roll over and play along and we, the people, are then at risk.
Corporate power does not care about you or I. It cares about power - and power comes from money - and money comes from screwing the system any way it can, be it through bribing politicians to give huge billion $ tax breaks ;- Allowing banks to completely fuck the whole system up, claim help from the tax payer and then CONTINUE to fuck things up, take ENORMOUS bonuses and STILL give it all the arrogance and condescention to those who have been massively hurt by their actions, and the governments have done - and continue to do - nothing - absolutely nothing, but talk and suggest and talk some more and end up doing nothing.
The truth is, the government are scared to take on big business because big business has the power.
Terrorism in the USA is not seen as just the Arabs or any other dangerous country that hates America;- it is seen as URBAN TERRORISM - and that means you and I - anyone who stands up and opposes the bullshit lies and opposes the manner in which the government - working to support and back-up corporate power - and where we the innocent population who see our lifestyle going down the toilet;- our pension halved because of irresponsible thieving bankers;- our food full of horse meat and dangerous chemicals;- thousands of jobs gone and homes re possessed and families put on the streets so the banks can rake in even more money;- feel we need to take a stand and have our voice heard, and we are then called Urban Terrorists. The police and government then spin the story to defend themselves and innocent people are rounded up and put into FEMA CAMPS - ( see more here - and here ) which are basically concentration camps for the masses who stand up and show some balls - and appose the bullshit, oppose the system that is so one sided for corporate power and against the normal person in the street. Any man, woman and child who is sick of the way things are done, will be rounded up and put away.
Here in Dorset, Poole town council used Anti Terrorism laws to use private investigators to follow a family and photograph them because they doubted they lived in the correct catchment area for their children to attend certain schools, and this use of the Anti Terrorism laws is unacceptable and an outragous abuse of the systen to suit itself, and I was pleased that the Poole Town Council was eventually reigned in by central government when this came out, and it was told that this was not an acceptable usage of the Terrorism laws. But this kind of abuse continues all over the place and it is NOT about people any more, it is about targets, financial targets and budgets and control. Control of the people to keep things running along just honky dorey while the powers that be screw us blind.
The same is happenign in the USA but in a much larger manner, where the police and killing autistic people in their homes because they consider them a threat - where elderly and physically handicapped people have been brutally shot and killed by the police and where nothing is done about it and where Pepper Spray is used against innocent people sitting in the park by over zealous and agressive bully boy policeman who throw their weight and uniform around as if they were God, and the mass of people are awakening to the truth of what is going on and arming themselves with guns of all sorts for when ' it happens.'
And by the look of things, it is going to happen real soon, or so the authorities think, otherwise why on God's earth has the USA got over 800 concentration ( sorry FEMA ) camps open and ready for urban terrorists. They obviously know something we do not and the clock is ticking and we, the people are seriously at risk from the very authorities who are designed and paid to protect and watch over us and NOT to bully, damn and destroy us.
The more you investigate what is going on in the USA and Europe, the more frightening the whole thing looks and the more draconian it becomes.
The other day in B&Q there was a confusion as to what exactly was on sale and we sent for the manager who argued with us that we were mistaken, and when we pointed out how in error she was and how utterly confusing and incorrect she was, there was absolutely no way she was going to admit fault and no way she was going to accept that the customer was correct and that the mighty B&Q might just have got it wrong - which in this case it had, and it was frightening how blocked and brain washed she was - how absolutely stuck and rigid she was, that she was right and we were wrong and there was absolutely no room for a new vision of truth.
This is how it will be done. This is exactly how brain washing of staff and people is done and where we imprison our minds through this kind of behaviour and how millions of jews were murdered during WW2. By those too afraid to question and just blindly following orders.
Well my mind is free and I choose to investigate everything and will always be open to alternative viewpoints and these days, I would tell my American friends to get properly educated - in depth, and then arm themselves to the teeth because one day, their own government is going to turn on them and then all hell will break loose and it will be ugly civil war. The people against private corporate power. The people against the government who is financed and run by private corporate power. The people against the police and armed forces which will all be financed and run by private corporate power. The people will be rounded up and put in FEMA Camps and the Land of The Free will no longer exist and by then, it will be too late.
Please eductae yourself, There is a ton of things on the internet or listen to Dark Ciuty Radio and many other superb priovate and radical stations that are not as crazy as you may think. Pay attention and do not just roll over and play dead or you damned well will be dead. Get involved, wake up and take notice, for it is happening even here in the UK and Europe and the world is fast becoming a very different and more dengerous place because of the very powers that are suppose to be protecting us - our government, armed forces and police. ~
This week, ( March 12th 2013 ) WDM is launching its new ‘Carbon Capital’campaign to fight dirty finance.
The campaign will expose how the UK financial sector is bankrolling climate change by ploughing billions into dirty fossil fuel
projects which are devastating people’s lives around the world.
As a first step, we are calling for pension funds and other
shady financiers to be made to come clean on the emissions created through its dirty investments: VINCE CABLE
New regulation coming into force later this year will mean that the UK’s biggest businesses will have to report on their carbon emissions. But the financial sector has been let of the hook from disclosing the climate impacts of their investments.
Find out how much your bank has poured into coal power and email Vince Cable to demand that the financial sector is forced to come clean on the carbon footprint of its investments: HERE
All the best,
Climate campaigner, WDM
We were having a laugh on the IPod and made this quick piece of music about Hamilton Hall.
Earlier this week, Swedish mega-retailer Ikea announced that it was withdrawing sales of Swedish meatballs in Thailand, Hong Kong and the Dominican Republic after finding horse meat in these. Ikea will also stop selling sausage which were also found to contain horse meat (traced to a Swedish supplier, Familjen Dafgard) in the U.K., France, Ireland, Portugal and Spain. Russia has found horse meat in sausages from Austria.
Scientists from South Africa’s Stellenbosch University say that “species which were not declared on the product label” comprised 68 percent of the 139 minced meats, burger patties, deli meats, sausages and dried meats that they tested. Specifically, the scientists found soy, gluten, chicken and pork in products labeled as something else, as well as “unconventional species” including donkey, goat and water buffalo meat.
“Our findings raise significant concern on the functioning of the meat supply chain in South Africa,” says Prof. Louw Hoffman of the Stellenbosch University Department of Animal Sciences. While “local regulations” to protect consumers do exist, they are clearly not being observed or enforced.
The meat products tested came from supermarkets, butcher shops and other retail outlets. Burgers, lunch meats and sausages were the most commonly mislabeled.
