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 Reading
through Brighton Pride's official magazine - I
was amazed at how few gay venues were advertised
and the main stream businesses seem to have
taken over. It was a very beautifully
produced publication - very slick and
professional and ultimately - except for the
fact that it had all the details concerning
Brighton Pride - it could well have been any
straight magazine.
The
Bournemouth version, while being miniscule in
comparison, at least had a majority of gay
business' advertising and although I was amazed
at the size of my advert for the cost - I
considered it my way of putting in something
towards the costs involved in producing our
Bourne Pride, and at least it was mainly
filled with gay venues advertising.
I have
often said that if we do not use our gay pubs,
hotels, saunas etc. then they will close down
and will never re open, as who could afford to ?
Big business is the only way forward and in
these days of credit crunch, the only people who
can weather the storm will be the big boys and
all small hotels, pubs etc. will struggle and
ultimately close.
For one
thing - I have asked myself time and time again
over the years why the hell I continue - I do
not get paid while working 12 - 18 hours a day 7
days a week - Hamilton Hall is always broke - we
do well and we are busy but the venue costs a
fortune to maintain, advertise etc. and we are
always scraping by on the overdraft and if and
when any major repair work needs doing, I have
to go back to the escort business in order to
pay for it and I shouldn't have to keep
subsidizing a venue after 9 years in business...
It's not because the venue doesn't make money -
it's that what comes in - goes out again so
quickly - and unless you are a popular bar /
sauna etc. it is hard. It seems the only
way to actually make money is to offer a crappy
service and rarely re invest in your venue but
unlike so many gay venues which are tacky, we
have high standards.
It is
true to say that for gay men and women over a
certain age, the gay scene has changed over the
years and is unrecognizable compared to what it
was just 15 - 20 years ago... let alone to
when I first came out some 40 years ago. (
God I sound old... )
I know
of scores of gay web sites whose
advertising costs prohibit small gay venues from
advertising and only the big corporate
advertisers are listed as they are the only ones
who can afford it... so Smirnoff or MyHotel are
there but not your local gay venues... and this
is on a gay site ? I think this is
disgraceful and prohibiting gay venues on a gay
site because of cost is dreadful and says a lot
about how so many know fuck all about supporting
the very community their web site is aimed
towards.
It does seem that the gay community is so
homogenized and blended into the main stream
these days that - the fight we fought for so
many years - seems to have caused us to loose
our identity as gay men and women and our
history - our gay culture and our identity is
being lost.
In the
60's and 70's gay people had a common goal - a
fight against oppression and we pulled together
a lot more than people do today and we felt we
had a community - a family - a support structure
that seems to have vanished with time.
With
the change in the law - most gay hotels have now
turned 'gay friendly' and seem content to accept
both markets and both the pink £ as well as any
other - and restricting and limiting their
income and clientele to the gay community
and so offering a safe haven seems to have been
ignored. We have demanded equality all
these years and now we have it - we have lost
something of great value - our uniqueness, our
individuality. If we ever
had a community that is. We have what we
always wanted and now we have it, we realize
exactly how valuable being different means, and
now we find ourselves all too often, lost, in a
commercial world of 'oneness' where our gay
community no longer exists.
Pride
is no longer a political statement - Pride is
just a piss up and an excuse for a few bars and
clubs to make money - to cruise and party with
thousands of others and as a pleasant arena for
gays, lesbians, trannies and straights to mix
together and have a fun time... which is
wonderful in its scope of acceptance, but
a gay event is no longer strictly gay - just
like the Brighton Pride magazine.
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So who speaks for the 'gay
community' when big business takes
over ? What IS a gay community
and where is it ? |
London ? Hardly - I have never met more gay
people who claim to be lonely while living in
London than I have anywhere else... it seems, if
there is too much variety and availability, it
breeds isolation - loads of sex maybe and loads
of choice - but no true commitment and gay
life can be lonely.
I
remember Quentin Crisp's answer when asked 'Are
you proud to be gay.' - responded...
' No I am not
proud to be gay any more than a straight person
is proud to be straight... I just am. Mind
you, I am proud to be able these days to admit
freely to being gay.'
Any
community relies on the people who assume they
are part of that community and with what appears
to be so many fucked up guys on the scene and so
much attitude, drugs and indifference towards
others, the gay community is in need of a
little first aid and many people need to learn
what it is to be a part of anything - as we are
not islands alone. We need and rely on our
close friends in times of strife and if we
cannot turn to our gay buddies, then who can we
turn to - who can we trust and who will be there
for us when we are hurting or in need ?
Last
year I felt very let down by a couple of friends
who were not there for me when I desperately
needed them and the way they reacted hurt more
than the hurt I was going through and ever
since they have gently pulled further and
further away - which after 15 years of
friendship where I have invested ENORMOUSLY and
ALWAYS been there for them through no matter
what, it taught me a lesson about who you
can trust and who you can rely on, and it
taught me that - ultimately - the gay scene can
be a horrid place to survive - a freighting
disloyal place to make friends and a lonely
place to call home. The gay community
- such as it is - needs to do some therapy on
itself and open its eyes to a new beginning as
laws are changed and re evaluate what it wants
and needs for its people in the decades ahead -
otherwise there are going to be a lot of very
lonely old gay men around and no one from the
gay community will have the time of day to offer
them anything.
Obviously I fought over the
years so our laws would be changed to allow us
equality - and obviously it is a good thing -
but we need to remember who we are and what the
fight was for and the reasons behind it all.
We need to keep in mind our differences and
fight against vanishing into the fabric of
sameness that seems the way for so many people
and we need to keep the gay scene - the gay
community - whatever that means - alive for
future generations.
Or is it too late - has the
gay scene become just another part of the larger
- watered down - society - and lost itself along
the way. Maybe ?
John
Bellamy (©JB120709)
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old age has its
advantages
One day the
poodle starts chasing butterflies
and before long, Cuddles discovers
that he's lost. Wandering about, he
notices a leopard heading rapidly in
his direction with the intention of
having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm
in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he
immediately settles down to chew on
the bones with his back to the
approaching cat. Just as the leopard
is about to leap the old poodle
exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there
are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard
halts his attack in mid-strike, a
look of terror comes over him and he
slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!'
says the leopard, 'That was close!
That old poodle nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been
watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this
knowledge to good use and trade it
for protection from the leopard. So
off he goes, but the old poodle sees
him heading after the leopard with
great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey
soon catches up with the leopard,
spills the beans and strikes a deal
for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at
being made a fool of and says,
'Here, monkey, hop on my back and
see what's going to happen to that
conniving canine!
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard
coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, 'What am I going to do
now?', but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his
attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
them yet, and just when they get
close enough to hear, the old poodle
says.
'Where's that damn monkey? I sent
him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old farts .. age and
treachery will always overcome youth
and skill! Bullshit and brilliance
only come with age and experience.
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The rainbow flag has become the easily recognized colors
of pride for the gay community. The multicultural symbolism of the rainbow is
nothing new. Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition also embraces the rainbow as a
symbol of that political movement. The rainbow also plays a part in many myths
and stories related to gender and sexuality issues in Greek, Native American,
African, and other cultures.
Use of the rainbow flag by the gay community began in
1978 when it first appeared in the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day
Parade. Borrowing symbolism from the hippie movement and black civil rights
groups, San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker designed the rainbow flag in
response to a need for a symbol that could be used year after year.
Version A) Baker designed a flag with eight stripes . According to Baker, those colors represented, respectively:
sexuality, life, healing, sun, nature, art, harmony, and spirit. Baker dyed
and sewed the material for the first flag himself - in the true spirit of
Betsy Ross.
