just for fans - is there too much arrogance on the gay scene

Meaning of arrogance in English :

The quality of being unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you are more important than, or know more than, other people:

'He has a self-confidence that is sometimes seen as arrogance.'

If I looked like this guy here, think a certain amount of sexual arrogance is attractive, but too much and it turns narcissistic and a real turn off.

Nothing wrong with having self confidence - but when it turns inward and you see yourself as above others, then you are arrogant.

When you see yourself as better than others - and act accordingly, then you are arrogant if you talk down to them.

Anyone thinking or assuming they are better than someone else and acts in a manner to make others feel belittled, then that is arrogance.

Gay men today tend to be arrogant and thoughtless of others. Too much attitude problem - too much 'me me me ' and not enough 'coming together' and being part of a community.

Too much 'entitlement ' by individuals and groups alike. For almost 40 years John Bellamy has run various gay business's and in that 40 years has seen so much change in the gay world and not - sadly - for the better.

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I am sure a lot of you know about this site listed above.

You can upload your own porn videos of yourself and charge people a monthly subscription to view your new and regularly uploaded videos and is a great way for some to make a lot of money.

IF you work hard and have what it takes.

It is prostitution however you choose to look at it. Just not hands on.

I had a look recently and was AMAZED how much some of these guys charge - with many being between £5 and £10 a month, but there are also those who I would never - ever pay for - regardless of how hot and sexy they are as their arrogant ego demand over £20 a month upwards, and that arrogance puts me right off.

I interviewed many hundreds of world class hot guys when I ran 30PLUS ESCORTS decades ago, and almost all bar a very few were really nice guys BUT I did get - on occasions - arrogance beyond belief. Oh they were hot, sexy and had it all, but if they gave ME that kind of arrogance, what the hell would they give a client / customer ?

As the owner who ran the agency and where I am very capable of coping with guys with this kind of attitude problem;- how is anyone less confident, less brave and less aware going to cope ?

Any kind of arrogance offered to me by an escort, meant they were not used as when with a client, I wanted the client to feel special and important not unworthy because I made them feel that way. I wanted clients to come back time and time again - not be ashamed or afraid - put down and made to feel less. And why - because so many of these hot guys are actually very insecure about their looks and put others down to prop themselves up, and that immature and childish behaviour can be seen in all walks of life, all ages and all sexes. People who feel insecure like to pretend to be all together while putting others down.

How sad are they ! Besides in time things will sag, droop, get age spots and moles, will leak and dribble and like everyone else, will age and not be so hot - not so sexy - and not even looked at in bars other than a passing mention about ' Grandad over there ' - as it comes to us all if we play our cards right and live long enough.

I have always seen a client as an extension of myself, and what would I like to receive - how would I like to be treated - how would I behave if someone gave me a bad attitude. Mind you, age, maturity and wealth makes a big difference to my ability to speak up whereas decades ago I would also have been intimidated and not spoken up - and my advanced years and - ability - and - wealth - does make all the difference.

The gay scene and the ' rent scene' - where you pay for sex, has changed dramatically since my day where the gay media like Gay Times were appallingly rude and contemptuous towards those who paid them ALL their printing costs of the entire magazine each month - THE SEX WORKER ADVERTS - and yet we always got a shoddy - actually quite patronising and rude service from them, - as sex sells - and yet it is the sex that sells the magazine even though they offer such rudeness to those who pay their way.

The gay media was always an appallingly amateurish place to advertise as mistakes were common and then after they got it wrong their attitude - absolutely sucked - no apology - nothing.

That was largely how much of the gay media worked towards those they are in business for - THE GAY MARKET - and yet the resentment and nastiness offered to their advertisers was astounding.

Hence I limit my advertising to online and very rarely advertise in the printed form and then, they better be polite and nice to me or I take my money elsewhere and these days, adverts in the printed magazines are few as for the same money as a monthly advert, buys a full year online and at the end of the month the magazine is thrown away whereas the web links are valid all year.

Not all, but many who work for the gay media, assume they are working on the Times or something.

There is absolutely no support between LGBT organisations - just resentment.

There is no ' working together for the common good' - there is just ' what can I get out of this .' - and that whole ideal destroys - it does not build and is why - when invited and when I saw how the other gay business owners in Bournemouth all bitched and fought between themselves, that I decided not to join their association,- and where are they now - ALL GONE - NOT A SINGLE ONE LEFT who were here when I arrived and opened. All closed - some because they were sick of dealing with the gay world - some took the money from Covid and fled - while others closed because they were simply not supported by the very 'community' they were trying to aim their business towards.

I have seen at least 15 gay and LGBT venues open and close in Bournemouth since I have been here and many do not even last 6 months - one season, and the gay community - such as it is - shoots itself in the foot all the time and then wonder why venues close - as owners get sick of the attitude problems.

After the '3 IN A BED' programme where i shone - i could have been arrogant afterwards instead, I was humbled - absolutely humbled, at how others saw my actions and sent their best wishes and congratulations. I am always humbled that ' little old me' can achieve what i do and for no other reason other than I can and do have support and help from others along the way. Not through arrogance, but to fill a need, in me and for others, through love and helping and not through arrogance.