Saturday January 31 , 2015

John's Blog

'What I say - is responsible, and I am responsible, for saying it.' All views shared here are just my own.


Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 









I often see these awards and think - well - who voted that the best pub / club / gay venue - as no one asked me and who voted it the best ???   ... and consider it all a load of bollocks to get you to spend more money in their bar.  Trip Advisor;-  while I say they are tossers and a waste of time - this certificate of excellence is an award because of the amount of positive feedback we have received from those who have stayed here and THAT is wonderful and I am proud and thrilled about that.  Compared to many other venues, we could easily be a 3 or 4 star B&B but I do not buy into the tourist board schemes which - again - are just money spinners for the council - and I do not waste my money with something that has such little meaning. 

66% of visitors attend alone.
22% attend  with a partner / friend
6% come on business


New Year Joke:

When I found out I was Bi Polar, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.



India just made gay love illegal!

Two Indian Supreme Court judges just decided that gay sex is illegal.


But if we act fast we can help reverse this crazy backwards ruling.

Men and women in India now face police harassment and life imprisonment. This hateful decision is being met with outrage, and if we now show India that outlawing love is making them an international embarrassment we can get the Indian Parliament to fast track passing a law that the judges have to respect.

Sign now to help love conquer fear in India. When we reach 1 million we’ll get all our names written on hundreds of giant hearts ringing the Indian parliament, then place prominent ads showing that the world will no longer accept making love illegal.

Join me in this campaign here, and let love conquer fear:


       JB Comments: 

With more and more countries turning their backs on LGBT rights - like Russia and now India,  I do have to wonder WTF is going on.  How come we seem to be going backwards instead of forwards - and why governments are reverting to old fashioned belief structures from the past rather than look forward and - with open hearts for everyone,  learn and premote  tollerance.  Damning certain parts of any community to destruction is not a healthy way forward for society and jailing, beating and even killing those from the LGBT community is certainly not going to make it go away - it will just shrink into the shaddows and create a whole underbelly of society in hiding for fear of their lives. 

If we go back into the Christian past,  with the church for centures damning gay man and burning them on the bonfires as witches (and the gay men were bound together and put at the base of the fire with the bound kindling wood - and anything that is bound together is calkled a FAGGOT ) and other gay men went back into the closet - got married and lived a ' straight lifestyle' in hiding.  Their children and their grandchildren then passed on the gay gene so that future generations of LGBT mena dn women would survive.   Maybe, just maybe, had the church of the middle ages been more acepting of the LGBT men and women in their villages - and allowed them the right to live with their partners and not persecute them,  maybe - just maybe - the gay gene might have not been passed down
through the generations and we could well have a much smaller LGBT community today - Who know - that could be absolute twoddle or it could be a viable truth.   We shall never know, but we do know that by damning those from the LGBT community - moving backwards in thinking and living a life in fear - does not create a healthy environment for anyone, as after the LGBT's who is next - fat people - smokers - to say nothing of going backwards and turning against black and asians, muslims and jews and just about anyone and everyone who see things differently to those who have been brain washed by the media ?

Dangerous times and we cannot be complacent and ignore these facts that we are still under attack and must never rest and be arrogant.

Not a healthy way forward for a society in the 21st century.




These resolutions I SWEAR I will keep to my promise


9)  SAVE £10,000 THIS YEAR

I am sure I will think of tons of other things I do not intend doing this year - and I shall add them if and when they come to me.
So what about your list of things you do not intend changing...

and to those annoying - irritating little queens who like to read every word as  gospel and offer an attitude and bitchy comments when nothing is warranted,  this is a joke. Some of the above may be serious and some actually not so serious and before you offer your opinion,  LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU - PISS ME OFF - and you will be dismissed as  ' THE WEAKEST LINK.'


This Christmas video is great fun and clever:- DOGS AND CATS DINE



After being apart for 30 years - my American X lover and I have finally decided we cannot communicate any longer. Love him to bits and I always will, but he drives me mad with bullshit all the time and I seek truth - and not bullshit. Sad - but I cannot carry that around with me any longer. It hurts when you realise someone you thought better of - is an asshole after all.  ( So I am available ... ha ha )

The above was part of my January Blog sent out recently and I have to say,  I have received more e mails in return from you all than  I ever have  concerning this part of what was a long blog, and a very big thankyou to all those who wrote offering understanding and sympathy. 
It seems that I struck a chord with many with this and many have stated they are going through much the same, even if not for as long as 30 years, but it seems many of us hold out redundant hope that some people may prove themselves more worthy, better human beings or even just nicer than we think,  and all too often we are proven completely correct - they are assholes and will always be assholes and when we eventually realise this fact and GIVE UP TRYING,  life is so much easier without them. 

Trying as we do to show them their errors, and where we can see right through the bullshit,  and where we try and make these fucked up people, better people, kinder, more thoughtful and understanding of others and help them be less screwed up,  does not always serve us and there will be times when our hard work and compassion pays off and people do actually change for the better,  but some are lost to us and we really need to learn when to let go and move away - emotionally and physically - for our own sake as well as theirs.

After 30 years of knowing how fucked up this man was, I have fought, and I mean fought, to keep a friendship going - long distance - and it has been a fight over the years with many ' this is the last time '  - but somehow I refused to give in and accept defeat as I have always considered him more worthy - a better person
crying out for help - and I turned my back decades ago on my sister who eventually died of vodka - as after years of batteling with her to try and get her off the booze, the abuse in return eventually forced me to give up and leave her to her own devices, and she was dead within 2 years -  a very sad story - and I swore I would never turn my back on a friend / family member / lover again -  and I never have - until now.  Strange thing is - as soon as I sent the final e mail stating that this time he was dead to me - that his e mail address was blocked and I wanted - absolutely - nothing more to do with him - I felt calmer, more at peace - within my soul - and I know I have done the right thing. I know the angels - the universe - has heard my pain, felt my tears, experienced the abuse and listened to my prayers - and I am strangely calm today, even if a bit sad for him.  

So as much as he claims to have changed and how I know nothing of who he is these days - even this is bullshit - as he has not offered me that new side of himself at all, he has offered me just as much abuse and emotional baggage as he ever did, and he has proven to me that he really has not changed at all.  BUT maybe - just maybe - he HAS changed, he IS a better person and IS loved and adored by many as a kind, thoughtful gentle man - and maybe - just maybe - it is ME he resents, is jealous of and wants to abuse - and maybe there is nothing I can do about that.   Maybe he knows, deep down inside, that I am his last chance. Maybe he is afraid of the healing space I offer and maybe he just resents the fact that he has a very small penis and I have  a great big one. 

Maybe the fact we have slogged it out for so long, is that he desperatelty wants the help and guidance I offer but pushes it away like many addicts -  and then it is an excuse to have another drink - another snort - another excuse why life isn't fair to them, when they bring it all on themselves,  and when we eventually turn away and ' abandom them' - they take it all as 'poor me - no one cares and I am alone'  

There does, however, come a time when emotional exhaustion takes over and we realise we have had enough. Times is up. The final bell has been rung. The game is over. Time to move on, a little sad as I personally love this man a great deal and feel his pain and anguish,  but will not allow his abuse - his fucked up ranting and his neurotic attitude to affect me any longer.  This man who has utterly disgusted me with his manner. This man who has acted lower than low. This man who will always be in my thoughts and dreams,  and even in my heart,  is now no longer a part of my emotional life and as far as I am concerned, he is dead and gone.

Hard ?   Yes maybe - and I sincerely hope I can keep to it - but for survival and for my own inner strength - there are certain people we need to dismiss as dead to us in order to be who we are - and Darryl is one of those now... it just took a long time for me to give up on him,  but he has forced my hand and now I retreat to safety within my own soul and pray someone else is there for him;- that they will not let him away with the constant - and I mean CONSTANT - bullshit lies all the time and  that he finds happiness and joy and stops the abusive lifestyle he has known his whole life,-  for he is the abuser and even tried to kill me on two occasions decades ago,  and I pray that he finds peace within his heart and most of all, that he learns to  cope with the truth that lies within him and the truth that makes him who he is  and not the fantasy version of himself he assumes is accurate and real.



Hi John    Just read this, and completely feel for you with the American. I have been moping all week about a man who uses me and is not honest. I don't want to be alone, and had high hopes for this man, but have to make the decision for myself that he is not a good person for me. Tough choices, but it still makes me very sad. I'm sitting in a spa basically hiding from the world right now, trying to get over it.  Just letting you know you are not alone.