Version B) Baker and thirty volunteers hand stitched and hand dyed two huge
prototype flags for the parade. The flags had eight stripes, each color
representing a component of the community: hot pink for sex, red for life,
orange for healing, yellow for sun, green for nature, turquoise for art,
indigo for harmony, and violet for spirit.
Version A) Baker soon approached San Francisco's
Paramount Flag Company about mass producing and selling his "gay flag".
Unfortunately, Baker had hand dyed all the colors, and since the color "hot
pink" was not commercially available, mass production of his eight striped
version became impossible. The flag was thus reduced to seven stripes.
Version B) San Francisco-based Paramount Flag Co. began selling seven-striped
(top to bottom: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet) flags
from its Polk Street retail store, which was located in a large gay
neighborhood. These flags were surplus stock which had originally been made
for the the International Order of Rainbow for Girls, a Masonic organization
for young women. When Baker approached Paramount to make flags for the 1979
Gay Freedom Day Parade, Paramount informed Baker that fabric for hot pink was
not available for mass production, and Baker dropped the hot pink stripe.
Steve Kramer, 24 April 1998
In November 1978, San Francisco's gay community was
stunned when the city's first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was
assassinated. Wishing to demonstrate the gay community's strength and
solidarity in the aftermath of this tragedy, the 1979 Pride Parade Committee
decided to use Baker's flag. The committee eliminated the indigo stripe so
they could divide the colors evenly along the parade route, three colors on
one side of the street, and three on the other. Soon the six colors were incorporated into a six striped
version that became popularized and that, today, is recognized by the
International Congress of Flag Makers.
Color has long played an important role in our
community's _expression of pride. In Victorian England, for example, the color
green was associated with homosexuality. The color purple (or, more
accurately, lavender) became popularized as a symbol for pride in the late
1960s a frequent post Stonewall catchword for the gay community was "Purple
Power." And, of course, there's the pink triangle. Although it was first used
in Nazi Germany to identify gay males in concentration camps, the pink
triangle only received widespread use as a gay pop icon in the early 1980s.
But the most colorful of our symbols is the Rainbow Flag, and its rainbow of
colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple represents the diversity
of our community.
In 1994, a huge
30 foot wide by one mile long rainbow flag was carried by 10,000 people in New
York's Stonewall 25 Parade.
The Rainbow Flag celebrated its 25th year as a symbol of
gay and lesbian pride in 2003. To mark this anniversary, creator Gilbert
Baker gave the familiar flag a wee bit of a makeover.
The San Francisco artist wanted the flag to be a symbol of pride in a time of
rampant anti-gay sentiment. The flag as created by Baker, contained eight
colours in its original form: fuchsia, red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise,
blue, purple and pink.
Baker's reworked flag was revealed in Key West on June 15th. The flag once
again contained all eight rainbow colours as Baker originally intended. "We
lost two of the original colours, pink and turquoise, because they could not
be commercially produced back in 1978," Baker said in a press release. "It's
time, however, to restore the original design. First of all, it's simply more
beautiful, more authentic. Besides, when we lost the pink, we lost the symbol
for sexual liberation. The missing turquoise honors Native Americans and the
magic of life. Both colours are needed to embrace our history."
The flag was to be so large that it would stretch across the entire main
island from the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. Unfurling the
recording-breaking banner would be the finale of the PrideFest 2003
celebration, entitled "Sea-to-Sea Diversity."
After being displayed, more than a 100 sections of the 1.25 mile flag would be
given to Pride organizations in cities across the U.S.
"For Rainbow25, I will restore the Rainbow Flag to its original 8 colours and
bring it to cities worldwide -- as my gift to the community that embraced it,"
Baker said. "When I raised the first rainbow in San Francisco in 1978 I
instantly knew that my flag belonged to every lesbian and gay man.
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The Sound of Music
 which,
in its day, was the highest-grossing
Broadway play and then the highest-grossing
film in entertainment history. It originated
as a 1959 Broadway production starring Mary
Martin:
"Vincent J. Donehue was a former actor and
Tony award-winning stage director who had
gone to work at Paramount late in 1956. One
day he was asked to look at a German film
called The Trapp Family Singers which
had been a big success in Europe and South
America, with a view to his directing a
movie in English based upon it and starring
Audrey Hepburn. The German film told the
life story of Maria, Baroness von Trapp, and
her beginnings as a postulant nun in Austria
who was sent to be governess to the seven
children of the widowed Georg von Trapp.
They were later married and escaped from
Austria just before the Anschluss, finding
their way across the Alps into Switzerland
and from there to the United States, where
they became famous as the singing Trapps.
" 'It was in many ways amateurish,' Donehue
said of the film, 'but I was terribly moved
by the whole idea of it, almost sobbing.' He
saw it immediately as a perfect vehicle for
Mary Martin, whose husband, Richard Halliday,
was one of his closest friends. When Audrey
Hepburn's interest in the projec t
faded, Paramount lost its enthusiasm and let
its option lapse. Donehue sent the German
film to Richard Halliday. Both he and Mary
Martin loved the film. 'The idea was just
irresistible,' Mary said, 'a semi-Cinderella
story, but true.'
"Actually, it wasn't true at all. The
real-life Maria Rainer had had a loveless
childhood as the ward of a provincial judge
and joined a monastery where, far from being
a ray of sunshine, she became so ill she was
sent 'outside' to be a governess to one of
Georg von Trapp's daughters, who was
bedridden. Unlike the music-hating martinet
portrayed in the [Broadway] version, von
Trapp was a loving parent who encouraged his
children to play instruments and sing. Nor
did they escape over the Alps pursued by the
Nazis; they took a train to Italy and
reached America by way of England.
"Nevertheless, there was not the slightest
doubt in Halliday's or Mary Martin's minds
that it would make a great musical, and both
agreed from the outset that they wanted
Rodgers and Hammerstein to produce it. But
there were all sorts of obstacles to be
overcome before anything like a Broadway
show could be mounted. First, Halliday had
to try to locate Maria von Trapp and her
children, all of whose permissions would be
required if they were to be portrayed live
on stage. The Baroness, however, was hard to
find. She was on a world tour, establishing
missions in the South Seas. Letters
addressed to her in Australia, Tahiti,
Samoa, and other locations failed to reach
her. In addition, the seven von Trapp
children were scattered in various places
around the world and were proving just as
elusive.
"At this point, Halliday's lawyer Bill
Fitelson brought in producer Leland Hayward,
and Hayward became as enthusiastic as
everyone else about the possibilities of the
story. Together, Hayward and Fitelson chased
all over Europe picking up hints and clues
as to the whereabouts of the Trapp children.
By the autumn of 1957, they had all the
necessary permissions sewn together. The
seven von Trapp children had been traced and
had signed on the dotted line. The contract
with Baroness von Trapp was finalized in a
hospital ward in Innsbruck, where she was
recuperating from malaria contracted in New
Guinea. Leland Hayward, who spoke no German,
concluded his negotiations with the
representative of the German film company,
who spoke no English, in Yiddish!"
Frederick Nolan, The Sound of Their
Music, Applause Books, by
Frederick Nolan, pp. 244-246
The
real story of the von Trapp family
Singers
The Sound
Of Music is one of the most popular
musical films eve r
made. It is the story of the von Trapps—
seven motherless children, their stern
sea-captain father, and most of all,
their feisty, but sweet governess. Yet,
the von Trapps Family is not just a
Hollywood creation. They are an actual
family—and the story of the real von
Trapps could not be more different from
the musical version. Georg von Trapp, a
widowed Austrian aristocrat did marry
the governess, Maria Kutschera. When the
von Trapps lost their considerable
fortune in a bank crash, Maria took
over. With the help of a local priest,
she took the family hobby—singing—and
turned it into the family profession.