Shoprite Holdings, the biggest food retailer in Africa, states that it runs routine DNA tests on the products in its meat departments. A spokesman for South African’s health department, Maja Popo, told Bloomberg that an investigation would focus not so much on retailers but on slaughterhouses and meat processors.
Sales of frozen burgers in the U.K. have fallen as the scandal has dragged on and officials rush, or say they are rushing, to investigate. While local butchers have seen some increases in sales, farmers have found themselves “even angrier,” fearful that the scandal will result in more red tape and regulations for them to abide by while supermarkets and even food processing plants muddle their way through the uproar.
Some are shrugging and saying, what’s so bad about a little horse meat? It is a huge travesty that, all around the world, products are not accurately labeled, especially in regard to animals and meat. What if you have dietary restrictions about eating certain types of meat such as pork due to your religion?
and fucked good by a fellow gay man who really should have known better. He took me for one hell of a ride and the dumb thing is, I never even noticed. Oh I paid the money asked and he got on with fucking me over about a week period, and while I thought this would be a much quicker time we would be together, it seemed he had other plans to drag it out and make it last as long as he could, and only fuck me in the late afternoons and evenings when the light was bad and I couldn't tell how bad he was and that he was even fucking me at all.
I am talking about a local gay decorator who recently redecorated Room 6 for me and did such a bad job that I have had to pay someone else to come in and re do a great deal of what I thought had alreadty been done, and this has now cost me considerably more, and I am not pleased.
I saw the job at the end and said it looked fine, but that was by the light of one light bulb in the late evening and the next morning when I went in and thought I was going to get the room sorted out ready for the new carpet that is on order, I looked around and had to laugh... and then grab anyone who was there to come and have a look and everyone was just open mouthed at the bad quality of workmanship offered. It was dreadful, and I mean, really bad. They just stood there looking at where the wallpaper was short in meeting the ceiling;- the ceiling paper had not been painted and there were gaps between the pieces and you could see the old ceiling between the gaps;- he had papered over an air vent which had lifted the paper so the glue had not stuck in all places because of the draft through the vent and as for the woodwork, well a child could have done better and most of it he simply hadn't done. Emulsioned walls all needed a second or even third coat and you could see the old wall through the paint he had applied. The room was a mess.
I have been conned by straight builders in the past and I have received shoddy workmanship from complete strangers I found in Yellow Pages and like most of us who have ever employed people in the building trade, you can get lucky and get a good guy, or as in this case, you get fucked royally.
Somehow, I wasn't expecting it from a fellow gay man and it just goes to show, that like any gay business, there are just as many gay men screwing gay men out of their money and offering fuck all for it but shoddy work and shoddy services and this appalls me. I am deeply saddened at how this man has done the work and disgusted at how he has taken my money ( foolishy paid in cash - I admit ) and not bothered to return my phone calls when I have left messages since concerning how displeased I am.
So be warned people. gay men fuck other gay men - and not up the ass - but in business. There is no connection - no friendship - no brotherly love or anything else, all there is - is money - and they see you as a mug, a fool, just another punter to fuck over, and if he does not return my third phone message today where I complained and told him the facts - and if he does not return the e mail sent that backed up my phone message, then I shall go to Trading Standards and put in an official complaint and let anyone and everyone know. I shall give him the opportunity - NOT to make good the shoddy work as I have lost all faith in his ability to offer good work, but to offer an apology and even return a portion of the money it has cost to re do the work I paid him to do and for which someone else has had to complete.
I am very easy going - and am often told off by my friends for being too easy going, but when someone fucks me over like this, hell - I was in the sex industry for decades and have known some 'interesting and colourful' people, and I most certainly will not allow it to rest until I either get some of my money back - have contacted Trading Standards of at least exposed him to as many people as I can.
I don't appreciate shoddy workmanship in anything. I don't appreciate bullshit and I most certainly don't appreciate being fucked over when I am offering good money and being friendly and even cooked dinner for him 3 times. I work damned hard and always have for everything I have ever had in life and nothing was ever handed to me on a silver platter. When guys like this fuck me and think they can get away with it, there comes a time when you either say to yourself - that this is a lesson and you need to learn from this - and move on wiser :- OR:- you do battle against the person and take action and if for no one else other than yourself - but for others in the future who have not got such big balls at fighting back and standing against such abuses in business.
Gay men fuck gay men. They screw hard and deep and get in and get out fast. They take you for a ride just as anyone else does and you have to protect yourself just as you do when you wear a condom. There seems to be no trust and no honesty with some gay business' and as hard as I try and offer the very best for my guests, it saddens that so many don't give a damn and just want to fuck you over. Period.
The man responsible for this mess - Steve Clark, a local decorator and maintenance man.
POPE BENEDICT RESIGNS AND LEAVES A LEGACY
OF BIGOTRY, COVER-UPS.
Pope Benedict XVI announced this Monday that he would step down as the leader of the Catholic Church at the end of February, becoming the first pontiff to abdicate since Pope Gregory XII in 1415.
Benedict’s legacy, unfortunately, is dominated by actions he took to curtail the rights of women and LGBT individuals and his deep involvement in the ongoing cover-up of child sexual abuse in the church.
Benedict has shown no interest in moving the church’s view of women into the 20th century. He has pushed for prescribed gender roles, describing moves toward egalitarianism as “a violation of the natural order.” On his watch, the church declared the ordination of female priests as a “more grave crime,” and equated it with child sex abuse.
The Catholic Church has also fought hard against new United States regulations that would provide reproductive health care for all women, even those who work for organizations affiliated with the church, such as schools or hospitals.
The church has also refused to consider any change in its opposition to equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender individuals. In March of 2012, Benedict said that Catholics should oppose same-sex marriage, and defend opposite-sex marriage against “every possible misrepresentation of their true nature.” Benedict used his Christmas speech later that year to denounce same-sex marriage.
Still, the assault on same-sex marriage pales in comparison to Benedict’s meeting with Speaker Rebecca Kadaga of the Ugandan Parliament, a primary supporter of a bill that would increase punishment for homosexuality, up to and including the death penalty. The pope was reported to have blessed Kadaga during the meeting, though the Vatican later denied that a blessing was given. Still, the meeting seemed to legitimize Kadaga’s proposed pogrom, and suggested that the church viewed fighting LGBT rights as more important than its longstanding opposition to the death penalty.
Meanwhile, the church continues to struggle from the ongoing fallout from its widespread sex abuse scandal, which Benedict has been directly tied to. During his time as a cardinal, Benedict, then Cardinal Josef Ratzinger, he headed the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which was responsible for dealing with abuse cases. Despite an overwhelming number of cases around the world, and clear and convincing evidence that the church played an active role in covering up evidence of crimes, Benedict has refused to apologize for any failure by himself or the church. This despite the fact that it’s clear Benedict was well aware of the crimes and the cover-up, and took no action against either.