Thank you John for your lovely update. Hearing from you always reminds me of happy times spent at HH ! Wishing you all the best for 2015 and let's hope that the universe provides just in time ;-) Will drop by later in the year when things have warmed up a bit

Big hugs from

Simon in Berlin


Dear John: And a Happy New Year to you John! Your newsletter once again projects the warmth and friendship of Hamilton Hall! You have taken a massive step forward in being able to let go of the past 30 years. I am still struggling with discarding a past relationship, living in perpetual hope that everything could remain as it first was, but not so! We all grow, change and adapt and eventually reach a point when we have no choice but to accept what once was can no longer be. And yes, who needs the bullshit! Robert sounds absolutely perfect as support for your work and ideals at HH and I am so pleased that you have someone reliable to help. I look forward to meeting him! I have been back in London for just over a week now and it seems I will be able to take some time off work again during early March. Once I have the confirmed dates I will call you to make a booking for at least a few days. Having spent 10 weeks in the glorious South African sunshine, I am finding it difficult to cope with the short, grey and cold days here. So right now I can't think of a better tonic than Bournemouth, being naked at Hamilton Hall and relaxing in your undeniably unique hospitality!
Fond regards and big hugs.

Hey there John, a Happy & Prosperous 2015 to you !
I always enjoy your Blog, full of news & your great conversation, I almost feel that I'm there talking to you !  I guess Missy must be calming down, no trials & tribulations this  time !Enjoy your supper this evening, it sounds delicious, I'm having Lasagne, first time I've made it, so here's hoping it's good !  You'll meet that special someone this year, I'm in no doubt, 'cos you're a very Special person.  Take care, with kind thoughts from a FREEZING Scotland.


Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards

I have been asked by a customer if he would mind if he put me forward for the Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards for all the free holidays and support things I offer locally - and I am thrilled to have been asked.  Not sure how an x hooker will manage or that it will even be processed but it was a real thrill when he asked if I would mind if he nominated me as he respects the work I do - blah blah blah - and this is reward - an honour - in itself.


Dear John: Read your piece about being nominated for an award , I have awarded you the highest award in the land for what you do at Hamilton Hall. 
A good friend of mine died late last year ( November 2014 ) and he first attended Hamilton Hall with me around 8 years ago for a Massage Workshop, and while I thought he would hate it, he actually loved it and wanted to attend as often as possible, and you might remember Norman from Knightsbridge ( an elderly Canadian gentleman retired and in his 70's )
His family lived in Canada and he had few friends in the UK although had lived here for many years and through his various visits to Hamilton Hall he met others who lived near him in London and formed a great little group of guys who would meet at various museums, art galleries etc.  every week and just spend a day doing something nice with other like minded gay men.  It all started at Hamilton Hall and he was always very greatful to you for your venue and would always laugh and smile his head off whenever he spoke about you.  I think he loved how you would shock with your outragous stories at the breakfast table and you certainly brought a smile to an old mans face.
He died of old age - went to bed one evening and simply died peacefully in his sleep.  He will be missed.
Thank you John. Big thank you.  Robert M.

Thank you Robert. I remember Norman - and yourself - very well and he was an incredible man and great fun. He will be sorely missed and I - kinda - knew he was dying the last time I saw him here and knew - inside - that it was for the last time.  No idea why I felt that,  call it intuition.  Thank you for your kind words and I am glad to have known Norman and to have brought a little sunshine into his world.  He will be missed. John



Just had a very odd phone call from someone asking about the naked - clothing optional aspect of Hamilton Hall and he actually asked me if I had ever thought about the cleanliness aspect of men being naked on the furniture, and I was slightly taken aback.  I told him that of course I had thought about peoples  asses on my furniture and how we have towels galore and it absolutely amazed me how a complete stranger assumes I had never considered this - as a clothing optional venue - and presumably he assumed I am some stupid plonker with zero brain cells and how I could not possibly have thought about this aspect of running a clothing optional venue - for almost 15 years - all by myself and without this man bringing it to my awareness.   I was actually stuck for words for a few moments - as I was being treated like some fool,  and I responded gently and quietly but really wanted to tell this man that FOR GOD'S SAKE, OF COURSE I HAVE THIS COVERED - WTF DOES HE THINK WE ARE HERE - BLOODY MORONS ?

I tell you,  some times you despair for human kinds future when some people are so foolish and assume everyone else to be the same.


A woman just called and said that she was on my web site and how much she was enjoying it and that while we are a men only hotel, she was fascinated with how I spoke on the web site like a normal human being and not some corporate model of professional service with cold indiffernce.  She said she was giggling and enjoiying it and had been for several hours ... so that was a really pleasant and cherrished call and thankyou to her. It cheered up my afternoon.





Every single event that takes place at Hamilton Hall comes from myself - every idea, every notion and just about everything;-  and as much as I ask you all what you want - the response is zero.  It is the same for any gay venue, yahoo group and charity - when it comes down to it,  99% of people are somewhat apathetic and seem to expect someone else to do it all for them. Joining in and taking part seems impossible for some people and it is as if their GET UP AND GO HAS GOT UP AND GONE and it is left to the very few to organise, plan and facilitate and then feel very dispondant when input from others is so dreadfully low.  Many great events and workshops etc. are cancelled because of lack of input and unless someone else organises every little detail,  most seem content to do nothing.  Your help below is requested.  You can sut and paste onto an e mail and address to


As a MEN ONLY HOTEL - one of only a few left in the UK today that is strictly men only
and the only residential venue in the UK hosting more events and theme weekends than anywhere else -




One suggestion I would make is to open up for cash one night visits - it sometimes makes it much easier.  Ry xx

How about a Tight Jeans weekend. Regards Malcolm..

John: Would love to spend a whole weekend in nappies and diapers.  Any plans for a weekend for us kids into our babyhood.  Robert.



winner of X Factor 2013



X Factor Winner 2014



Christmas and New Year at Hamilton Hall have just a few vacancies open. BOOK NOW.



This is the new poster to be found

at the front door when you walk up.

It is viewed by all those walking by and everyone can see that we are PEOPLE MOTIVATED - NOT PROFIT DRIVEN - and I get a great many comments from locals about how we offer so much for free.





Spirituality and Men (SAM)
is a self-development group run by men for men, aiming to explore the spirit of man through informative dialogue, honest interaction and the silence of meditation.

This group meets on the first Sunday of every month at Global Co-operation House.


For further information, please contact the SAM team:



Thought you might like to see these e mails to and from Hammy Hall.  

It did make me laugh.


To Hamilton Hall :-    ' If I come to see any of your clients in the hotel do I have to pay anything?'

My Answer: :- 'I have no idea what you are talking about … . in plain English please.'

His answer :- 'In plain English: Can I come to your Hotel and have sex with your clients (I expect your clients to pay me) You can not expect me to pay for anything as I am short of money.'

My answer :-  'In plain English - FUCK OFF'








A generation ago, schoolchildren caught fighting in the corridors, sassing a teacher or skipping class might have ended up in detention. Today, there’s a good chance they will end up in police custody.

In Texas, a student got a misdemeanor ticket for wearing too much perfume. In Wisconsin, a teen was charged with theft after sharing the chicken nuggets from a classmate’s meal—the classmate was on lunch assistance and sharing it meant the teen had violated the law, authorities said. In Florida, a student conducted a science experiment before the authorization of her teacher; when it went awry she received a felony weapons charge.

Over the past 20 years, prompted by changing police tactics and a zero-tolerance attitude toward small crimes, authorities have made more than a quarter of a billion arrests, the Federal Bureau of Investigation estimates.

Nearly one out of every three American adults are on file in the FBI’s master criminal database.

The USA has between 5 - 8% of the worlds population but 25% of the entire worlds prisonser are in the USA, and this sorry state of affairs tells us that either this country is absolutely full of criminals, or that the authorities are too heavy handed and abusive with its people and that many - quite simply - should never have been put in jail or even tried in the first place. 



an amazing lyric and video about gay love



The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.


When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.


This is so sweet, a dog who discovers he doesn't have to swim




Tony Bray died just before Christmas, and I shall miss him.  He was a good and dear friend who visited and loved Hamilton Hall and would sit in the Conservatory meeting and greeting people as they came and went and everyone loved his peaceful and charming manner.  He was 79 years of age and a real sweetheart.    He will be missed, dearly missed.








Take a look HERE






Every penny raised goes to help the many people we help with food, company, a week or  weekend away, counseling, and even sometimes helping with clothes. In one case we bought a homeless student a bike to get to college on,  and in another , a guitar and lessons to play for a local lad whose life was aimless and he was stoned on drugs all day and all night and we are today, guiding him into making  a life for himself - get his act together - and have some order in his empty life.  We do what we do for absolutely no reason other than 

This web site makes some useful suggestions to HOW TO COPE WITH HOMOPHOBIC FAMILIES










Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 





  is just another con

I was offewred a free listing on YELL.COM and then the spam mail started in vengance.  I soon found out that may have offered me a free listing - which is of absolutely no use to me whatsoever - but what was actually doing was collecting e mail addresses which they then sell on to busioness on a disc with up to 90,000 other addresses - and this is an abuse.
It was not explained to me that this was what they were up to - and it was not what I wanted at all.