Before long, the von Trapp Family was
performing all over Europe.
In March
of 1938, the Nazis marched into Salzburg
and the von Trapps decided it was time
to leave Austria. Maria arranged an
American concert tour, and the family
was able to escape Hitler. They left
behind their home and all that remained
of their wealth, and would never return.
They did not need to climb any mountains
to escape. They left by train (the local
stop was directly behind their estate)
and made their way to Italy and then to
America without incident. Once in the
United States, the von Trapps struggled
to establish themselves as a choral
singing group. They sang mostly in
German, had a repertoire of difficult
classical music, and dressed like
refugees. But Maria would not let them
fail. She hired a top manager and a
publicist. Before long, the family
singing group became quite a phenomenon.
Even when
the family was at the height of their
popularity, Maria would not let them
rest. The ten children (Maria and Georg
had three children together) toured up
to eight months a year. During the
summer they worked their Vermont farm
and ran a music camp. The isolation of a
life on the road or on the farm,
combined with constant work and Maria's
volatile temper, took its toll. Rosmarie,
Maria's eldest child, suffered a nervous
breakdown and her mother sent her for
electro-shock therapy. Another daughter
ran away to elope. Before long, Maria
was forced to hire non-family members
for the family singing group. The family
suffered, but Maria made them sound
harmonious and heroic in her book, The
Trapp Family Singers, which she wrote as
a way to help promote the group. To her
surprise, the book was a success and it
would eventually find its way into the
hands of the reigning Broadway star of
the 1950s, Mary Martin. Martin and her
producers started to work on the project
that would become The Sound Of Music -
the musical that vaulted a family of
Austrian immigrants to worldwide
attention and made Maria a celebrity.
While The
Sound Of Music has been an extremely
successful and profitable property, the
von Trapps themselves profited little
from the musical interpretation of their
lives. Maria had sold the rights to her
book for a flat fee—no royalties—long
before Mary Martin came into the
picture. Today, most of the surviving
von Trapp Family live down-to-earth
lives in rural Vermont. The Sound Of
Music continues to captivate audiences
around the world. On March 12, 1998, the
revival of the musical opened on
Broadway, and every year some 500 to 600
high schools perform their versions the
show. The von Trapps take pride not in
The Sound Of Music, but in their own
music—music that they performed together
as a family for almost twenty years.
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stories of prostitutes,
courtesans, and ladies with injured reputations explode in the new mass
media of 18th century Europe:
"Gossip about sexual liaisons first started to be broadcast in an
explosion of print at the beginning of the 18th century. Sex and how it
figured within the lives of prostitutes, bawds and aristocrats became a
topic aimed at an audience with an increasing appetite for titillation.
...
"This market had been fostered by a long literary tradition. Daniel
Defoe wrote about the adventures of Moll Flanders (1722) and
Roxana (1724). The theme where the subject is a feminine protagonist
who uses her sexual attributes to advance her fortunes was taken to its
most extreme form in the adventures of Fanny Hill in John Cleland's
Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (1749), which, though initially
suppressed, was one of the most popular pornographic novels of the 18th
century. Real-life prostitutes such as Sally Salisbury, Fanny Murray and
Kitty Fisher became the subject of a genre of memoirs now known as Whore
Biographies in books such as The Effigies, Parentage, Education,
Life, Merry-Pranks and Conversation of the celebrated Mrs Sally
Salisbury (1723), Memoirs of the celebrated Miss Fanny M*****(1759)
and The uncommon Adventures of Miss Kitty F*****r (1759). Their
full names in the titles were tantalizingly omitted, although everyone
would have recognized who they were. Gossip around these women and their
lovers filled the taverns. Broadsheets and pamphlets recorded their
activities. Songs and poems were written about them and cartoons
depicted them. Later memoirs often appeared as a series of instalments
in magazines or cheap pamphlets, each ending in a cliff- hanger to keep
the audience on edge. Those who could afford to might indulge in the
full versions bound in calf skin.
"The bricklayer's daughter Sally Salisbury (c.1690-1724) was one of the
first prostitutes to feature in biography. Two books on her life
appeared in 1723. ... Men flocked to her but, at the height of her fame,
she ruined it all when she stabbed with a bread knife one of her lovers,
the Hon. John Finch, son of the 2nd Earl of Nottingham. She died of
fever in prison but not before Finch had sent word of forgiveness and
pleaded with the authorities to let her go. In the memoirs Sally is
depicted as generous and witty but foolhardy and hopeless with money.
These characteristics were to become standard in the writings about
women of the town and featured in their own self-promotion when they
wrote about themselves. ...
"Many of the better-known whores found themselves without a man's
protection only to discover that biographers had already turned
embellished versions of their life stories into hard cash. A flurry of
books about courtesans who had made their names through their alliances
with famous men appeared in the 1750s and 1760s. These so-called
'memoirs' were in fact written by hard-up male hacks eager to make a
living. They tell us more about contemporary ideas of prostitution than
about the women themselves. A set pattern emerges in descriptions of the
women: they came from poor backgrounds, they had fallen into
prostitution having been seduced or raped, their reputation ruined
because of a single initial sexual misdemeanour; others clawed their way
out of a life of poverty, acting as mistresses to a string of rich men.
...
"Many readers did not care whether the tales were excessive or not -
they knew the characters involved and liked to read about their
scandalous behaviour. Increasingly the women themselves started to wise
up to these idealized memoirs, which presented a male-orientated view of
prostitution and frequently fabricated details. Why let unscrupulous
hacks and publishers make money out of their stories? However, like the
fake 'whore' memoirs, the auto-biographies of real courtesans are also
not necessarily true statements of fact, but filled with exaggerations,
outrageous adventures and crises. There was a stock of virtues from
which they portrayed themselves - they were charitable, kind to the
elderly, honest and loving - although they also come across as
extravagant and vengeful. Naming and shaming was a sure way to attract
the attention these women felt they deserved. Courtesans took the
opportunity to slate their erstwhile lovers who had reneged on their
promises or who had not provided for them adequately. ...
"One of the ways to safeguard against a dwindling income in later life
was for courtesans to secure annuities from their lovers at the height
of an affair. These took the form of a certificate drawn up by a
solicitor promising an annual sum to be paid by the man to the woman in
return for her having given herself to him. In theory these would
continue to be paid after the affair had died. Most men subsequently
reneged on the deal.
"The whore autobiography reached its apogee in 1825 with the publication
of the memoir of the notorious courtesan Harriette Wilson (1786-1845).
Harriette was renowned in the late 18th century as a wit and thrower of
good parties. Part of the demi-monde, she skirted the edges of
respectability, taking her lovers from the elite. Walter Scott described
her as 'A smart saucy girl ... with the manners of a wild schoolboy'.
She displayed herself in theatrical boxes, entertaining young men and
dropped titled men as she felt like it. At the top of her profession,
she could demand small fortunes for her company, but once she aged, her
clientele dwindled into a handful of older and less well-off beaus."
Julia Peakman, "Blaming and Shaming in Whore's Memoirs," History
Today, August 2009, pp. 33-39.
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Did you know this ?
Single women kept their hair tightly pinned up in public, until they were married. Some single women "let their hair down", these were called "loose women".
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery - if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
Worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...........they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
In those days they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat".