Benedict XVI will be remembered as a pope who refused to modernize, refused to move his church along with the rest of the world. That is defensible, of course — the church exists to teach what it views as fundamental moral truths, after all. But it has contributed to a church whose growth in the US has stagnated, falling below that of population growth as a whole. Indeed, one of every ten Americans is today a former Catholic, a group that, if organized into its own faith, would be the nation’s third-largest religion.
Simply, Benedict XVI chose to keep his church rooted in its views of men and women as radically different, LGBT individuals as sinners and victimized children as less important than the reputation of its priests. His tenure will be remembered as an era in which the Catholic Church eschewed modernity — and modernity began to eschew the Catholic Church.
IS HE SMOKING A SPLIFF ABOVE, HE'S SUPPOSE TO INHALE SURELY ?
I heard a radio station debate the other night which talked about how the Pope was a long standing paedophile and responsible for hiding thousands of priests and nuns for child abuse and how there is a European Warrant out for his arrest and how the higher powers that rule in the Vatican and really 'pull the strings' have demande he leaves the position. It seems there is more to this - which is blatantly obvious - and there is a great deal being hidden and a great deal of evil work being brushed unde the capet.
We know about the abuses of the Magdalene Sisters and the hundreds of young girls beated and abused - often until dead - by Nuns - and we know about the abuses inflicted in indiginous people like the American Indians and Aboriginals - let alone on children in Catholic schools all over the world. We know about how the church hides priests found to be committing such crimes and how they live under Canon Law and not the law of the land and have special dispensation which protects them. We know, and have done for many decades now, the horrendous torture and treatment of people at the hands of the church and the milliuons - yes MILLIONS - horrible murdered at the behest of Priests and Popes, and we are suppose to bow down and kiss this mans ring and see him as God's representative on Earth - when this man and the institution they hide behind is blatantly as evil as anything I can think of.
Much good work is undertaken by many fine and decent Priests and Nuns, but the Guide Book they =work from - The Bible and the Head Office in Rome is filled with evil, twisted and distorted men in frocks perpatrating some of the worlds greatest evils against their fellow man, woman and child without a single thought about the victim but more about themselves and the twisted institution they support.
The sooner he goes - the better. It is interesting who they will choose for the new Pope. Maybe a complete break with tradition and go for a young modern Pope who will open it up and admit its faults and involve the people in cleaning up this corrupt money and power hungry corporation - or yet another old fuck who will tow the line and hide and manipulate and rape and murder just as they have done for centuries.
Now I think I know who I shall be betting on.
I know it is really early, but we have hundreds of Daffodils about to burst into flower at any moment and considering it is still early February, surely this is many weeks ahead on normal ( whatever normal is ...) Usually we have the daffs around March - mid to late March, when Easter offers us a short break from work. It seems that while we have had a long and wet winter, wet being the operative word here... the temperatures have not been that cold, and while I live in the south coast which is milder, and we did get a day or two of snow which was not enough to klill the Geraniums and other seasonal flowers that manage to over winter here:- the Geraniums by my front door have never stopped flowering all winter.
I have said for some years that the seasons seem to start earlier and spring starts earlier and summer and then autumn, and it does seem to be that way this year. With the flowers blooming a month early, are we to assume that summer will be here in May - and autumn might well start in August ?
Personally, as long as we have a nice long hot summer - with the garden looking lovely and masses of people enjoying the beaches and outdoor spaces, and with the resevoius all full ( and yet I wonder who will be the first to announce a hose pipe ban... ) I hope and pray for a good summer... nice and busy, lots of people staying and spending money with us and the resession starts to climb out of the toilets and who klnows, maybe even the Evil Wicked Witch at The Bank Of England ( the bankers in gereral ) might start taking a little responsibility for their actions and give back billions of their stolen money and assets to those they stole it from in the first place and then a lot more people can enjoy the coming summer.
Today though the wind is blowing, the rain is pouring down and it is a typical Sunday. As we are empty and I have friends round later for a roast pork dinner, I shall take Missy for a walk to the park, which will be brief as she hates the rain, and I might have a lazy day in front of the telly - feet up - cup of tea... or in front of this computer catching up on database listings which I am slowly getting through and still have several days more to do before it is sorted...
We shall see.| Whatever, I am in the warm, and dry and feel for those who are homeless or who cannot heat their homes and sit shivvering, and I do spare a thought to say THANKYOU to the Universe for the things I have in my life. The simple, yet to me essential things. A home. Food in my belly. Warmth. A comfortable bed. Money in my pocket. A smile on my face. Friends and family. Safety.
Baliff's can break into your home if you are not there.
A friend of mine phoned today and asked if I could pop to his flat ( just around the corner ) as he had been informed the Baliff was breaking into his property and that he would be there as soon as he could - with the police.
I was there within minutes and the Baliff was already in his flat - and were from British Gas - and they were changing the lock on the front door and changing his electric meter from a normal meter to one of those ' pay as you go ' ones with a key you charge up and pay for as you use it.
It seems my friend has not paid his bill and although they claimed he had been written to - he denies ever hearing from them. Regardless of this, what shocked me was that they have the legal right to break into someone's private property to undertake this kind of action, without having a policeman present and without the consent of the owner.
If anything was ever to go missing - who would you blame ?
The Baliff was very p;leasant and we spoke and he showed me his ID and was very calm and pleasant and we chatted while waiting for my friend to arrive, and although the police came as well, there was nothing they could do as it seemthey DO have the right to break in, and although the police obviously did not know much about the law itself, the Baliff was in the right.
This scares me. While I owe no money to anyone and pay all my bills by Direct Debit, British Business Gas some years ago threatened to 'break your fucking knees mate ' and all because of a fuck up by British Gas and not myself, and when it comes to big business, it seems they have the police and the laws on their side and if and when in error, there is nothing you can do at the time - and you are then forced into a mega stressful period trying to prove them wrong... which in my instance I was able to do and yet received neither an apology or compensation for their mistake, even where I was threatened with having my knees brokn. ( This was some years ago )
My friend videotaped the entire event and I am sure it will soon be on his facebook account - as the bully boy antics of business' like British Gas - with their 48% price hike in one year ( a couple of years ago this was the increase in my gas prices in one single year ) and then rough shot manner and uncaring attitude offered to those in desperate need, is dreadful.