So watch out when offered anything for free,  as there will be a con attached and one in which has not answered even afer 4 e mails from me and silly answers from them where all they do is state they will remove me from their free listing but my e mail address remains in their data base for selling.

This is against the data protection act and I shall be reporting them.




I have put various signs on our front fence for the passing public to read,  offering help to any elderly person during the winter months if the weather is too bad and the streets too slippery for an elderly person to get to the shops, and we will shop for some
basics for them.  They will pay for what we buy but our service is free and from the heart and it does state,  that we can also help with some of our own stock from Hamilton Hall as I always keep plenty of tinned soups,  beans,   porridge,  long life milk,  bread and other basics in house and willingly share with an elderly person if they are house bound and the social services cannot get around because of the weather.

It may be 45 minutes out of my day - and it may be a cuppa and a chat with someone who is desperately lonely and who has not seen anyone for days, and just think how your heart will feel when they beam a smile at you in gratitude.




I am having to have a colonascopy and was sent a letter from the The Royal Bournemouth and Christchurch Hospitals  with details about making an appointment.  The letter clearly states to phone between 9 am - 6:30 pm and when you do, the answer phone you get states they are only open between 9am -12 midday - then 2 - 4pm  - so only 5 hours a day and not the 9½  hours a day as stated on the letter.

Even the hospitals main reception has the opening hours different for the endoscopy department -  - 9am - 7pm - which is questionable.

So I called and eventually got this very pleasant man who said could he call me back - and guess what - he didn't.

So I phoned the next day and when I stated there was a  mix up with the times the women got aggressive with me stating that they were very busy and stressed, short staffed and had a lot to do and when I pointed out that their very actions stressed patients out  - she huffed and she puffed and put me on hold without even saying a word.  She was obviously irritated and annoyed which was not my concern as the very letter I had in my hand stated clearly what the times were and stating they were short staffed is not my concern, and if so short staffed, it would be professional to either change the letter - inform the main reception of the time change or at least apologise to the patient calling and be pleasant and cut the attitude.  This is NOT my responsibility - and like any business,  the hospital needs to offer a professional and competant service and so far,  it has not offered this and leaves me in doubt as to how good they are at anything - as this dos not instill confidence at all. 

The hospital is full of signs stating that if you abuse the staff they will withold treatment and may even call the police a
nd yet they can offer a quite abusive attitude and service, full of incompetance and rudeness and when you complain they treat you as if you are abusing a saint, rather than a staff member who is not doing her job right and offering  a pretty poor service to a member of the public they are paid to serve.

I do not give  a damn about who gets paid what and how hard they work and how the NHS is underfunded and under stress when the staff themselves are rude and disrespectful towards those who are ill, stressed in the first place and anxiously just want to get things sorted out without the very institution designed and paid to offer care and attention,  adding to peoples stress levels.

Surely,  this is the first point of contact:-  trying to make the appointment that I have waited several months for ;-  and when you get incompetance - rudeness and annoyed members of staff - and all because of their own departments inability to simply get some times sorted out so every department that deals with each other have the correct opening and closing times - this is not brain surgery ( I know I know - different department )  it is not complicated - and it troubles me that the elderly and those like my Mother who when in her 80's was completely confused and not sure what was going on around her - how this hospital expected her to cope under these situations is beyond me, and if that is not abusive in the long run,  when the elderly are treated and offered this kind of confusing and incorrect service,  then maybe it is time for some members of staff to go for re training or certainly for the managers to get their acts together and get things put right. 


Dear John. Do not get me started with the annoying  things that my own local hospital has screwed up over the years.    I am not just talking about mix ups, lost appointments, or appointments made and when you turn up there is no one there and the entire department is closed. I am talking about the wrong medication being given and my son who is autistic being given 100 times the correct dose of his meds and was hospitalised for weeks while they got this sorted out.   The emotional turmoil for us, his parents and for him, as he knew something was wrong.  We tell him to trust the doctors and nurses and then they make him so unwell for so long,  he then looses all trust not just in the medical people, but in us.  The hospital barely offered an apology and it was disgraceful.
I feel your annoyance and know you are not alone.  Christopher M.  ( Cambridge )

John.  Bournemouth and Poole hospitals between them killed my son and while he had throat cancer and was getting better, they poisoned his blood and hid the fact when I stated how eratic his behaviour had become and they did nothing to check what was wrong, and he was dead within 36 hours.  They admitted fault and stated it would take 6 months to have an investigation and his father and I had already flown in from Canada to be with our eldest son - and would have had to fly back again for the investigation and we just wanted it over. Our 36 year old beautiful son was dead at the hands of incompetant nursing staff - which they fully admitted - but we had to let it go and move on, for the family sake - and the hospital was ' let off the hook.'  It took me personally a very long time to even start to learn some forgiveness for the arrogant nursing staff and how they simply seemed not to give a damn and just let him die.  The hospital apologised, but these words are as emoty as my heart has been ever since my darling son - my baby boy - left us.
It seems this particular hospital has a lot to learn about customer and patient care.
I wish you well.  Margaret - Michael's mother. ( Montreal, Canada )




   Auschwitz 70th anniversary

Auschwitz concentration camp  in Poland

Auschwitz concentration camp was a network of German Nazi concentration camps and extermination camps built and operated by the Third Reich in Polish areas annexed by Nazi Germany during World War II.  It covered over 40 square km and I doubt there is anyone on the planet who has not heard of this place.

The museum which has been made from some areas that are still standing - as the buildings were not built to last 70 years as the Nazis assumed they would be finnished within just a short time period,   has long struggled to find funding for its upkeep, though the the Auschwitz-Birkenau Foundation recently said it had almost reached its goal of raising an endowment of more than $150m (£100m).

On the eve of the anniversary, ( January 27th 2015 ) German Chancellor Angela Merkel drew attention to discrimination against Jews in contemporary Europe, saying it was a "disgrace" that Jews faced insults, threats and violence in Germany.   "We've got to fight anti-Semitism and all racism from the outset," she said at a memorial event in Berlin.  "We've got to constantly be on guard to protect our freedom, democracy and rule of law."

I watched a moving BBC1 report this lunchtime concerning this event where it is thought the last remaining survivers would meet at this years gathering and could be the last large scale gathering,-   as people are now elderly and the whole experience must be harrowing for them so many years after the event;- to have carried and lived with those memories, those sights, those feelings within their mind, body and soul - that horror,   that no man or woman should ever have to bare witness to.

It was mentioned over and over about the Jews that were killed and it was briefly touched upon how tens of thousands of gypsies, disabled - physically and mentally -  and homosexuals,   were rounded up and executed in the various camps and - somehow - it is about time the world recognised how many gay men and women were put to their deaths simply for being homosexual.   The concentration of attention has always been geared around the Jews, and considering the numbers slaughtered were considerably more jews than any other minority race - it is understandable, but we must not allow the other minority groups butchered here to be forgotten and overshaddowed by the Jews.
Thousands of gay men were in the various concentration camps and to be honest,  I know very little about how many lesbians or transgender also came under the umbrella of undesireables - in need of execution,  and this is lacking in my knowledge. 

Regardless,  who ever died here - and who ever these people were,  this kind of madness continues today around the world;- maybe not on such a massive scale, but ethnic cleansing and murder of certain cultures and religious idealogies continues globally and in many different cultures who seem to have vengance over someone elses lifestyle,  and the world still does very little to stop this unless the country in question has oil - and it seems that while the constant quotes we hear are ' WE MUST NEVER FORGET' - and 'THIS MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN AGAIN' - it seems many still do turn their backs, and while horrified about what happened at places like Auschwitz - assuming modern day politics and mankind beyond such horrors in the 21st century is naive, and assuming only cultures and ideologies like ISIS capable ( where we see beheadings on youtube etc )  we need to open our eyes and our consciousness to allow a true view of the horrors done in the name of democracy and how so many countries are guilty of horrors and crimes against humanity. 

If you know of stories of homosexuals in any of the concentration camps - do let us know.  These brave men and women went through horrors for simply being different to ' the norm' and as our LGBT identity homogonises in with the straight world and we loose our history ( which we need to keep alive - just as the memory of Auschwitz needs to be kept alive ) future generations must have that knowledge available and it must never be forgotten.  It is a lesson to us all as we see our young LGBT brothers and sisters growing in a world ( at least here in the UK ) where many are completely ignorant as to the history, the horrors and the lifestyle that so many from our community went through so that the youth of today could be free from prejudice, harrasment and murder - just for being themselves,  and we cannot - should not - MUST NOT - forget.