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle and guests got the top or the "upper crust".
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake".
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".
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A new web site for the work from the books Conversation
With God
has just opened for the UK. Take a look, It's well done.
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gaydar and the likes:
Why are there so many time wasters on web sites like
gaydar ? Why do so many people make appointments to meet you
and then do not show up - and often when they do, they are nothing
like they described - often decades older and inches shorter and not
what you were expecting at all ? Why do they lie - why do so many
seem to live in a delusional world of fantasy that bears no
resemblance to reality when it stands right in front of you and you
can see for yourself that this man with 6 inches of cock is
not a Brad Pitt look-a-like and his cock is never going to grow to
be the claimed 9inches and WHY OH WHY are so many ACTIVE MEN -
passive queens who cannot wait to get their legs in the air and get
screwed to the floor screaming ' Fuck me Daddy... fuck me.'
From my everso wide experience, I would have to say that 95% of gay
men are passive and despite what they claim, enjoy getting
fucked - - so why do they claim to be active. Even those who
say VERSATILE - are actually 95% passive, it just means that they
can fuck, but actually, prefer not to.
It seems, many people are untruthful even to themselves and it is
only when they admit the truth to themselves can they then truly
start to live their lives.
I remember years ago - after more than 10 years attending a gym 3
times a week, I stopped going for a period and for 8
long months I kept telling myself I was going to start again...
every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I would make excuses to myself as
to why I had not gone that day and swore I would go in 2 days time...
and after 8 months I suddenly realized I was not going to go again,
that I had quit, and to stop lying to myself, and it was like a
revelation... all the lies stopped and I was - kinda - re born in
truth.
So why do so many lie on gaydar ?
Answer - Men are all little boys and largely scared of sex. Oh they
want it... but they are never-the-less scared of sex... and it is
easier to be brave at home and live the fantasy and yet often cannot
live up to their bullshit in the flesh and we are then disappointed.
Men are also emotional cripples - women being the stronger -
FAR STRONGER - of the sexes and we have a LOT to learn as adults.
So the next time you are on gaydar or silverdaddies or any of these
kind of sites, for God's sake, stop your bullshit lies and for once
in your life, tell the truth, and if you are fat, say so and don't
say CHUNKY - and if you have a small dick, be honest and say so...
as people will see and realize that you are delusional and then you
will just look like a real and complete lying moron.
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.
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A brief overview by John Tanner
Its psychological effects can be subtle and hard to
classify, but common effects can be relaxation, euphoria, feelings of
hilarity and introspection. Music sounds better, food tastes
great and for violent and aggressive people, it usually alms them down
and makes them more peaceful.
In some users it can also
produce anxiety or panic, short-term memory loss, confusion and poor
coordination.
Heavy users may become
lethargic and apathetic and find it hard to concentrate, but then,
the same can be said for heavy drinkers also except all too often
boozers can become aggressive as well.
It may bring on a craving for
food (often referred to as 'having the munchies') which many years ago
when a friend was not eating because his HIV medication made him
nauseas, smoking a joint in the evening
meant he wanted to eat and his whole health regime picked up and his
health was vastly improved.
Cooking the drug then eating
it makes the effects more intense and harder to control, which is
again, just like booze. If you do anything to excess, it
will be hard to control.
Some people with Multiple Sclerosis, Arthritis,
Glaucoma and many other ailments say that Cannabis helps relieve their
symptoms and pain and claim that the law is an ass. Medical reasons
for using Cannabis are known to be huge but they - whoever THEY are -
would rather you use a chemical drug rather than a natural drug,
and we all know how many side effects chemical drugs have and the
problems many have with these chemicals.
Risks:
Cannabis is high in
carcinogens and regular use may cause cancer and damage the lungs,
or so we are told, but in truth, the tobacco it is
usually mixed with for smoking, is FAR more dangerous than the
weed itself, yet this is rarely mentioned in commentaries
concerning Cannabis.
Although not physically
addictive (in the same way as heroin is), it is often claimed that
regular users can become psychologically dependent, and feel they
can't get by without it, but this is also, generally
speaking, only a half truth. Some people may have
difficulties with becoming addicted to anything in life and will
endeavor to become addicted to cigarettes, booze, or even gambling,
sex and jogging and
THIS is more the problem and not the drug. Take away one
addiction and another will often fill the void, so it is wrong to
blame the weed.
BUT: That is not to say that with some - a few - a very few -
it MAY cause addiction problems.
Mixing cannabis and other
drugs, including alcohol, can have unpredictable effects. Just like
mixing your drinks.
Law:
Cannabis was downgraded from a category B to a category C drug
on January 29th 2004. From then on, people were not usually
arrested for possession - but it still remained an illegal substance.
It seems that as of May 2006, the government was thinking - once
again - of upgrading it to a class B drug again, mostly it seems from
my viewpoint that many have told too
many lies and deceptions concerning this drug and out of the frat and
panic that these kind of people seem to wallow around in, it may
once again be upgraded.
Some circumstances could
still lead to you being arrested - like smoking it in public, having
the drug around children, or for being a 'habitual user'. Under 17s
will still be arrested for using the drug.
There is not yet a fixed
amount for what users can say is for their own consumption, which some
critics of the new legislation say could be confusing.
If you are caught with the drug, you'll be given a warning and ordered
to hand it over to the police. If this is repeated, you could be
landed with a fine, go to court and have a criminal record.
The maximum jail sentence for being caught in possession of Cannabis
will be reduced from five to two years, but the maximum sentence for
supplying the drug will be unchanged at 14 years.
Although it's not an offence to possess cannabis seeds it is illegal
to grow them.
Many people enjoy using or
experimenting with Cannabis; Consider the amount of books and music
written extolling its effects. But remember it is still illegal to
possess the drug.
-----------------------------------------
Medical
Marijuana: Bipartisan House Coalition Challenges FDA Medical Marijuana
Finding
4/28/06
A week after
the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued a one-page opinion
claiming marijuana has no proven medical uses -- a position that
ignores the much more comprehensive analysis done by the National
Academy of Science's Institute of Medicine in 1999 -- a bipartisan
group of 24 House members led by Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-NY) has
called on the agency to explain its reasoning and offer scientific
proof for its position.
"Despite the
fact that you are responding to a scientific question, your press
release failed to provide any scientific expertise," the
representatives wrote in
a Thursday letter to FDA Acting Commissioner Andrew von Eschenbach.
"We call on you to show us the purported scientific evidence for the
basis of this response. There is no evidence that you have new
scientific proof or that you oversaw clinical trials. It perplexes us
that even though the FDA is responsible for protecting public health,
the agency has failed to respond adequately to the IOM's findings
seven years after the study's publication date."
Last
week, the FDA issued a one-page press release declaring that "no sound
scientific studies supported medical use of marijuana for treatment in
the United States, and no animal or human data supported the safety or
efficacy of marijuana for general medical use." The press release did
not point to any studies that supported its contention, and it has
become an object of controversy among medical marijuana proponents and
scientists who have actually done research on marijuana.
Hinchey
accused the agency of playing politics with people's lives. "We saw it
with the agency's decision on the emergency contraceptive, Plan B, and
we're seeing it again with medical marijuana: the FDA is making
decisions based on politics instead of science," Hinchey said. "The
FDA should not be a political entity. Rather, the agency should be in
the business of ensuring all Americans have access to safe and
effective drugs, including medical marijuana."
Rep.
Hinchey is one of the most ardent defenders of medical marijuana in
the House. He has sponsored an amendment that would bar the federal
government from prosecuting medical marijuana patients in three
consecutive sessions, and he has vowed to offer it again later this
year.
