Dirty surgeon learns a lesson about hygiene
Dear John: We spoke on the phone and you suggested I write something for your Blog - so here goes.
My partner is a surgeon. He has worked throughout this pandemic as people still need surgery and he has worked throughout. He is a good man and a good surgeon. But:- ( pictures are not of my partner - but random naked doctors - models )
The other day he came out of the bathroom here at home after having taken a poo and I noticed he had not washed his hands, and here he was touching door knobs, phones and all sorts and I found that disgusting.
I complained, loudly, as if I cannot control the cleanliness and safety within my own home - and if I cannot trust the one person who is still going in and out and mixing with other people , and if I cannot trust this man to help keep me safe as much as I do him with even the basic hygiene precations - then I feel put at risk by the man I am living with - and he is a surgeon.
I complained loudly and all he could say was -, ' Lighten up, I'm about to take the dog out and shall be picking up his poo so where's your problem.'
My problem - as I stated loudly and firmly - was that he was a surgeon. How would his patients and fellow doctors respond if they knew how was taking shits at home and not washing his hands and putting his whole household at risk of - loads of things not even connected to Covid and all this during a global pandemic where thousands are dying and all because of a lack of basic hygiene - and that his reaction to my telling him to wash his hands was grossly childish and immature and how it was time for him to either get on board or jump ship and sod off some place else as I was not about to have him put me at risk. I am asthmatic and diabetic and high risk.
I was furious with his complete and total disrespect for me.
He was furious - almost livid with rage - I would talk to him like that and yelled at me to ' get a life' and I yelled in response how he was putting my life at risk and that if that was his attitude he could move to a motel or live in at the hospital as I was NOT GOING TO ALLOW IT TO CONTINUE - PERIOD - and I am NOT impressed - well not as much as he is - by him being a surgeon and I reminded him time and time again that if his bosses at the hospital knew - if his patients knew - he could loose his license to practice - and he really went off on one.
I left him to it.
I walked out while he screamed.
I have a very gentle and submissive personality but my Mother used the expression about ' when a worm turns' - and when I turn from passive to agressive, I am very much a different person and he has rarely seen that side of my personality and by God he saw it that night. I am NOT about to tollerate his arogance - his feelings of superiority and his arrogance any longer. It has always been a problem and I have spoken up before about his ' superiority' and his feelings of ' entitlement' - and this time I absolutely let rip.
So I gave him a warning - that he either do as I say - every single time he uses the loo and take responsibility for my health as well as his own - as he should all of his patients, or I would out him at work for his dirty unhygienic practices and see how they react to this - and it left him speechless. He knew any divulgance of unhygienic practices at work would get him into trouble - and it shut him up.
I was not pleased and he knew it. I made it clear I MOST DEFINATELY would contact his Chief Surgeon at the hospital and tell him what was going on at home and how I was being put at risk - blah blah blah - and while he was red in the face... I ended by saying to take the dog out and to think about how how arrogant he was being TOWARDS ME - HIS LOVER - who supported him financially for 4 years while he was training - and who had stayed up at nights helping him with revision etc. and it was me who was there for him during his student days and how much nicer he was back then before the arrogance of being a surgeon had set in and his attitude soared out of control, and how I had overlooked all this as we were a couple, and how - with this recent revelation of unhygienic practices in the home during Coviod - I WAS TAKING A STAND AND THINGS WERE GOING TO CHANGE - or he could move into hospital accommodation ( I own half the house ) and if he dared to argue further, I WOULD speak to his bosses and I am sure the local paper would be delighted to hear a story about a dirty surgeon during Covid putting his patients at risk... and that was like a trigger....
I thought he would explode at that - but he took the dog out as suggested and when he returned it looked as if he had sank - he literally sank and looked half his normal size. In a wimpish voice he accepted what I had said and how wrong he was and that while he thought I was the asshole, he acceped he was wrong and would follow suit from now on... AND DO AS HE DAMNED WELL SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL ALONG.
It astounded me that my lover - my 15 year partnership - could so randomly be so inconsiderate towards me. So thoughtless towards others. So conceited
and arrogant that he thought himself above all that - and he needed this very short sharp shock to his system to bring him down to earth - as I was NOT impressed with him being a surgeon and I think a lot of it comes down to him being from India - and he sees himself as superior because of his education - and all that came crashing down for him after I spoke up.
Things improved dramatically and for days after taking a poo he would announce he had scrubbed his hands and it was only after I reminded him it was the adult thing to do and he did not need to look for praise from me after every poo as that was also childish, that he grew up and just started acting like a responsible adult for a change.
It seems that when someone is use to a sub - ( submissive ) and the sub turns one day into a dom - ( dominant ) it can scare the dom to death that the sub had been a dom all along and how - maybe - it
was all a game, or maybe just putting up with, or maybe allowing so the other would feel good about themsleves... and he just couldn't figure me out after that and because of that doubt, he started looking at me with a freshness in his eyes I had not seen for a long time, and because I stood up and spoke out - vociferously - he saw me in a whole new light and our relationshop has changed in so many other ways and all for the best ( now I fuck him - and take a much more dominant role in the house home and bedroom ) and it has been wonderful.
Like a new beginning for us. He is still an arrogant asshole sometimes and still needs bringing down to earth at times, but we are getting there and he washes his hands, thoroughly, after every poo, pee or dog walk.
I have sent some pictures of naked doctors ( models ) if you wish to add them to the Blog and while not my patrner, I appreciate gay men like to see some cock at times and these are sexy pictures and any of these guys could be sexually arrogant with me, but other than that, arrogance is innappropriate under ANY circumstances as we are all the same and we all have our part to play and surgeon, bus driver, politician or factory worker - we are all interdependant and all as needed to help society run. No room for arrogance.
JB Comment: Thankyou so much for this enlightening piece JD and thanks for taking the time after we spoke on the phone. I hope that by taking the time to write this, it helped heal any trauma still lodged within, as I find writing anything that troubles me, and editing and re checking - helps heal. And you got a good rrsult at the end as well. Top Marks .
Oh and thanks for the naked doctor pictures.
If anyone has a story to share - do send it in and share lifes experiences with each other.