When I re read this after putting it together, it did dramatically lower my mood and bring tears to my eyes - and it did make me aware that whatever we worry about today - whatever is wrong in our lives and whatever is going on on this planet - the madness - the wars - the price of oil and the worry about an election looming - at least we are - basically - free - to live our lives free as LGBT people and while we may still suffer from the occasional homophobic ignorant rant,  we are free and we have legal rights - and it saddens me that there are still so many countries ( around 70 odd ) where being gay is illegal and persecution and harrasment, jail and even death are metered out by the authorities against innocent people - out of ignorance - fear - biblical misreading of the word of God and where most religions use the word from their holy books to damn and destroy those they fear - and it seems gay men are hugely feared in the past as much as today - and persecuted. 

We must never be arrogant and assume the fight for equality is over - as it most certainly is not.

I send a prayer for all those who have carried those horrific memories for so many years within themselves and I hope and I pray we can enlighten those who still live in fear - still persecute and still run around spreading their fear mongering to the less evolved amongst us and who continue to bully and murder those who have simply been born different.

I pray that humanity wakes up, grows up, and starts to act in a reasonable and mature manner towards our fellow man and women and not out of fear, but with love.

John Bellamy

After writing the piece above - I went out in the garden briefly to look at the spring flowers starting to make an appearance and although a cold and gray day,  life is coming up out of the ground and a few are even flowering already.  I looked at the Camelia bush that stands 12 feet tall and is absolutely covered in buds about to flower and the 3 or 4 that have opened with their bright red colour and the delight it brings - and I was aware that nothing stops,  nothing really dies - it just changes form and continues in another reality - and as I do not believe in death - but a re birth into a different realm of existance - I celebrate those who have come before - and  those who will come after - and that I - WE - are all part of the cycle that continues regardless of what we have for dinner or the price of beans in Tesco.  We are all a part of the human family and I sincerely hope we all pull together to make this a beautiful day - and one day after another - year in and year out - continue to live in harmony and understanding of all our differences and respect and value each others differences - peacefully and with understanding.




We have been having some really wonderful weather down here this week ( late January 2015 ) with bright and sunn y days, and yesterday I took my dog for a long walk around Christchurch Golf Course which has some truly stunning views over Hengisbury Head, th sea and vast areas full of horses and swans - yauchts moored and so much beauty - and with the bright sunshine on the  water and the vast open sky blue above,  it rally is a wonderful season to be alive.  It is cold, but far from freezing and I am wrapped up warm and the dog and I enjoyed a really lovely hour in the fresh air together.



When injustice becomes law,   defiance becomes duty.


Pope Francis Demotes Highest-Ranking

US Cardinal Over LGBT Issues


It's been in the news. Now it has been confirmed. As of this past weekend, Raymond Leo Burke, America's highest-ranking cardinal at the Vatican, was officially removed from the Vatican's Supreme Court, and demoted to chaplain of the Knights of Malta, where he will reign with much less responsibility. The ultra-Conservative and anti-gay cardinal, continuously challenges the jurisdiction of Pope Francis, and the Catholic Church's new receptive stance on homosexuality.

How ironic it is to find the demoted cardinal is from the United States. What does that say about America - that even the Catholic Church and a pope are ahead of so many anti-LGBT lawmakers and extremists in this country.

Weeks after taking office in 2013, Pope Francis asked, 'Who am I to judge?' speaking of the LGBT community. Since then, he has had great support for his progressive views, and of course, great opposition. Raymond Burke is one of the pope's strongest opponents. The 66 year-old Burke believes homosexuality is, 'always and everywhere wrong [and] evil,' and continuously questioned the authority of Pope Francis, now 77. Burke told Buzzfeed in October:




Thanks to Chris who told me this one - and it really works:


  1. Get a metal pot stand.  Put 3 or 4 Tea Lights - lit - in the middle together and have each one a couple of inches from the other
  2. On the top on them lower a terracotta garden pot with its bottom upwards and where the candles heat burns up the inside of the pots and not straight out of the whole at the top. 
  3. The heat of the candles will heat up the pot so you cannot even touch it and the heat from just 3 or 4 small Tea Lights will warm the whole room. 

Be careful with candles and never leave to burn without supervision or where children, the elderly or pets can knock them over;-  and not in a draughty location. 

If using Tea Lights NOT on some kind of metal or glass stand, then ALWAYS put them on a solid surface - NOT PLASTIC - as Tea Lights will melt down through the plastic and set fires.  They become extremly hot - hotter than a lot of people realize. 

Always put them in a safe countainer when alight and always take care with naked flames in the home.

I have been using one for the last couple of weeks and I have noticed I can turn down the heating in my own private lounge as it actually has been getting too hot and is a wonderful way of heating the place without paying a fortune to the gas and electric companies that are so screwing us all. 


click above to read all about this dangerous legislation





Eighty-eight thousand deaths a year?
One in 10 people in America die from alcohol abuse each year.




US Secretary of State, John Kerry representing a country which makes Genghis Khan look like a wimp when it comes to illegal invasions, still retains the prize for jaw dropper of the decade:

"You just don't, in the 21st century, behave in 19th century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped up pretext", he pontificated on CBS' "Face the Nation." 

It really is enough to take your breath away,- the gall of this idiot.  Does he assume we are all idiots ?



The following BOURNEBATERS poll is now closed. Here are the
final results:



- YES, 19 votes, 41.30%
- NO, 14 votes, 30.43%
- INDIFFERENCE TO SEX, 1 votes, 2.17%

For more information about this group, please visit




'We have all been in abusive relationships, and sometimes we were the one being abused.'

Marianne Williams

















So - remind me once again, what is it that these guys above are guilty of - oh I remember -

sharing the truth of what our governments are up to that they want kept hidden for fear

the people will rise up in absolute horror at what they have been up to and kick them

out of power and make a lot of changes - perhaps.  

So, it seems the government has more to hide from the people than they care to let on.  

I wonder why ?



Had a couple of guests stay recently who worked as geologist with a ' BIG PETROLEUM' company ( hint ) and when I asked them about Fracking they both said much the same thing,   that it was not environmentally a good idea as the concept of high pressure water and chemicals being pumped underground was unknown and the damage these chemicals were / would / could do to the water table, the environment was dangerous and unknown and could cause earth quakes and it could be very dangerous to human and animal health.   There simply was no evidence to claim it is safe whereas the common sense about the dangers is clear.

This coming from professionals who work in the field  , travelling the world working in the oil and gas industry for over 50 years between them.

Interesting that two very seperate geologists both said much the same thing.







Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 





'Sky / Fox is to journalism what World Wrestling Entertainment is to the Olympics.'

and I love this one...

The next statement in true

The first statement is untrue





Your comments on this are invited.


Dear UKIP:  Can you tell me where UKIP stands on the LGBT community / Gay rights and even gay marriage – as everyone I speak to seems to say different things and with millions reading my web site each year,  and with me promoting your 100 days e mail on my site – the LGBT community is somewhat confused on your stand on LGBT rights.

Thanks  John Bellamy

From:UKIP Head Office []
Sent: 29 January 2015 15:24
To: hamilton hall
Subject: Re: gay rights

Dear Mr Bellamy,
Thanks for your mail.
UKIP do not have a policy or stance on LGBT rights-this issue is a personal one and outside the remit of a political party.
Kind Regards
Alan Bigwood
UKIP Head Office

My answer in return:

Dear Alan:

I am confused by your answer as it is vague and naïve in stating how LGBT rights are  outside the remit of a political party. 

It has EVERYTHING to do with a political party as it is politics and politicians that listen to the people when formulating its strategy for the forthcoming election and how the people should vote.  If you are saying you have absolutely no idea – or that your party has no interest in LGBT rights – or that it is a personal issue and outside the remit of YOUR political party,  then you have offered me a step backwards from your party and your answer needs to be exposed to the LGBT community as vague and lacking.  I asked a serious question as many within the LGBT community believe UKIP to be a homophobic and racist party,  which it seems to be trying to show is an inaccurate and untruthful belief structure;-   yet your evasive answer to my serious question evades being honest with me and evades committing yourself to an answer to my question. 

 The point it :-  You have not answered my question and I am wondering who I should speak to next in order not to be fobbed off as you have done, but to offer a serious and educated answer to someone with millions of readers on my web site aimed at those within the LGBT community.

With an election looming and people such as myself showing an interest and asking a serious and topical questions to you about a contentious issue that occurred within the last couple of years – that being Civil Partnerships and Gay Marriage – it would have been accommodating of you to offer where your party stands on these issues and not a one line stating the nonsense you have offered me below.

Shame on you – you have done UKIP no good at all with this type of evasive and plainly ignorant of the facts – answer. 

If you cannot accommodate me with a clear and defined answer – then please let me know who can.

In the meantime, this will be on my web site and millions will now be reading your somewhat lacking response.

John Bellamy

WITHIN A MINUTE of sending my e mail above,  I received this one below:

Dear Mr Bellamy,
I suggest you contact David Coburn MEP- who is a gay man and as a member of our party's National Executive Committee is probably best placed to
give you a more informed response.His e-mail address is

Kind Regards
Alan Bigwood
UKIP Head Office



I am NOT saying I am voting for UKIP in the next election - I found this interesting reading and worthy of sharing with you.  If other parties offer something similar for the public to read, I shall also Blogg that on here as well.

