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america speaks back

Dear John,

We remain governed by a soulless man with a broken mind. The damage will continue,

and it won’t stop until voters end it.

George Conway scroll down to see what else he says about Trump and his wife actually works for Trump...

I have thought about this blog a lot since I read it two days ago.

There must be countless single gay men like me who live alone and are trying to get through this all by themselves. Let me tell you, it is not easy. Stuck in your home for months with no definite end in sight, your mind can go to some very dark places. When you get low, you have to find your own way out of the pit. If it is bad for me, I am sure it is worse for many others.

We have all had to live, to some extent, under criminalisation most of our lives: it was only in 2001 that the age of consent was finally equalised and that it became legal for more than two men to gather in private for sexual gratification, as I am sure you know. A deep-rooted fear of being judged, shamed and even prosecuted for expressing our emotional and sexual needs haunts many of us, even when we have grown into confident, legally-protected adulthood.

My first thought on reading here of this new crime, which had passed me by when enacted and even now I find very little about online, was that it gives the feeling of lurching back to the old days, an echo of those recent times when the fear of public humiliation and criminalisation of intimacy was so much a part of our lives; to the days when you felt you were risking your life with every casual sexual encounter.

I wonder how this is going to affect the mental health of all the isolated, lonely and fearful gay men, off all ages, to whom maybe a chat on a sex-site and the fantasy that they might actually experience sexual intimacy (or 'fuck their brians out' if you prefer) with another man again, is an emotional life-line - or even 'a chance worth taking'. Obviously no-one wants to get the virus (how familiar that sounds) but no-one wants to become suicidal with loneliness and despair either. Sex has always been an essential palliative against the pain of life, not just for the physical connection but for our deep spiritual needs, as you have often explained so eloquently yourself. This is suddenly denied to us by law and I fear that it could end up being a serious issue for us all, especially those without partners.

It would seem likely that if people are being shamed by fellow site users they might also be prey to less-friendly presences. How do we know that Grindr and other apps will not become infested with law-enforcement entities up to their age-old tricks to lure and entrap vulnerable gay men with easily-prosecuted crimes?

Perhaps the best way to support each other during this horrendous time is to be aware of how fragile we all are, how much in need of love and support and connection, which may express itself through sexual desire, and to resist the temptation to use shaming and emotionally heightened language in addressing this huge problem for all of us.

Thanks for writing the piece, it has given me a chance to examine my thoughts on this.

Much love

David x


Don't hate me!

I am an American.

I was born in Texas in 1959 as a military brat (my dad was a pilot in the US Air Force). The youngest of four children. I subsequently lived in Georgia, Wyoming, and Tennessee before my dad was killed in the Vietnam War in 1968. I was 8yo.

We then moved to South Carolina, where both sets of grandparents lived. I was thus raised in suburbia, a happy uncomplicated middle class upbringing. After college and graduate school, I too entered the US Air Force, just as my dad.

For the next 20 years, I served as a military hospital administrator and national/international medical planner (medical planners are responsible for placement, scope and execution of all medical military assets in wartime and peacetime, plus contingency and emergency operations).

In my 20 year career, I served in Georgia, Germany (twice), Louisiana, Missouri, Texas and Virginia. I was stationed in Germany both before and after The Wall fell, ending communism. I dealt with both domestic and overseas operations. I served for NATO for 5 years, dealing hands-on with the (then) 19 NATO nation, Partnership for Peace nations, Mediterranean Dialogue (middle east) nations, Russian plus other former communist nations.

Officers from former 'enemy nations' (due solely due to their geographic location) became longtime friends. I worked with people of all colours, backgrounds, socio-economic statuses, religions, orientations, etc.

After 20 years, I retired in 2005. Throughout all this, the strongest lesson I learned was that people are people no matter where they are from. We all share common experiences and feelings. We all are by the most part, good people willing to help a fellow man. It's not till you get to 'higher levels' of politics that the distrust, hatred, and corruption emerge.

All this blather leads me to my current purpose in writing. Yes, I am an American. But...I watch with horror the purposeful and racially-motivated murder of Geotrge Floyd.

