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people who don't give a damn about others

When two guests arrived recently and had not a single mask between them - and considering it states on our front door that entry is ONLY with a mask on - ( initially );- .

And when it is made clear to me that these two guys do not give a damn about Covid 19 or anyone else around them;- And when they give me an incredible negative attitude about wearing a mask and mess about with hankies on their faces during check in;- And when they assume they can just do what they want regardless of protocol's in place to protect us all and what is legally binding for us as a business, then we are not going to get off to a very good start.

I told them I would sell them a pack with mask etc. which I bought in case anyone forgot theirs, as it is not up to me to supply what is easily available in almost every shop and all over the internet and hardly difficult to buy, and as it should not be up to me to educate them about what is and what is not acceptable behaviour around other people, I could tell we were going to have problems.

I pointed out that had their car broken down, they would be stranded.

No coach - train - cab - would accept them without a mask each. If their vehicle was put on the back of a transporter by the AA or RAC, they would be left behind as they would not be allowed to drive in the truck with the driver;- and they could not rent a car as that would mean going to an office and completing forms etc... and without a mask, that is another no no - and they were totally obnoxious, uncaring and arrogant about the whole thing.

I was dissapointed in them. After what we have all been through over the last 5 months, to offer THAT kind of attitude, was disgraceful.

We survived our HIV pandemic in the 80's because we all took care of what we did and how we did it - and tens of thousands of good and decent people died before we knew the guidelines concerning safe sex and how it was transmitted.

We know that wearing a mask will help against Covid 19 and these two guys claimed it was just political bollocks - ( their words ) - and even if in a small way - wearing a mask does help stop the spread of Covid 19 and stop a 'second wave' .

Dorset has one of the lowest cases in the country and only recently went up slightly because tourists brought it into town. And then these two guys offer a disgraceful - absolutely disgraceful attitude of 'don't care' and ' fuck it'- why should I bother' - and these are the sort of gay men who are a disgrace to the LGBTQ world in general and these are the type of gay men I am ashamed of - truly ashamed of.

Not everyone is a good example. Not everyone is nice.

Not everyone considers others and not everyone has the correct idea of right and wrong.

I am pleased to say - that the vast majority of people do appreciate, do understand and do pay attention and worry and consider others - something these two guys clearly have no idea about. It's all self self self which actually spells SELF LOATHING. They may have their self destruct buttons well and truly pressed but the rest of us do not.

These two guys were everything I despise in gay men - self centred, arrogant, uncaring about anyone but themselves and all the while in the middle of a global pandemic, and after they were shown to their room, I left them to it.

I wondered what it might be like the next morning, whether they would come down - as instructed - in the masks I sold them - or not - and it was not until after breakfast when they did not come down ( I thought maybe they were having a lay in ) I get an e mail in bad English stating they had had a disagreement with someone in the hotel called Richard, even though we have no one staying called Richard, and that they had left to go home as they also didn't like my attitude.


Absolutely outstanding.

They didn't like my attitude !

Tough - fucking shit.

That's because I had - very gently - remembering they were booked in for 3 nights and I didn't want to cause bad vibes - and tried to educate them as to what our protocols were and how we were quite insistant on them in order to follow the law and to protect everyone, and that meant them as well. Obviously they didn't like it and left in the middle of the night, just crawled out when no one was looking and ran away. Cowards - absolute cowards.

I e mailed in response telling them that if they had not changed their views on Covid 19 by the morning breakfast and had they come down with no mask, they would have been asked again to follow protocol or to leave - as I am NOT about to let anyone scare my other guests and close us down again. I have - and am - spending a lot of time, money, effort and stress keeping this place extra clean and every surface that is touched by guests is double cleaned 2 or 3 times a day - and is a lot of extra work.

One large dining table which we all shared has become seperate tables and where we serve everything at breakfast instead of self service - and again, this is a huge amount of extra work for us and all the while, offering financial discounts.