The Conservatives want the focus to be on the economy, while Labour want it to be on the NHS. The Liberal Democrats, meanwhile, want people to think neither of the two main parties can be trusted with a majority government and there is a lot of misdirection as to what UKIP stands for and what the party states :- Are they for or against gay marriage  ? 

Judging by my question to Alan Bigwood above and the disgraceful answer he gave which totally ignored the facts and just - in a sence - condescended - it is no wonder UKIP gets so much bad press when idiots like Alan Bigwood shoot themselves in the foot with such a stupid and offensively ignorant answer to a simple question on where UKIP stands on LGBT rights.  It is people like Alan Bigwood that destroys from within., It is people like Alan Bigwood who should never - ever - be in politics as his moronic answer is just laughable. 

Have a read below and pay attention to the other parties and remember who was in control when this credit crunch - this banking scandal where billions were squandered on mega wealthy bankers / gangsters which screwed us all - and remember we are not - and never shall be - an island alone - as we do need Europe and the rest of the world and we do need to be a part of that global economy. 

I do feel it is time Europe was given a MASSIVE SHAKE UP to get those arrogant MEP's to wake up and smell the shit they are throwing at everyone and for the first time ever - BALANCE THE BOOKS AND STOP THE BILLIONS IN FRAUD - I do not want out of Europe but EU does need a serious wake up call and maybe this is the time to oput the wind of change into the arena and scare them enough to make some radical changes - ie: immigration - fraud - benefits being paid to people not even in the UK and so forth.

Some of the list below goes over my head and I do not even pretend to understand some of it,  but I AM interested enough to ask questions, read and watch and make up my own mind and not be brainwashed with absolute BULLSHIT that so many news media and even the politicians themselves come out with.  It seems, the truth is ofte hard to find.

Never stop asking questions and learn discernment in what you choose to believe.


Good for you, John!  Bet you don't get a response to the last one you sent!  Keep it, start a party, and stick two fingers up to all narrow-minded extremists!!  Stewart ( Poole )

Well done, John.  I find UKIP policy vague in a number of respects.  I don’t think they’ve done their homework, and so individual candidates are left to say what they think the majority of their supporters want to hear.  That’s not a clever way to make policy.  With fewer than 100 days to go to the election, they should come off the fence and clarify their position.  Roger ( Cambridge ) 



100 days till the election, 100 reasons to vote UKIP

Published Jan 27, 2015

10952271_798855083495430_5283085457226450293_n.pngWith 100 days to the election, here are the first 10 of 100 great reasons to vote UKIP 

1. Get Britain out of the European Union
2. Get control of immigration with an Australian-style, points-based immigration system
3. £3bn more, annually, into our NHS which desperately needs it
4. Scrap tuition fees for students studying Science, Tech, Engineering, Maths, or Medical degrees
5. Pay greater attention to elderly care across the country
6. Cutting £9bn from our foreign aid budget
7. Give the people the ability to “recall” their MPs, without parliamentary or MP approval
8. Stopping our endless, foreign wars
9. Promoting a British identity, as opposed to failed multiculturalism
10. Allowing existing schools to become grammar schools

11. Ending PFI privatisation of the NHS, proliferated by Labour and the Tories
12. Ensuring our armed services are properly equipped for when we do need them
13. Establishing a Veteran’s Administration to look after those who looked after us
14. Encouraging inward investment with growth markets, not JUST the failing Eurozone
15. Overcoming the unfairness of MPs from devolved nations voting on English laws
16. Cutting bureaucracy, red tape, and wasteful spending from government departments
17. Cutting the same bureaucracy that hinders small businesses and entrepreneurs
18. Supporting our farmers with a Single Farm Payment Scheme
19. Ending the burdensome “green levies” that have added £000s to our energy bills
20. Scrapping the poorly planned HS2 project, saving up to £50bn
21. Opposing tolls on public roads – we’ve already paid for them
22. Supporting bus passes for pensioners with the support of local authorities
23. Foreign vehicles to require Britdisc passes to contribute to our roads they use
24. Ending the use of speed cameras as revenue raisers – they should be a deterrent
25. Protecting our green belt
26. A central list of brownfield sites for developers
27. Houses on brownfield sites to be Stamp Duty exempt on first sale
28. VAT relaxed for redevelopment of brownfield sites
29. Local referenda for large-scale development, if triggered by 5% of electorate
30. Introducing the ability for citizens to initiate national referenda
31. Withdrawing from the European Court of Human Rights
32. Reversing the government’s opt-in to the European Arrest Warrant
33. Negotiating bi-lateral agreements to replace EAW
34. No votes for prisoners
35. Full prison sentences should be served, parole on case-by-case basis
36. Replacing the Human Rights Act with a British Bill of Rights
37. Official documents to be published primarily in English
38. Cracking down on honour killings, female genital mutilation, and forced marriages
39. Reviewing the BBC licence fee with a view to reducing it
40. Taking non-payment of the licence fee out of the criminal sphere
41. Amend the smoking ban to promote choice for ventilated smoking rooms
42. Opposing plain packs for cigarettes, which has had no impact where trialled
43. Promoting the employment of young, British workers
44. Repealing the Agency Workers Directive
45. Encouraging councils to provide more free parking on High Streets
46. Simplifying planning regulations for long-term empty commercial properties
47. Extending the right of appeal for micro businesses against Revenue and Customs
48. Negotiating bespoke trade agreements with EU member states and worldwide
49. Reoccupying our seat at the World Trade Organisation
50. Abolishing inheritance tax


51. Introducing a 35p income tax rate between £42,285 and £55,000 – taking many public sector workers out of top rate of tax
52. Setting up a Treasury Commission to make sure big corporations pay their way in taxes
53. Abolishing the Dept of Energy and Climate Change and rolling retained functions into DEFRA
54. Introducing an Apprenticeship Qualification for students who don’t want to do non-core GCSEs
55. Scrapping the arbitrary 50% target for university attendance
56. Students from the EU to pay the same as International Students
57. Introducing more power for parents: OFSTED to investigate schools on petition signed by 25% of parents or governors
58. Guaranteeing a job in the police, prison, or border forces for anyone who has served 12 years in the Armed Forces
59. Priority social housing for ex-service men and women, and those returning from service
60. Veterans to receives Veteran’s Card to ensure they’re supported in event of mental health care and more
61. All entitlements to be extended to servicemen and women recruited from overseas
62. Establishing a National Service Medal for all those who have served
63. Encouraging local authorities to buy out their PFI contracts where affordable
64. Ensuring GP’s surgeries are open at least one evening per week where demand permits
65. Ensuring migrants have NHS-approved health insurance until they have paid into the system for 5 years
66. Ending hospital car parking charges
67. Replacing bureaucratic watchdogs with locally elected health boards for more transparency
68. Stopping the sale of patient data to big business
69. Ensuring a high standard of English speakers in the NHS
70. Amend working time rules to give trainee doctors, surgeons, and medics better environments
71. Encouraging and protecting whistleblowing to get to the bottom of poor performance
72. Ensuring migrants have jobs and accommodation before they can come to the UK
73. Migrants will only be eligible for residency after 10 years’ working here
74. Reinstating the primary purpose rule, bringing an end to sham marriage migration
75. No amnesty for illegal immigrants, or those gaining UK passports via fraud
76. Protecting genuine refugees by returning to the UN Convention of Refugees principles
77. British companies to be prioritised to deliver foreign aid contracts
78. Repealing the Climate Change Act 2008 which costs the economy £18n per year
79. Scrapping the Large Combustion Plant directive and redevelop UK power stations
80. Supporting the development of UK Shale Gas with proper safeguards
81. No new taxpayer subsidy for wind farms
82. Leaving the Common Agricultural Policy
83. Allowing parliament to vote on GM foods
84. Reinstating British territorial waters
85. Food to be labelled with country of origin, method of production, method of slaughter and more
86. Ban live animal exports for slaughter
87. Scrapping the Bedroom Tax
88. Child benefit only for children permanently resident in the UK
89. Future child benefit to be limited to first two children only
90. Ensuring an initial presumption of 50-50 parenting on child custody matters
91. Safeguarding visitation rights for grandparents
92. Supporting a streamlined welfare system and a benefit cap
93. Enrolling unemployed benefits claimants into workfare or community schemes
94. Placing revenues from shale gas into a Sovereign Wealth Fund to ensure future growth and security
95. Emphasising the immediate need to utilise forgotten British infrastructure like Manston Airport
96. No cuts to frontline policing
97. Prioritising social housing for those whose parents and grandparents were born locally
98. Reaffirming British laws, rather than allowing dual-track legal systems for minorities in the UK
99. Promoting patriotism and the importance of British values in our schools
100. Rebalancing Britain’s economy


80. Supporting the development of UK Shale Gas with proper safeguards
81. No new taxpayer subsidy for wind farms

I am personally against Shale Gas and the dangerous methods used to extract this and am very sad to see our governments running around in circles taking money from alternative wind farms etc and giving it to carbon based, polluting and dangerous methods of creating fuel.  It is NOT the way forward and we only have to look to the USA and th dangers and chaos caused to local housing etc and we should NOT be following suit.   We are suppose to be creating safer alternatives to fossil fuels and here we are putting billions intoi yet another fosssil fuel.