A response from JB
So as you can see, bullshit seems the order of
the day and when the FDA even lies and covers up the truth and states
untrue facts as facts, how on God's earth can anyone hope to find the
truth.
On one of the official web sites concerning Cannabis it states
that people who use Cannabis are more likely to have unprotected sex,
which I would strongly argue was clap trap.
I know many who have smoked dope for years and NOT ONE would
EVER - EVER - EVER EVER EVER - think - STONED OR NOT - to have
unprotected sex - and this fact alone would make me question the
validity of what else is stated on many official web sites.
Bemoaning the dangers of Cannabis is fine if it
is going to be done equally and fairly with truth and honesty,
yet where do we find health warnings on booze, for alcohol kills tens
of thousands of people every year and it destroys family life,
businesses, tens of thousands of work days are lost each year
because of hangovers, people are killed in drink drive
accidents, families are torn apart, town centers after
dark can become 'no go areas' because of the violence associated with
drinkers;- and yet where is the education concerning these facts
?
The claim that all 'street walkers ' -
prostitutes - are heroin addicts and/or paying off a pimp - and this is about as
unrealistic as can be. It can be true, but most street
walkers are just trying to make ends meet and DO NOT take heroin and
do not have an addiction. Some do - of course, but most work
hard just trying to put food on the table for their children. Most
would rather be at home in bed than walking the streets and when fined
in the courts for loitering - or curb crawling - GUESS WHERE THEY GET
THE MONEY TO PAY THE FINES... YUP - BACK ON THE STREETS. So the
court is making these girls work the streets and then take their 'cut'
by fining them and sending them back to the streets to earn the money
to pay the fine. These girls are all too often victims of the system -
uneducated and ignorant - with little opportunity of a job that will
earn them enough to make ends meet - and the system lies about them,
turns the public against them with bad media coverage and treats them
worse than dirt. These SOCIAL WORKERS.
In the UK in 2004: ref: Independent
newspaper.
Deaths due to alcohol - 22,000
Deaths due to tobacco - 114,000
Deaths to Cannabis - 16
I had an old lady friend some years ago whose
family wanted to put her into an old peoples home as her arthritis was
so bad, she couldn't look after herself. Her nephew gave her some dope
and she learned how to make it into tea each evening, and her joints (
pun intended ) eased and she was able to stay at home and look after
herself. The transformation was remarkable, and then the FDA (
above ) comes out with such clap trap it is almost funny, if it wasn't
so damned sad.
We
at Hamilton Hall do not promote the taking of drugs any more than we
do booze and fags,- and we state that whatever you do, do it in
moderation, keep it away from minors and keep it private and above all
LEGAL. More and more people are using recreational drugs and the
Nanny State has a vested interest in keeping things - more or less -
exactly as they are.
Learn some facts and do not blindly believe what the media or
government health officials claim. ( Just look at the Cancer Industry
and the financial incentives offered to keep things just the way they
are, which is often NOT for the betterment of the patients..)
Research for yourself.
They say that cigarettes lead to throat and lung cancers and yet when
a friend died last July (2004) of throat cancer, the doctors told us
that cigarettes were the 3rd main cause and refused to help us get him
to stop smoking and refused - THEY REFUSED - to give him patches to
even cut down his smoking... - Binge drinking was the
second highest cause of throat cancer - and URBAN LIVING - the
pollutants in the air from cars and industry, are the biggest cause of
throat and lung cancers, and yet they bemoan drugs like cannabis
and run around in circles banning smoking in public places while doing
nothing - absolutely bog all - to curb the real dangers to public
health.
I am
not saying smoking is healthy - I am not suggesting getting stoned or
shooting up is a healthy option, and I believe in keeping it legal.
And shall we talk about all the harmful
chemicals and drugs
that the government allows in the food chain, like human
excrement and dead rotten sheep fed to cows etc..... Drinks like
Sunny Delight with tons of chemicals. Aspartame which has been proven
to be harmful to health and yet is in almost every diet and low sugar
drink and food.
But then, it's not about people, it's about money and control. It's
about filling our heads with half truths and keeping the status quo as
it is, nice and quiet, controllable and accountable.
It's about big business making a fortune from petroleum / chemical
products that have been proven to be dangerous to our health but which
earns them millions, whereas alternatives can be grown cheaply
and easily with Cannabis. Fabrics. Building materials.
Foods. Ethanol. Pain control and other healing elements.
Paper products and plastics. Good for the soil.
DO NOT sniff, inject, smoke, drink, eat, rub on,
ANYTHING unless you know what you are doing and you have made an
educated and informed decision to do so. And this goes for the
millions of pharmaceutical products that can kill and ruin thousands
of peoples lives every year, and these are legal. Be aware that the
chemical industry kills while claiming to create a brighter future for
us... Much of what they offer is brilliant and in unseen in our
daily lives and they are to be congratulated, but sadly there is
always the down side and much harm is also done and people suffer.
It seems, we can't have one without the other. Or can we ?
If we were all just a little more educated and 'aware' - it would
help.
When paper is made from wood pulp in needs HUGE amounts of bleach.
When paper is made from cannabis pulp - no bleach is needed. All
historical books like the King James Bible and even the Doomsday Book
were all written on Cannabis Hemp paper.
Medicines - Cannabis is useful in many ailments like Arthritis. Blood
sugar problems, MS, ME. Glaucoma etc. and yet the government /
chemical giants want you to take their toxic chemical drugs instead of
a natural substance which helps. ALL
indigenous tribes on this planet used a drug of choice in their
spiritual ceremonies - their dream time - vision quests -
channeling sessions etc. and the church are against this natural
choice to open consciousness and would rather ban the use of drugs to
stop people having a direct line to God, as they want us to use
them, the switchboard, as it earns them power, wealth and choir
boys... not in that order though... When you
grow cotton you need masses of chemicals. When you grow Cannabis
for the fabric that can be made from it - and you can make soft silk
like fabrics right up to tough hard wearing fabrics like Canvas ( the
word Canvas comes from the word Cannabis - it's a 6,000 year old
Sumerian word ) you need no chemical products at all, and you can grow
up to 6 times the amount of fabric per square acre than you get from
cotton and NO CHEMICALS. Chances are, Jesus wore clothes made
from Cannabis as it is mentioned in ancient biblical texts.
Cannabis can be grown without the bit that gets
you high. For countries like Australia with
one inch of top soil ( The UK has over 6 feet of top soil ) it
is fast becoming a vast desert unless plants like Cannabis are
planted. It sends a tap root right down deep for water and a mesh of
roots on the surface which hold the soil in place and this DOES NOT
infect the soil with resins likely to make anything else toxic or
'high' - as is wrongly claimed sometimes. It holds the soil in
place and is good for the environment.
Tomato
plants are HUGELY TOXIC and MUST be grown in grow-bags which are
thrown out at the end of the year. In commercial greenhouses, the soil
is steamed by high temperature and high pressure systems to kill the
bacteria - yet they claim Cannabis is toxic.... ? ? ?
911 and some alternative viewpoints as to why the twin
towers came down
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=324971467591024715
To watch the video on how the World Trade centres
were deliberately brought down but NOT with the planes but with
explosives placed there by the USA - click on the link above.
