Selling sex, should I do it full or part time.
John: I have read all about you online and hope you do not mind me asking - I know that you were a successful prostitute many years ago and I was wondering - what you would think to this,.
I have been doing part time massage / sex work for 2 years now while working full time as a store manager. I am tempted to give up my work and go full time into massage / sex work. Is this, in your opinion, a good idea John.
No it is not.
Stay working full time - pay your tax and insurance, keep a ' normal' existence in the real world - and stay part time as a masseur.
This is me back in my middle 30's when I was gym fit 3 times a week and earning more money each year than Hamilton Hall has ever taken, and that is not allowing for inflation and yes, my hair was black once upon a time... )
The sex industry can and does suck you in and chew you up and blow you out in bubbles - destroyed - and I have seen and witnessed too many people who assume they know it all and can cope, and the truth is, after a couple of years as full time sex workers they are fucked:-
1) Fucked financially :- They have spent the lot on drugs, holidays, fast cars and clothes and showing off to their friends and very few actually are responsible and pay a mortgage and invest wisely.
2) Fucked sexually :- They have enjoyed a good and in control sex life and in the real world you will be very disappointed with crap sex, and where many sex workers want the exact opposite of the service they were offering but find it hard to find and so - will end up being very disappointed at sex outside of the business.
3) Fucked up emotionally :- After years of being a sex worker and not allowing your emotions to get the better of you, as you cannot start falling in love with clients, and any boyfriend will have a real hard time with you having sex with strange men, even if for money - and it can become a very emotionally lonely place and any relationship you have in the future is fraught with problems BECAUSE of your past.
4) Fucked because of all the lies you have told :- Family often are kept in the dark as to how you earn your money as many would be horrified - and so is kept a secret and lying creates disharmony within at a time when the sex worker needs support in a very hard and dangerous business. You HAVE to learn how to 'off load' after tricky clients and see the funny side and have understanding friends you can share with and laugh with and ' down load' any problems you are having in order to stay sane and keep it together. Without that ability to vent - can cause intense and deep seated emotional and mental health problems and more sex workers end their time as sex workers with nothing - no money - no friends and no future.
And what do you do with all the money you have saved - legally - can be really hard.
You also have to put up with jealous resentful envious faggots who hate you for what you are doing as they would LOVE to do the same but may not have the body, the dick, the right mental aptitude and will slag you off and berate you as scum and low life and my answer was always - 'Maybe dear - maybe TO YOU I am scum, but I earned anything up to 5 times a year more than many in full time employment - so who is laughing last .... '
and at the end of the day, we all work for money - PERIOD.
I could go on for hours but the point it, stay in your full time job.
Stay on the straight and narrow.
Work in your spare time as a masseur / sex worker and then you have a balance between the two and there is no imbalance that causes the problems.
I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear but from one who was the longest and probably one of the most successful gay sex workers around - ( long retired ) very VERY few survive long term as I did and many MANY end up worse off than when they started their life as a prostitute and for every successful one like myself who used it as a business to get from A to B - MANY are left fucked up. BIG TIME.
I went self employed as a Masseur - legally. Had a business name. Business bank accounts. Took credit card DECADES before PayPal and NO OTHER SEX WORKER IN THE UK at that time - took credit cards so was a MAJOR boost to my business in those days. I had a book keeper and accountant - invested my income in property, and again, all legal and above board, and other than 3 times out of tens of thousands - didn't get paid - ( so - BIG DEAL HUH ! ) I was never threatened with violence, never beaten up, never harassed other than thousands of abusive phone calls - and rarely got ' no shows' as I took credit card confirmations and that guaranteed the client was real.
I also created around me a good circle of friends, most who were also sex workers on the agency I ran - and we supported each other if and when help and advise was ever needed and most of all, to be able to laugh at clients behind their backs and in order to see the funny side of some appalling things and stay - kind of - sane;- needs understanding friends to share the madness with. It took me at least a year after I left the business to have a wank on my own and not wonder how much I was earning, and every time I had sex after that, BOY it was different and often, not as good and not as exciting and when at the end I was not financially better off, - ha ha - it did take me a while to adapt to having sex for my own sake and not someone else's.
Stay working Robert and stay sane.
Oh and remember people, YOU ARE A TYPICAL CLIENT.
EVERY man from 18 - 90 is a typical client. Fat -- thin - hairy - smooth - handsome - ugly - hung or not - EVERY SINGLE MAN IS A TYPICAL CLIENT and they ARE NOT all fat old men and not all desperate for sex and not all unable to get it elsewhere - at all - and the illusion in your head of what a sex worker does /offers and what a typical client looks like IS ALL WRONG.
So the next time you have an attitude about sex workers, just remember YOU are a typical client and chances are, the sex worker will consider you boring sexually - and will forget all about you the minute you leave the door. and whatever arrogance and attitude you may have about the sex worker, is just so misplaced - as the healing - the joy - the happiness and the draining of societies loins created by sexual frustration - is enormously beneficial to society as a whole. More than you can ever imagine.
The one thing I am asked if - ' What do you miss the most from being a sex worker' -
1) The money
2) Tons of good sex
3) Sexually being in control.
BUT THE ONE THING I DO NOT MISS - Those who have smelly, cheesy, dribbly dicks with tight foreskins that do not retract and smell real bad. Sadly, there are too many men with this problem and too many men simply do not clean themselves adequately and their parents really should have taught them as children about keeping their foreskin clean and if too tight, which is a common problem, get it sorted out medically.
I LOVE foreskins, and I was cut ( circumcised ) as a baby and do not have that problem but I actually prefer uncut willy BUT - if it smells, dribbles or has a foreskin hiding unknowns underneath, I am NOT about to put my mouth anywhere near - thank you.
John: I have been a prostitute for 4 years now and I see on average 8 punters a week. It pays the bills. In fact, it does more than pay the bills. I have wonderful nice clients and one who is severely disabled who is delighted I am not offended and am not repulsed at his disabilities. I take time to be with each client above and beyond the hour they pay and this makes all the difference. I love my work and admire you for sharing so publicly how you were ' in the business' and even on TV with it all, so well done you.
John I was one of your clients many moons ago - probably late 80's - I worked as a cabin crew for BA and lived near Gatwick and visited you several dozen times - or more - and used your agency tons of times as well. I remember you always made me laugh and relaxed and showed me time and consideration with my nerves. You were always so kind to me. And I am not forgetting your incredible cock. ha ha ... Funny the things we remember. Always knew you would do well after leaving the sex industry. Always knew you were destined for more. Eddie
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