I condemn it with every fibre of my being. I support the peaceful demonstrations following this murder, yet I condemn the violence, riots, fires, vandalism and such which also resulted from Floyd's murder. I am blessed to be 'settled' economically in these financially-challenging times.

In a world pandemic, I was infected with covids19 and spent 5 weeks fighting the ravaging illness. I too see daily our erratic, divisive, and unstable President. I marvel at the silence of politicians and others who watch our 'leader' (and I use that word advisedly) yet do nothing. It is morally and ethically wrong what this President has done.

I watch with horror as he alienates world leaders, panders to Putin, encourages insurrection and dissent, and makes a mockery of democracy. BUT...Trump does NOT represent America's mindset.

I am proud to be an American (even though I despise many actions of our elected officials). I hope and pray that the elections in November will soundly reject our current leadership, and America can restore/regain some of the grandness and respect it has lost in the last few years. Remember please that we, as you, are a nation of individuals. Individuals of good spirit and morality and humanity. Don't hate me because I am an American. I love my fellow man, and try to live each day by the "Big Ten" (Commandments) and The Golden Rule. God bless each and every one of you. I wish you all health and happiness!



Last weekend we had protestors in Cleveland which lead to some very tense times as the peaceful protestors gave way to rioters. On Tuesday, there were daytime peaceful protestors on my street -- about 200 yards from my front door -- surrounded by police.

I have lived through some dark times in America. I think what is most troubling for me is that we don't have a roadmap to fix where we are. No one is defining what "success" looks like -- besides "stop killing people."

I don't have an answer, either. I wish I did.

I am glad that we have the diverse sea of faces on our Zoom chats. I love seeing the wide range of ages, colors, sizes, and locations. I love that we have a space to gather and appreciate each other for who we are.

I am going to do what I have always done: advocate that you talk and get to know someone different than yourself. I educate my co-workers about gay people just by being myself. I learn about people from different cultures by asking respectfully if I can ask questions. I am convinced that quiet and kindness can be effective healing tools -- and maybe tools we need now more than ever.

Take Care, Stay Bare,


Hi John.

As an American I apologise on behalf of our disgusting excuse of a President. I am so ashamed as to where my country has been headed since Bush took us into wars over oil and the one gleaming light, Obama, was short lived and now worse than ever, we have Trump.

America is turning fastly into a two class system, those with and those without. Those who the police support and those the police murder ( Black & ethnic minorities )

White supremists and everyone else.

The NRA ( National Rifle Association ) who support the rights to 'open carry' a gun in any situation, and those who feel this brings about violence and does not stop it.

Corporate governance against small business

Catholic against Muslim Never in my memory has the USA been so divided about so many things and all it seems pushing the agenda for Donald Trump. Now in the middle of a world wide pandemic our asshole president ( small p ) takes us out of the World Health Organization and cowers below ground in his White House Bunker when rioters come close. It truly is jaw dropping time. Travelling abroad for an American is hard these days as everywhere you go, you get TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP all the time and I go around apologising and telling everyone how ashamed we are and how we so want this madman, this dangerous murdering thug, out of the White House.

I know it was the same in the UK with BREXIT and the way it divided the country and family against family and never have I known anything so divide a nation as Brexit did for you guys and Bush and now Trump has done for the USA. My Ma was from London and was a GI Bride during the war, coming to live here with my Pa in the early 1950's when I was born. My Ma died a few years ago but always instilled that British something - that Limey Spark - that wonderful sense of humour that Americans lack and that wonderful 'stiff upper lip' that was always so stoic during times of hardship. I read that you think the USA is being flushed down the toilet and I have to say that the good and the decent are still here, still fighting for good decent things and as a real God Fearing Country, we just want peace, for everyone to enjoy the same rights be they LGBT - Womens reproductive rights - Black / Asian - and regardless of color, race, religion etc. the USA was always seen as a safe haven for persecuted people from around the world and now those persecuted people are being persectuted within the one place that always claimed through our Constitution to offer us all a safe place. Now the tables are turning and that safe place has become a hell hole for many and we do not feel safe here any longer. Murdering cops are completely out of control. Thank God my Ma was Irish and not black;- only said because if black you stand a much higher chance of being murdered by a cop who will completely get away with it.


