fact or fiction - you decide.

Why did they build Windsor Castle so close to Heathrow Airport ?

I saw this on a web site and only an American would ever ask such a question in the first place and ( and yes, it was an American who asked the question ) - clearly - it takes a pretty stupid unintelligent bloody idiot to even think such a thing in adulthood - maybe when under 10 you may question but NOT when an adult. Loved the response from someone else below attached - which I thought was epic.

What kind of ludicrous suggestion would have you think that William the Conquerer had an airforce?
The answer offered made me laugh:-

The actual reason why they built Windsor Castle near the airport was to deter invaders.


You see, anyone who wanted to invade England realised that they'd either have to put up with aircraft noise or build a brand new castle. Considering that the people who ruled over the English cities considered Windsor Castle, to be “perfectly good”, they would refuse to help the ruling monarch to raise taxes to pay for a new castle.


William the Conquerer didn't care about the aircraft noise because he invested heavily in noise cancelling headphones. These noise cancelling head phones had secret, patented technology that could cancel out all aircraft noise and the person who designed them was hanged so that nobody could fig


ure out how they were made. After centuries of passing the headphones through the generations, in 1775, the king's wife, (I forget her name) couldn't tollerate the noise of her husband's (king George III's) snoring and threatened to divorce him if he didn't give his noise cancelling headphones. Being the 1700's and all, the woman's opinion was irrelevant and he didn't that she had to put up with aircraft noise and snoring.


However, when George Washington heard the news of the devorce, he quickly flew over to England and offered to marry George III's wife.

Not wanting to lose his wife to his enemy, George III gave her the headphones, but the aircraft noise drove him insane. This is when he decided to build Buckingham palace, so that could get away from the aircraft noise.


George Washington, at that time thought that George III was at least using the tax money that the Americans didn't want to pay for a good cause. When he discovered the actual use of the tax money was to build a giant private residence for the king, he got really mad and convinced Qubec to join in the fight.

Qubec, however, sold themselves over to the English when each and every single Qubecer was promised a weekly baguette and a nice bottle of wine ever week for the next twenty years. (which is how they became a Canadian province). When the English failed to deliver on their promise, Quebec sent over a bunch of builders, lead by their best architect, Jean-Calude Vuitton in order to build London City Airport near the new Buckingham Palace as a punishment for George III reneging on his promise.

George III was so terrified of the prosepect of an airport near his new house that he gave Jean-Claude and his men all the baguettes and bottles of wine for all the Quebecers.


They were supposed to distribute the wine to the Quebecers, but they were confused and thought that all the wine was theirs. After feeling as if they betrayed their fellow Qubecers, Vuitton and his men decided to build the airport anyway, however, they were so drunk at this stage that they ended up building the airport in the wrong place.

The original headphones are still on display at “The Museum of Weird and Unusal Canadian History" in North Sydney, Nova Scotia


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