Agony Aunt

John - I found this poster and thought you might like it for your Newsletter. It says what many of us are feeling. How we are not wanted in our own country and how this Conservative Prime Minister is not for the people of the UK at all but for the Muslims he is allowing to take over our green isle.

I have never been that political but find this disgraceful and while I rarely vote, this time I will be there when the doors first open. We cannot allow our country to be taken over by immigrants who just want to destroy our culture and way of life.

Roger.

John Answers: Thanks Roger. I have seen this poster recently and I must agree with you, it is disgraceful. Then he leaves the D Day celebrations early because of an ITV interview - and what an appalling excuse - his actions were disrespectful, insulting and arrogant towards everyone attending and to the fallen. This man knows no respect for the UK and just sees it as an avenue to power and to allow a cultural change in the UK to one of Muslim and if that continues, the LGBT flags flying in the picture would soon be torn down and burned in the streets by the radical Muslims who want / demand the UK come under Shia law - and that's where we are rounded up and thrown from tall buildings, or simply stoned to death.

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John: I married ten years ago and we had two children within the first couple of years and then - I came out to my wife. I wasn't expecting the reaction I got though. She said that as long as the bills were paid, the car worked, everything was okay, then she would always support me, be the perfect wife and partner and as she was quite happy being a mother and wife and that sex was always a chore for her, she would support me and keep my gay life a secret and - as she said - ' There's no problem dear, it actually makes life easier.'

This has now worked for 6 years and we have a really good relationship and close family, but there are times I want a gay lover and not just gay sex but know that would be impossible so if and when someone wants too much of my time, like they are getting too close - I have to stop seeing them as I only want casual relationships and my main relationship with my wife and children is not worth jeopardising.

Phil

John Answers Again, Not the first time I have heard such a story. Good for you and well done.

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John: I have been following you for some time and wondered what you might think of my recent predicament.

My brother is married to a woman from Thailand.

She is pregnant, and wants her family to visit FOR A YEAR after the baby is born. They asked / demanded that her brother, wife and 2 small children stay with me for the year while her parents stay with them, and I flatly said 'NOT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE '

She feels she needs her family around her at this time and my answer is to FUCK OFF BACK TO THAILAND THEN as I am NOT about to have my space invaded by strange people WITH 2 SMALL KIDS as my entire life style would change dramatically - so no weekend sex parties, no late night orgies and no damned privacy.

I am staggered they thought it okay - staggered.

Family have all cold shouldered me but I am resolute in my decision and have suggested they take an apartment for a year with a lease, and they can pay rent and pay their own utilities and not bleed my bills and abuse my home.

I am OUTRAGED they even think it okay to even ASK such a stupid and questionable thing as once I get them in, how do I get them out, so my answer is NO NO NO NO NO.... but it has not gone down well.

When I said she needs to fuck off home to Thailand if she is that lonely for her family, OH MY GOD THE EARTHQUAKES - the screaming, the tears, the tantrums, while I stood there and eventually just laughed as it was pathetic to see - even my own brother, caves in to her demands and tears and I just walked away with a loud and definite -

'NO WAY ON GOD'S EARTH IS YOUR FAMILY STAYING WITH ME EVEN FOR A SINGLE NIGHT. PERIOD.'

No one is talking to me but you know what John, I don't give a damn as how dare they assume such a thing, How dare they even ASK such a thing as what audacity and to now give ME the cold shoulder is outrageously bad form. The actually demanded I allow them to stay and that TOTALLY got my back up instantly as who do they think they are ? My brother is my brother but we were never that close, as I am 5 years older - and to actually demand a whole family of 4 invade my space is - well - it's questionable at best, damned rude - and taking extreme advantage for which I pull away and repeatedly say NO NO NO NO NO.

Am I doing the right thing ?

Victor

Johns Answer:

I have to congratulate you on your response and is exactly as I would have suggested. People / family often take advantage of single children who live alone assuming they are free to baby sit, help out and all sorts and just because we do not have wives and kids of our own does not mean our time is free for them to take advantage of. A year is an outrageous assumption to take - and actually is outrageous even to ask - as really Victor, this is not a normal request - a whole family with 2 small kids, are they absolutely nuts ? Good for you for saying no, stay with it and do not cave in under pressure although it sounds to me, as if you have this sorted already and good for you.

John

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John: When my wife and I divorced a couple of years ago she made it obvious she did not want to take our daughter with her as her new partner did not want kids. I was shocked she could turn her back on her own child as quick, it meant that I got sole custody. It wasn't until after all the paperwork and stuff was completed through the courts and ' my girl, was solely mine, that I asked the courts for financial support from the Mother and she was gobsmacked when the courts ordered her to pay £550 a month towards her keep. She actually argued with the Judge that she just wanted to walk away and have nothing else to do with me or her chid and this caused the judge to actually tell her off, bark loudly about her financial responsibilities and how there was no way he ( the Judge ) was going to allow her to just walk away without contributing towards her ( our daughters ) financial upkeep.

My daughter lives with my boyfriend and myself and is the most level headed, together and balanced human being and I do thank God for that. She is a marvel and while I do not put her Mother down or EVER talk negatively about her, my girl knows and sees all, and knows her Mother is a waste of space and now she has 2 dads and says she loves us both and is really happy. Her grades at school went up and she is a delight.

Not all mothers make good mothers and sometimes the gay dads do a far better job than many straight dads.

Rupert ( not my real name but a name that always makes me smile in its campness.)

John Answers: Thanks for this Rupert. It is not the first time I have heard such a story as you share and I have known a lot of men who won guardianship over their own children away from the Mother and not the first time the Mother was astounded to be told to pay support.

One guy I knew - top job, huge income, but the state still made his wife pay £1,000 every month to support the twins she abandoned with their Father as soon as it suited her, and the courts soon pinned her down and after a period in jail, she saw things differently. She even tried to claim they were not her children which considering she pushed them out - and there was video of it ( not for family viewing ) she clearly had a screw loose some place.

Well done you guys and good for you and your daughter. Not all women have that maternal instinct and not all men are useless at child rearing either. I take my hat off you to.

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