funnies...
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
So you are not gay huh -
Well you could have fooled me, mate.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Probably the most famous case like this involved the eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes.
The story starts in Las Vegas and the Hotel Desert Inn which, at the time, was owned by Dalitz.
At the time, the Desert Inn hosted the largest casino on the strip in Vegas. Hughes moved into and rented the top two floors of the hotel on Thanksgiving Day 1966.
After a couple weeks the hotel owners wanted to get Hughes to leave as they felt his eccentricity was negative PR for the Vegas image of their hotel. They also wanted to make room for the high rollers expected over the upcoming holiday season. Hughes was also perceived as a little crazy by this time in his life.
Instead of moving out though, Hughes entered negotiations to buy the Desert Inn. He managed to purchase the resort from Dalitz for $6.2 million in cash and $7 million in loans.
Hughes lived, worked and never left his 250 sq. ft. bedroom in the hotel. The windows and doors were taped shut. No housekeeping was allowed in. He conducted a large amount of business from the phones of this small, darkened room.
He was finally carried out four years later on a gurney and flown to the Bahamas to live out the last few years of his weird life.
John Bellamy
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