This emotional and thought provoking personal article, written by John Bellamy, shares some of the dangers - the highs and lows, of the sex industry.
If you are involved with the sex industry and you feel you are drowning,  or finding it hard to cope, then come and have a chat with John and see if he can offer some useful and supportive advise.  Many get it all wrong and assume they need to offer almost everything, when you do not. 

You must set yourself guidelines and rules and be strict with them, regardless of how much someone offers.  Respect and self worth are vital and NEVER - EVER - let anyone EVER put you down for what you do.  It is vitally important work, more so than most comprehend.










Edward Snowden won the Swedish Human Rights Award for his daring and heroic revelations.



Remember who 'YOU' are©

By Christopher Charles

(One of my neighbours here at Hamilton Hall)

"Have you ever though there might be more to life?
Have you ever thought of the trouble and strife?
Have you ever thought you don't need a wife?
in this system that tells YOU what is right.

Have you ever thought that black could be white
Have you ever wanted dark to be light
Have you ever wished that wrong was right
to stop the arguing and end the fight.

Well yes.....guess what..? You're not alone
cos a mate'o'mine just heard on the phone
that an awakening is happening on this planet...your home.
Its such a good reason to have a moan

So put pen to paper and air your views
make a banner and get on the news,
have regular meetings...invite your crews
for this is the know what to do

For this has been predicted through space and time
that the people will end up...not towing the line
and without the state...we'll be just fine
from the 1% and their hidden crimes.

The banks are corrupt
The leaders out of touch
The BBC is weird
and the planets burning up.

So we vote a change...cos we think it matters
we get a different group of mad hatters
or ask for new laws to cover the doors
of the apparent cause,  to all the flaws
The government will not like us
on the streets with loud hailers and banners
we shout "make some new laws for these cheating scammers"
but we don't realise we are voting for laws that will hit us as a row of angry hammers.

'Cos we all want change...but asking's not right
We must spread our wings if we really want flight
and not get caught up in their two party fight
Make up your own mind...don't believe the hype

You cant stop wars by bombing for peace
That's like trying to fuck for virginity at least
and when we ask for laws on hateful speech
we take away the freedom of each

So stop being offended of what people say
Its only because YOU hear it that way
Sticks and stones and come what may
Support freedom of speech everyday

So how do we make a new world for the better
I'll tell ya....I'll go through it letter for letter

Turn off your tellys and put on your wellies
'cos growing your own food is where its at.

Remove the fluoride from your diet
Its only there to keep you quiet

Get to know your neighbours and others around
and you'll soon find ...they're all quite sound.

Recognise the difference between statute and law
and the word means much more.

For the acts are not real...they come from the sea
they were not meant for you and me.
It's all maritime's corporate rules
and I'm sorry to say ...we have all been fooled.
There are very few laws for women and men
no damage...that's them
It's just a game...the game of life
you count yourself in when you use the dice,
and the dice is your name........
I'm watching you frown
For your names property of the Crown

Remember who you are."

© Hamilton Hall Promotions / Christopher Charles  CT13012013


Withholding information from people should be a crime. We believe is sharing knowledge and wisdoms freely, and if anything on this web site has been used without permission, then our apologies. Please inform us and if you wish, it will be removed.  We do not make money from this web site and is part of a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE of Hamilton Hall.

The poem above was written by Christopher Charles  and you are welcome to re print and re use it and please always give a credit to the author and to this web site.  If we find you are making a profit from it or stealing its content for other financial gain and taking the worthy praise that Christopher Charles  - in my opinion, deserves for this brilliant piece, then we will seek legal action.

John Bellamy





If you loose part of this page - CLICK HERE





and learn all about INDECT

and watch the 6 minute video to the very end





It all sounds so innocent and so ' for your benefit'

but the sad truth
is so very dangerous and different

to what they claim

It states that this could be sold to companies and corporate bodies

who have absolutely no right, as far as I am concerned,

spying on people. That is not for national security -

that is not for the protection of the masses -

that is all about control.









Posted by: John

Tagged in: Untagged 



If you loose part of this page - CLICK HERE



United Nations Calls

for an End to

Industrialized Farming

Maryam Henein, Truthout: We do not need genetically modified plants and monocultures to feed the world. To save the planet, the United Nations is calling for us to get rid of modern agriculture as we know it and adopt organic farms and a localized food system.

Read the Article


Marijuana frequently gets a bad rap. How much of it is deserved? After my earlier blog, “Should Marijuana Be Legalized?” I conducted research to find out the benefits and problems linked with marijuana use. While there are many, here are ten of the health benefits attributed to marijuana and, of course, some of the problems linked to its use:

Alzheimer’s—Marijuana may be able to slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, according to research by the Scripps Research Institute and published in Molecular Pharmaceutics.

AnxietyHarvard Medical School found that marijuana may have anti-anxiety effects. Of course, keep in mind that high doses may increase anxiety and paranoia.

Arthritis—Marijuana can alleviate pain and inflammation linked to arthritis.

Cancer—Research in the journal Molecular Cancer Therapeutics found that cannabidiol found in marijuana, turns off a gene called “Id-1,” which cancer cells use to spread.

Epilepsy—Marijuana has been shown in studies by Virginia Commonwealth University, to stop seizures in the school’s animal studies.

GlaucomaResearchers are working on developing new drugs based on cannabis to treat glaucoma pain after learning its effectiveness for treating the condition. Glaucoma is a condition that increases pressure inside the eyeball and can lead to vision loss.

Improves Lung Health—Research in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that marijuana can increase lung capacity, not decrease it as many people have long believed.

Multiple Sclerosis—A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal found that cannabinoids found in marijuana significantly reduced multiple sclerosis pain.

Nausea—Marijuana contains a minimum of 60 chemicals known as cannabinoids, of which THC is the primary one associated with its mind-altering effects.  THC has been used in the treatment of nausea, including drug- or chemotherapy-induced nausea.

Parkinson’s Disease—Research published in MedPage Today found that marijuana use eased tremors and improved fine motor skills in patients with Parkinson’s disease.


Problems Linked with Marijuana Use:

Addiction—that’s a fairly obvious one. Also, it can cause uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms in people who discontinue use.

Comment from JB:  Marijuana is non addictive - the tobacco you mix it with is the danger,  not the dope.

Anxiety and Paranoia—In high doses or in sensitive individuals, marijuana can cause anxiety and paranoia.

Comment from JB:  In tests - it was found that under 5% of people who smoke marijuana suffer from pananoia and this is usually because the person already had dsigns on mental health and the dope was the key. It is NOT common amongst regular smokers who have smoked for years.

Memory Impairment—As anyone who’s ever talked to someone who is high knows, memory impairment is common.

Mind-Altering Effects—This is particularly evident among people who haven’t used it before as well as many young people.

Comment from JB:  Just like booze or stress or prescription drugs - sometimes you can get an extra strong marijuana which can be a bit trippy,  just like some alcoholic substanbces which are quite legal.


Heart Attack—One study found an increase risk of heart attack within the first hour of smoking marijuana.

If you think severe sentencing laws are doing more harm than good,

consider signing this


Read more:



Does anyone else cringe upon hearing statements like,

“You need to love yourself before you can  land a job, a relationship, lasting inner peace - etc.” ?


I do, and I call it bullshit.  It might be correct in the bigger scheme of things, but here in the real world, it can be very hard and somewhat unrealistic at times.

Sure, liking yourself is important. Believing in yourself, trusting yourself to generally do right by your own best interests. Acting with integrity. Setting boundaries. Respecting yourself enough to know how you deserve to be treated and how others deserve to be treated by you in return and striving to settle for nothing but this,  is often hard. 

But the conditional “if/then” formulas in the self-help-sphere drive me absolutely bonkers. The Personal Development Police would like to have you believe that you have to high-jump over the impossible-to-reach SELF-LOVE bar in order to truly manifest what you want, when the truth is it is so much easier than you can ever imagibe - it is just that we constantly get in our own way.

I find those that give bland advice ' Oh you need to learn some self love' annoying,  unrealistic and frustrating —  it is good advice but also bad advice, no matter how well-intentioned. At least for me. You might disagree with me, and that’s fine. If you are born with unfailing radiant self-love at max capacity 24/7, I am thrilled for you! Bottle it up and sell it, baby!

