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unsatisfactory sex life & abuse messes with your head.

We all know why some men are so fucked up.

Lack of a sex life.


Resentment and envy, jealousy and hatred is them aimed at those who are perceived to be enjoying a healthy sex life by those who are not.

From boys to old age men, sex plays an important part in the make up of many men - while seemingly being less important for women.

However - if a women is a Mother - then she is knackered each day raising a baby with breast feeding every hour ( a girlfriend locally is giving between 18 and 21 feeds a day - every day - since her baby was born a month ago ) and expecting her to be horny and up for it - like us men often are - is plainly dumb stupid - SHE IS KNACKERED, HER NIPPLES ARE SORE - HER BREASTS SWOLLEN WITH MILK and she is still healing ' down there' from pushing a bowling ball through her vagina. If we men had to carry a baby growing within us - and if we men had to put up with morning sickness every day, and if we men had to sqeeze that monster out of such a small hole, and if we men then had to stay home and be ' on call' for hourly feeds and if we men had to do this as women do - the population would drop dramatically and you would never hear the end of the moaning...


'Oh what a day I've had today - you just don't understand.'


Men can be such wimps when it comes to being unwell and while it is true that women can and do withstand so much more physical and emotional pain and angst than men ever do, men belittle women over this and assume we are the strong ones, when we really are not.


Men are the babies.

Men are the children.

Men never stop daydreaming of fantasy things

Women daydream of realistic things for the family.

Emotional abuse is not restricted to men abusing women, but often women abusing men.

There is so much anger about currently because of the lockdown and where millions have not managed to have a sex life at all, and this causes much emotional and physical distress for many men who are such babies as they are unable to control their passion and just ' let it be ' and because some men cannot control themselves, sexual abuse, rape and all sorts of dysfunctional things can and do occur. If sex was more freely available then maybe, those angry men, wouldn't be so angry.


Frustration causes the mind to go hay wire. My dog. She's a 12 year old Weimeraner. She is obsessed - absolutely obsessed - with finding food.

The world could end while she is ' on the hunt' whether out or in the house as she hunts for the bisciits and bones hidden by the other dog, and you can shout and sream at her and she is completely oblivious. Her sole consciousness is concentrating on food, and is you slap her to get her attention, the look on her face - as she clearly has not heard a word you have said / shouted / sometimes SCREAMED at her - as she is in ' the zone' - where anything and everything is null and void - it's all about food.


Some men are like that - blind, deaf and dumb to anything that is going on around them and they just want sex... and I find it all so boring.


Emtional and physically, men are cripples. We are disabled. We are morons unable to be run by our head and not our dick. Hours looking 'on line' for a shag and then often end up with nothing. Hours wasted in bars and sex clubs to end up unsatisfied and frustrated. A life ruined because some cannot see beyond - cannot see what else is out there and cannot see that while sex is great, it really is not the beginning and the end of the world and is just a part of something much bigger.


There is also too much negative attitude surrounding sex. Too much BS about how it is wrong, dirty, kinky, evil, and only whores enjoy it...


Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.


As a sex worker for 15 years full time and where I have enjoyed the company of tens of thousands of men sexually, I never got bored with it - never got tired of it - and it was only when I retired and came to Hamilton Hall and then had almost no sex life at all for the next 18 years, I realised how easy it was to go without - as long as you get your head in gear around that decision.


Women who play games with sex with their partners, do so at their own risk.

Allowing sex only if and when she gets a new dress or the kids get new shoes for school or only after he has been extra nice to her, is an appalling abuse and one where the man is blamed when he explodes one day but where the women is also to blame - as she is a part of this relationship, and she is a part of this relationships sexuality, and if she wants and demands he remain faithful or she will take the house and kids, the car and everything - then she has to be aware of HER input into the relationship and if she turns away and refuses sex, then she has changed the contract - and she is responsible.


Period.


Just like on Judge Judy, it is all about contract.


Men need to learn control, but women need also to learn about sex and stop metering it out as a reward for good behaviour.


IT'S PATRONISING AND BELITTLING.


Over the years the only time we have had any problem with guests at Hamilton hall was when they assumed they would be getting loads of sex here and when they do not, they complain to me as if it is all my fault. I will often speak gently to them about how there just isn't the right person staying at the moment and that is no ones fault, it is life - it is how the universe is - and to ' get over it.'


But some cannot and some turn nasty and complain - they actually complain that no one wanted sex with them... and after trying to be nice - after trying to paccify - after trying to reason with them and after trying to be gentle, if they still are complaining, I will change tactic and read the fucking riot act at them about not exactly putting their best foot forward, how they may need to diet, wash a little more often, shave, pluck and trim, and NOT be so expectant . Why is it the ones who complain are always the last person on earth many of us would want to have sex with anyway, so who is responsible here.


The man who makes no effort at all to look attractive and sexy - or the man who turns away and says 'No thanks mate - not my type.'


Sex is a very personal thing and to each - how own. These days if you go ' on line' you will find a group - an app - especially geared at what you are looking for - be it leather, twinks - Muscle Mary's - Black. Oriental - Bare Back - Fisting - and you do not need explain yourself as all these groups specialize and that makes life so much easier than picking up a random shag in a bar.


40 years ago it was not so easy.

We did have bars and clubs, and if you go back further - other than the occasional Gentlemens Bar - there was nothing - so be thankful for what we have today.

Mind you, some are just too mean to pay for these sites and then have an empty profile and wonder why they do not score when it would help to at least put a picture on line.


Sex keeps a man happy. Mind, body and soul.

Woman - are often raised to use sex as a weapon of control.


When I recently met a huge hunk of a man, covered in tattoes, a really big butch man, who was bisexual and came to Hammy Hall as he was the victim of Domestic Violence - from his wife - and he felt he just had to escape so came here. He left his home, job and everything and he was ashamed.

I pointed out that I had been the victim of domestic abuse and that there was nothing to be ashamed of - nothing to hide - and he relaxed a little and opened up.