Some summer funnies:

Life is too short to me miserable. Even in lockdown there are many instances where we can laugh. If you choose to be a miserable old bastard you can be and see where it gets you.

If you choose - while getting on with life's ups and downs - to see the funny side and laugh and smile and laugh some more - you can easily find someone or something to laugh at, and life is so much better.





Here are some quickies for you below.

Teacher:- How old is your Father ? Kid:- He is 6 years old. Teacher:- What ? How is that possible ?~

Kid:- He became a Father only when I was born.


Teacher :- Maria, Go to the map and show us where North America is. Maria:- Here it is. Teacher:- Correct. Now class - Who discovered America ? Class:- Maria did.


Teacher:- Glenn, how do you spell Crockodile ? Glenn :- K-R-O-K-O-D-I-L-E Teacher:- No Glenn, that's incorrect. Glenn:- Maybe it is wrong but you asked how I spell it.


Teacher:- Donald, What is the chemical formula for water ? Donald:- H I J K L M N O

Teacher:- What are you talking about.

Donald:- Yesterday you said it was H to O


Teacher:- Clyde, your composition on ' My Dog' is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his ? Clyde:- No sir, it's the same dog.

------------------------------- Teacher:- Harold. What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested ? Harold:- A Teacher. ( ha ha - how about politicians - and probably your X lover... )


Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?

Student: To be honest, not really.


Teacher: Why have you got cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?

Student: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in!


Student: Would you punish me for something I did not do?

Teacher: Of course I would not do that.

Student: Great, because I did not do my homework.


Teacher: Didn’t I just tell you to stand at the end of the line?

Student: Well, I tried, but there was someone there already.


What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

Lots of blood tests.


My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us

She used to say “you shall not pass”


How is an English teacher like a judge?

They both give out sentences. And they both judge you standing there.


Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.

Student: Life imprisonment!


What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?