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When was your melt down moment ?

Talking with a girlfriend I went to school with - she stated that she was having mental health issues during this last Covid lockdown periods and although still teaching music ' on line' - so still getting an income and keeping busy - she had never exhibited or been aware before of any kind of mental health and this was new for her.

It made me stop and think as - we all have mental health in some form or another as we have all had a panic attack - been anxious - depressed , stressed and afraid at one point or another throughout our lives - and these are all mild symptoms of mental health - or a strain on your capabilities emotionally and mentally. All of us at some time during this last Covid period has felt as if we were loosing the plot, becoming a little vacant - loosing your temper over the simplest thing or even just withdrawing and being quiet - and mental health hits us all in very many different ways and it is nothing to worry about - as it affects us all. I had a moment in the park last year when an 'entitled women' told me ( she didn't ask nicely ) to ' PUT YOUR DOG ON A LEASH.' and when I asked why - she exclaimed ' BECAUSE I TOLD YOU TO.'

Oh looking back I now see it as funny that she thought she could offer that kind of attitude to ANYONE let alone a gobby queen like me who does not take prisoners.

I let her have it full barrels - I didn't swear at her but did ask who the hell she thought she was to be so arrogant and entitled. I went a bit overboard and even at the time there was a part of me - inside - shouting from within ' SHUT THE FUCK UP ' but I was in full flow and nothing was going to stop me - and after - I felt awful and haven't forgotten it.

Covid and mental health - being shut in, afraid, not knowing what is happening, mixed messages from B-B-B-B-Boris absolutely just adds to the stress and confusion and we all see, hear and witness a global phenomenon going on and we feel helpless - we have lost control of our own lives - as much as we had some kind of control, and many feel lost in a world going mad. Christmas is on, then off, then on again, then off again...aaahhhh It feels sometimes as if we are being led by a pack of fools, idiots, morons when in 24 hours things change dramatically as if they had no idea change was coming. So whatever your problem may have been and as much as you may feel you are loosing the plot - stick with it and we shall see you the other side when this all comes to some kind of agreeable end.

If at any time it all gets just too much for you - we are here, we understand, we are very understanding of where you are at and we shall always be here for you. If you genuinely cannot afford a visit, have a chat with me - John Bellamy - and we shall see what we can offer as a few free days away to offer some hope - some guidance and some joy for the future. Just knowing someone is there, sometimes, is all it takes.

On the mean time, we are here for you throughout.

John Bellamy


Your comments:

John: I lost it today. Some fucking woman in Waitrose assuming the world evolved around her and just pushed past assuming the queue at the till did not mean she had to queue and several people tried telling her and she wasn't having it and that 'entitled attitude' disgusts me. So I dragged her trolley away from her as she screamed and wailed and the whole shop watched as I dragged her trolley to the back of the queue and told her to queue like everyone else and stop being such a self centred and thoughtless asshole, and a couple of people - loudly - applauded and cheered me. I felt awful though and she actually left the store without buying her things, so win win... she would have to go somewhere else and shop all over again and with so little consideration for others - FUCK YOU LADY.' Joe F.


I lost it with a movie John. Couldn't stop crying. The film was really sad and I could feel the emotion swelling within me and when it burst out I just couldn't stop crying. Not for the film as that had ended and I was just this blubbering mess. I think all the stress and strain of the last year just came to the surface and I needed to have that cry and the film was the catalyst to start the floods. After about 30 minutes, I felt exhausted but so much better.

Enjoy a good cry, it releases all sorts of things that will make you feel better afterwards.

John C.


I lost it with my room mate. We share a 2 bedroomed flat with no outdoor balcony and on the 12th floor. We have stunning views over London but when you are shut up in a small box high up, it is a prison regardless of the view. I lost it with him after he just kept eating all the food we had in and he was not the one risking going shopping, I was, and I was not about to keep feeding his fat ugly face if he was not willing to go shopping and get the supplies we needed. So I barked. I then allowed the food to run low until he HAD to go shopping and guess what he did - he bought enough food for himself and not one else, - that being me - so he was given his marching orders to move out at the end of the month as I was not about to take his selfish attitude any longer. He didn't get it though, thick as shit.

He complained he had nowhere to go and as I stated, when abusing your landlord / flatmate - it comes with consequences and when a bad attitude is offered repeatedly - and where I do not have to take it - he is out and that is all of his own making.

I am not here top be abused by morons who think their have some rights or something. Pip.

John: Had to share this with you.

I watched one or two of the videos on YouTube you sent through with your weekly Blog John and there was one of animals asking for humans help and I sat there and just bawled my eyes out. It all welled up inside me and I realised I was sobbing for something much more than the video and while I looked a mess, I felt so much better afterwards. So much better. It actually did me good to let it all out and I realized it had been waiting inside for a long time and was why I was feeling angry. Philip.





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