helping one another

This sheep dog is covered in his own blood after fighting off wolves protecting his flock, while the sheep gently comforts him.

Regardless of how physically strong or emotionally tough someone is, showing them how much you appreciate their efforts goes a long way.

The dog is willing to die for his sheep, and the gesture of the sheep comforting him is all he needs.

Never take someone for granted who is willing to fight for you or stand by you in your time of need. Appreciate their efforts, and show them that you are grateful.

Sadly, too many turn on those who have helped with - ' What did you ever do for me ' atitude and then wonder why no one helps them in the future.

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Over the years we have all been used and abused and taken for granted. You do something nice for someone and they make it all about themselves with a ' I owe you nothing' attitude - where a simple 'Thank you' would suffice.

The gay scene is full of either TAKERS - or GIVERS - and it seems there are far more takers than there are givers and here at Hamilton Hall we hear so many stories from people who feel they have been used and taken for granted, and who feel hurt when a simply small gesture in return like saying 'thanks' is all that is needed.

So the next time you think about helping a friend or someone you know - the next time someone turns to you for help, think - 'Is this going to end well for us both or just for them' - and see what your heart feel after that.

I'd rather be thought of as an asshole, than an asshole who is now out of pocket.

Sadly in this world, Number One comes first.

Dear John:

I spent a great deal of time and effort helping a friend last year. He was thrown out by his X and had nowhere to go.

I took pity and offered for him to stay until he got his act together. He had his own room in my house, he took his time sorting himself out and 6 months later I had to throw him out as he was as abusive to me as his X had complained about and I learned the hard way EXACTLY why his X had thrown him out. Self seeking. Absolute no thought for others. Never put his hand in his pocket. Never even said thankyou and when I threw him out, all he could do was call me a cunt - after 6 months rent free and with all meals and utilities etc.

I learned the hard way that a hard luck story, usually has a reason behind it.

Tod.

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John: Had to write and tell you of this. As the gay son, it was expected of me - by my family - to fork out the money - because I was single and in a really good job - to pay for my sisters wedding. My parents - who are not wealthy by a long way - then laid down all sorts of stipulations and requirements / demands and the bills were mounting. Then I find out my sister didn't want me at her wedding as I am gay and she is afraid my Plus One might embarrass her - and I was astounded. The cheek.

So I withdrew every single penny, everything, I cancelled the flowers, photographer, wedding venue and even the caterer and the cars ( we still had 3 months before the wedding ) and I asked for all my deposits back, which I got - and I told her that the bookings can be saved if she finds the money to pay for them as I was not willing to be abused by anyone, and ESPECIALLY not by my own family.

The phone never stopped ringing after that and voicemail soon filled up with screaming parents, screaming sister and language from my Mother I had never heard before.

I made my case, told them EXACTLY why I was withdrawing and that if that's how they felt, then they can pay for the wedding as I have now booked a cruise to the Bahamas ( hugely expensive as they know ) and I shall be the other side of the world when the wedding takes place and - sadly but gladly - FUCK'EM.

I did meet with my sisters fiancé and he is a delightful man and he did say he thought my sister was very wrong and was the first fight they had had - when he voiced how wrong she was over this. She was not going to change her mind and now the Parents are having to take out loans etc. to pay for it and they are not happy with my sister as her expensive taste and waste of money has them in hock for thousands.

Not my concern. It upset and continues to upset me dearly but I WILL NOT - I REFUSE POINT BLANK, parents and sister regardless, to be treated like that by anyone.

Sean.

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John: I saw a young homeless lad outside KFC a few months ago. He begged for money as I went in and I ignored him, but I did think about him while waiting for my order and when I came out, he was still there. I handed him a tenner but did ask why he was begging.

He said for a personal reason he had argued with his parents and they had thrown him out. With a little pushing, he said he had told them he was gay and that was it - he was out. I know people say you shouldn't, but I offered him my spare room for the night, and the next day he showered and was absolutely charming, very grateful and tidied up the kitchen and was very house proud in how he tidied up.

I have a restaurant and we needed a kitchen porter, so after talking to him and making sure he knew not to fuck around, he started working for me and sleeping in my spare room, and everything has turned out really well. He works hard and is very good at his work, cleans the house and while he flirted with me one night, I made it clear that was NEVER going to happen as I DID NOT NEED THE COMPLICATION - and as he is only 17, is decades too young for me anyway.

He is very appreciative and values someone who helps him with kindness and though in return.

My friends like him and he has turned out to be an asset.

Not everyone is a bum. Not everyone takes advantage and not everyone is after all they can get.

Roger

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