I am reminded of the elderly couple who had their gas supply cut off by Britiush Gas 2 years ago and BG never thought to inform the council that 2 old age pensioners in the 80's had been left with no gas supply and a month or two later when the cold weather hit, both were found dead from the cold. Had BG bothered to simply inform Social Services or Age Concern or anyone - maybe these OAP's would have survived and not died a miserable cold death at the hands of the bastards at Britich Gas, the uncaring company who thinks more about profit and bonuses for the bosses than it ever does for its customeers.
My friend is struggling financially - after the building trade collapsed and he was put out of work - so is trying to start his own business. He just about pays his mortgage every month but had no gas as that was cut off some time ago and now the electric problem, and I do feel for him. I offer him dinner 3 or 4 nights a week and we chill out here several evenings a week as Hammy Hall is heated regardless and this saves him from having to put the heating on. If I was rich rich rich I would organise some kind of charity to help people who have been fucked over at this time by the bankers - who are the reason the country and so many people are struggling, but I am struggling also, although do pay my bills on time.
So remember folks, the Baliff can break into your home if you are not there and it is quite legal. Horrifying as that sounds.
ADDED EXTRA A FEW DAYS LATER
While the utility companies go to court and get permission to break into your home to replace the meter witha 'pay as you go' type - which is what happened to my friend - IT IS ILLEGAL TO FACILITATE THIS IN THE WINTER MONTHS AND IS ONLY ALLOWED IN THE SUMMER - so the Baliffs who broke into my friends WERE breaking the law. If we'd known this, we could have used the police to stop the illegal meter change, but at least now we all know this.
BRITISH GAS - is a vile company that threatened to break my knees some years ago after they made a huge mistake and put the debt collectors in and my health and safety was threatened by their staff. It turned out to all be their mistake and they never - ever - offered an apology or any compensation and I would NEVER EVER DO BUSINESS WITH ANY COMPANY RELATED TO BRITISH GAS .
This comes as no surprise to me as the UK and America have poor food safety standards and the food companies are so powerful and so rich that they think they can act with impunity. Our governments claim to have their ' finger on the problem' while actually knowing bugger all about what the hell is going on, and it is not as if this is the first time pork DNA has been found in chicken and other meat products - and if you were a Muslim or a Jew - this would be of extreme concern. Regardless of religious dietary requirements, it is disgusting that DNA of one animal can be found in another's meat - and it beggars the question as to what else are they doing with our food that is not reported and is missed ? What other potential threats to public health are they cooking up - that could well cause a huge public health problem, if the government has - what appears to be - such weak and ineffective controls over those who produce our food in such an immoral and dangerously inept manner.
With all the scares over the last few years with beef - pigs - chickens and turkeys ( well all birds actually ) and just about all meat products having the potential to cause serious health problems for the masses, this clearly shows that the government and various bodies responsible, have undertaken absolutely nothing to ensure problems from the past do not reoccur - and if this is how we - the public - are to be treated - with complete and utter contempt - then it is about time we - the people - took a stand and showed these companies and organisations what we think of them and their mass farming and mass cruelty and mass production of unsafe foods and irresponsible attitude towards public health. As that is the bottom line
IRRESPONSIBLE ATTITUDE TOWARDS PUBLIC HEALTH AND SAFETY
and as a small business, I can GUARANTEE the local council would be down on me like a ton of hot bricks if I had even one case of food poisoning here - or some other such problem with my kitchens, while multi nation multi million £ companies get away with this kind of horrendous behaviour - and I can bet they will be given compensation ( as one of the largest turkey manufacturers a few years ago introduced Bird Flu to the UK from one of its eastern European turkey plants - which is absolute madness - as they should have been prosecuted and heavily fined and not given compensation ) and this ignorance of correct and proper food production should not go unpunished - HEAVILY.
There are certain drugs given to horses that are dangerous if the meat is then used in the human food chain. Who knows where this horse meat has come from. Beef is well documented these days and each cow has its own passport - so it is well logged and checked. This cannot be said for horses.
Please do not ignore this and just get on with your life and say there is nothing you can do about this; for there is. You can sign the petitions, You can change your buying and eating habits. You can say ' ENOUGH IS ENOUGH' to the multi nationals who lie and deceive and manipulate and you can avoid the shops responsible.
Now it seems that many Findus Lasagnes were made from 100% horse meat, which is not a cross contamination, this is not an accident at the factory or a mistake, this is blatant and deliberate fraud and one has to wonder why these companies, Like Asda, Tesco, and Findus ( to name but a few ) have not got their own procedures in place to randomly test the meat product to check for anything out of the ordinary. Do they just trust these foreign companies to do as they claim ? We do not even trust our own vicars and politicians, bankers and police, so why on God's Earth should we trust a foreign meat producer to do what it correct and decent in a world governed by profit. Is Tesco, Asda and Findus that naive that they believe an eastern block country will adhere to our rules and regulations, when as in this case, it is damned well obvious they do not. How come big companies like Findus do not regulate correctly, or is this just another cock up like Bophol accident in India, or some little man claiming ' It's not my job.'
When is big business going to admit when it makes a mistake and pay the consequences before being made to pay through th courts, and then dragging their feet and hoping people will die so they will not have to pay compensation. When will decent behaviour return to companies and corporations who have a responsibility to the people to behave and offer a genuine product and not something dangerous, poisonous or even simply not made from what they claim it is made from. When will these big companies cut the crap and stop fucking with our food - with our lives - and start to behave like decent human beings for a change.
Or are they aliens and they do not give a damn. ?
'We have all been in abusive relationships, and sometimes we were the one being abused.' Marianne Williams
Our Free Wednesday Evening Mediotation is proviong popular with the locals. We get between 5 and 10 reach week and I am thrilled at those who return every week.
"Have you ever though there might be more to life?
Have you ever thought of the trouble and strife?
Have you ever thought you don't need a wife?
in this system that tells YOU what is right.
Have you ever thought that black could be white
Have you ever wanted dark to be light
Have you ever wished that wrong was right
to stop the arguing and end the fight.
Well yes.....guess what..? You're not alone
cos a mate'o'mine just heard on the phone
that an awakening is happening on this planet...your home.
Its such a good reason to have a moan
So put pen to paper and air your views
make a banner and get on the news,
have regular meetings...invite your crews
for this is the awakening...you know what to do
For this has been predicted through space and time
that the people will end up...not towing the line
and without the state...we'll be just fine
from the 1% and their hidden crimes.
The banks are corrupt
The leaders out of touch
The BBC is weird
and the planets burning up.
