How would you tell someone politely they have poor personal hygiene habits which makes them difficult to be around?
This is something I learned to cope with long ago when I was a sex worker as not everyone has the same idea of personal hygiene.
This heavily built man came to see me one afternoon for a massage ( with a happy ending ) and as soon as I opened the front door, the smell hit me - strong back of the throat meaty rich body odour - or BO as its commonly known and it was powerful.
He came into my Massage Room and I asked if he wouldn't mind taking a shower before we start, which he did, and we continued with the massage. Mind you - even with joss sticks perfuming in the room could not hide the smell as his clothes reeked of his sweat.
At the end of the massage I asked if he would like another shower - deliberately - and stated that as he was covered in massage oil he needed to wash it off.
He jokingly said -
'Oh wow - 2 showers in one day - My Mother runs me a bath every Saturday morning - even if I don't need it.'
and this took my breath away momentarily and my mind went into overdrive of -
' Do I say something ? Is it my position to say something ? '
and as much as my mind was in a whirl about what to do - when he came out from his shower, I decided I needed to speak hp.
He was a very sweet man in his late 20's - about 5'8" and a few stone overweight. He told me he was a Kitchen Porter in a big London hotel and how the other staff ignored him most the time and that his take home pay - he told me - was £90 ( late 80's ) and here he was spending £50 with me.
After he said his piece about his Mother runing him a bath even if he didn't need it - I spoke up.
I teased and said that he did indeed need the bath every week and there was no ' even if he didn't need it as you - 'onk' ! I teased and asked if he noticed the flies around him as he came in and that went over his head so I thought, okay - godda be brutally kind here and said -
' You tell me the people at work keep away from you - and the reason is because - sorry to say it but - you have a VERY strong BO - VERY strong - in fact, it will put people off getting too close and I am amazed you cannot smell it for yourself as it really is a back of the throat meats smell. Now, you have just had a shower and although you are nice and clean - ALL your clothes stink and need a HOT WASH - a very hot eash, otherwise you may be clean but your clothes hold that BO residue even after washing and it is very strong. I mean absolutely no offense but you do smell badly and you will loose friends and workmates because of this and you are a really nice man, and this is easy to change. '
It was all said slightly jokingly and with a big smile and I held his hand as we spoke and he knew I was not being horrid for the sake of being horrid.
He was a bit embarrassed and I told him not to - and that it was no big deal to me as - believe me - I have had MUCH worse in my time and it really doesn't bother me, but it will most people and anyone sitting next to you on the bus or tube would move away.
I told him that at least, even if he cannot bath every day, a hot face cloth / flannel around his 'private parts' - and a good deodorant and talc - daily - really will help, and as his tummy had a fold in it and under the fold was sore - to keep a tissue tucked into the fold and / or talc to keep it clean and dry.
I smiled throughout and made fun of all I was saying as I meant no harm and I didn't want to upset him as he genuinly didn't know and his Mother really should have taught him better - and I was so pleased when we laughed about it together before he left and he was so sweet and so gentle.
He came back a few weeks later - ALL CHANGE - no smell and a complete freshness about him and his clothes.
We chatted and he told me of his daily washing routine - still a bath once a week but a good wash every morning and night and a good deodorant, and his clothes were all fresh and clean and it was like a new man. He was thrilled as people at work were now talking to him and paying him attention and he came to actually thank me. I was very touched at that as it was something so small - but changed his life completely - and he recognised it almost immediately.
The worst thing I have experienced - thousands of times - and to me is worse that BO - CHEESY DICKS...
Oh the smell of a sweaty cheesy foreskin is one of the worst turn offs and again, some men absolutely have no idea about personal hygiene when it comes to washing their dick and even down to wiping their ass properly. The amount of shitty underpants I have seen and really dirty underwear that probably only got washed once a month - and here they are assumiung it is okay to visit a sex worker in this condition and that we - because we are being paid - will take it - and believe me - I don't care how much you pay me, there are limits and guidelines for decent behaviour when having sex with anyone, free or paid - and at least you do is wash your bits beforehand and if its a long hot day, plop it in the sink and give it a quick wash and don't expect others to like cheesy foreskins, as it disgusts.
Sadly, there are a lot of smelly dicks in the UK.
So how have you coped with smelly people ?
John Bellamy --------------------------------------------------------------------
IF ANYONE TAKES OFFENSE AT ANYTHING IN LIFE, THEY NEED TO OWN IT AND REMEMBER, NO ONE CAN BE INSULTED WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION.