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At last, some common sense.

An IT worker sued her boss for sexual harassment after believing his use of "xx", "yy", and "????" in an email asking for more information was a coded way of asking for sexual relations.

Karina Gasparova also claimed that when Alexander Goulandris renamed a work file with his initials 'ajg' it was an abbreviation of "A Jumbo Genital".


The employment tribunal at London Central Court said Ms Gasparova's perception of events was "skewed".

Her claims were rejected.


'Chat her up'


Ms Gasparova was a project manager at the London office of essDOCS, a company that provides "paperless trade solutions".

She took the firm to the tribunal claiming sexual harassment, discrimination and unfair dismissal.


The tribunal heard she believed her superior, Mr Goulandris, was "trying to chat her up" when discussing business on work calls, and claimed he would stare at her.


It was also claimed that email correspondence from Mr Goulandris insinuated a desire to "engage in sexual acts".

Presented as evidence, the email from Mr Goulandris read:


"Can you please complete the following:

The solution us currently used by xx Agris companies and yy Barge lines in corn cargoes in south-north flows in the ???? waterways.


Also, can you remind me of what the balance of the rollout will be and the approx. timing.

Thanks"


Ms Gasparova, who represented herself, argued the 'xx' referred to kisses, 'yy' to sexual contact and '????' as a coded way of asking "when she would be ready" to engage in sexual acts.


'An alluring voice'


But the tribunal panel said it was a "genuine request for information" and did not imply any sexual nature.

Further allegations included Mr Goulandris saying "have a nice evening", in what Ms Gasparova described as "an alluring voice".


And she claimed he deliberately touched her hand when reaching for a computer mouse.


The tribunal said neither incident were sexual in nature and they were also rejected.


Ms Gasparova told the panel Mr Goulandris was "rich and powerful" and that a "man in his position would be too clever" to make any advances obvious.


She submitted a formal grievance letter in April 2021 against Mr Goulandris, but resigned after it was rejected, the hearing was told.


The claims from Ms Gasparova were called a "skewed perception of everyday events" by the tribunal panel, which also said she "demonstrated a tendency to make extraordinary allegations without evidence".


Ms Gasparova's claims of sexual harassment, discrimination and unfair dismissal were rejected and she was ordered to pay £5,000 costs to essDOCS.


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John Bellamy Comments:


At last, some common sense and I am so pleased to see she has been ordered to pay £5,000 to the company towards their costs etc. GOOD.


So good to see that these people who scream rape, sexual abuse, violence and all sorts when it is fake, get some kind of comeuppance. All too often those who fake a rape / sexual abuse claim, or any kind of sexual misconduct, deserves all the worst that comes their way just as they were trying to do to someone else in return.

It does a massive dis service to those who are genuine and who have a real case of rape, as when these people fake it - ALL women get dragged into the ' IT'S FAKE' routine and people like Amber Heard - by lying and conniving to try and get Johnny Depp into trouble for abuse that was all proven to be untrue and made up by her, destroys DECADES of good work undertaken by abused women to get the police and courts to take them seriously, and now every time we hear about some kind of abuse aimed at a women and where she is putting in a complaint, we have to wonder if she is just another Amber Heard and lying through her teeth just to get some innocent man into trouble - or whether she is actually telling the truth.


Any kind of sexual abuse is wrong, but we need to be aware that women are just as guilty of giving abuse as any man, and we rarely hear of women abusing men as men are all too often embarrassed to admit it and come forward and many men are abused within their relationships and abuse comes in many different guises and is not just sexual or mental / emotional.


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Dear john: 20 odd years ago I was in a sexually abusive relationship with my first - and only - wife. . On our wedding night my new wife announced we were not going to celebrate being married with sex as she had had more sex than she wanted and now she had the ring on her finger, she didn't want any ' of that any more.'