So we vote a change...cos we think it matters
we get a different group of mad hatters
or ask for new laws to cover the doors
of the apparent cause, to all the flaws
The government will not like us
on the streets with loud hailers and banners
we shout "make some new laws for these cheating scammers"
but we don't realise we are voting for laws that will hit us as well...like a row of angry hammers.
'Cos we all want change...but asking's not right
We must spread our wings if we really want flight
and not get caught up in their two party fight
Make up your own mind...don't believe the hype
You cant stop wars by bombing for peace
That's like trying to fuck for virginity at least
and when we ask for laws on hateful speech
we take away the freedom of each
So stop being offended of what people say
Its only because YOU hear it that way
Sticks and stones and come what may
Support freedom of speech everyday
So how do we make a new world for the better
I'll tell ya....I'll go through it letter for letter
Turn off your tellys and put on your wellies
'cos growing your own food is where its at.
Remove the fluoride from your diet
Its only there to keep you quiet
Get to know your neighbours and others around
and you'll soon find ...they're all quite sound.
Recognise the difference between statute and law
and the word UNDERSTAND.......it means much more.
For the acts are not real...they come from the sea
they were not meant for you and me.
It's all maritime law....it's corporate rules
and I'm sorry to say ...we have all been fooled.
There are very few laws for women and men
no harm....no loss...no damage...that's them
It's just a game...the game of life
you count yourself in when you use the dice,
and the dice is your name........
I'm watching you frown
For your names property of the Crown
Withholding information from people should be a crime. We believe is sharing knowledge and wisdoms freely, and if anything on this web site has been used without permission, then our apologies. Please inform us and if you wish, it will be removed. We do not make money from this web site and is part of a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE of Hamilton Hall.
The poem above was written by Christopher Charles and you are welcome to re print and re use it and please always give a credit to the author and to this web site. If we find you are making a profit from it or stealing its content for other financial gain and taking the worthy praise that Christopher Charles - in my opinion, deserves for this brilliant piece, then we will seek legal action.
Jason Marsh, Lauren Klein, Jeremy Adam Smith, Yes! Magazine: In the year just past, new findings added nuance, depth and even some caveats to our understanding of the science of a meaningful life. Here are 10 of the scientific insights that made the biggest impression on us in 2012
I found this the most powerful piece I think I have ever heard and it moved me deeply.
I urge you to listen with your eyes shut - ignore the video for the first hearing, and just throw yourself into the message
Thanks to Chris who introduced me to this
Here are the words below :-
By Garret John LoPorto on September 22, 2010
|ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits and troublemakers - all you free spirits and pioneers - all you visionaries and non-conformists ...
Everything that the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you.
You see things others don't. You are hardwired to change the world. Unlike 9 out of 10 people - your mind is irrepressible - and this threatens authority. You were born to be a revolutionary.
You can't stand rules because in your heart you know there's a better way.
You have strengths dangerous to the establishment - and it wants them eliminated, So your whole life you've been told your strengths were weaknesses - Now I'm telling you otherwise.
Your impulsivity is a gift - impulses are your key to the miraculous,
Your distractibility - is an artifact of your inspired creativity,
Your mood swings - reflect the natural pulse of life, they give you unstoppable energy when you're high and deep soulful insight when you're low,
Been diagnosed with a "disorder"? That's society's latest way to deny it's own illness by pointing the finger at you.
Your addictive personality is just a symptom of your vast underused capacity for heroic, creative expression and spiritual connection. your utter lack of repression, your wide eyed idealism, your unmitigated open mind - didn't anyone ever tell you?!
These are the traits shared by the greatest pioneers and visionaries and innovators, revolutionaries, procrastinators and drama queens, activists on the social scene, space cadets and mavericks, philosophers and derelicts, business suits flying fighter jets, football stars and sex addicts, celebrities with ADD, alcoholics who seek novelty, first responders - prophets and saints, mystics and change agents.
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all affected by the way - We are - all - the same - you know 'cuz we're all attracted to the flame - You know in your heart that there's a natural order to life, something more sovereign than any man-made rules or laws could ever express
This natural order is called "the Way."
The Way is the eternal substrate of the cosmos. It guides the very current of time and space. The Way is known by some as the Will of God, Divine Providence, the Holy Spirit, the implicate order, the Tao, reverse-entropy, life-force, but for now we'll simply call it "the Way."
The Way is reflected in you as the source of your inspiration, the source of your passions, your wisdom, your enthusiasm, your intuition, your spiritual fire - love.
The Way takes the chaos out of the Universe and breathes life into it by reflecting divine order. The Way, when experienced by the mind, is genius, when perceived through the eyes is beauty, when felt with the senses is grace, when allowed into the heart ... is love.
Most people cannot sense the Way directly. ... But then there are the Wayseers. The keepers of the flame. Wayseers have an unexplainable knack for just knowing the Way.
They sense it in their very being. They can't tell you why or how they arrived at the right answer. They just know it in their core. They can't show their work. So don't ask. Their minds simply resonate with the Way. When the Way is present, so are they.
While others are blind to it, and society begs you to ignore it, "the Way" stirs you inside. Neurological repression blocks most people's awareness of the Way - censoring all thoughts and impulses from the unconscious is their prefrontal cortex - the gestapo of the brain - nothing which violates its socialized programming even gets through; but your mind is different. your mind has been cracked wide open to the Way - by some miraculous genetic trait, some psychotropic chemical or maybe even by the will of your very soul, your brain's reward pathways have been hijacked - dopamine employed to overthrow the fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex - now your brain is free of repression, your mind free of censorship, your awareness exposed to the turbulent seas of the unconscious - through this open doorway divine light shines into your consciousness showing you the Way. This is what makes you a Wayseer.
90% of human civilization is populated with those who's brains are blocked to the Way. Their brains are hardwired to enforce the social programming indoctrinated since birth.
Unlike you they cannot break out of this programming, because they have not yet experienced the necessary revolution of mind. These programmed people take social institutions and rules very seriously. Society is full of games programmed to keep peoples' minds occupied so they will not revolt.
These games often cause sick fixations on peculiar protocols, power structures, taboos and domination - all subtle forms of human bondage - This distinct form of madness is not only tolerated by the masses but insisted upon. The programmed ones believe in rules so forcefully they become willing to destroy anyone who violates them.
Wayseers are the ones who call their bluff. Since Wayseer minds are free to reject social programming, Wayseers readily see social institutions for what they are - imaginary games.
Wayseers comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.
Helping those who are lost in these games and refuse to help themselves is a calling of many Wayseers.
Since Wayseers are the ones who keep contact with the original source of reality - they are able to disrupt societal conventions and even governments to realign humanity with the Way.
