He / She / It / Me / They / Them - Oh it's fucking confusing.

John. I considered this for a while and thought you might like a little piece I found and added to for your Blog. Derrick J.

Why do you so many insist on using the correct pronouns?

You are free to insist on anything you like. Whether anybody chooses to listen is another story entirely.

You can demand I refer to you as him, her, it, sir, madam, etc. that’s your right. But it’s my right to completely ignore that request if I feel your rights infringe on mine, and if they do then we have a problem.


I will respect your preferred choice - with total respect and value - ABSOLUTELY - and when you scream when a mistake is made and when you disrespect how hard it is to get use to and you show no appreciation or thought for others coming to terms with a man in a frock in the high street or a man dressed up as a LIving Doll in Sainsbury's - then YOU need to get over it and be aware we consider this a way of gaining attention and showing off... 'Look at me.. Look at me.' and you are NOT trying to help and guide people - all you are doing is provocative and then you will scream blue thunder if someone gets it wrong.


It's all about you.


That's fine on the outside once we have looked and seen, but it is what is on the inside that is important and being a Living Doll - for instance - is no use to anyone if you cannot explain and help others understand without loosing your rag, which often is the case, as then you loose respect from those simply ignorant and needing to learn.


When your right to choose means I cannot, we have a problem.

When our right to question is met with animosity and anger, we have a right to ignore you.


When you have freedom of speech but I do not, we have a problem.

Anybody can make any demands they like, but the key issue is whether or not they can enforce those demands. If they can’t, who cares, let them demand what they like. We can all have a good laugh at them while they rant and rave and insist that everybody recognise them as the xenogender masc-femme ( confused yet ? ) they are. But if those demands lead to legislation and measures to prevent the choice of others not to agree or to cooperate with those demands, as has recently happened in Canada, then we have a serious, serious problem.

Dereck J.

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Dear John: Concerning all the different sexualities these days John, as long as it does not interfere in my family life I am happy for anyone to live their lives any way they like as long as it is non abusive to anyone and when stipulated in law, then we again have a problem as gay men do not have that right and abuse is still allowed and legal.


If all you wish to do is stand out and be different and grab attention by your actions ( YAWN ) you may be ignored.


If you wish to be recognised as a Vampire - or a Pussy Cat - or a Living Doll - a Dog on a Leash or a Baby in the pram - then after we stop laughing and after we give you a look of sympathy because clearly you are off your rocker - you may sulk and throw a snit and do whatever you like, and we will still ignore you. If you take the time to educate, that helps hugely. and any and all education has to come from you - as this is your choice and YOU CANNOT AND MUST NOT just expect people to understand as they will not.


You have every right to buy into any thoughts on anything you like, but you do not have the right to enforce your thought pattern onto others. As then, we have a problem. Do not expect others to instantly accept something that is as weird to them as snow in the summer. It takes time and it takes education and like most things - CHANGE comes slowly and takes several generations before change actually happens... and that is around 50 years.


Trans Sexual / Cross Dressers / Leather and Uniforms / Transvestites - even if you are a hermaphrodite are all understandable to me - and COMPLETELY appreciated and understood. No problem at all.


But when someone wants to be classified as a Vampire or a Living Doll - then I question sanity and cognitive abilities to keep it together in the real world where we all need to get a job, pay the bills and live in the real world and I do question the mental health when it is pushed to extreme and ESPECIALLY when others are expected to buy into your extreme, as many will not.


It is no use recognizing yourself as a ballet dancer when you are 20 stone and never danced a day in your life - ' But I want to be recognised as a ballet dancer'- will just make people laugh... I want to be recognised as Hugh Jackman, and know how dumb that really is.


Keeping it real and within the parameters of understanding really helps with acceptance and less laughter and more respect and less pity. A friend changed his name years ago and it did take a long time for people to get use to it and considering my first name in Michael and John my second name, my family still call me Michael even though I chose to use John over 35 years ago and it is hard - and I do not blame them or find fault as that's natural. People forget. It takes time.


So whatever you want to be called, GENTLE GENTLE and less aggression and throwing tantrums as that puts people off and gets you nowhere. Be nice, Be understanding and be accepting we are all human and we all make mistakes.


You respect me ... and I'll respect you.

Respect has to be earned and does not come automatically because you made a decision where we all have to go along with it - as we do not, especially if you give us attitude.


I repeat, respect has to be earned.



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mmm think that may garner some input this week huh ?



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