living with a drunk

Living with a drunk is no fun. Anyone who does, knows how you walk on egg shells around them all the time in case they flair up.

The mood swings are out of control and you fear saying anything - as you are constantly on guard about what is going to ' go down' next.

Taking advantage. BOY do they take advantage.

Zero appreciation. Nothing you do is right.

Me Me Me attitude all the time and not a moments thought for you and what you are going through.

It doesn't even enter their thoughts.

Yet they do not see it.

They WILL NOT see it - because they do not want to. It is easier to open another bottle and swig away.

Running away into a bottle is a cowards way of living. It is not coping with lifes problems, it is causing and creating them.

The cycle goes around and around and just gets worse.

They fear looking at the cause.

They fear facing it.

They make jokes to hide the seriousness of it.

They can be great fun with some people - or first class assholes with others - and sadly - it is usually those closest - those who show the most care - the most worry - the most concern, who receive the most disgraceful attitude.

Nothing you do is right.

You get bitched for anything and everything.

Yet without you - THEY ARE LOST.

Oh they will NEVER - EVER - admit it - and will deny adamantly, and when you leave, when deserted and ' abandoned' they have free reign to do and drink as much and as often as they like and generally - ' fuck you.'- and the only one here who is really in danger - really fucked up and really alone and ALL alone as more pull away and 'abandon' - is the drunk.

So they have another drink to stop the pain of the thoughts running around in their head.

It will ALL be your fault and never theirs.

They live in denial.

They REFUSE to believe anyone who tells them they are a drunk - a lush - a boozer - an alcoholic - and they loose many friends in the meantime - except - other heavy drinkers. They seem to have a radar for others who just prop each other up with pathetic excuses.

It kills and destroys.

Friendship.

Emotional relationships.

Jobs.

Business'.

Other people who care - and try and help - are eventually abused one too many times and walk away.

They have to.

They do so to protect themselves.

The drunk may be on a downward spiral of booze leading to a sad and pathetic end - but many of us do not wish to be dragged down as well - thank you very much.

And when we walk away - this is often seen as abandonment even though they caused and created it.

Then they have another drink to get over you walking away.

You go because their drunkeness is now affecting your life, your job, your relations - and walking sometimes is the only way for you to survive. Otherwise what is the option:- You being pulled down with them. You loosing your job, your home, your friends and family as the more the drunk misbehaves, the more people will pull away and if you choose to stay - and maybe make excuses for them - then you are a feeder. A supplier. A person who is helping this drunk feed his/her habit. You are as much to blame, if not more, than the drunk themselves.

They have an illness.

You are now supplying - rather than helping.