abuse of a nice gesture.

Here is a copy of an e mail sent to everyone on our data base ( 05/04/21 ) - a nice offering - yet there are a few who read what they want - see what they want - and take what they want - regardless of whether it is right or not.

Scroll down for a reply e mail that - actually - shocked me.

My e mail sent:

' Hi and thanks for your e mails concerning why there is so little being offered by gay groups for their members.

The pandemic saw most groups hibernate and members lost without a supportive word. Many have voiced how these groups seems to have abandoned them at a time when something - anything - would have helped.

The word COMMUNITY seems to mean little when a pandemic hits and people selfishly cater towards their own self preservation and do nothing for others. Waiting and responding once the height of the worry is over is no more use than doing nothing at all.

It is DURING the pandemic that you will be judged afterwards as to how you helped - or not - how you guided - or not - and whatever you chose to do for others - or not - that will set you up - or not - for the future.

Many gay organisations seem to have done nothing - nothing at all - to keep in touch - keep people interested -

keep people mentally alive and just to offer a little something from a group that is suppose to be about community,

but has let its members down during a pandemic.

Lack of interest perhaps ?

Nothing in it for them ?

No reward - as if reward was what this is about ???

Hamilton Hall has been there throughout - a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE - with our ' new since the pandemic started ' - weekly Newsletter / Blog MASSIVELY read each week and where our web presence rises each week by many hundreds of % and is read globally.

Hamilton Hall also celebrated its 21st Anniversary recently and is one of the only gay men's venues in the UK still owned and guided by the same person and not new owners or new management every few years and not run by a committee who drag their heels and slow everything down to a crawl.

Hamilton Hall is HERE and NOW and we open May 17th 2021 - and after the thousands of e mails, phone calls and letters ( people still write letters and cards and it has been a joy to receive and read your comments ) and thanks everyone. We are here for you, mind, body and soul.

If anyone is lonely and in need of a chat - John - 01202-399227 - and if you would like to offer to chat to others - send me your details and I shall put them out there for our readers to see, and thanks.

John Bellamy www.hamiltonhall.info

Here is the first response I received and as you can tell, some people absolutely do not get it - do not see past the end of their own nose, do not get that others are involved and do no see anything wrong with being self centred.


'Hi john. I would love a tantric massage and all that goes with it the whole works and prostrate massage to as iv never had 1 but i have read a lot about them , Regards Tim'


John Bellamy responds: Maybe I am being too sensitive - which is unlikely for a tough old broad like me who was a sex worker for 2 decades - but - I found this mans e mail to be a complete slap in the face of what my e mail was about - and a complete ignorance of the problems faced by many - and maybe this mans answer is BECAUSE of the pandemic in that any mental health problem is exacerbated by long lonely sexually frustrating month after month and where emotional problems - as well as sexual frustration, enables some to assume it is okay - when it is not.

At NO TIME , did he think to ask after us here at Hamilton Hall.

At NO TIME did he ask how we are coping being closed.

At NO TIME did he offer anything of himself in order to help others – at least – not in my awareness anyway.

His e mail address has been logged onto my data base since April 2013 - so has received hundreds of e mails and promos etc. from us but this is the first time he has e mailed anything, and this is what he sends.

Cleary his mind is between his legs which is fine, but so grossly innappropriate considering what he was responding to. If I was promoting a Tantric Sex Workshop - then I could understand, but I wasn't.

Please guys - think with your head and get your brain out of your crutch - please - even if just for an hour while we consider others during this traumatic time.

Also: Just because I was a sex worker - am a sex guru - teach an assortment of workshops on sexuality, does not mean that this is all I am. I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT and I offer SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT and some of you - apparantly - assume that this is all I ever will be, the sex symbol hooker - and my mind, my thoughts, my concerns, my sensitivity towards others and the good work facilitated through the venue I invested my lifes work in - financially and emotionally - Hamilton Hall - is all meaningless unless it is sex based.


I despair that after 8 years on my data base, this guy has not realized that I - and Hamilton Hall - are so much more than anything / anyone ever experienced before and both - really - are one of a kind, and not through ego, but through honesty and if you cannot appreciate the whole - and choose to observe the small, then you will massively miss out on lifes journey that offers so much more, if only you could stop looking in the mirror and see a wide world full of people of which we are all a part.

John Bellamy


John. I am on several community gay groups that I assumed had closed down because I heard nothing at all for such a long time. Seems they are now planning events for the year ahead - and after offering us nothing at all - they now expect us to show interest in them, while they showed no interest in us. I shall not continue as a member on either group as they have shown their true worth is doing nothing during this pandemic while you have gone way out there and THAT John, is what people will remember.



hI John

Great Email

It's very commendable. I knew when I met you for the first time that you are totally committed, honourable and dependable

You have made Hamilton Hall a comfort home to so many

Keep up the good work, John

Hope to see you soon

Incidentally, would you know anyone in London area for a chat?