So I apologise on behalf of the decent people of America who cry and despair at how things are going and if this continues, this once great nation will be the one that globally is hated and it will be our own fault. We vote these morons into power - we get what we expect. Pete ( New England )


Hi John: Never written you before but my Limey friends showed me your site for Community Living and I followed your links to your Blog and read a great deal with interest. Good to get an outsiders point of view of what our President is doing and how it is seen abroad. Think if Trump gets in again a lot of us good old Americans brought up on good family values, to respect the rule of law, to appreciate how we live in a Land of the Free and where the laws are in place to protect all minority groups - as stated in our Constitution - yet this country is being dragged into the gutter by a spineless, lying, coniving, back stabbing, petulant ego maniac and white supremist homophobe women hater and abuser.

I can only apologise to others that this - our One Great Nation Under God, has this appalling man at its head shaming us around the world. I am a flight attendant - have been for 2 decades. Now in lockdown and possibly with no job to return to when this pandemic is through and the last few years have not been easy for Americans abroad. Everyone has something to say and it is never good. I defended as best I could but soon realised I was outnumbered and to put it simply, the world hates us. Bush and Trump have done a number. Obama tried his best but was thearted at every turn. Every good thing he did has been reversed by Trump and we are on a downwards spiral and because of recent events with the brutality of the police - nothing new here - the people are beginning to shout back. Black Lives Matter. What does Trump do, threaten to bring in the troops against the American people. This man thinks he is a Dictator - a Putin ( Russia ) or a Xi Jinping ( China ) or even Kim Jong-un ( North Korea ) when he forgets he is elected by us, the people, and I do so hope that come November, and it will be a fight whatever happens as I cannot see Trump giving up the White House and all that power even if he looses which pray to God above, people come out and vote against this madman and the USA can regain some control over its internal and extermnal madness.

My UK friends talk about Brexit ruining the UK. Sadly that is nothing. Trump is trying to ruin the whole world. I know everything in America is bigger and maybe our problems are as well. Maybe the good Lord will look down and reaslie that The Anti Christ is here and in politics. Forgive us - we are fucking idiots. Joseph ( Atlanta )


George Conway calls out his wife’s boss

in scathing op-ed

Bob Brigham


'We remain governed by a soulless man with a broken mind.'

Trump and Kellyanne Conway and can someone tell me WTF she is dressed as SuperMan for

if we are to take her seriously, she needs to dress as a politician and not a ficticious super hero

when she is anything but a super hero.

George Conway, the prominent Republican attorney married to White House counselor Kellyanne Conway, blasted his wife’s boss in a new Washington Post op-ed published online on Friday evening.

“Until three brief months ago, President Trump never faced a serious crisis, at least one not of his own making. But now he has faced two, and is failing two, in short order: the covid-19 pandemic, with its concomitant economic devastation; and now social unrest, and rioting, stemming from the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis police custody,”

Conway wrote. “Lacking in humanity, Trump has had no idea how to handle either one.”

“So much of Trump’s inaptness and ineptness in these and other matters stems from his exceptional narcissism, and the empathic deficit that attends it,” Conway explained. “But it’s more than just narcissism that drives this failing, flailing president. However difficult they can be, even extreme narcissists can have consciences. They don’t necessarily cast aside behavioral standards or laws, or lie ceaselessly with reckless abandon.”

“Trump’s behavior is conscienceless, showing utter disregard for the safety of others, consistent irresponsibility, callousness, cynicism and disrespect of other human beings. Contempt for truth and honesty, and for norms, rules and laws. A complete inability to feel remorse, or guilt. As a New Yorker profile of Trump put it nearly a quarter-century ago, Trump lives ‘an existence unmolested by the rumbling of a soul.’ That’s Donald Trump’s problem yesterday, today and tomorrow,” he wrote.

“It’s our problem, too, for now: We remain governed by a soulless man with a broken mind. The damage will continue, and it won’t stop until voters end it. Come November, it will be up to the eligible human population of this country to look to their souls, their consciences, their humanity — and to cast their votes for one of their own,” he concluded.

We are witnessing the birth of a movement

and the downfall of a president





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