I use to worry.
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
I use to worry about what others thought of me.
I don't any more.
I was a worrier
Not any more.
Can't be bothered to waste the brain space.
I use to think about sex 24/7
I don't any more.
If I can't get a stiffy,
The world still turns and everything continues.
It's not as if I have not had more than my share.
I use to worry about being fashionable.
I don't any more.
I use to be in a hurry.
I have slowed down with age.
Not just because I am older, but because - I don't worry about things I worried about decades ago.
Besides, I am still here.
Decades later.
And where are those who doubted, disbelieved, were distrustful and were mean in their views ?
I am still here.
They are not.
There will always be those who resent, who are jealous and envious and who hate you for being you.
I was concerned. Worried, Made efforts to be as others wanted.
Not any more.
Fuck ' em.
I am who I am and if some don't like it.
Fuck'em.
Someone said ' You have no filter.'
How true, But then...
I don't need one - as - I don't care.
Well I do, but not in the way people assume.
With a delightful paid for home and business
People in and out.
Frieneds living here.
Money in the bank.
Good ( not bad ) health
Adoreable family
Mega adoreable pet dog
Fabulous staff - more than friends - like family
Still a 32 inch waist, the same for the past 45 years.
Still enjoying Star Trek
Still enjoying Marmite.
Still thoroughly enjoying my life and how things turn and while I may not always seem to pay attention;- I am aware.
I am no longer in my 30's.
Long ago was in my 40's.
Can't remember much about my 50's
My 60's were a Turning Point in my life.
An end.
And - A new beginning.
But not like anything that came before.
Once - parties, nights out, celebrations and a planned Diary of fun to come
Now hospital appointments, blood tests and cancer screeening.
But that's life.
That's how life changes and adapts.
And I am like the Borg.
I will adapt. Resistance is futile.
I will, as always - Go with the flow and - Trust.
Trusting - openly - is how I have lived my life.
How I went with the flow.
Trusted I would be guided along the way.
And it got me here - with this sensational life - this wonderous world I call home and this face staring back at me - and no - not my twin brothers mug, as I accept me for who I am - a nut - a crazy thing - a saint - a sinner - a wonderful kind and thoughtful person and a bit of a fuck up at the same time.
Bit like everyone else.
A work in progress until the day I die.
And I love it all, even the sleepless nights when I have something on my mind.
Proves I am still alive and thinking.
At 71 years of age.
I am never alone.
Never stuck for someone to talk to.
Never lonely
Never feel isolated.
The years have flown by while life was something I was living during those decades.
Maybe I didn't pay attention.
Did I loose my 50's ?
Did I take enough time and attention to notice it all passing by.
Probably not.
But it got me here and now and that, my friends, is all that matters.
I am here.
You are here.
We are here.
And we shall continue.
Together.
Until it is time to say ' See you later.'
And in the meantime -
Thanks for being a part of this wonderous journey we have shared as now the end is closer.
I give thanks for it all.
John Bellamy
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