DATING A MUCH OLDER MAN
It's a different world than when I was 16. I am glad to be older - glad to be more mature - glad to have lived through the birth, the life and now the coming death, of the gay scene.
If you've decided that you’d like a finely aged wine, instead of a can of larger, then maybe it’s time you considered dating an older man.
When I was 16 my first lover was 42 and we lived together for over 8 years. There are many benefits to dating older men that you may have over looked.
However:- My lover at 16 - being 26 years older than myself at 42 - I can now look back and say he
' DIDN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE'.
As a 16 year old back in 1971, I was very naive compared to today. At 16 I had no idea what the word gay meant ( just happy ) and knew absolutely nothing at all about sex - as there was no porn, no mags, no education, nothing at all for a kid of 16 to learn from, so I learned from my older man lover, but looking back - he was a dip shit - a wonderful educated man - a kind and thoughtful man but when it came to thinking about me - as far as how to treat - how to behave - how to guide a young lover decades younger than himself - how to be a good role model - or even a Father figure. Absolutely useless.
( Here I am in my early 30's so you can imagine how at 16 , I was a dish...)
I was suppose to just move in and get on as if I knew the rules, knew what to do and knew how a relationship between two men worked, and he was useless at guiding me on that journey and I often felt abaondoned by him while inside of a relationship.
I was extremly lucky as he was a wonderful man, just in so many ways he didn't have a clue. Innocently - not on purpose, but I was often hurt by his thoughtlessness but then, as an older man, he had tons of things on his mind I was completely unaware of at 16 that now - as the older man myself, - I get - I understand and appreciate now, why and where he was at, in all ways. Shame he didn't think to include me in that as I now look back and realise I was always - ALWAYS - even then - destined to be light years ahead of him in so many ways. So many ways. Not out of arrogance, just the truth.
Older men bring a lot more to the table and many younger guys are in search of the security an older man can offer.
They are better at sex. ( sometimes ) and can teach a youngster a lot.
They are not in such a hurry to 'cum' - and enjoy the journey.
They can only 'cum' once a night.
They own their own home.
They own their own car but don't like driving at night.
They are usually fairly well off financially.
They have learned not to trust young men with their money.
They remember when Bare Backing was the norm and pre HIV.
They remember side cars on motorbikes.
We remember actors from decades ago and realise hot hot they were.
They remember when policemen were friendly and polite and everyone knew and saw and spoke to the local bobby on his beat.
Older generations remember the Police using blue Panda Cars.
They survived the HIV pandemic of the 80's and 90's.
They are no ones fool.
They witnessed gay life going from illegal under 21 - to legal over 16.
They use long words and can spell them.
They have had all their shots.
They stand up to bullies.
They remember Petra being the first TV pet on Blue Peter in 1962.
They remember the early Gay Pride Marches which had a powerful political theme demanding change.
They remember the gay community when it really was a gay community, unlike today.
Their personalities have been fine tuned.
They cannot walk as fast or as far.
They remember Lulu in her hay day.
They get exactly what they want, if a little slower.
They know where everything is in Tesco.
They canot see as far without their glasses.