Simply Divine
The phone rang.
'Hello, Can I help you ?' I said as my usual greeting as a sex worker to up to 150 phone calls a day.
'Yes. I saw your advert in Gay Times, can you tell me about your massage service please.'
I answered with my usual patter that I had repeated tens of thousands of times before.
'I am 6'1" - short dark hair, clean shaven, handsome, slim and well toned athletic physique, smooth skinned and suntanned and hung around 9 cut thick.' I offer a full body service with shower and refreshments fully inclusive at one set price, I do not charge extras, and the charge is £60 per hour. '
This was around 1987 - 88 ish...
He asked a few more questions and then asked if I minded because he was fat.
I answered that that was no problem at all.
He answered that he was actually VERY fat.
I again said that was not a problem.
He then said -
' You may know who I am, I am Divine.'
To which I answered how I thought I was actually Divine and he laughed and made an appointment.
A few hours later the door bell rang and I went and opened the door to be greeted by this tall ( I would have thought at least 6 foot ) HUGE man standing there in a full length fur coat and I instantly laughed and said
' Oh a grizzly bear... ' and he laughed and came in.
As he undressed I asked him what I should call him and he answered -
'Well most people call me Divvi or Divine :- - - - but my name is Glen.'
After a few seconds I said
' In that case, if it's alright with you, I'll call you --- Glen - Glen.'
There was a few seconds pause which seemed to stretch forever as he considered for a moment before slowly saying
' Thank you., I really appreciate that.'
You see - I didn't want to get caught up in the ' He's Famous' bullshit and calling him by his stage name as he was not on stage here, he was just anther client and his name was Glen so that's what I called him. I would not then be in awe and intimidated by him as many MANY are around famous people. Little do people realise that rich and famous people are just as nervous, just as afraid, just as intimidated and just as apprehensive as any of us and some hide that behind an arrogance of fame, which gets them absolutely nowhere in my books, or like Divine, he was a normal human being first, a world famous man second and by using his name , I touched on the man and not the persona the public see.
Anyway - he laid on my massage table and - quite literally - hung off the sides even though it was a large table.
Now - any of us could lay on that same massage table and have at least 6 - 8 inches on either side to lay our arms - whereas Diving filled the table from side to side and each side came up under his shoulders so no room for his arms and hands anywhere, so I tucked his hands in under his - er - front- and this held them in place. I am often asked how you massage someone as huge as this and the answer is - you cannot. You can - but most of your energy and strength is wasted getting through to the muscle through 4 -10 inches of fat - and it does cripple the hands . So I put a lovely large bath towel all over him that had been on the radiator so was lovely and warm and he groaned straight away saying how pleasant that was. I then used my deep tissue vibrator designed to really get into the muscle as it vibrated really quite deeply, and using that - he enjoyed a full body vibration that he loved and kept moaning all the way through with pleasure.
He asked about a few things that were not ' on the menu' simply because I was not sure how - how one would manage with someone quite so huge, and he was quite happy with a full body massage with a happy ending... ( balloons and all... )
I actually had a fuck sex room elsewhere in my home and I know if he knew I had this, he would have enjoyed it more than the massage but to be honest, it meant going into a huge attic and up a ladder and I doubted he would get through the hole in the ceiling the ladder took you through into my fully equipped dungeon ( attic ) sex room, so by playing dumb, he didn't even know.
I saw him quite a few times over the next month or so - as long as he was in the UK on tour, and we became friends as I knew the town he came from in the USA I had been there and I remember it because it was the first time I had ever seen those flowering cauliflowers you have in the garden throughout the winter months for colour, and he laughed and knew what I was talking about.
Some time later I received a letter from Los Angeles - and inside was a papercutting from the LA Evening Press and it was a large picture of Divine with the Director of the movie he was making at the time and over the picture he had written
'To Michael John - Love Divine XXX ' and the sad thing was, it arrived a week after it was announced on the news that Divine had died - and while I was sad at the news of his death, to receive something posted by his own hands a week or so after he died, and the newspaper involved was dated the evening he died... was an extra punch in the guts. I laughingly tell the story that we went out to post the letter to me and went back to the hotel and found the elevator was out - so climbed up many stories of stairs and had a heart attack and died, so I KILLED DIVINE...
No not really, but it was the evening paper for the night he died - and I did received it a week after his death, and it did hit home and I did cry.
Bless him. I only knew him for around 3 months and saw him quite a few times and we always shared a laugh and I never asked him about the time he eat dog shit - the thing that made him a household name within a select community who loved his early films - the gay crowd - and I respected his time as Glen and not Divine.
You can read all about him HERE
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Thanks John. Loved the piece you wrote on Divine. Very moving and thoughtful. Vic.
I knew Divine back in the day. He was a bit of a nut job and a bit crazy and there were times when he was out of control but on the whole was a very charming normal man. Just like the rest of us except he was head and shoulders and about 400lb heavier than most of us. He is still remembered and loved. Richard.