And if you still think the WTC was brought down by
Arab terrorists, you haven't paid attention. In the video
above you will see the extra explosives going off, listen to numerous
experts and wonder why there are scores of reasons why the US government
withheld information, gagged people, dragged its feet, and
did all in its power NOT TO HAVE THE TRUTH COME OUT IN THE OFFICIAL 911
INVESTIGATION. The people of the world have been massively lied to
- we have gone to war and tens of thousands of people have died and
multi billions of £ and $ have been spent because of what happened that
day on Sept. 11th and it was all ONE HUGE BIG FAT LIE and you do not
have to buy it any longer.
http://www.911truth.org/ Is also
a good web site for more information concerning this most enigmatic and
frightening day that many of us will never - ever - forget.
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by John Bellamy
Michael died at 2.30am on the
morning of June 22nd
2004 from complications due to having throat cancer. His lover and carer was
with him at the time and holding his hand and his parents were close by. After a
somewhat traumatic and upsetting few weeks, Michael was transferred from his
home here at Hamilton Hall, to the local Macmillan's unit in Christchurch, where
he died that night. I had prayed for his suffering to cease, and it appears my
prayers were answered.
Michael was only 36 years of age and
was a wonderful – although sometimes difficult person who was not afraid to
speak his mind and the sort of person I admired in many ways, as I love a
challenge, and he did, at times, challenge me, as he challenged his lover. He
was gentle, loving and kind and at the same time could be awkward and difficult,
much the same as anyone else I suppose, and loved his computer enormously,
especially the new one bought by his parents recently.
Computers were his life.
He also loved his booze and
sometimes a little too much, and he also smoked up until the end, although
apparently, 'urban living' is the highest cause of throat cancers.
I shall miss him enormously.
Michael was my computer man as well.
He set up my original web page up and showed me how to manage it. He was really
pleased after the initial set up and a few days later came and saw how much I
had done. I think he thought I was a complete computer dummy – which to a large
degree I still am, but I am a quick learner and although still very computer dim
witted, I was pleased to have impressed him with my work to date.
www.hamiltonhall.info
has radically changed the way Hamilton Hall works. I hardly ever need to send
out brochures these days as it’s all on here. I can edit and change whatever and
whenever I want, and I am so thankful to Michael for that.
Bless him.
----------------------------
Thank you God for the blessed friend
I had in Michael.
Thank you for the love and joy he
brought into my days.
Thank you for the love and joy he
brought into the life of all those who knew him.
Guide us in these hours of grief and
– please dear God – look down upon those who grieve and send a special guardian
angel to envelope them in healing energies of love, so their grief will lessen
as the love and joys shared, are remembered first and foremost, and not those
pictures that are clear and sharp, of Michael at the end.
I cry for his lover at this time, as
I cry for his parents.
To loose a son, the youngest of
three, is devastating, and no words can comfort, no deeds can ease the pain.
A hug in silence – of shared
understanding – an encouragement to allow tears to flow, at any time, for crying
is from love, - and crying – ultimately – heals.
Dear God, every morning with
awakening, the thoughts flood back and the tears flow again as realisations are
recalled and – with a heavy heart, another day commences. Wondering how it is
possible to cope – wondering why –
‘Should I have done this,- Maybe I
should have done that. Why didn’t I do this… Maybe I was unfair when I said …..’
And we continue to do a post-mortem
of our actions, and often, we can always think of things we should have done –
or said – and we cry some more. Yet the truth is – we do our best and no-one can
expect more than that. We do our best in difficult circumstances and all – kind
of – in a haze – sometimes – as it seems unreal :
– ‘ It’s a dream – this can’t be
happening – when will I wake up – PLEASE let me wake up, and find an end of this
nightmare, this is unreal. But I am awake, and this pain, these tears, are
real, and I can’t - I don’t …..’
There are no words to describe.
Michael would have wanted everyone
to be happy – and one day, once again, we will be, and out of love and respect
for Michael, we will remember these months with a smile of remembrance and
gratitude, and with love, - and we may even cry, - but not the same tears as at
present… not as intense… but just as sincere.
For life goes on.
I know that we were there for
Michael at a time in his life when he truly needed – not just a lover, but
friendship and support from those closest to him at home, and I believe that God
sent him to us so that we could care for him, watch over him and be with him at
the end of his life. I thank God for allowing me personally, the privilege and
honour of being a part of the life and ultimate death, of Michael Radcliff.
----------------------------------------
Michael died through complications
of throat cancer aged just 36 - yet actually died because two doctors at the
hospital did not recognise that Michael was suffering from peritonitis - blood
poisoning, brought on by the tube in his stomach where all his food, drinks and
medication had to pass directly into his stomach and not through his throat. Two
doctors overlooked the problem that we had especially taken him to them to check
and both doctors said there was nothing wrong, and within 48 hours he went down
hill mega fast and died. His family just wanted an end to it all and did not
complain but the incompetent doctors - supposedly in one of the finest NHS
cancer hospitals in the country, caused Michael's premature death. He was told
he had some months left to enjoy and yet their lack of action caused his death
within 3 weeks.
Be aware. The biggest cause of death
in the western world is not cancer, heart attacks, stress or anything else... it
is the medical profession like the NHS. More die from misdiagnosis,
being given the wrong medication or even the right medication that many have an
adverse reaction to, and now with the MRSA Virus claiming the lives of over
5,000 people in UK hospitals within the last year, and all because they do not
keep these places clean enough, we MUST take care when needing hospital
treatment. Ask questions. DO NOT TRUST YOUR DOCTOR TO BE EFFICIENT - CHECK -
CHECK AND CHECK EVERYTHING YOUR DOCTOR SAYS AND DOES AND NEVER STOP ASKING
QUESTIONS. Keep notes, dates, names, things said, names of drugs, a daily
report. Be responsible for your own health as YOU CANNOT EXPECT THE DOCTORS TO
TAKE GOOD AND DECENT CARE OF YOU.
It's a shame as there are many fine and decent doctors and nurses who work hard
and offer a good service, save lives and take a genuine interest in those in
their care, but it is not always this way.
Michael was dying of throat cancer misdiagnosed as Tonsillitis for many months.
The hospital's cancer ward seemed proficient yet allowed many mistakes to occur
and even sent him home many times when he should have been in a hospice under a
watchful eye. At no time during his treatment was he or his lover offered
counseling even when he was given a few months to live. It appears he was being
treated on the ear, nose and throat wards and the counselors for cancer patients
are on the cancer wards..... and so none were offered and even after asking,
nothing was forthcoming. Only right near the end do the Macmillan people get
involved and they were lovely. kind, caring and efficient, but it was too late
for Michael and where was the help when his lover could have done with it many
months beforehand ?
I cannot speak high enough about the Macmillan people, and to them I offer my
deepest thanks. The NHS however, needs a very serious kick up the backside and
not just a great deal of money invested, it needs, like BT, British gas and just
about any large multi national, to check the worthiness of some of their staff
and make sure they are competent. Peoples lives are at serious risk.
I am one of those pushy people who
ask and demand services that should be, and are, available, and please don't be
embarrassed in making a complaint if you think you are not getting what you need
from YOUR NHS.
Your life, or that of someone you
love, could depend on it.
|
by John Bellamy
Cold foggy day. Early afternoon.
Dew still on the lawn as I drove in.
Avenue of Pine Trees majestically sweeping their branches high above.
No breeze. No sound.
Just some birds silently singing far off.
Waiting alone. Statuesque standing.
Meditative mind.
Silence. Contemplating. Remembering.
Looking around. The list on the wall of those who have come before,
and those who will come after. Old sounding names. Dead sounding
people.
A coffee machine in the corner. How thoughtful. The stone
work. The arched window and stained glass. The deep blue carpet
and over watered plants. So pretty. Bland wallpaper. Neutral
– un-noticeable.
People arrive. Faces long. Expressions like the weather.
