I am honest on web site when looking for sex - and state my real age.
It would seem however, that many lie.
They take off anything from 5 - 20 years .
This would not be so bad if a man of 65 looked 55 and then claimed to be 55, but when he is clearly 65 and may even look older, it insults. It insults my intelligence.
( In the blink of an eye the young hot one will be the older man - as we all know how quickly the decades will pass. )
I am also not afraid to mention this and let him know I am not to be fooled / lied to.
However saying this - a lot of people ignore me on these sites because they just read my age and think I am some old fool - or something - and don't even bother to reply.
That's ignorant and rude as well.
A simple 'No Thanks' is polite, short and to the point.
I am not offended by someone saying no.
I am a big grown up mature man, and can handle that.
I actually, don't give a damn.
It's their loss.
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As a teenager, my first lover was 30 years older than myself and we lived together for 8 years.
Older men were more appealing to me.
Some said I had a Father fixation, which was bollocks, I just always fancied a man who knew what he was doing long before I had the faintest clue.
Someone I could learn from.
Shameful thing is - my first lover at 16 ( he was 45 ) didn't have much of a clue either and was one of the most self centred and selfish lovers I have ever known, so not much was learned there and when we parted was when my real learning curve started, and really not for a few more years actually, not until I became a sex worker and threw myself into it completely, and learned ' on the hoof ' as they say - or ' on the job ' ...
And dear God... did I learn a lot of stuff.
Met a young cute guy last week - aged 27 - hot and sexy - clearly assumed that because he was so hot and sexy he didn't actually have to do very much - and much to his horror - he was wrong.
I was not about to worship him and especially after he said ' I thought you'd be all over me like a rash.'
and when I asked why he would assume such a thing, he answered that because I was much older I surely would be grateful - and that as I was not as hot as him - he was the star of the show.
Such arrogance puts me right off in the first place.
Second - I have had sex with THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of men, actually TENS OF THOUSANDS and employed hundreds on an escort agency I ran for 15 years and had some TRULY world class handsome, hung and built guys who - when all is said and done - HAVE IT ALL.
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And this guy has absolutely no idea of who I am or what I have done in the past and arrogantly assumes I should be lucky to have sex with someone like him.
Not the first time Babes, and not the last.
I did give him a little polite talking to about 'being real' and seeing the other person as a person who has had a life before they met him and not to be so presumptious or so arrogant, and through it all I was laughing and making light of it all as I did not mean to hurt him or crash his ego or blow his arrogance out of the water, I just wanted him to see others as people and not people here just to worship him.
He got the point.
Were we older people the same back when we were in our 20's. Were we as arrogant and self centred, I know FOR A FACT that I was not and never have been. Sexual arrogance can be a turn on but it can also be a big fat turn off as well, depending on how arrogant they are and how they truly believe - or not - what they are saying.
Us older gay men have survived. We are still here. There is a massive shortage within the gay male community of men in their 50's upwards as - honestly, almost a generation died back in the '80's and those who are still around are in the minority.
We are the survivors.
So when a younger guy patronises - you have to laugh. I almost want to take the Mother rold and say ' Ah, there there....' but that is as rude in return.
Drugs have caused a lot of problems as so many want chem sex and nothign else is then good enough after that. Sure I have had my fare share of chem sex - decades ago - and had some life changing experiences, but one cannot live a life based on these experiences. You have to take that experience and make it a part of who you are and not want it every time as that is not realistic.
At 65 - after being almosy celibate for 18 years - I have re blossomed and am having some fun. Some older guys and many younger guys, and while some may thing a man of 65 too old, I would say GROW UP and that when they are 65 - how would they feel tollerating such arrogance from younger guys who clearly - so often - haven't a clue.
We may be older, but there is a whole load they can learn from us oldies. A whole load.
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comments e mailed in:
Read your piece about oplder men. I am 72. Came out 15 years ago. Had a brief boyfriend for a while but nothing else. Sex has been great but hard to find a relationship. My age is against me. Those I have met who like older man all seem to have hidden agendas surrounding what I can do for them. Money usually. I have none so they don't hang around long.
Maybe I just missed out coming out so late in life.
John: My sex life improved when I got older. No more chasing after anything and everything. I am fussier about who I have sex with. I will not tollerate selfish or boring sex and will just say so and stop. I am now in control of what I do whereas when younger I followed other peoples lead. This taught me well but also got me into a few scrapes. No more will I allopw that. I am now in control.
That's the good thing of getting older.
I hate being old. No sex. No one looks at me. Few show interest when I go to my local gay bar and I am looked over for the young twinks. I feel invisible. I am a very average man in all ways and do not have anything that stands out for me, and I go home to my lonely flat alone. I don't enjoy this at all.
Your web site excites me and having just found it shall certainly save and come and stay. Your Naked Chill Out weekends look very tempting and within budget. Maybe there is hope for me yet.
Good to hear you are enjoying your maturing years John. Not old. Just getting better and maturing. And not like a fine cheese or bottle of wine, but as a person.
I look back and cringe remembering how crap I must have been at sex when I was younger. Not a clue. As the older man I am mor relaxed about the wholething and do not have such expectations and fears - as I once suffered from, and now jjust enjopy. No hassles. Old age taught me to relax and to stop giving a damn. It is very freeing. Joseph H
I missed out. When I was 65 my old Mother died and I lived with her my whole life. I was in the closet and a virgin until then. Nothing at all. Found Hamilton Hall soon after burying Mother and came for a Massage weekend over a decade ago and was re born. Never experienced anything like it. A hotel full of naked homosexual men and me. I was scared - deeply scared - but so excited - SO EXCITED John, I cannot tell you. It was a revelation, an epiphany - and on returned booked for the Tantra weekend a month lkater. Again, to be with so many naked men, touching intimate parts was mind blowing for me. I met someone at the second weekend that lived near me and we met up after the weekend and have done so regularly since. The last decade or so has been so different. I have enjoyed an innocent kind of sex - all clean and respectful and sometimes something alittle kinky, and I have loved every naughty minute of it. I appreciate I am like a teenager - naive and sometimes foolish, but having such fun.
I would always say, it is never too late to start a new life. I did and I am having the time of my life now in my mid 70's.
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