The Wayseers are an ancient lineage. A kind of priesthood - carriers of the flame - ones "in the know." There must always be Wayseers to reform the dizzying psychotic spinning gears of society - giant mindless hamster wheels obscuring the pure blue sky, keeping humanity shackled in a darkened cage - so Wayseers are called - to shed light on the madness of society - to continually resurrect the timeless transcendent Spirit of Truth -
Wayseers reveal this divine truth by devoting themselves to the birth of some creative or disruptive act expressed through art or philosophy, innovations to shake up industry, revolutions for democracy, coups that topple hypocrisy, movements of solidarity, changes that leave a legacy, rebellions against policy, spirit infused technology, moments of clarity, things that challenge barbarity, watersheds of sincerity, momentous drives for charity
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all affected by the way -
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -
This is your calling, Wayseer
You've found your tribe.
Died Sunday August 19th 2012 - aged, I think 43.
and you know what, I don't think I have a picture of him - after a computer crash a few years ago where thousands of photos were lost, and now all I have is my memory - that picture in my head.
I first met Andy when he joined a group I was runnning called 'The Gay Spiritual Group' in London, and this would be around 1996-97. He was instantly a keen member and quickly joined the committee to help with the running of the group. Once a month we hosted a Social and would get anything up to 65 members in my London home and a really good spiritual evening would be had, relaxed and informal, with people just talking and laughing, and at around 9pm I would introduce a speaker for 30 minutes or so, and one of these evenings, Andy wanted to give a talk about an experience he had recently had.
He was really nervous and with a little encouragement from me - he stood and introduced himself and gave a wonderful, lighthearted account of a recent trip to Egypt that had changed his life, and it was a really lovely thing to be a part of and to hear this London cockney lad - offering such a gentle story.
For Andy was a little Tough Ted... an east end lad you might not - at one time - have trusted with your wallet or car keys - as he had been a cheeky little rascall when he was a teenager and in private he would tell me some of the things he had got up to in the past which while illegal, did make you smile broadly and laugh out loud... and while you felt for the victim who had had their car stolen - or whatever - it was never meant to be malicious or evil, it was just lads messing about, and we would laugh. But all that was years behind him and he donated a great deal of his time to helping others, through voluntary charity work and in his private life as well, and he was a very thoughtful and kind, considerate and loving man.
When I moved to Hamilton Hall he would come down and help us paint and decorate - or more often - he would actually bring a friend with him who he paid to do the work for him as his disabilities through various illnesses brought about through his HIV made it difficult for him to do some things physically, and he was thrilled every time to be able to offer something and happy to be a part of Hamilton Hall, and I was very pleased to have him part of my life.
I remember one long hot summer, maybe around 2004 - he was down for a couple of weeks with his dog - a Doberman named Scooby ( naturally ) and we would sit in the garden until late at night with candles lit all over the place and just chill out and laugh and share stories from our past - as we actually had a lot in common - and these are happy memories. His cheecky chappy grin and laugh won him many friends here and one elderly friend fell madly in love with him;- in a really nice and sweet way - and every time I mentioned Andy to him he would smile broadly and laugh... I knew his health was up and down over the years and I would always be inviting him down for a free stay and more often than not, he would either come down or be too busy at home, and all of a sudden he has having problems with his bowels and had already had an operation giving him a temporary colostomy and when he visited he was so up, so cheerful and so positive, he was such an inspiration even though I think he was going through a great deal. During a trip to Egypt where the pain became so great he increased his pain medication, he decided upon return to just tell the doctors to take his bowel right out and give him a full colostomy as he could not live with the pain and it was obviously not getting any better, and this was done almost immediately. He laughed about not needing to douch any more and was so positive all through it. But it seems things went from bad to worst and although he was always up-beat when I phoned, he eventually moved into a hospice - he said for pain management - but within a couple of weeks his phone was switched off and he had died. A few days later his sister called and told me the news and as soon as she said she was Andy's sister, I knew - for I had had to go through my own sisters phone book years ago after her death - phoning people and telling them - and I just knew. Instantly my tummy did a flip, my heart missed a beat and a tear came to my eye. Poor Andy, I wish he'd let me know how ill he was, I would have visited him in the hospice, but I think he didn't want a fuss - didn't want people to see him in those last days and wanted us to remember him as he was, and he left this world peacefully and as he had lived it , on his own terms.
He also chose not to have a funeral service of any kind, and the family were to be told - after the fact - that he had been cremated by the funeral company after it was all over. Some would have a hard time with this - as saying your final farewell in front of a coffin is traditional and what we all expect, but not when it causes such grief for people. Andy hated fuss, and so chose to leave this life as quietly as he could and leave happy memories and not grief in his wake.
No flowers. No hymns.
No getting to the place on time and having to wear something black - which he would have hated and no eulogydescribing his life in nine minutes.
I was upstairs late last night with a friend and Andy and I had always shared a cigarette or two together and evenings just talking and laughing, so I did just that with Matt who works here and we shared a few smokes, talked about loads of things including Andy - and just had one of those evenings where we were giggling like school girls... and all the while aware of Andy and how he would have loved to be with us one last time, and bless him.
Getting older for me is fun, I see so much of other older people in myself as I come closer to my 60's - people who are older than I am and now I am catching them up, and the one sadness is remembering all the sweet people whose lives have come to an end so much younger and so much sooner, and it makes me sad. I know there are always new friends to meet, new faces to laugh with and new evenings to share a smoke and a giggle and I give thanks for the ever changing aspect of my daily life and the wonderous way it moves through the years, and there are times I remember back and see a face in my minds eye - of Andy - or someone else I held dear but probably never got the chance to really tell them how important they were to me, and I try harder with my 'today friends' to let them know how much I care and love them, and as fast and as busy as my days are, I always remember and keep their memory alive within my mind, my body and my soul and in this, they are still with me. Still alive and still making me smile. For I don't ever want to forget.
Bless you Andy.
This is a piece of music he enjoyed and is to be played in the chapel.CLICK HERE
This is a first for Hamilton Hall and I have never invested so much in an event here before. Truth is - I saw Simin Rowe channelling a few weeks ago and absolutely loved what I saw and heard and it was just so moving, and immediately knew it would be a good thing to invite him to Hamilton Hall and have a channelling session - and you are invited to join us.
I knew several people in London who were Trance Channellers and it is a phenominal thing to witness and to be a part of.
