An old lady moved into Hamilton Hall today ... NO NOT REALLY.

An old lady moved into Hamilton Hall today.

NO – NOT REALLY BUT :-

Because of the costs involved in running a car when I have absolutely no income but huge outgoings – as with any hotel, I have staff to pay even if we are closed ;- as I do not want to lay them off ; – and with no bookings and advance monies coming in – and where like most people, we do not have huge cash reserves;- I am cutting down on outgoings where I can.

I knew you'd be inpressed. It 'aint Gucci or Ralph Lauren, as I am not a snob - . And I know what you are thinking - - - 'Oh what style John has.' - ha ha - - .- NOT.)

I have been turned the heating and hot water to come on just twice a day – morning for 2 hours when we get up and 5 hours in the evenings, and not 24/7 as it was before.

My extra cleaning staff ( which we went through 4 in one year as it seemed no one wanted to work, all kept either breaking and damaging things, stole from us or simply thought work meant 20 minute ciggie break every hour – and I fired the last one 6 months ago, as it seemed impossible to find someone who enjoyed, valued and had pride in doing a job – any job – and gave 25% of what was expected – so now we have been doing the work ourselves, and being as we are now closed, am glad not to have to pay out even more money.

I thought that as I usually drive to Tesco or Aldi – and buy quite a lot of stuff needing a car to get it home, under the current situation, and with enough food stocks to see us through, I do not need to use the car as much and can save on the cost of petrol. ( As every penny counts…)

So I bought myself an old ladies shopping basket on wheels, and shall stroll ( mince ) up when I need something to the local Aldi / Lidl / Sainsbury’s and even small Tesco – as all are within a 10 minute walk and the shopping basket on wheels will be a great help and will save on petrol. We all do what w ehave to do and take pride in doing something I never thought I would - and enjoy it.

Honey, My Weimeraner, is horrified incase I get her attached to the front to help pull it along, and the old lady in the background of the picture dressed in blue - above - won't be any use, she has never pulled anything her whole life;- Oh - Maybe she has been pulling her family behind her for the last 70 years... but not suire she even knows what Aldi is ??? )

Now - I have told David - who works here with me - that the first time I ever use it, he will have to walk up with me ( he's from Essex and horrified ) as I just know I am going to feel such an old fart – and that everyone will be looking at me when I know they will not - and will need someone to giggle with to help save me being embarrassed and mortified at actually using an old ladies shopping basket on wheels. Oh the thought… Once a leading Sex Guru and the top leading sex worker in the UK and now – pushing a shopping trolley through the streets…

I’m sure if some of my clients from my sex worker days could see me now, we would laugh together.

Oh how times have changed – and I do laugh, I do find it all so amusing how life takes its funny dives and turns, which keeps life interesting.

I do appreciate that if I look old and decrepit when shopping, you know, walk bent over and slowly, I shall be invisible to many people anyway – just another old fart to ignore – so shall get away with it.

Of course, I am not use to being invisible… so that will be new.

So I am planning on getting a tiny poodle to sit in the top of it, ( not really ) and shall get a blue rinse wig ( not really ) and some mothballs to give me just the right old lady smell, ( need I say it ??? ) and I shall be off shopping to my heart out.

I joked about this some years ago saying that if petrol ever got to £1.50 a litre, I was going to do just this and stop using the car so much, and now is a perfect opportunity. I ordered the wheelie thing just a few days ago and it came the very next day. There may be a shut down on, but some things are getting through really quickly.

So we all make changes and adapt. This is not the first for me since this pandemic – closing my hotel was a first for me – as in 20 years we have never closed… and now the shopping trolley.

So – what comes next. A new hip maybe ?