Dating a much older man. a
There are many pitfalls with older man and much younger lovers. I experienced it myself when I was 16 and he was 42 - and it was not easy at all but then, this was 1972 and things were a lot different then, but money comes into it whether 50 years ago or today.
When I was 16 I met and fell for a man who was 42. Within 3 months I was working in his restaurant and ' living in' although that was because we were lovers and not because of the job but it had to be seen that it was a ' live in position' for my parents sake. It had to look legit, which it was as I was working and going to catering school one day a week, but the whole point was in working there, was that I had been seeing the restaurants owner for 3 months before he askled me to move in. Which I leapt at - a chance to leave home...
Older men / lovers should have more experience in every aspect of life - usually. Unfortunately my older man acted as if I was suppose to know exactly how to live with a lover - another man and not my family who all had our ' little ways' and we were use to our differences but at 16 - what the fuck did I know and it did cause some trouble as he was an appalling parent figure - an appallingly bad role model and never allowed me any consideration for the age difference and it was - kind of - down to me to grow up and learn with hardly any input or advise from him at all.
When I turned 17 I applied - on his instruction - to have driving lessons and when the guy arrived for the first lesson, he was astounded I did not have a provisional license, and as my older father figure lover had not even thought to tell me - as how was a 16 year old to know this and any father figure would have advised - but not him - he was about as much use to a young guy learning his way in life as a wet soggy lettuce leaf - no use at all.
We argued over this as I stated how was I to know about a license unless he told me and his answer was repeatedly that I should have known, and could not answer when I asked him HOW was I to know UNLESS HE ADVISED ME ...
He was a complete idiot in dealing with such a young lover and as this was 1971 and the world was a lot more innocent, I was left floundering.
While experience in life is great, you cannot deny that someone who has years of sexual experience under his belt is more intriguing than someone who doesn’t know their way around a cock ring. Dating an older man could be eye-opening in a lot of ways, but sexually - you are going to be traveling down a well-worn path that has been there and done a lot. Plus, what they haven’t done, those new things, you can teach them! So think of their path as a two-way street of sexual knowledge expansion but this is only available to you if the older man is not full of his own superiority and arrogance and assumes he knows everything and he is the best at sex and there is NOTHING a younger guy can teach as - he already knows it all.
There are two ideal situations when it comes to privacy and an older gentleman. First off, there is a certain age when people tend to not have a gaggle of roommates. Meaning that when you hook up at their place, you don’t have to worry about anyone else listening in. Well, except maybe the neighbors if either of you are like a banshee in the bedroom. Secondly, older and wise people barely fuck around with social media. This means that what you two do isn’t always going to be displayed for public consumption. If you’ve been looking for someone who isn’t attached to their phone and posting every second of the day, then older is the route to go.
Older men are often more comfortable with themselves and less likely to care about anything you may be insecure about. Hell, they’ll probably wind up praising those little “problems” you may think you have because all he sees is a hot, young person standing before him.
At this point in time, older men are still boomers, which means they came from a generation that took their finances seriously. This is also because they grew up in a time where homes were often rented but this is also the Maggie Thatcher generation of buying your own home. So when you hook up with someone from that generation, .you know he’s going to be stable in the bank account department. Meaning you don’t have to fuck up your funds dealing with someone who doesn’t have their shit together.
IT’S A PARTNERSHIP
Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes dating a guy even in their 20’s can be like taking care of a child. With an older man, that’s more than likely not going to be the case because of all of the above and then some. You don’t have to worry about them showing up to your family function in sweats and a T shirt canceling on you and your friends last minute because they lost track of time playing video games, nor do you have to play all those stupid games because an older man ain’t got time for all that.
NIGHTS IN Probably the older man will want to watch telly most evenings or cater to his hobby and will not want loud bars and night clubs which the young partner may well want to experience. He is young and wants to see and hear and enjoy it all - whereas the older man has done all that, enjoyed but ultimately found it all unfulfilling and vacuous - and so enjoys the real life he finds with himself and his friends and now with his new young partner.
Young blood around old timers keeps them young as well. I have not heard the ' HIT PARADE ' - or as it's known these days as 'THE CHARTS' - in decades and 90% of people in the top 20 music charts, I confess, I have never heard of ... where as 40 - 50 years ago, I knew every group and singer... knew all the songs and even the words and when played today, takes me back decades and it is as if time has stood still, whereas unless someone new has covered an old song, most the music I love a younger lover has never heard of - and it's all ' Old Mans Music...'
I have often met old men in their 80's who live in Thailand and CLEARLY pedophiles and who brag about all the young men who are in love with them back in Thailand and I do point out as to WHY THE FUCK would a 15 year old boy want with an 82 year old man if not money, safety, security, food, a bed for the night, a day out on your boat and all sorts of things and he will then grin and suffer through sex with you to pay for the day out or the meal or the money. IT IS NOT BECAUSE HE FANCIES OR WANTS YOU - you are older than their grandparents, so get real. It's money. PERIOD.
But I have met so many old fools who live in denial and absolutely cannot understand when I try and make them aware - and they get taken for rides, stolen from, abused, and then wonder WTF ? and I do have to wake them up to the realities of their actions and how, not to be cruel, but they are no longer the sexy young thing and they are seen as an old wrinkly by these boys and as a MEAL TICKET.
Look at Mrs. Trump.
Do you think she uses a sterilized wet wipe after he has kissed her ?
She has children by him so must have grinned and put up with it for the thought of all those millions -
Oh girlfriend every single person on this planet who sees you with him knows the truth even if you don't.
I may have been a prostitute once and had a price and a service and a great many repeat clients and quite a few would fall in love with me and I NEVER - EVER led them on and would always gently put them off as I was not about to enter a relationship with someone for the money.
My mega rich lover, was just that, my lover who I loved and cared for dearly and it was his money that caused half the problems, as he could not accept I loved him regardless of his money and I was proven correct - as when we split, I was left destitute by a man with millions, and I struggled and made a life for myself despite him and his money and I went from destitute to prostitute and did VERY well for myself, but the point is, many young guys see older man as meal / rent tickets when the opposite is usually the way. Of course, there was no gay marriage in those days and no way of blessing a relationship so giving both partners protection in law and in 1985 when we split, I was homeless and penniless and these days gay men have a great deal more protection in law and this helps protect from happening exactly what happened to me.
The older man is now me. I do not have a younger lover but if I did I would certainly be as helpful and a damned good mentor which is what they need at that age. With all the pitfalls I went through with my older man, I would do it all again - absolutely.
Have you got a younger / older lover ? How does it work for you . Share with us here.