For those who do not understand - a Trance Channeller is able to allow their consciousness to go ' sit in the corner - or visit a beach somewhere' and leave their body available for an energy - a spirit - to take over the body and speak through it. Some cannot open the eyes or move around,- it is just vocal. Some, like Simon, the spirit is able to use his eyes and move his arms but not his legs and he just stands still and talks. In Simons case, he was told not to wear his glasses as spirit sees clearly while Simon needs glasses and this caused confusion. Once in a trance state, which only takes a few moments, the wisdoms and conversation shared is breathtaking and most certaily, as clever as someone may be - the answers and the words shared are too quick, too spot on and too accurate for any mere mortal and all too often you are left speechless just listening with your mouth open in awe. Tingles go up and down your spine and you know - you can feel - that you are in the presence of someone / something from another place - another dimension or reality - and it brings tears to your eyes.
You really have to see it to believe it, and even then, I am sure there are those who will doubt. I am no' easy push-over' and I have met a lot of charlatans in my time and it is easy for the spiritual world to become a little bit like a circus freak show with fake this and fake that and all that happens is people are seperated from their money.
This kind of thing I am strongly against and we have had a few people state that Hamilton Hall is NOT a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE and that I actually take a huge wage and have loads of expensive holidays abroad and it is all a con - when the truth is we constantly struggle financially;- I have not taken a wage in 13 years - and went to Cleethorpes last year for a week staying with a friends parents in a static caravan on a massive trailer park full of kids - and although I actually had a wonderful time, this is not really the kind of holiday I would choose if I had a lot of money. ( I would love to go to India and visit loads of the spiritual sites - and the Buddhist centres in Burmah and Thailand and I hardly think Cleethorpes is in the same league - but the point is - what I offer here at Hamilton Hall - is for real - from my heart and I gave up a life of riches and grand style in London prior to coming here - and chose to open Hamilton Hall as a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE . in order to share this wonderous spiritual journey and in order to - on occasions, bring new and exciting things to your attention, like Simon Rowe..)
What I saw Simon Rowe do, is very much for real and I was very moved.
You can click on some links that take you to some of Simon's youtube pages on our Spiritual Links icon to the left.
Being a huge STAR TREK fan - I read an amazing book called ' ONLY PLANET OF CHOICE some years ago about a Trance Channeller and Gene Rodenbury was one of the people who questioned the Channeller - and huge amounts of the wisdoms the spirit shared - is in Star Trek. For when you know what you are looking at, Star Trek ( more so the newer programmes like Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and especially Voyager ) is crammed with spiritual truths - and these came through a Trance Channeller. Reading the book you can see where so many of his ideas came from and how brilliantly he shared high spiritual truths with his audiance while masquarading it in sci fi so as not to loose peoples attention. Bit like the film 'The Matrix. Trance Channelling has been around since the dawn of time although many would have been called witches and burned for what Simon does - or more to the point - killed by the church because the wisdoms and truths that come forth through the channellers phyical body from spirit, scared the church who killed anyone who spoke truths that were not compatable with the massively edited Biblical truths - many of which originally came through channel as well.
( Gay men were bound together and put on the bonfires because many gay men were intuitive / psychic / channellers and the church feared the truths spoken by these men and so burned them on the fires - putting them with the bound kindling wood at the start of the fire, causing a slow and very painful death - and anything that is bound together is called - - - HAVE YOU GUESSED IT YET - - - - A FAGGOT.)
I have made the evening into a 'happening' where you can come and have an early dinner with us here at 5pm ready for the evening with Simon at 7pm - and this is just £25 per person :- or you can book in for the weekend with meals and refreshments included for the 2 night stay and be a part of something special in that manner. The choice is yours. I do hope you will come and be a part of this special evening with Simon Rowe as I am sure you will be moved and inspired.
I am so looking forward to it.
Saturday June 22nd 2012 - Early dinner at 5pm - Simin starts at 7pm.
who worked at Hamilton Hall from December 2008 - January 2011
CONTACT THE POLICE BELOW
BUT NOT IF YOU JUST WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT HE HAS DONE
Please call Police Constable 2557 TRENT -
Incident / Reference number C:11:C:8746 -
on 01202/01305 22 22 22
or e mail her on
otherwise e mail John Bellamy on
Since Kristian left us because the police were catching up with him, I have had loads of phone calls and e mails from those who have been burned by him over the years and it seems he is not just an opportunistic thief - who sees an opportunity and grabs it - but someone who has made a career out of stealing, lying and manipulating people and it has brought much sadness, grief and heartache to those he has conned. Stealing money from a man who was ill with PCP and on deaths door is dreadful. Conning an old lady out of her life savings is unthinkable. Stealing charity money while pretending to have cancer - leaves me speachless. I truly thought better of him than this and it is sad that after experiencing him, it leaves you distrusting and questioning everyones motives - which is sad - and like everyone else before me, I am sad for Kristian.
Like many, I do miss Kristian, even for all his lies and cheating ways. he has a heart of gold when it suits him and he is the kindest and most thoughtful man I have met in a long time and I don't care to think that all his kindness was just a way of getting around me, gaining my trust and friendship so he could con me. I care to think that somewhere inside this man, is a caring soul who is just caught in a trap and cannot find an exit, even though I honestly offered to help him, he still ran and out of fear, has never looked back.
He is such a bright, intelligent, presentable and hard working man that he could have the best job - earning a lot of money - and have friends and respect - instead of the loathing, the hatred and the bile filled words that I have read from others on e mail. He could have it all, and all through his time here at hamilton Hall he was desperate - absolutely desperate - for friends and respect and worked so hard at befriending others - and bullshitting us about how everyone loved and adored him and made up such stories about his life and background that always proved to be false - and it saddens me that the people who did be friend him and he became close to - he ended up stealing from them. Find out their weak points - who had money - who had anything - he could steal - and to have absolutely no conscience - no guilt, no remorse and no feelings at all for those he has harmed, sends a very sad and pathetic message about how this man doesn't understand the basic - the most basic - of things - LOVE.
His family seem to have disowned him. Friends last as long as he is in town and before he is back on the run again with the police after him and friends left in shock and horror at what he has done, and I am desperately sorry for all concerned.
I have thought many times since Kristian vanished about deleting this page on my web site, but then I hear in my head the pain and anguish in peoples conversations with me on the phone - since Kristian vanished and since I let it be known what he had done - from others who had been stung by him, and that alone keeps this page on this web site. One man is so destroyed that he cannot get on with his life as he doesn't know who he can trust, and this is a common thread from many who have been 'taken in' by Kristian and now feel very hurt and betrayed.
