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abuse goes two ways

We see so much in the news about how men abuse women but what we do not see is that there is just as much abuse from women towards men, but men keep quiet about it while women scream the house down and demand action, even if and when they started the fight - it is usually the man who pays the price AND THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE.



Dear John. I give you full permission to use my e mail on your Blog / Newsletter.

Forty years I was married. Forty years of no sex, no affection, no friendship and no thoughts towards me at all. My wife ruled the roost and demanded everything went her way. I was always too soft and should have put a stop to her behaviour right at the beginning but I just ' let it go'- and it eventually grew into a loveless and friendless relationship where I stayed for the children.

She would beat me up if I put a foot wrong and would often have a black eye or cut lip where she had hit me. I never hit her back until it all became too much. I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and when I came back - very emotional and upset from the hospital on my own, she screamed at me as if it was my fault and came at me with her fists flying screaming that I was doing it all to hurt her - and I just hit her once, and knocked her clean out.

I packed my bags that very afternoon and left.

She was sprawled on the floor for a good hour unconscious and I just left her there.

I was gone before she came round and I asked one of our sons to collect some other things while I moved into one of my rental cottages which was free and some distance away. I was retired by now and needed to concentrate on my cancer and my health and my sons were delighted I had left, saying they thought Mother had castrated me decades ago as I never stood up for myself and it took a cancer diagnosis to wake me up and make me get the hell out of there.

I did laugh when my sons said they thought I had been castrated by her.

She screamed all the way through the divorce - Screamed in court - Screamed at the solicitors and every time we met, she screamed, and I am glad to say, OTHERS SAW what she was like and backed away - and she saw that - and THAT was the start of her realizing what a horrid person she had been, when everyone took my side against her and she ended up with absolutely no one at all, as all had seen and all had been a part of and all were thrilled I was out and doing my own thing.

A couple of years after our divorce she was arrested for beating on her new partner and served 14 days in prison for assault and had to undergo Anger Management Classes and she was given 100 hours of Community work, and THAT shut her up - especially as the Community Work she had to undergo was right in the middle of town and where everyone saw her.

Men do abuse - but women abuse just a much and in that horrible hidden kind of way and where they turn the waterworks on and scream 'He hit me' - or something else just as inflammatory but untrue - even when you have not and everyone feels sorry for the women when it is OFTEN the woman that causes and creates the problem and then just sits back while others get hurt - claiming to be the victim when the truth is, they are NO VICTIIM - but THE CAUSE. Jonathan M.


John. Women who abuse. My Mother was the abusive one. She would beat on my father, beat on all of us children ( 2 boys and a girl ) and it was only when a teacher noticed strangle marks round my neck at school ( I was 8 ) and called Social Services, that anything was done,. She was sent to Anger Management and Parenting classes and it helped, and Father got his act together and divorced her and we all went with him and she never even bothered to fight for custody or ask after us - and we never saw her again. She was not missed. Mark K.


Hi John

I am so pleased you published that article on Women attacking men, I unfortunately feel foul of that in my life, one of the most horrific and shocking experiences I could not believe could happen to me, in the end I had some incredible friends that at 2 in the morning took me out of the house and hid me on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Her mother was head of social services in the Council ( who I worked for as a care assistant) she eventually drew up the paperwork and had her daughter put in a mental institution. I have no idea what happened further and don’t want to know.

I am so glad you have got a new Dog I hope all goes smoothly for you

Wishing you all the very best



John: Glad you wrote about women who abuse men. On my wedding day - decades ago - on the evening after it was all over and we were on our Honeymoon in Majorca, I got horny and she slapped me down telling me she no longer wanted sex with me as she had the ring on her finger now and that all she wants from a relationship is a husband who leaves her alone and does as he is told and for her to be the little housewife at home looking after what kinds we were ( not ) to have and that it was my job to keep her now and that as she had high expectations, I had better get with the programme. I was stuck in a hotel bedroom for the next 12 nights with a refrigerator and we never consummated the wedding at all during the honeymoon and when I started to wank in front of her one night after she - once again - pushed me off, she screamed the house down about how I was disgusting and perverted at my age - wanking was for teenagers - and she refused to sleep in the bed with me that night, so I slept on the couch in the room. After the honeymoon was over, without her knowledge and where I was just going with the flow of what she demanded - I saw a solicitor and applied for divorce on the grounds the relationship was never consummated, , and she was served the papers on the same day I moved out and was gone by the time she came home from her Mothers, where she had been staying for a few days and got the papers. She badly let herself down in court by making it clear what she was not willing to be a part of in a relationship and even the judge gasped at one time and asked her is she thought this was a healthy way forward - and I was granted the annulment.

The best day of my life was when I married my current wife and we enjoy a really good and healthy relationship and sex life and it is so different and so rewarding and we laugh all the time. Robert N.


John: I found it hard to admit as a man, but I was in an abusive relationship with my wife for 7 years and it was embarrassing. Going to work with bruises and scratches all over my face. She knew how to whack a punch and then follow up with her nails digging in and there was one time too many, when she caused a fight because she was jealous her sister had a new car and I could not afford to buy her one, and she went off screaming how I was a failure, a no body, a worthless piece of shit and so forth, and eventually she repeatedly came slapping at me - dozens of times, and I eventually just punched her lights out - one hit - and she went down like sack of potatoes, heavy - and was out cold. I had blood and serious bruises on my face and had them photographed by - of all people, my daughter - who had witnessed too many fights and always ragged at me to stand up to her, and the photo's proven a pivotal point when she called the cops to get me arrested for domestic violence and the police took one look at me and my daughter standing up for me, and arrested my wife and she was taken into custody, screaming how she was the victim and how I had attacked her, but the evidence was clear and even the police were not buying it.

I refused to pay for her bail and she waited 7 days in prison before going to trial as she was done for Domestic Violence - and was then ordered to Anger Management Classes - and something clicked inside her and something changed and she has been fine after that - although I did walk out on her and divorce her and she is now so repentant, but it's too late. I am out of there and came out a year later and have been happy ever since. At least if I have a fight with my boyfriend, we are equals and actually, we have never had a physical fight as we discuss, like adults, any problems and find a peaceful solution.

Michael M.


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