Bewildered stares at unrecognized faces. Smiles and nods with muffles
words. Condolences. Sympathies. Stories shared of days gone
by, when…
Muted words shared in whispers. The silent conversing in tones of days gone
by, not always so distant. The words of shock, surprise, even horror at the
news.
Lots of –“ He was still so young” and “How dreadful” and “
Well at least it didn’t rain.”
Frozen, rehearsed smiles below tearful eyes that show the truth.
Distraught emotions. Must keep it together. Be brave. Don’t
cry.
More people gather in the waiting room. Lots of black coats. Lots of blue
rinses. Lots of perms. Lots of walking sticks. The wisp of Old Spice and
Brill cream:- Lavender cologne and mothballs.
Long, black, sleek and expensive, they glide to a halt effortlessly.
Such style
Embarking. Words spoken that say nothing. Usual stuff. Always
voiced at these times. Saying much while saying nothing. What is one to
say ? Embarrassed. Furtive glances at the family. Best say
nothing, smile wanly.
Many questions. Less answers.
Greetings and remembrances of past times. Here. Same place. Different
day. Different face. Same black coat. Same sad eyes. Same emotions that rule
the day.
Flowers. Pretty colours atop a fine wooden veneer. We follow slowly. Like the
animals, two by two. Behind a man with a stick, ever more slowly.
We sit and wait. Looking around at deco lamps hanging, organ playing Ave
Maria in subdues tones. Bit slower than usual. Echoing off the stone.
Absorbed in the blackness of fabric.
Silence descends.
Atmosphere rises.
Kleenex at the ready.
Sniffles heard.
Words are spoken, eulogy given.
In nine minutes a life is lived.
Two poems voiced.
Lords prayer read by all.
Hymns are sung and the wooden veneer and flowers descend before us, it’s motor
filling the silence.
Hiding crying.
We stand in silence. Filing out slowly to the garden led.
Flowers displayed. Each the same, really.
Seen many times before.
Nothing original. Nothing new.
It’s always the same. It seems.
Heavy atmosphere breaks with fresh remembrances.
Old friends recognized through the crowd, some laughter, some tears, some joy,
much sorrow.
Smiles and bit lips.
Red noses.
Red eyes.
Read minds of sorrow held back.
Everyone knows.
Few say.
Hand shaking.
Back slapping.
Women kissing the air beside another face.
Some land, some don’t.
Keeping a tight rein on emotions.
Don’t get too close, it may show.
We slowly part.
Some to share the continuing drama of sorrow.
Some to fetch children from school.
Life goes on.
Life is for the living.
Say your goodbyes and move on.
Funeral over.
See you at the next one.
Wonder who it’ll be.
We part.
At least it didn’t rain.
© John Bellamy- 2002
|
By
John Bellamy
©
April
1999
You’re mission, should you choose to accept it, is to survive with
absolutely no knowledge of where you have come from and with absolutely no
conscious ‘back-up’ from headquarters.
You will be able to choose operatives to help in this work. You will have a
brief glimpse of their history file before commencement, and you will be
able to structure plans together before going on the mission; but once
there – you will have no knowledge of whom these operatives are;- and many
will give you false information which could jeopardize your assignment.
It is for you alone to ascertain who your operatives are, and whether their
information and input is worthy.
You alone will be making the choices that will endeavour to make this a
successful mission.
Situations will arise throughout to throw you off course;- to delay and
possibly inhibit you in accomplishing your objectives effectively.
There are many who will be in opposition – many who will attempt to cause
emotional and physical distress, and these negative contributions and how you
react within these, are all part of the assignment.
Your mission will also bring much joy, compassion and love, and through these
positive feelings you will discover the road ahead will be easier.
Value these inputs as you will find these emotional supports to be valuable
tools throughout the mission.
Your assignment is of the utmost importance on a global and universal scale.
It may seem of little significance to you, but be aware that a much
bigger plan is in action and that you are just a part of it. Not a small
part, but the major player.
More rests on your accomplishing this job successfully that you can ever
realize,- and whatever the outcome - whatever the results – always know that
you will have accomplished it to perfection. Regardless.
During times of heartaches and despair, always be in awareness that at
headquarters you are never forgotten;- as you are being guided at every
opportunity. There will be someone with you at all times, and if
you ever need assistance, it will always be offered. It is for you
to recognise the assistance we send as there are no sign posts and no
directions.
As stated, you will always be guided throughout your mission and
many new and sometimes esoteric guides will help you. Some just for a
moment, while others for a lot longer.
You may choose the best tools available to assist with your mission, and
most of all we ask only two things of you. That you give it your best
shot, and that you listen to the voice within, as that is
headquarters,- that is your ‘Inner Guide’. Listen. For that voice
will never let you down. Ever.
Your own ego mind will often distort and oppose your ‘Inner Voice’ and it is
up to you to be selective. Discernment is an important lesson you will need to
learn.
You will always have knowledge that one day this mission will end, and how you
react around that knowledge will formulate how you cope with the job.
Living in fear of what you perceive to be ‘The End’ achieves nothing,
although you will not know that.
For there is nothing worse that a mission bogged down in fear.
There are many things to learn;- many things to accomplish;- many things
to assist and many to hinder.
Throughout the mission you will be creating
‘Who You Are.’
Nothing is expected of you.
The mission;- should you care to accept it,- IS LIFE.
Only you can do this.
Only you can grow.
Only you can achieve the wonders that are available for you to experience,
and only you can grasp life
and LIVE IT FULLY.
Good luck with your mission.
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If you are going to quote the Bible to damn another, at least get your facts right before you open your gob.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:20 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific
laws and how to follow them.
1.) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice,
I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord
(Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours.
They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2.) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery,
as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3.) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:l9-24).
The problem is, how I tell?
I have tried asking, but most women take offence
4.) Lev.25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves,
both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans,
but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5.) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6.) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination
(Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7.) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
wiggle room here?
8.) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples,
even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.
How should they die?
9.) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves.
10.) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.
Is it really necessary that we
go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
(Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair
like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively,
so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is
eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan
As you can probably surmise,
the Adoring Fan was anything BUT an adoring fan, and the woman who wrote
the letter was actually the Mother of a gay man who loved and supported
her son with all her heart and soul, as God intended all parents to do,
however different their children may have turned out to what society and
the church considers to be 'normal' - whatever that is.
Leviticus states some very interesting things. ie:
You must not eat Crab, Lobster, Rabbit and
Pork, or have sex with just about any relative you can think of. You
cannot interbreed different livestock or wear a garment made from mixed
fabrics, touch dead pig skin or grow different crops in the same field.
And yet almost all of these are ignored by people while still adhering to the
ones that suit them to cling onto. I was not personally aware that the
Bible; if it was to be the foundation of your religion;- was a
pick'n'mix where you could believe the bits that
suited you and ignore the bits that didn't.
Leviticus was a health
book written not by God but by the Rabbis
who saw the tribes walking around the deserts and dying out from food
poisoning ( sewage in the water - crab & lobsters, Tape Worm
in pigs etc. ) having sex with a relative meant idiot children from too
much interbreeding, while gay men simply dont have children,
and so forth. These guidelines were put in place as a way of making the
bloodlines of the Jewish tribes strong and so they would survive and not die
out. It was not the word of
God any more than The Sun newspaper offers good journalism.
The 'Born Agains' etc. then
state that God gave Leviticus - partly to the nation and partly to the tribes
:- in other words not all of it applies to them. BUT: That is saying they can
pick and choose which bits to follow and which bits not to adhere to;- as
NOWHERE in the Bible does God state that - 'This
bit is for you and this bit is not...'
the Born Agains make that distinction and that kind of hypocracy is what
causes many to be damned..
