america speaks back
Dear John,
We remain governed by a soulless man with a broken mind. The damage will continue,
and it won’t stop until voters end it.
George Conway scroll down to see what else he says about Trump and his wife actually works for Trump...
I have thought about this blog a lot since I read it two days ago.
There must be countless single gay men like me who live alone and are trying to get through this all by themselves. Let me tell you, it is not easy. Stuck in your home for months with no definite end in sight, your mind can go to some very dark places. When you get low, you have to find your own way out of the pit. If it is bad for me, I am sure it is worse for many others.
We have all had to live, to some extent, under criminalisation most of our lives: it was only in 2001 that the age of consent was finally equalised and that it became legal for more than two men to gather in private for sexual gratification, as I am sure you know. A deep-rooted fear of being judged, shamed and even prosecuted for expressing our emotional and sexual needs haunts many of us, even when we have grown into confident, legally-protected adulthood.
My first thought on reading here of this new crime, which had passed me by when enacted and even now I find very little about online, was that it gives the feeling of lurching back to the old days, an echo of those recent times when the fear of public humiliation and criminalisation of intimacy was so much a part of our lives; to the days when you felt you were risking your life with every casual sexual encounter.
I wonder how this is going to affect the mental health of all the isolated, lonely and fearful gay men, off all ages, to whom maybe a chat on a sex-site and the fantasy that they might actually experience sexual intimacy (or 'fuck their brians out' if you prefer) with another man again, is an emotional life-line - or even 'a chance worth taking'. Obviously no-one wants to get the virus (how familiar that sounds) but no-one wants to become suicidal with loneliness and despair either. Sex has always been an essential palliative against the pain of life, not just for the physical connection but for our deep spiritual needs, as you have often explained so eloquently yourself. This is suddenly denied to us by law and I fear that it could end up being a serious issue for us all, especially those without partners.
It would seem likely that if people are being shamed by fellow site users they might also be prey to less-friendly presences. How do we know that Grindr and other apps will not become infested with law-enforcement entities up to their age-old tricks to lure and entrap vulnerable gay men with easily-prosecuted crimes?
Perhaps the best way to support each other during this horrendous time is to be aware of how fragile we all are, how much in need of love and support and connection, which may express itself through sexual desire, and to resist the temptation to use shaming and emotionally heightened language in addressing this huge problem for all of us.
Thanks for writing the piece, it has given me a chance to examine my thoughts on this.
Much love
David x
Don't hate me!
I am an American.
I was born in Texas in 1959 as a military brat (my dad was a pilot in the US Air Force). The youngest of four children. I subsequently lived in Georgia, Wyoming, and Tennessee before my dad was killed in the Vietnam War in 1968. I was 8yo.
We then moved to South Carolina, where both sets of grandparents lived. I was thus raised in suburbia, a happy uncomplicated middle class upbringing. After college and graduate school, I too entered the US Air Force, just as my dad.
For the next 20 years, I served as a military hospital administrator and national/international medical planner (medical planners are responsible for placement, scope and execution of all medical military assets in wartime and peacetime, plus contingency and emergency operations).
In my 20 year career, I served in Georgia, Germany (twice), Louisiana, Missouri, Texas and Virginia. I was stationed in Germany both before and after The Wall fell, ending communism. I dealt with both domestic and overseas operations. I served for NATO for 5 years, dealing hands-on with the (then) 19 NATO nation, Partnership for Peace nations, Mediterranean Dialogue (middle east) nations, Russian plus other former communist nations.
Officers from former 'enemy nations' (due solely due to their geographic location) became longtime friends. I worked with people of all colours, backgrounds, socio-economic statuses, religions, orientations, etc.
After 20 years, I retired in 2005. Throughout all this, the strongest lesson I learned was that people are people no matter where they are from. We all share common experiences and feelings. We all are by the most part, good people willing to help a fellow man. It's not till you get to 'higher levels' of politics that the distrust, hatred, and corruption emerge.
All this blather leads me to my current purpose in writing. Yes, I am an American. But...I watch with horror the purposeful and racially-motivated murder of Geotrge Floyd.
I condemn it with every fibre of my being. I support the peaceful demonstrations following this murder, yet I condemn the violence, riots, fires, vandalism and such which also resulted from Floyd's murder. I am blessed to be 'settled' economically in these financially-challenging times.
In a world pandemic, I was infected with covids19 and spent 5 weeks fighting the ravaging illness. I too see daily our erratic, divisive, and unstable President. I marvel at the silence of politicians and others who watch our 'leader' (and I use that word advisedly) yet do nothing. It is morally and ethically wrong what this President has done.
I watch with horror as he alienates world leaders, panders to Putin, encourages insurrection and dissent, and makes a mockery of democracy. BUT...Trump does NOT represent America's mindset.
I am proud to be an American (even though I despise many actions of our elected officials). I hope and pray that the elections in November will soundly reject our current leadership, and America can restore/regain some of the grandness and respect it has lost in the last few years. Remember please that we, as you, are a nation of individuals. Individuals of good spirit and morality and humanity. Don't hate me because I am an American. I love my fellow man, and try to live each day by the "Big Ten" (Commandments) and The Golden Rule. God bless each and every one of you. I wish you all health and happiness!
Gary
Last weekend we had protestors in Cleveland which lead to some very tense times as the peaceful protestors gave way to rioters. On Tuesday, there were daytime peaceful protestors on my street -- about 200 yards from my front door -- surrounded by police.