Yet I cannot fathom why he has allowed this to be a way of life. he is a wonderful man who could really be in a good well paid job, and he has no one to blame but himself. It is such a shame, especially as I offered him a way out but he could noit accept it as it meant telling me thr truth and - to be honest - I think he is unaware of what the truth is any more - or certainly - afraid of his own truths, and is so caught up in the Walter Mitty - that as he gets older, he will find it harder and harder.
I feel desperately sorry for everyone concerned. Including Kristian.
He was certainly my best worker - ever.
Until proven guilty in a court of law - even though I have evidence and a confession from Kristians own lips that he stole from me, all this is conjective until proven in court. It seems his rights are more protected in law than those he robbed from and his human rights are paramount above his victims. The law is an ass and the police have done precious little in finding him as he is a low priority case - and as usual, the victim is offered little respect and I was even told off by the police women above for actually putting this on my web site - but as they are doing nothing to find him, I shall continue with this in the hope that someone - somewhere - will read this, see him, and get him facing his accusers in a court of law so these people can have closure.
The human rights of the victim seems to come second to those of the person who has abused them. As far as I am concerned, as soon as a thief picks up a brick to throw through my window to rob my home :- As soon as a mugger spots a victim and takes ain :- As soon as anyone puts in motion any kind of illegal act against another - THEIR HUMAN RIGHTS SHOULD COME SECOND TO THE VICTIM - WHO DID NOT ASK TO BE ROBBED, RAPED, MUGGED ETC. and the manner - all too often, that the legal authorities offer the victim is second rate compared to the rights of the criminal. Too many times the victim is left with a life of fear because not only have they been abused by a bad person, they have been abuse dby the very system that is suppose to protect them.
My Mother died 21st September 2011
by John Bellamy
Like a lot of you out there, I have a Mother who moved from her warden assisted flat to a nursing care home as her mental and physical health meant she was no longer able to look after herself any longer, and there were many times when it made my heart weep. I was talked out of looking after her in my home and while my heart desperately wanted to look after her, my head told me I would not manage and it was not a good idea.
A while ago she had a bladder infection and she was in bed and very distressed - staring out of unseeing eyes that did not seem to focus, grabbing with her hands at anything and everything close - ie: the bars at the side of the hospital bed had been put up to keep her in bed as she kept sliding out and staggering up the ward - and it was quite a distressing site for many to witness - and she was chattering away - with words that did not follow any cohesive sense and while she knew my name and - kind of - that I was her son - all sorts of other family members names came into it and I don't really think she knew me, Her confused state was sad to witness.
My Mother - a bright, intelligent fashion model who was one of London's top models in the 1940's and 1950's and walked the catwalk, also sang with many famous dance bands, for she had a superb voice - and who raised 3 children, was reduced to this.
A tall proud women with a voice and an opinion of her own and no fear of speaking her mind,- a woman who was married 3 times during her life and who put up with a lot,- A woman who had lived alone for over 20 years since her 3rd husband - my Step Father died and who lost her only daughter ( my sister ) and her baby ( my niece ) around 20 years ago when both died a few months apart ,- A women who has always been accepting of my gay lifestyle and who loved my friends and boyfriends totally, even if not being as accepting of my brothers wife - always being a dreadful mother-in-law and a women who all those 'mother-in-law jokes' must have been written about,- And a woman who was stubborn, difficult and sometimes a women who would make the angels cry because GOD she could NEVER admit fault and take responsibility and simply apologize, and a woman who has caused much family turmoil because of her refusal - point blank refusal - to ever accept that she was ever wrong about anything - And a woman who admitted to me some years ago that she had never been in love - never really knew what love was and that - despite being married 3 times and raising a family, had never really understood what that mysterious word 'love' - had meant - and while in her way she has loved and has been loved, she never really comprehended what it meant, and for that, I was always desperately sorry.
Sorry that she never understood how we - her children - felt about her and sorry that she always felt the need to - somehow - try and manipulate the situation to suit herself all the time. Sad that she never realised we would do whatever she wanted because we loved her and not because she was being manipulative. Sad that she always thought every situation was about her and sad that she felt such jealously and resentment towards anyone who 'stole her limelight' - even her own grandchildren. Sad that she resented her son being a sensational husband and father to his children and sad that she felt such resentment towards those who had something she felt she had lost out on, when the truth was - she hadn't - for she was loved - she was very cared for - and while she never understood this and while she felt alone and unloved, other people were hurt and betrayed by her time and time again because she simply didn't get it. She never really understood,- and that saddens me.
Poor Betty - my poor Mother, and as much as we have told her over the years and as much as we have openly shown our affection and considered her in our lives - she still never got it - never realised and never allowed herself to be part of the family - preferring to isolate herself and say that she wasn't wanted all the time when the exact opposite was the truth, and we just got fed up with it.
Towards the end, to see her bedridden and shouting for help all the time, was not good. I could have visited more often, and she understood in her way.
Whatever it was she lost - and whatever it was she lacked - and for all her mistakes and all her selfish ways, she was my Mother, I love her dearly, and no-one - NO -ONE - should be made to go through the kind of thing at the end of their lives, and the cruelty metered out by a government and health authority SO AGAINST EUTHANASIA beggars belief. My Mother would not have wanted this, and with a society where 80% of people asked agree that euthanasia is the best thing in some situations such as this, I know she didn't suffer at the end, which came quite quickly, and that she can now be with my sister, her family and Jesus - in peace - which is what she spoke of.
I would tell her that it was okay - she didn't have to keep fighting and being scared - that she could go to Heaven and see Jesus and the family any time she wanted, and that she, and they, would all be young again, that she would be singing once more and surrounded by those who loved her, and that her Father - who she never knew - would welcome her with open arms - along with Jesus. She felt reassured with this and while her body outlived her mind - I know she would not have wanted to live like this. Some people need permission to 'let go' and find peace, and my Mother hung on in there and died 21st September 2011 aged 89. She wasn't ill - she wasn't suffering anything more than being bed ridden and with dementia - her body was strong and she just seemed to 'give up' and slipped into unconsciousness and died within an hour, peacefully, and for that I thank God and the Universe.
So my Mother has now become a memory and one I shall treasure always. I shall tell stories, laugh and get angry, and always with love and affection, for while my Mother exasperated us dearly, she was a character - and strong willed individual and she died how she lived, in her own time and in her own way. I can hardly believe I will not see her next week or next month, when I visit and I comb her hair and paint her nails and we talk around in circles and --- but like so many people, life goes on and we will have her cremated and sprinkle her ashes over Evening Hill - a delightful park with a stunning view over Poole and the harbour and at sunset it is simply delightful, and I often visit with friends to enjoy a fish and chip supper from a local takeaway, and I shall remember her and be thankful that she was my Mother, who I loved dearly.