But for the rest of us mere mortals, self-love is a spectrum, and there‘s a good chance it varies every day. Particularly when you are riding the roller coaster of holding down a job,   or a new relationship or quitting your job or any other massive life change that will cause stress and anxiety. 

Who really loves themselves all day every day, romancing their reflection with flowers and unicorns and affirmations in the mirror every morning?

Listen — I certainly don’t think you want to actively shoot yourself down (put-downs, berating, etc) but can we agree to a more neutral zone?

I do not believe self-love is black or white — you love yourself or you don’t.

Just do the best with what you’ve got, and admit when terrifying, thrilling, vulnerability-inducing situations bring out your shy, insecure, or worry sides. Hallelujah, you‘re alive! And you’re most likely hot on the trail of something exciting.

Try This: I Love Myself Enough

Here‘s my take: do things. Do things that scare you, and watch your confidence build.

Instead of reaching for an unshakeable self-love bar you can never hit, sit with the idea that “I love myself enough. It might not be 100%, but I love myself enough to give this a shot. To be vulnerable, and to take one small brave step each day.”

The best way you can truly love yourself (blegh, the term still gives me hives!) is to give yourself permission to do or say whatever is authentically on your mind, and to start right from where you already are.

Action is what moves you forward. Action is what builds your confidence. Action is the best teacher.

As my favorite Joan Baez quote goes, “Action is the antidote to despair.“






ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits & troublemakers, all you free-spirits & pioneers...
Everything the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you...

A friend showed me this last night and I was awe struck by the power and the meaning in the words. 

Watch the video here - but most important -


It speaks to the heart of all those Light Workers
and those working for a higher cause -

Those who know there IS a Higher Cause
and those seekers of the TRUTH.

Go here:
Get it on iTunes:
Friend us at
Follow the creator on
Friend him on Facebook: HERE





I found this the most powerful piece I think I have ever heard and it moved me deeply.
I urge you to listen with your eyes shut - ignore the video for the first hearing, and just throw yourself into the message

Thanks to Chris who introduced me to this



Here are the words below :-
 By Garret John LoPorto on September 22, 2010



ATTENTION: All you rule-breakers, you misfits and troublemakers -

all you free spirits and pioneers - all you visionaries and non-conformists

Everything that the establishment has told you is wrong with you - is actually what's right with you.

You see things others don't. You are hardwired to change the world. Unlike 9 out of 10 people - your mind is irrepressible - and this threatens authority. You were born to be a revolutionary.

You can't stand rules because in your heart you know there's a better way.

You have strengths dangerous to the establishment - and it wants them eliminated, So your whole life you've been told your strengths were weaknesses - Now I'm telling you otherwise.

Your impulsivity is a gift - impulses are your key to the miraculous,

Your distractibility - is an artifact of your inspired creativity,

Your mood swings - reflect the natural pulse of life, they give you unstoppable energy when you're high and deep soulful insight when you're low,

Been diagnosed with a "disorder"? That's society's latest way to deny it's own illness by pointing the finger at you.


Your addictive personality is just a symptom of your vast underused capacity for heroic, creative expression and spiritual connection. your utter lack of repression, your wide eyed idealism, your unmitigated open mind - didn't anyone ever tell you?!

These are the traits shared by the greatest pioneers and visionaries and innovators, revolutionaries, procrastinators and drama queens, activists on the social scene, space cadets and mavericks, philosophers and derelicts, business suits flying fighter jets, football stars and sex addicts, celebrities with ADD, alcoholics who seek novelty, first responders - prophets and saints, mystics and change agents.

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -
We are - all - the same - you know
'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -
You know in your heart that there's a natural order to life,
something more sovereign than any man-made rules or laws could ever express

This natural order is called "the Way."


The Way is the eternal substrate of the cosmos. It guides the very current of time and space. The Way is known by some as the Will of God, Divine Providence, the Holy Spirit, the implicate order, the Tao, reverse-entropy, life-force, but for now we'll simply call it "the Way."

The Way is reflected in you as the source of your inspiration, the source of your passions, your wisdom, your enthusiasm, your intuition, your spiritual fire - love.

The Way takes the chaos out of the Universe and breathes life into it by reflecting divine order. The Way, when experienced by the mind, is genius, when perceived through the eyes is beauty, when felt with the senses is grace, when allowed into the heart ... is love.

Most people cannot sense the Way directly. ... But then there are the Wayseers. The keepers of the flame. Wayseers have an unexplainable knack for just knowing the Way.
They sense it in their very being. They can't tell you why or how they arrived at the right answer. They just know it in their core. They can't show their work. So don't ask. Their minds simply resonate with the Way. When the Way is present, so are they.

While others are blind to it, and society begs you to ignore it, "the Way" stirs you inside. Neurological repression blocks most people's awareness of the Way - censoring all thoughts and impulses from the unconscious is their prefrontal cortex - the gestapo of the brain -  nothing which violates its socialized programming even gets through; but your mind is different. your mind has been cracked wide open to the Way - by some miraculous genetic trait, some psychotropic chemical or maybe even by the will of your very soul, your brain's reward pathways have been hijacked - dopamine employed to overthrow the fascist dictatorship of your prefrontal cortex - now your brain is free of repression, your mind free of censorship, your awareness exposed to the turbulent seas of the unconscious - through this open doorway divine light shines into your consciousness showing you the Way. This is what makes you a Wayseer.

90% of human civilization is populated with those who's brains are blocked to the Way.  Their brains are hardwired to enforce the social programming indoctrinated since birth.
Unlike you they cannot break out of this programming, because they have not yet experienced the necessary revolution of mind. These programmed people take social institutions and rules very seriously. Society is full of games programmed to keep peoples' minds occupied so they will not revolt.

These games often cause sick fixations on peculiar protocols, power structures, taboos and domination - all subtle forms of human bondage - This distinct form of madness is not only tolerated by the masses but insisted upon. The programmed ones believe in rules so forcefully they become willing to destroy anyone who violates them.

Wayseers are the ones who call their bluff.  Since Wayseer minds are free to reject social programming, Wayseers readily see social institutions for what they are - imaginary games.  
Wayseers comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.
Helping those who are lost in these games and refuse to help themselves is a calling of many Wayseers.

Since Wayseers are the ones who keep contact with the original source of reality - they are able to disrupt societal conventions and even governments to realign humanity with the Way.

The Wayseers are an ancient lineage. A kind of priesthood - carriers of the flame - ones "in the know."  There must always be Wayseers to reform the dizzying psychotic spinning gears of society - giant mindless hamster wheels obscuring the pure blue sky, keeping humanity shackled in a darkened cage - so Wayseers are called - to shed light on the madness of society - to continually resurrect the timeless transcendent Spirit of Truth -

Wayseers reveal this divine truth by devoting themselves to the birth of some creative or disruptive act expressed through art or philosophy, innovations to shake up industry, revolutions for democracy, coups that topple hypocrisy, movements of solidarity, changes that leave a legacy, rebellions against policy, spirit infused technology, moments of clarity, things that challenge barbarity, watersheds of sincerity, momentous drives for charity

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all affected by the way -

We are - all - the same - you know

'cuz we're all attracted to the flame -

This is your calling, Wayseer

You've found your tribe.

Welcome home.





andy pryor

Died Sunday August 19th 2012 - aged, I think 43.

and you know what,  I don't think I have a picture of him - after a computer crash a few years ago where thousands of photos were lost, and now all I have is my memory - that picture in my head.

I first met Andy when he joined a group I was runnning called 'The Gay Spiritual Group' in London, and this would be around 1996-97. He was instantly a keen member  and quickly  joined the committee to help with the running of the group.  Once a month we hosted a Social  and would get anything up to 65 members in my London home and a really good spiritual evening would be had,  relaxed and informal,  with people just talking and laughing,   and at around 9pm I would introduce a speaker for 30 minutes or so, and one of these evenings,  Andy wanted to give a talk about an  experience he had recently had.
He was really nervous and with a little encouragement from me - he stood and introduced himself and gave a wonderful, lighthearted account of a recent trip to Egypt that had changed his life,  and it was a really lovely thing to be a part of and to hear this London cockney lad - offering such a  gentle story. 

For Andy was a little Tough Ted... an east end lad you might not - at one time - have trusted  with your wallet or car keys - as he had been a cheeky little rascall when he was a teenager and in private he would tell me some of the things he had got up to in the past which while illegal,   did make you smile broadly and laugh out loud... and while you felt for the victim who had had their car stolen - or whatever - it was never meant to be malicious or evil,  it was just lads messing about,  and we would laugh.  But all that was years behind him and he donated a great deal of his time to helping others, through voluntary charity work and in his private life as well,  and he was a very thoughtful and kind, considerate and loving man.

When I moved to Hamilton Hall he would come down and help us paint and decorate - or more often - he would actually bring a friend with him who he paid to do the work for him as his disabilities through various illnesses brought about through his HIV made it difficult for him to do some things physically,  and he was thrilled every time to be able to offer something and happy to be a part of Hamilton Hall, and I was very pleased to have him part of my life.