I thought she was joking so made ' some moves' to be passionate, and she really screamed at me that she meant every word and to ' stay the fuck away'-


I was astounded and open mouthed so I went back down to the wedding party ( as we were all staying in a hotel where the reception was held ) and got drunker than a skunk with those who were still up, and when asked why I wasn't upstairs making hay - I was honest in what she had just told me and I was NOT going to hold back and NOT tell people, I was very open and honest and told everyone.


Even her own Father just looked to one side and muttered ' Takes after her mother for that...'


The next few weeks of married life were awful as she was furious I had told everyone what she had said and made all sorts of demands about sleeping separately as punishment to me for blabbing to everyone, and she was very much demanding that I do as instructed / demanded - by her.

So for the next few months there was no sex at all, and without her knowledge I arranged for an annulment of the marriage and took her to court after I moved out one day when she was at her mothers and I just left, took everything that was mine, and as my Dad owned a couple of rental flats, I was not homeless and my dad was terrific in his understanding and his help and even my mother understood why I was leaving and how 'the wife' - as we called her - was some kind of demanding vixen who spat flames when she didn't get her own way and spat bullets just with the way she looked hate filled looks in your direction and there was absolutely no love there.


She was furious - absolutely beside herself with seething anger that she could not get at me and scratch my eyes out - as no one had ever stood up to her before and I MOST certainly was not going to take it and as always I did see the funny side in it all. but she MOST CERTAINLY was not amused.


Thank God we didn't have kids.

I married another wonderful women three years after and absolutely - we have enjoyed the best sex life imaginable and no complaints there, and I feel sorry for any man in an abusive relationship they feel scared to leave and at least I left before it got too tangled up between us, like kids or anything, as I cannot even imagine how demanding she would have been .


Mark ( Coventry )

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Dear John:

My wife hit me on our wedding night. So I hit her right back. It was more a natural reaction than me deciding to hit her back, it just happened and I was not sorry.

I hit her back with the same kind of power and force as she had offered - so I held back enormously and did not use all my male strength, while she HAD used all the strength she had.

She screamed that I had embarrassed her at our wedding reception - and she had seethed all the rest of the party until she got me alone and then slapped me right round the face - but was instantly hit right back again.

She screamed the place down and thank God we were still at home and the honeymoon was not to start until the next day - with flights to Majorca all booked.

My Father use to hit my Mother and she always hit him right back and was not prepared to tolerate being the victim - and I have always felt that if a women hits a man, he should and must hit her back as anything else is just so one sided and wrong.

You hit me, I hit you. Period.

I shouted at her there and then that if she EVER laid her hands on me like that again she would soon find herself single and divorced and I WILL claim physical violence as a means for divorce and I WILL tell everyone how she is the abuser and that I WAS NOT going to tolerate any kind of physical violence in any home I lived in, and she soon learned and never hit me again. Mind you, she withheld sex between us as a punishment and we divorced after just a year of wedded un bliss and I did not hold back at letting people now exactly how abusive and fucked up she was.


Robert


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I moved to the USA to live with my new wealthy lover and he beat me up within the first week of arriving.

I was stunned and not sure WTF to do as I had given up my job, home and everything to move and to be with this man who I loved dearly and who suddenly turned into a ' beater' and at the drop of a hat, - any excuse - he would throw a tantrum and smack me and on a couple of occasions, he actually tried to kill me - and never an apology the next day, just a nice trip some where like Hawaii for a month as a gesture of apology.

So I got to have some neat vacations all over the place as apologies for his mistreatment and while I enjoyed the trips, the beatings never stopped and booze was one factor or the lack of cocaine was another - and he would flip from this wonderful gentle man into this evil bully - and it was very hard knowing which mood he was going to be in at any given time. Our relationship lasted just over 4 years and while it was him who split us up and sent me packing, it was the best thing for me as freedom from that kind of abuse is always a revelation as to WTF I allowed it to continue for so long. I most certainly wouldn't tolerate it these days but this was some decades ago and being so much younger and insecure, I put up with it.


John


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