things to amuse.
SCROOLL DOWN FOR A TON OF ONE LINERS
Louisa McKinney stopped by a Dollar Tree to pick up some wrapping paper for some birthday gifts. While there, she spotted an elderly man approach a young woman in the store for some help. He told the woman he needed help picking out a special birthday card. So they walked over to that aisle and the woman did all the bending and reaching for the man.

The woman then asked the man who the card was for so she could better determine which cards to reach for. And this was his response: โItโs for me. If I wake up tomorrow, Iโll be 85. My wife wanted to get me something, but sheโs very sick and cannot leave the house, and I want her to know I got a birthday card from her.โ
Louisa then overhead the man tell the woman helping him facts about himself and the love of his life. They met as kids and were married when they were just teenagers. The military soon called him to war, and his wife worried all the time about his safety. But she was there for him when he returned, and they raised some children, and their love grew stronger.
The woman helping the man pick out a card was a small act of kindness. It also was an act of kindness on the manโs part to make his wife happy with the card. Louisa overheard one other thing, as she, by this time, was fully tuned in to the story. The woman who helped the man owns a restaurant, and she promised him that when his wife was able to get out of the house for a while, dinner was on her.
------------------------------------

"Why are you making a fool out of me? Where are the contracts??" Putin whines that there is not a single order for Russian-made passenger aircraft for 2023. Vova Bunker makes a surprised face on camera, as if he does not understand why the Russian aviation industry is in such a situation, trying to shift responsibility to the government and ministers, as if they were to blame for the sanctions that the West imposed in response to Putin's invasion of Ukraine. The title of the โIdiot of the Yearโ goes to Vladimir Putin.
-----------------------------------------
During a prank, a student stuck a paper on his classmate's back that said "๐'๐บ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ฑ", and asked the rest of the class not to tell the boy.
Thus the students began laughing on and off...
Came afternoon math class started and their teacher wrote a difficult question on the board.
No one was able to answer it except the boy with the sticker.
Amid the unexplained giggles, he walked toward the board and solved the problem.
The teacher asked the class to clap for him and remove the paper on his back.
She told him: "It seems that you donโt know about the paper your classmate has pasted on your back."
Then the teacher looked at the rest of the class and said:
"Before I give you a punishment, let me tell you 2 things:
First, throughout your Life, people will put labels on you with many nasty words to stop your progress.
Had your classmate known about the paper, he wouldn't have gotten up to answer the question.
๐๐น๐น ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ด๐ป๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ผ๐ฝ๐น๐ฒ ๐ด๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ฒ๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐๐ป๐ถ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป, ๐ด๐ฟ๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ."
"Second, itโs clear that he doesn't have any loyal friend among you all to tell him about the sticker.
It doesn't matter how many friends you have - it is the loyalty you share with your friends that matters.
๐๐ณ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ป'๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ, ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐, ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ผ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐, ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐น๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ."
----------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? โI want you inside me.โ
Give it to me! Give it to me!โ she yelled. โIโm so wet, give it to me now! โShe could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.โ
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. โThe police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.โ
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
Related: Dirty Jokes To Say To Your Girlfriend
Iโll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. โMy girlfriend lives forty miles away.โ
Whoโs the most popular guy at the nudist colony? โThe one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.โ
Whatโs the difference between kinky and perverted? โKinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.โ
A husband says to his wife, I bet you canโt tell me something that will make me happy and sad both at the same time. โShe thinks about it for a moment and then responds, โYour penis is bigger than your brotherโs.โ
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, โHoney, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means? โThe boyfriend says, โYeah, it means the drain is clogged again.โ
How do you make a pool table laugh? โTickle its balls.โ
Why canโt you hear rabbits making love? โBecause they have cotton balls.โ
If you were born in September, itโs pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
A naked man broke into a church. โThe police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.โ
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? โHe couldnโt budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.โ
Why did the sperm cross the road? โBecause I put on the wrong sock this morning.โ
An old woman walked into a dentistโs office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. โThe dentist said, โI think you have the wrong room.โ โYou put in my husbandโs teeth last week,โ she replied. โNow you have to remove them.โ
Why does a mermaid wear seashells? โBecause she outgrew her B-shells!โ
What do you do when your catโs dead? โPlay with the neighborโs pussy instead.โ
What is Moby Dickโs dadโs name? โPapa Boner.โ
What did the leper say to the sex worker? โKeep the tip.โ
Related: Chuck Norris Jokes | Dirty
What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? โA beaver dam!โ
What do a penis and a Rubikโs Cube have in common? โThe more you play with it, the harder it gets.โ
What do you get when you jingle Santaโs balls? โA white Christmas!โ
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, โDamn, I wish I had a flashlight!โ The woman says, โMe too, youโve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!โ
HOME PAGE
BLOG HOME PAGE
copyright ยฉ 2022 Hamilton Hall Productions.
All rights reserved.
TO BE DELETED FROM OUR SYSTEM
Return this e mail with
PLEASE DELETE
Our mailing address is
Hamilton Hall Hotel
1 Carysfort Road
Bournemouth
Dorset BH14EJ
www.hamiltonhall.info
gaymen@hamiltonhall.info
Info@hamiltonhall.info