I remember one long hot summer, maybe around 2004 - he was down for a couple of weeks with his dog - a Doberman named Scooby ( naturally )  and we would sit in the garden until late at night with candles lit all over the place and just chill out and laugh and share stories from our past - as we actually had a lot in common - and these are happy memories.  His cheecky chappy grin and laugh won him many friends here and one elderly friend fell madly in love with him;- in a really nice and sweet way - and every time I mentioned Andy to him he would smile broadly and laugh...

I knew his health was up and down over the years and I would always be inviting him down for a free stay and more often than not, he would either come down or be too busy at home,  and all of a sudden he has having problems with his bowels and had already had an operation giving him a temporary colostomy and when he visited he was so up, so cheerful and so positive, he was such an inspiration even though I think he was going through a great deal. 

During a trip to Egypt where the pain became so great he increased his pain medication, he decided upon return to just tell the doctors to take his bowel right out and give him a full colostomy as he could not live with the pain and it was obviously not getting any better,  and this was done almost immediately.  He laughed about not needing to douch any more and was so positive all through it.  But it seems things went from bad to worst and although he was always up-beat when I phoned,  he eventually moved into a hospice - he said for pain management - but within a couple of weeks his phone was switched off and he had died.  A few days later his sister called and told me the news and as soon as she said she was Andy's sister, I knew - for I had had to go through my own sisters phone book years ago after her death - phoning people and telling them - and I just knew.  Instantly my tummy did a flip,  my heart missed a beat and a tear came to my eye.  Poor Andy, I wish he'd let me know how ill he was, I would have visited him in the hospice,  but I think he didn't want a fuss - didn't want people to see him in those last days and wanted us to remember him as he was,  and he left this world peacefully and as he had lived it , on his own terms.

He also chose not to have a funeral service of any kind,  and the family were to be told - after the fact - that he had been cremated by the funeral company after it was all over.  Some would have a hard time with this - as saying your final farewell in front of a coffin is traditional and what we all expect,  but not when it causes such grief for people.  Andy hated fuss,  and so chose to leave this life as quietly as he could and leave happy memories and not grief in his wake.  

No flowers.

No hymns. 
No getting to the place on time and having to wear something black - which he would have hated and no
eulogy describing his life in nine minutes.

I was upstairs late last night with a friend and Andy and I had always shared a cigarette or two together and evenings just talking and laughing,  so I did just that with Matt who works here and we shared a few smokes,  talked about loads of things including Andy - and just had one of those evenings where we were giggling like school girls...  and all the while aware of Andy and how he would have loved to be with us one last time,  and bless him. 

Getting older for me is fun,  I see so much of other older people in myself as I come closer to my 60's - people who are older than I am and now I am catching them up,  and the one sadness is remembering all the sweet people whose lives have come to an end so much younger and so much sooner,  and it makes me sad.  I know there are always new friends to meet,  new faces to  laugh with and new evenings to share a smoke and a giggle and I give thanks for the ever changing aspect of my daily life and the wonderous way it moves through the years,  and there are times I remember back and see a face in my minds eye - of Andy - or someone else I held dear but probably never got the chance to really tell them how important they were to me,  and I try harder with my 'today friends' to let them know how much I care and love them, and as fast and as busy as my days are,  I always remember and keep their memory alive within my mind, my body and my soul and in this,  they are still with me.  Still alive and still making me smile.   For I don't ever want to forget.

Bless you Andy.

This is a piece of music he enjoyed and is to be played in the chapel.  CLICK HERE




My Mother, Betty.

Posted by: John

Tagged in: personal



My Mother died 21st September 2011

by John Bellamy

Like a lot of you out there, I have a Mother  who moved from her warden assisted flat to a nursing care home as her mental and physical health meant she was no longer able to look after herself any longer, and there were many times when it made my heart weep. I was talked out of looking after her in my  home and while my heart desperately wanted to look after her,  my head told me I would not manage and it was not a good idea.

A while ago she had a bladder infection and she was in bed and  very distressed - staring out of unseeing eyes that did not seem to focus,  grabbing with her hands at anything and everything close - ie: the bars at the side of the hospital bed had been put up to keep her in bed as she kept sliding out and staggering up the ward - and it was quite a distressing site for many to witness - and she was chattering away - with words that did not follow any cohesive sense and while she knew my name and - kind of - that I was her son -  all sorts of other family members names came into it and I don't really think she knew me,   Her confused state was sad to witness. 

My Mother - a bright, intelligent fashion model who was one of London's top models in the 1940's  and 1950's and walked the catwalk,   also sang with many famous dance bands,  for she had a superb voice - and who raised 3 children,  was reduced to this. 

A tall proud women with a voice and an opinion of her own and no fear of speaking her mind,- a woman who was married 3 times during her life and who put up with a lot,-   A woman who had lived alone for over 20 years since her 3rd husband - my Step Father died and who lost her only daughter ( my sister ) and her baby ( my niece ) around 20 years ago when both died a few months apart ,-  A women who has always been accepting of my gay lifestyle and who loved my friends and boyfriends totally,   even if not being as accepting of my brothers wife - always being a dreadful mother-in-law and a women who all those 'mother-in-law jokes'  must have been written about,-  And a woman who was stubborn, difficult and sometimes a women who would make the angels cry because GOD she could NEVER admit fault and take responsibility and simply apologize,   and a woman who has caused much family turmoil because of her refusal - point blank refusal - to ever accept that she was ever wrong about anything - And a woman who admitted to me some years ago that she had never been in love - never really knew what love was and that - despite being married 3 times and raising a family,  had never really understood what that mysterious word 'love' - had meant - and while in her way she has loved and has been loved, she never really comprehended what it meant, and for that, I was always desperately sorry. 

Sorry that she never understood how we - her children - felt about her and sorry that she always felt the need to - somehow - try and manipulate the situation to suit herself all the time.  Sad that she  never realised we would do whatever she wanted because we loved her and not because she was being manipulative.  Sad that she always thought every situation was about her  and sad that she felt such jealously and resentment towards anyone who 'stole her limelight' - even her own grandchildren.  Sad that she resented her son being a sensational husband and father to his children and sad that she felt such resentment towards those who had something she felt she had lost out on, when the truth was - she hadn't - for she was loved - she was very cared for - and while she never understood this and while she felt alone and unloved,  other people were hurt and betrayed by her time and time again because she simply didn't get it.  She never really understood,-  and that saddens me. 

Poor Betty - my poor Mother,  and as much as we have told her over the years and as much as we have openly shown our affection and considered her in our lives - she still never got it - never realised and never allowed herself to be part of the family - preferring to isolate herself and say that she wasn't wanted all the time when the exact opposite was the truth, and we just got fed up with it. 

Towards the end, to see her bedridden and shouting for help all the time,  was not good.   I could have visited more often,  and she understood in her way.

Whatever it was she lost - and whatever it was she lacked - and for all her mistakes and all her selfish ways,  she was my Mother, I love her dearly, and no-one - NO -ONE - should be made to go through the kind of thing at the end of their lives,   and the cruelty metered out by a government and health authority  SO AGAINST EUTHANASIA beggars belief.  My Mother would not have wanted this,  and with a society where 80% of people asked agree that euthanasia is the best thing in some situations such as this,  I know she didn't suffer at the end, which came quite quickly,  and that  she can now be with my sister, her family and Jesus - in peace - which is what she spoke of.

I would tell her that it was okay - she didn't have to keep fighting and being scared - that she could go to Heaven and see Jesus and the family any time she wanted, and that she, and they, would all be young again, that she would be singing once more and surrounded by those who loved her,  and that her Father - who she never knew - would welcome her with open arms - along with Jesus.  She felt reassured with this and while her body outlived her mind -  I know she would not have wanted to live like this.  Some people need permission to 'let go' and find peace, and my Mother hung on in there and died 21st September 2011 aged 89.   She wasn't ill - she wasn't suffering anything more than being bed ridden and with dementia - her body was strong and she just seemed to 'give up' and slipped into unconsciousness and died within an hour, peacefully, and for that I thank God and the Universe.

So my Mother has now become a memory and one I shall treasure always. I shall tell stories, laugh and get angry, and always with love and affection, for while my Mother exasperated us dearly,  she was a character - and strong willed individual and she died how she lived, in her own time and in her own way.  I can hardly believe I will not see her next week or next month, when I visit and I comb her hair and paint her nails and we talk around in circles and --- but like so many people,  life goes on and we will have her cremated and sprinkle her ashes over Evening Hill - a delightful park with a stunning view over Poole and the harbour and at sunset it is simply delightful, and I often visit with friends to enjoy a fish and chip supper from a local takeaway,   and I shall remember her and be thankful that she was my Mother, who I loved dearly.

John Bellamy