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Does life get harder as we get older, or do we make it harder?

John. Like you, I am 67 and I have to say it DEFINITELY has its challenges… I used to abuse tobacco. I quit in 1980. I used to abuse alcohol. I quit in the early 90’s. I quit a 10 year opioid pain pill issue around 2010. My ‘drinking buddies’ kept on inhaling alcohol after I quit. All of them have since died… I developed type 2 diabetes in 2015. My Dr’s tell me my alcohol abuse years earlier caused it… I have advanced destructive arthritis too, have had 4 serious surgeries because of it…Lots of pain, most of the time… BUT, I’M STILL ALIVE… I BELIEVE THAT what we do in our younger years affects us in our later years… I often wonder, had it not been for quitting my ‘bad habits’ I listed above, if any one of them, or ALL OF THEM would have killed me by now. GOD HAS A PLAN…


JB Responds: If we did absolutely everything that was ' good for us ' then life would be one big bore.

If we take chances, take risks, do the unexpected and surprise ourselves as well as others - then life is spent more ' on the edge' and I would much rather spend my time ' on the edge' that sitting comfortably and boringly safe all the time and where life passes by without even being noticed.

There is so much more to life than filling in the gaps with boredom and counting the days until you die.

Consider this :- When at the Pearly Gates and St. Whoever is there to greet you into Heaven, do you want to go silently and respectfully into Heaven - or sliding in sideways like on a surf board going ' WOAH - WHAT A RIDE ..... ? ' I know which one I shall be doing and there is nothing sedate and silent about my life or my lifestyle...

If you wish to play safe all the time, then good for you, but for the few who pull against the flow, decide to do things differently - maybe their way compared to the masses - and where many will resent - and especially as we get older, then you have my respect. Too many play safe and hide behind the bedsheets snipping at life and its many problems and bitch and moan but do nothing to make changes at all. Retirement is meant to be a time when many sit back and take it easy AND DIE SOON AFTER out of boredom. But for some., retirement is a time when a whole new beginning opens before them and some jump right in and take a chance and create a whole new beginning - not an end of an era, but the beginning of a new one, and what could be more thrilling in your twilight years, to have something new to look forward to, something maybe you have never done before, thought of before, approached before, and why the fuck not ? You are not dead yet so why not take a chance. Like me and my new camper van we are making. Something absolutely new and thrilling, frightening as well... and makes me feel alive instead of ' retired.'

Life is hard enough. It is not a straight road. It is not easy and it is fraught with people and things that will let you down and disappoint, especially from within the gay community - such a sit is. There are sign posts / people you can ask for guidance - and we will always be sent guidance if we ask. It is recognising the answer when it comes that can be hard. We are never truly alone, and your guidance will come from within if you look within, if you listen to your inner voice and if you take the time to meditate on any problem and listen to the answer that comes - once again - from within.

You can drink and smoke and fornicate ( fuck your brains out ) as much as as often as you like and as long as it is all consensual and legal, then NO ONE has the right to tell you otherwise. Live your life to suit YOURSELF and not those around you who willingly play small, and if you want to play BIG, then leave the small people behind. They will bitch, but forward thinking is the way and those willing to be stuck in safety and the past, well, thanks for your input so far but I have now outgrown you and need to move on so with thanks, I bid you farewell as I venture further on my journey.

New guides will soon appear and remember, no one ever said it was going to be easy and as with anything in life,



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