There are laws in place and guidelines to follow and we adhere to these and do everything we can to protect us - and you - from these kind of irresponsible people and it is these kind of guys who are truly not welcome here if this is the attitude offered.

I am fully aware that there is a part of the LGBTQ scene who are - in my opinion - fucked up vile people who are a disgrace to the LGBTQ world. They do us no good in the big wide world at all. It happens. It will always happen. There will always be those who are a mess - those who pull against - those who incontrovertibly need therapy and those who demand attention and those who offer a contemptable and detestable attitude and a ' fuck everyone else' attitude, and while I think they may consider themselves the victim - and while I think they may consider everything to be everyone elses fault , and while I think they consider themselves right and everyone else wrong, I am not their therapist and I am not here to 'understand' where they are coming from or how they come from broken homes or are unhappy or anything else. I am not their Mother and I am not here to take their abuse - BUT - what I AM here for - maybe, is to - in some way,- to help bring them into awareness of their shortcomings, their desperately wrong attitude and try and turn them around - and with words and ideas, try as best I can to shed some light on their actions and help them become aware - and if that does not succeed, then they are on their own and see where that gets them. Obviously the last 5 months was just a political ploy - according to them, and fake.

I feel sorry for them as clearly they are not happy campers and will find life very hard with attitudes like theirs and - bless them - their lives will be very lonely.

They are banned from Hamilton Hall and - a word of warning - if you cannot follow a few guidelines and protocols surrounding this pandemic and what we ALL have to do in order to help each other stay safe, then YOU will also be told and YOU will also be unwelcome.

Respect us and our work and we will welcome you with ' long distant' open arms and friendship knowing we are all in this together, we are all suffering in some way and we are all trying to make the best of a situation that none of us have ever experienced before - GLOBALLY - where BILLIONS are suffering far worse than us.

And these guys think it all just a political ploy, which it may well be, who knows, but people are dying, businesses are going under, millions / billions are suffering, and these guys do not give a damn.

Absolutely disgraceful.

John Bellamy


John: I read your piece about the two vile guys and the no mask thing. I do feel for you and your staff having to put up with these awful people. After all you do for others to have to tollerate that. Disgraceful. Martin.


When we live within a society we must accept that we have a certain responsibility not only for our own wellbeing but also that of others. If there is one thing this pandemic has revealed to me it is how increasingly sociopathic a large percentage of the population are becoming. Which is odd considering that they choose to live within society.

I guarantee that the two guys mentioned in this post will have been vaccinated in childhood as part of a non-compulsory requirement of UK society. If they drove to the venue, they will have worn seatbelts, which is a legal requirement of UK society. They will have driven on the left-hand side of the road, which is a legal requirement of UK society. They will have had road tax and car insurance, which are also legal requirements of UK society. And yet...when asked to wear a mask, in respect of the current public health situation, government guidelines, the venue's policies, and the wellbeing of immediate others, they suddenly become outraged as though there is a conspiracy to undermine their human rights. Hypocrisy perplexes me!



Oh dear John that is awful to hear that people are so stupid and rude and selfish. I really feel for you and your staff and all that come to your beautiful calm relaxing hotel.

please take care try to put it behind you.

best wishes Susan


Oh dear John....glad you can vent.

Venting helps regulate our own emotions.

I felt angry and frustrated reading your account.

Behavior change is one of the hardest things to enact. It is quite right to call their behavior out!

I like how you draw strength and lessons learned from the AIDS pandemic.

Moral leadership is important to protect our most vulnerable people.

Stay strong Buddy


Toddy xx


Shocking John. Absolutely shocking. I felt for you when reading about those two guys. After all you do and all you offer. Good for you for sharing the story of it with us all. We love you - and Hamilton Hall, so keep on truckin... Jason


What a pair of arrogant tossers. They could have been responsible for the Hotel having to be closed and every guest and worker that had been around during their stay having to self isolate for 14 days.

You were very polite. I am afraid I have reached the age when I would have given them the full Victor Meldrew !!

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