A GAY EXPERIENCE
I get scores of e mails and the occasional person who bravely pops in, who are straight men - in doubt. In other words they feel as if something is changing within themselves and they often ' fear' they may be gay and need someone to talk to and as many do not know a gay man, their first attempt is through someone like me who is advertising a gay venue.
I have experienced this hundreds of times over the years.
They are married and have children and maybe even grandchildren yet after many happy married years, something shifts within - something alters the view and inner desires and your outlook and - somehow, maybe through sexual frustration so often voiced by married men, - or maybe through a lack of intimacy - not sex - just affection and closeness, and all too often I hear that once the children came along the relationship radically changed on the part of the wife / mother / girlfriend - and it seems to many that he was just wanted to supply the sperm and now the baby(s) are here, there is little need for the man except work hard and pay all the bills.
If you know someone who needs a little help with their ' coming out' or even in accepting they may be gay, and they need someone to talk to for some sensible guidance and some ' in your face truths' about living ' the gay dream' - tell them about Hamilton Hall and we will look after them and assist in any way we can. It can be really frightening ' coming out' as an older person into a community they know very little about and many need a helping hand with some good and sensible advice.
To be honest, I have heard this over the years HUNDREDS of times and that after the children were born, sex was metered out if and when - according to her - he had behaved and bought her the new dress - new school shoes for the kids or some other thing held over the man with the reward of sex - which all too often is then NOT forthcoming at all and women wonder why men are unhappy within the relationship when they are seen as sperm donors and then nothing more than an annoying banker.
I have counselled scores of married men as they chose to come out to their wife as gay and have followed many on their journey of self discovery entering a very different world - the LGBT world, which is faced with bigots, homophobes, blatant fear and discrimination and those who will physically assault and even murder claiming the 'gay panic defense' - which I feel is the most pathetic attempt by grown men scared of a gay men touching them and it beggars belief.
Many do not have experience of gay men or women at all and this is why there is so much misinformation., bigotry and fear - in many peoples hearts, because they only know what The Sun newspaper tells them and we all know how accurate and truthful The Sun newspaper is - but many do follow its every word and will remain misinformed .
So - Here is an opportunity for those who feel they may be gay - might have that inkling - may be treading the wrong path and want to change direction - and this is a fearful time and we are here to help.
THE GAY EXPERIENCE - IT IS NOT WHAT MANY THINK THE GAY EXPERIENCE - CAN DESTROY AS MUCH AS IT CAN FOSTER.
THE GAY EXPERIENCE - IS A LIFESTYLE ACCEPTED BY MILLIONS AND UNNACCEPTED BY MILLIONS.
THE GAY EXPERIENCE - FRIGHTENS MANY - ESPECIALLY THE RADICAL RELIGIOUS.
THE GAY EXPERIENCE - Where men hang around with other men and have hardly any company with women - and does this sound familiar to anyone we know from history ? A man who had his male followers who worshipped and adored him ? And the book written all about this man damns male to male relationships while the main character in this book is clearly 'male friendly' as he hangs around 95% pf the time with men. ( and for the few who haven't got it yet - Jesus and the Bible...)
THE GAY EXPERIENCE - I came out at 15 in 1970;- had a lover aged 16 who was 42 at the time of meeting and we lived and shared a life together for over 8 years until we eventually went our own ways. I have been an out gay men my whole life and most homophobes are married men who are gay and living the lie and in denial and so resent some of us who are out and proud and so damn and attempt to destroy. That. my friends, is how many on the gay scene are. We do not need the straight community to damn and destroy as there are those from within our own community who do this from within and these vocal and loud assholes hold a certain power as they are not alone in their resentment and envy and this is what is destructive of many good and important things.
Look at how many gay men hate Peter Tatchell who has done more for gay rights than anyone else in the country and we have a great deal to thank him for but bitchy queens hate him and should be kissing his feet.
If you are reading this and feel you want to chat and relax and find out more about being a gay men, we are here for you at Hamilton Hall.