some people take advantage - or try to.

I am often asked about what it is like to run a gay mens venue and I always say the same, how it is the best - and the worst - job in the land.

The best part, is working for yourself.

The best part is - Serving our own gay community - meeting so many wonderful people.

The worst part - The gay media is shit - arrogant condescending assholes. The worst part - Serving the gay community.

We do meet so many absolutely wonderful people who make the daily job so much fun and the laughter shared and the appreciation shared, is wonderful. These are the people it is not like work - it is like having friends staying.

Then there are those who use us as a hotel like they would a Holiday Inn or a Hilton - they do not want to talk with the staff or anyone else, they sit and pretend they are in isolation and considering they are sitting at one big table where conversation is easy to allow, some are ' off hand' and have missed the point of Hamilton Hall completely - and besides this being a sign not only of their own loss, but their own fear of intimacy. It could also be a sign of arrogance, that they consider themselves above us all and will have little to do with us accordingly, and this attitude makes me giggle. It says so much about them they simply do not get.

It could also be a sign of shyness, and if sat at a table with others they cannot think of a single thing to say or ask, then that really is pathetic and they need to own it.

Mostly - we get normal polite and friendly people and we share a really good laugh.

Then there are the e mails. You would be astounded by the requests we receive and here below, this morning, this came through - and have a read and see my answer below...

:Hiya, I am looking for a hotel in bournemouth for an approx 12 week stay, and do a service which is sure to get you some extra bookings. I offer a dark room service - the guy comes into my room, it's darked out and I wear a dark skin suit from waist up, nothing else. He can share some time with me at my prices. I don't mingle in the hotel as it is a discreet thing, mostly for the curious. There's never been any money between me and a hotel other than the room price. So if you have a long term weekly rate and are into this arrangement just let me know. No problem if it's a no and I dont need any reason why. In essence I am just looking for a weekly rate, and letting you know what I'd be doing in advance so there's no unwanted surprises. Thanks, James.

MY ANSWER:

So let me get this right. You want to use my hotel as a brothel to see your punters in and only pay the hotel price. Think you need to re examine your thoughts here James.

I would normally charge £1,400 a month BB&EM for a long term guest but if a sex worker is to be seeing clients here it would be £4,000 a month – or £1,000 a week, as I would expect extra monies for all the extra people in and out and you using my venue as a brothel.

If I was going to put my venue into that kind of place then at least I would expect a decent return on my investment.

I was also the UK’s longest and most successful gay sex worker – WAY BEYOND WHAT YOU ARE PLAYING AT IN A HOTEL BEDROOM DEAR - so amateurish dear – so amateurish - so I know the business inside out and had my own FULL DUNGEON FOR 15 YEARS - and know damned well you do NOT expect to use a hotel as a brothel to turn tricks in and not pay the hotel a decent remittance for their trouble and NOT the standard hotel fee.

The option is all yours. £1,000 a week, CASH UP FRONT - or bugger off, grow up, realise how dumb your request is and how offensive this would be in many circles and how lucky you are I am not offended in any way but do think you are extremely naïve – OR JUST TRYING IT ON - in your request.

You know my price and you know it will come with restrictions and rules and as the most experienced ( retired ) gay sex worker in the country, I would keep an eye on you to make sure you were not just some cheap tacky whore – as THAT would NOT go down well, cheap and tacky… has never been my way of offering a service to a client or a guest but somehow, I get the feeling that that is exactly the service you would offer, cheap and tacky.

Prove me wrong.

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You do have to laugh at the audacity, the cheek of this guy. It did and does make me laugh each time I re read his e mail and my response. It's how he feels he could be doing me a favour that astounds me, when the truth would be the other way round... I would be doing HIM the favour - and he absolutely thinks it is the other way round. Laughable - absolutely laughable, and sad that he is that delusional.

Assuming no money would be paid to the hotel for him to run his sex business out of a hotel room and all he wants to pay is the minimum hotel costs involved - I assume for B&B. Outrageous.

I find it hard to believe that anyone could be that dumb, that stupid, that naïve in expecting anyone to accept such a deal.

I earned in excess of £1,500 per week over 25 years ago as a sex worker, every week, all year - because I offered a genuinely top 5 star gold service and had thousands of repeat clients from all over the world - much as I do here at Hamilton Hall - and never - ever - offered anything that was cheap and tacky and we all know of various cheap and tacky gay mens hotels ' up north' that would probably oblige, but certainly not at Hamilton Hall.

This is Bournemouth not Blackpool. ( giggle )

It astounds that this fool read my web site and assumes it is okay to be just that - cheap and tacky, as that is exactly what his e mail indicates and exactly the sort of service this man will offer. He wants all the money for himself while I provide all the facilities and THAT MY DEAR JAMES, IS TAKING ADVANTAGE - or at least trying to, except I was not born yesterday and as for him saying it could improve bookings - GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU IDIOT, this guys proves over and over again how and why there are so many people in the sex industry WHO SHOULD NOT BE as he hasn't got the intelligence to do things right and all he is and all he will ever be is a cheap tacky whore - a victim - a taker - user - pays no tax while taking the money and expects others to tolerate and provide facilities so he can take take take and not offer anything back in return.

Typical fuck up.

I knew he would not take me up on the £1,000 a week and I could have made it any amount as I would - UNDER NO WAY AT ALL - have the likes of this man in my building offering such a cheap and tacky service - NO WAY AT ALL - as cheap and tacky has never been my way and style - of all sorts, doesn't take much - doesn't cost much and yet it seems is all some people know. Cheap and tacky.

Nothing wrong with cheap and tacky.

Nothing wrong at all.

It's just not my way of doing things and those who assume all sex workers offer the same kind of service - ARE WRONG - VERY WRONG - and there is a lot for you to learn if you do.

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THE OLDEST PROFESSION: The oldest profession has always been seen as prostitution. WRONG:

The oldest profession is more likely KNAPPING.

Making flint spear heads for arrows and spears etc.

NOT PROSTITUTION AT ALL.

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