If you do, please forward my number ( PLEASE ASK ) . Much appreciated

Stay safe. My regards to everyone at HH

Yours B.


John. I feel your irritation. Asking for a tantric experience when your e mail was about something so kind and thoughtful just sends shock waves through some peoples lifestyles as that's all they have to them and nothing else will get through. Dumb ignorant fools John. Ignore them. Barry ( Remember me from London Agate Road days... BA...? )


Thank you John for the really good, interesting and consoling email. I thought it may be just my thoughts and glad it’s not. Your statement of "Lack of interest perhaps ? Nothing in it for them ? No reward”, pretty much sums it up for me, the attitude of many. If there is a positive side to the pandemic, it’s been to show up those who are just up there own arse. For example, you find your apparent group of 20 friends is actually only 2.

There has been some stunning and amazing people, but on the whole, most appear to be very selfish. Personally, I’ve had a difficult year in which my Mother went downhill physically and mentally with Dementia and finding and paying for Care, with it not being possible to take care of her myself any longer, plus the legal stuff, has been a nightmare. But Hey, she’s my Mum and have battled through and got there. Sadly, my siblings have disappeared off the Planet, with little contact or emotional support. Although, one did contact me after many months, with a convoluted idea how food and general supplies could be ordered and I would pay for hers and not a single word of asking how her own Mother was. LOL, two words came to mind and the second one was ‘Off'. Two friends have been brilliant and I’ve realised that they are my true friends.

Oh so looking forward to coming back to Hammy Hall soon.

All the best and thanks for the contact.



Good one John. Know your frustrations at others and their lack of care for others. Afer all these years you still amaze me with your thoughtfulness. Vic.


Well done to you Jonny. I take my hat off to what you have done and continue to offer through HH. I gave up my gay biz after just 5 years as it drove my relationship apart, and running anything gay related is difficult as there are so many obnoxiously rude fuck ups on the scene. You have my best wishes and admiration. Walt. ( New England )


John: Received your piece on how some gay groups have done nothing, and I absolutely agree with you. I have not heard a whisper until recently when the concept of reopening was introduced, and only then did several groups I am a member of bother to get in contact,. and then only because they have a ' to be paid for ' events planned and this was advertising for the event and not to ask how any of us were and their hope that we are all doing okay. No mention of phone calls to members to keep them chipper. No organising local guys on their data base get in touch so they could put people local to each other, in touch. No news from these groups at all.

Nothing. I have been to HH several times, a few years ago, and have been thrilled when you started sending out the Blog when this pandemic hit as it has kept me in touch with Hamilton Hall ( very clever ) as well as a mixture of things to amuse, educate and often, the sweet doggy things - cry my eyes out. Thanks John. Just be aware you are so ahead of these groups in showing how much you care when - I assume - they do not unless it gains them attention and that is ego John - so my heart felt congratulations to you and shame on the others. Rob. ( Swindon )


Thanks for this e mail John . You are right, The scene is basically shit. Thank goodness we have HH. Tony ( Bristol )


The scene here in the US is really no different John. Look at the gay sex party boat that sank in Puerto Vallarta a few months ago;- could these guys really not keep their dick in their pants and behave, obviously for some, they cannot, and that side of the LGBT scene disgusts. Hundreds of people are put at risk because of some selfish faggots could not behave themselves. We in the US were shocked by this and horrified when our Trump suggested bleach and disinfactant, and other than cry, you have to laugh. If coming from the top, no wonder there are so many crazies out there. What example do they have.

Bradley G. ( Florida - Sarasota )


John, I hear you. Three times you have taken the time to speak to me when I was lonely and in need of someone to talk to. It was so appreciated as at the lowest moment for me, when I had no one to talk to, I went onto your web site, and phoned, and you were so sweet to listen and offer company. I've since read your Blog weekly and feel more connected knowing someone is out there who does care - and that your venue will be open soon and I shall book and come as soon as possible. Thanks to you John, I have managed to keep myself upbeat.

Gordon M. ( Croydon )


Stay true John. There is only one Ham Hall and we love it. Don't let the arseholes get you down. David V.


Absolutely agree John. So little offered by these gay groups who ae only interested as long as they make money or get attention. Its all part of the problem and not the cure. Geoff.


I do like the way you write us John. So from your heart and registers with me all the time. LGBT scene is as you say, a mess. Dean ( New England )



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