So the next
time you quote the Bible at someone, please make sure of your
facts beforehand and do not be selective with the truth, especially if your
own views limit another for simply living life their own
way: - which despite being different to yours,- does not make it wrong,
regardless of how you may choose to decipher Biblical writings accordingly.
As that my friends, is unGodly
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FINGERS CROSSED
Crossing your fingers
to bring yourself good luck - or when you tell a lie so that it 'doesn't matter'
- is one of the most recognised gestures in the UK - and according to some
experts, is almost unheard of in other countries. It supposedly dates back
to the early Christians, when they were persecuted for their belief
structure before Constantine turned Rome, Christian. Followers
adopted a secret sign - a bit like the Masonic secret hand shake - and obviously
symbolising the cross. It also stands for a protective gesture against
witches whose power was thought to be diminished by the sign. ( bloody religion,
it has a lot to answer for...)
CANDLES ON A CAKE
Blowing candles out on
a Birthday cake is thought to have originated in Germany ( haven't SO MANY of
our customs... Christmas for one...that's what comes from having a German royal
family ) and is believed to have been imported to the UK in the 19th
century. It was tradition to have a single candle ( obviously they were
poor and couldn't afford to waste the candles - or maybe the local lesbians were
using them for something else... oh how tacky... ) It was considered
unlucky is someone else blew out your birthday candle as it was the 'light of
life' and was yours, and yours alone. It became popular in the UK
before the first world war and a candle for each year of your life and making a
secret wish when you blew it out were added, but have no history or
tradition. Like a lot of things, word of mouth can make something appear
traditional when the reverse is the truth, and something just 'catches on
' and becomes popular... look at the rubic cube.
LUCKY HORSE SHOE
Nailing a metal horse
shoe to the door was originally to ward off witches and to be a barrier against
them. This was the case for over 600 years. You always pointed the
ends of the shoe skywards - otherwise if placed upside down, this was a symbol
that the good luck and energy would run out and be lost. it was generally
agreed ( by whom ??? ) that witches and fairies ( ? ) disliked iron. ( not
me deary...) It was said that you had to find a horseshoe for it to be lucky for
you. In other cultures it is considered lucky because its shape
represents the crescent moon which was worshipped ( Muslims )
UNLUCKY 13
Many people believe
this is unlucky because it was the number at the last supper, or that this
number was attached to witches who always organised their covens in 13,
and it is commonly believed that Judas was the one at the last supper who
betrayed Jesus and therefore must have been the unlucky 13th person. But:
it is more likely that the fearful church, realizing that Mary Magdalene was
also at the last supper as Jesus' foremost disciple - and the church in their
fear - their paranoid fear, of women and editing anything from the biblical
writings it did not like, damned the woman and her writings and claimed that the
13th was Mary and that this was the bad luck that caused Judas and the rest of
the story to unfold. (So those tricky women gat the blame again huh ??? )
FRIDAY 13th ( not the
movie )
On Friday 13th October
1307 the Pope and the King of France set about arresting, torturing and mass
murdering the Knights Templar's ( the 3 musketeers in the movies would
have been Knights Templar's - one for all and all for one.... sounds sexy
to me...) searching for the Grail Treasure and the many Grail secrets. However,
they found nothing although hundreds - maybe thousands - of Knights were
horribly tortured to death and the church got nothing. The treasure
though, was not gold - it was the Grail family, the descendents of Jesus -
his family down through the ages who held secret wisdoms the church feared the
population knowing, and so set about murdering anyone who held the secret
truths. The King of France also owed the Knights a fortune and saw this as
an easy way to get shot of the debt... ( maybe we can torture to death the tax
man or your X lover ... ) and some Knights escaped death by fleeing France
and the order survives to this day... hidden and secret like a lot of ancient
sects fearful for their lives.
WALKING UNDER A LADDER
This has several
options to choose from. It is thought to be unlucky to walk beneath a
ladder at the gallows of a condemned man at the gallows, although the
hangman's noose was a later invention and when hung, many survived for hours
slowly choking to death and relatives would help you die quicker by hanging off
your feet to add weight to your body and so speed your death. ( especially
welcome when it was your Mother-in-law on the gallows...) It was also possible
to be 'soiled' if standing under a ladder of someone dying, as they may
empty their bladder or bowels onto you. ( some would enjoy and even pay
for that... sick bastards...) It was also thought that
the Devil lurked beneath the ladder used to take Jesus off the cross. (
boo hiss ) Spitting between the rungs or not speaking until
you see a four legged animal after walking under a ladder are suppose to negate
the bad luck. ( so if you're under the ladder and someone is
spitting between the rungs to stop his bad luck, it hardly sounds like good luck
to be spat on... )
SPILLING SALT
It is said that - again
( this bloody last supper has a lot to answer for...) that at the last supper,
Judas ( oh him again ) Iscariot spilled the salt ( he was having a bad day
- obviously he had things on his mind...) and this brought bad luck, so by
tossing it away helped. It was also thought that the Devil sat on your
left shoulder ( especially if you had Joan Collins shoulder pads )
and by throwing a pinch of the salt over your left shoulder you blinded the
Devil. We need to remember that for centuries, salt was a MAJOR commodity and
worth an absolute fortune.
TOUCHING WOOD
Again, this custom
seems to have come from Germany and maybe even America, and again seems to have
its roots in Christianity, ( here we go again... ) where it was customary
to knock underneath a piece of wood for luck. The origins of this may stem
back to the cross that Jesus was crucified on or even the pagan belief ( which
is far older than the stories of Jesus ) that the trees were inhabited by
spirits and when countries like England were covered in huge dark forests,
and your culture was one of being one with Mother Nature, you followed
ancient beliefs to do with the earth, the seasons such as Solstices, and
that the mighty trees were alive and watching.
(UN)LUCKY BLACK CAT
Originally seen as a
bad luck omen because witches always had a black cat ( oh really, what, never a
ginger one... or a tabby... ) as witches could change their shape and
become the cat. ( bit cramped ) In the 1800's it seems the fear of
black cats was mysteriously reversed and it became a good luck omen although the
reasons why have been lost in time. Maybe it's because no bad luck came to
anyone with a black cat - ( or maybe the witches went to Ikea and needed a
different colour scheme...after all, black is the new white...)
BREAKING A MIRROR
In the past glass was
expensive, so breaking a mirror was seen as a sign of misfortune. It was thought
that as a mirror reflected the face of its owner ( any anyone actually ) then it
also held the owners personality and if broken, then bad luck was sure to
follow. The concept that seven years bad luck would follow a breakage has its
meanings lost in the annals of time, and some believe that if you stamp on
the broken pieces seven times, it breaks the bad luck. ( and makes more mess to
clean up...)
THROWING THE WEDDING
BOUQUET
Throwing the bouquet to
share the bride's good fortune is relatively new, only since the 1950 and comes
from America (?) before this time, the flowers would have been given away
and the bride would throw a stocking as she undressed for the wedding
night (yuck) and this was considered good luck. The tradition of
throwing rice and confetti, which was originally not paper but natural seeds
etc. stood for fertility. The wedding night was historically the
first night the man and women had spent together ( poor thing, just imagine
getting married and on your wedding night you discover he has a tiny
pecker or that she is crap in bed... aaahhh... rewind the last 24 hours... )
and as she would have been a virgin ( thank you Madonna ) this was the
night she would have been meant to become pregnant.
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