FUN 26/04/26
- 14 hours ago
- 4 min read
On a trip from LA to NY, a blonde and a lawyer are seated next to one another. If she'd like to participate in a lighthearted game, the attorney asks. The blonde politely declines and rolls over to the window to take a sleep since she is simply exhausted. The attorney insists, saying that the game is simple and enjoyable. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa," he explains. She rejects once more and tries to get some rest. Now irritated, the lawyer offers: "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you give me $5; if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." The blonde notices him and accepts the game after concluding that there won't be any relief from her suffering unless she participates. The first query is posed by the attorney. "How far is the moon away from the earth?" Without saying a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, takes out a $5 dollar, and offers it to the attorney. The lawyer responds, "Okay, your turn." What has three legs that go up a hill and four legs that come down, she asks the attorney. The lawyer is perplexed and pulls out his laptop to check through all of his references, but there is no resolution. He uses his modem to connect to the air phone and searches the internet and the Library of Congress, but there is no response. He writes emails to all of his friends and coworkers out of frustration, but to no avail. He wakes the blonde after one hour and gives her $500.00. After saying "thank you," the blonde turns around to go back to bed. The lawyer wakes the blonde and inquires, "Well, what's the answer?" the lawyer is more than a little irate. Without saying a word, the blonde hands the lawyer $5.00 from her purse and then resumes sleeping.
"Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way.
"Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"
Mary stands up, blushing furiously.
"How dare you ask such a question?" she says.
"I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!"
Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted.
She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand.
"Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson.
"Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."
"Very good, Sam. Thank you."
Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says:
"Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework.
Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their ‘tourist’ garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a ‘drop dead gorgeous’ topless blonde came walking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said ‘Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,’ nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them and said – ‘Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,’ and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, ‘Just a minute, young lady.’ ‘Yes, Father?’ ‘We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?’ She replied, ‘Why Father, it’s me, Sister Kathleen.’
BE W WIMP AND DO AS YOU ARE TOLD.
John Bellamy
If you find anything on this web site offensive, please know, I don't give a shit. If you choose, and it IS a choice, to be offended, then my work here is done. If I have made you think. If I have made you stop. If I have made you re consider. If I have made you - maybe - angry - and if that actually got your blood pumping and your mind racing, then that is good. It's time to wake up from the dream. It's time to face reality. The here and now is what is important and being the best yiou can be. So - why settle for second best - and Im talking about your Self. Be the best you can be.
You make, and take, from the news that which you wish to see and hear. You observe what you want and comment of things that affect you personally. If you don't like something, do not read it and move on but do not shy away from what IS going on in the world of which - you are a part. World news is so easy to find these days and differing opinions not hard to find. Having an opinion is vital and being a ' don't care' person helps no one. So open your mind - open your heart - open your awareness and ALWAYS be open to new ideas.
copyright © 2026
All rights reserved.
TO BE DELETED FROM OUR SYSTEM
Return this e mail with
PLEASE DELETE OH HANDSOME ONE...
Our mailing address is
Hamilton Hall Hotel
1 Carysfort Road
Bournemouth
Dorset BH14EJ
01202-399227
Comments