Trump Odds and Ends
I love Trump. He is always guaranteed to make me laugh, sadly though and not because he means to be funny but because he seems determined to destroy democracy and destroy America. He is a comedians best friend as there is just so much to choose from to take the piss out of...
Now - where shall we start with Boris.... scroll down
BREAKING: The judge in the E. Jean Carroll civil suit against Trump has just announced that the personal info of jurors will be safeguarded, and additional security measures implemented to ensure their protection, due to Trump's RECORD of ATTACKING the legal system.
“Mr. Trump’s quite recent reaction to what he perceived as an imminent threat of indictment by a grand jury sitting virtually next door to this Court was to encourage ‘protest’ and to urge people to ‘take our country back.’ That reaction reportedly has been perceived by some as incitement to violence,”
Judge Kaplan wrote. A judge is literally saying that Trump's attacks on the Judiciary branch are so dangerous that it requires special measure be put in place to protect those doing their civic duty. What does that say about Donald J. Trump as a man, much less a presidential candidate?
What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
Snow White Supremacist.
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail. They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!”
Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.”
The little boy says, “actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.”
What does Trumps hair and a thong have in common?
They both barely cover the asshole.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned in towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So, the Pope slapped him.
Boris at the Bank
Boris Johnson walks into a Bank
He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"