don't mess with the old - they have hidden talents.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS ( tax ) office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”

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A blond driving her car over the speed limit is pulled over by a blond police lady.

“ You were driving 20 miles over the speed limit. Can I see your driving license?”

The driver looks in her purse, can’t find the driver’s licence

'What does it look like ?'

'It is the size of a credit card and has your photo on it.'

The driver finds her make up mirror looks in it. It has her picture so hands it over to the officer.

The officer looks at it and gives it back to the driver.

'You can go , I am sorry I didn't know that you were also a police officer.'

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A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and scored three ducks. He tossed them in the back of his pickup truck and was about to head home when he ran into a grumpy game warden who had a thing against hillbillies. The game warden asked the hillbilly for his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden checked it out, then leaned over, picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck isn’t from West Virginia. This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentucky hunting license, boy?" The hillbilly dug into his wallet and showed him a Kentucky hunting license.

The game warden examined it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This isn’t a Kentucky duck. This one’s from Tennessee. You got a Tennessee license?" The hillbilly reached back into his wallet and pulled out a Tennessee license. The warden then picked up the third duck. "This one’s from Virginia. You got a Virginia hunting license?"

Once again, the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia hunting license. The game warden was really frustrated by this point and yelled at the hillbilly, "Just where the hell are you from?"

The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert!" 😂

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BEST FATHER EVER.

My mom remarried a few years after she and my dad split up. Then, she passed away in a car accident when I was just nine years old. Before I turned ten, I lost both of my biological parents.

After that, I ended up living with my mom’s new husband, Steve Randle. He wasn’t my “real” dad, but he showed me what it truly means to be one. Steve dedicated his life to raising me and my little sister and brother.

When Steve met my mom, he was a successful lawyer. But after becoming a single parent, he gave up so much of his own happiness to be there for us.

He taught me more about life than anyone else – how to believe in myself, stay committed to family, and have faith in God. I’ve never made a big personal or work decision without asking him first.

I graduated from college with his support. I chose my career with his advice. And I’m a better dad today because of the example he set for me.

Being a real dad is about love, support, and encouragement. It’s not about biology. My last name is Randle, and it means more to me than money, success, or any title I could have.

Many people I admire, but my dad is my only true hero.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I’m so grateful .

--------------------------------------------------to be your son.----------------------------- expert!"