top of page

After the election, here's something fun.

The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio:

"Airbus, boring flight, isn’t it? Look at what I can do!"


He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, what do you think about that?"


The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?


Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"


The Airbus pilot laughs and says:

"I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."


The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seem to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important. This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, and Smarter.


----------------------

The Wonders of Nature : The Lighthouse Survivor



The picture you can see above was taken in 1999 by Jean Guichard. It shows a lighthouse called Phare dans la Tempête completely swallowed by a giant wave. Interestingly, the name of this lighthouse located on the northwest coast of France translates to “Lighthouse in a storm,” which is exactly what’s portrayed on the picture.

The man standing outside the lighthouse is Theodore Malgorne, a lighthouse keeper who patiently waited for rescue while his colleagues were sitting safely inside the structure. Luckily, no one was hurt and the lighthouse itself wasn’t damaged. In fact, it still stands today !



-----------------------------


Charles, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.



One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.

"Charles, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."


"Yes sir, I know, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear.”


“Yes sir, I understand your concern and I’ll try harder.”

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment,

“It's odd though you're coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?"


The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin,

"They usually saluted and said:


"Good morning General, can I get your coffee sir?"


--------------------


An old friend of mine long ago called John - who had ran a children's charity he started more than 40 previously, and after he retired worked part time in John Lewis in the fabric department.


After his first 3 month period, his young manager called him into his office for his first 3 month work assessment, and the manager pulled out a folder with one piece of paper inside, and went through a few points concerning John's work.


After - the manager said that John could go back to work now and John pulled out his own folder which was 30 - 40 pages thick, and pointed out that a staff assessment can go both ways, and he was now going to asses the manager at how well he considered HIS work to have been facilitated.


John brought up many aspects of bad management from this very manager and how when busy with customers, the manager would just stand and watch and never - ever - offer to assist and if he did offer - this would give a faster and better service to the customers, yet clearly the manager thought it was beneath him to help and this was not good for customer service and not good for staff morale.

John pointed out a ton of other things that the manager - with his degree in business management - was getting wrong - and eventually - embarrassed - asked John for advice and input on how he could improve in each of the areas he had spoken about - and the old retired man was teaching the young upstart - full of degrees - how to do his job better.

John went on for some time helping this manager become better at his job - being more thoughtful towards his staff and customers and things improved.


Respecting your elders is always beneficial especially in the work place as there is nothing better than experience and you may have all the university degrees but without experience, you are as much use as a used condom.


-------------------------


One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,


" Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?


"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)


"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.


"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."

"For reading a book"? she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."


"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.


MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.


Sure, God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!!”


-----------------------

THE OSTRICH.


A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says,

"A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same." says the ostrich.


A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please.”

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke please.”

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."


Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.


"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad." says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."


Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"


"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"


"That's right. Whether it's a liter of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there." says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"


The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”


-------------------------------





copyright © 2023

Hamilton Hall Productions.

All rights reserved.


TO BE DELETED FROM OUR SYSTEM

Return this e mail with

PLEASE DELETE OH HANDSOME ONE...


Our mailing address is

Hamilton Hall Hotel

1 Carysfort Road

Bournemouth

Dorset BH14EJ



Comments


Featured Posts
Check back soon
Once posts are published, you’ll see them here.
Recent Posts
Archive
Search By Tags
No tags yet.
Follow Us
  • Facebook Basic Square
  • Twitter Basic Square
  • Google+ Basic Square
bottom of page