50 years ago I was a virgin.
A 16 year old boy walked down and along the prom in Bournemouth on September 9th at 4.45pm when he noticed this much older man watching him. The boy was on a break from the hotel he was a training chef at and he had an hour spare before needing to head back to work and walked along the prom as this older man followed him.
Innocently, the lad went into a gaming arcade and started to play some of the slot machines when the older man came up and indicating to the money the boy was spending, said -
' You'll loose it all, you know.'
- meaning the money - although with hindsight, the boy lost a great deal more.
They chatted and the older man asked the boy to walk with him and as they came along the prom to a gents toilet the older man invited the lad inside, and the boy agreed.
In the lockup, the older man got the boys dick out and it was clear to the man that the boy was a complete novice - a virgin - and had no idea at all what to do or how - as ' cottaging ' was not something he had ever done before - or even knew existed.
The man got his own dick out and then proceeded to get the boys dick out and stood back in amazement at the size of the lads dick - as it was twice the size of the mans.
The man proceeded to wank the boy off as he also wanked himself off and when it came time to go, the older man gave the boy his name and number and said to call him some time and maybe have some more fun together, and he left and the boy stood there trembling - with excitement, before heading back to work.
He was so sure the people at work would see something was different about him, a glow, something, but no one did and the world turned and night followed the day and nothing changed but this boy was thrilled to have seen and touched a grown mans dick. His dream had been answered.
This was 50 years ago last week.
An anniversary I actually missed.
For I was the boy and at 16, met and had a relationship with this man I had met in a toilet near Bournemouth Pier and this was 1971 - 50 years ago.
Many would say I was groomed by this older man - WRONG.
Many would say he abused a young lad unsure of his own sexuality - WRONG.
Many would say I was duped and brain washed - how the 'gay agenda' had converted / perverted me - WRONG WRONG WRONG AGAIN.
So many assume they know the workings of someone else's mind and the truth is, they do not.
And to all those who have an attitude about this story, be aware that even as naïve and innocent as I was back at 16years of age and a complete virgin, I KNEW I WAS ATTRACTED TO MEN FROM EARL.Y CHILDHOOD although didn't even know the word gay meant homosexual, and never really thought I was anything but normal - to me - fancying the other boys at school but always hiding it for obvious reasons, especially 50 years ago when attitudes were very different and while the gay laws had been in place just for 3 years by then, educating the public always takes at least a generation - 25 years - ( or in some families a generation is only 13 years ) and I knew I wanted more.
I phoned the older man a few days later.
Someone else answered the phone and I asked for him. On the line, I told him my name and he couldn't remember me until I stated we had met near Bournemouth Pier and he immediately changed and asked if we could meet.
We did after I finished work and made an excuse about working late to my Mother, and went for a drive with this man.
He took me to Wimborne, a 20 minute drive, to his home which was through a restaurant that he owned - and he lived above.
I lost my cherry about that time.
Within 3 months of seeing each other as often as work and family allowed, after lying to my Mother about meeting this restauranteur through the college and doing some part time training at his venue, he offered me a full time job as his cook - living in - so he was asking me to live with him... he a man of 42 and me a kid of 16 and back then, 16 was innocent compared to today.
It was all agreed and organised professionally with my Mother so it looked all above board and I moved in on December 23rd 1971 and cooked a Christmas Dinner for 30 people the next day in a strange kitchen with hardly enough training to do such a thing, but as I was born with huge common sense, the meal all turned out cooked to perfection and on time and not all over cooked and mushy but - even though I say so myself, for a kid of 16 - FUCKING BRILLIANT.
Long story very short - within 4 months he sold the restaurant and moved to Guernsey - for tax reasons - and bought a big 17 bedroomed hotel which we ran together for 4 years -== LARGELY because and through my hard work and ability to come up with money making ideas for the hotel that, while hugely successful and where my older man raked it in, I got £7 a week wage, less than even the staff were getting yet the ideas and 15 hour days was coming from me...
Long story very short,, we lived together for just over 8 years when I was replaced with a younger ( but a LOT less attractive ) guy who was quiet and shy, never spoke much, just sat there and did little, while I was the exact opposite even back then, chatty and friendly to anyone and everyone, talkative and fun - and competition to my older man who just wanted me to be a show thing on his arm, the hot handsome hung young man on the much older mans arm, but because I shone without him, and because people talked about me first and him after, and because on the limited gay scene available in Guernsey it was me everyone was talking about, replacing me with a shop mannequin who said very little and was nothing to write home about, meant it then evolved around the older man and not his young handsome lover, and so I was dumped penniless after 8 years and found myself struggling.
But we met 50 years ago last Week and I could not let the moment pass without a mention.
The much older man was John G. and he died some 4 or 5 years ago now in his late 80's after spending must be 30 years with his partner I was replaced with, and between them, bless, they were like a couple of OAP's and so set in their ways, so the same every day, so predictable. So not my lifestyle at all.
I was dumped penniless after 8 years of hard work for and on behalf of that man and abandoned to cope for myself with nothing.
This was a cruel thing to do to anyone.
8 years clearly was worth nothing to him.
8 years of my hard graft bringing him in a great deal of money, nothing, not even a seasonal bonus.
Everyone said he was taking advantage and how true they turned out to be and if anything in law needed changing which is now the case, it is to protect young gay men from older men who take advantage financially.
That is why we are so lucky that after 45 years battling for equality, we can now marry and protect ourselves against unscrupulous men who take advantage financially over others ( I never felt taken advantage of sexually as I was gay -Period - not groomed or turned, I WAS GAGGING FOR IT RIGHT FROM THE START AND WASTED 15 YEARS A VIRGIN... but financially, yes of course, he absolutely fucked me financially and after all I had done and all that I had brought into the business financially ( I got the contract for over 100 every day in the season for coach tours coming in for Guernsey Cream Teas and I never even got a thankyou while he raked in the money, and guess who cooked all the cakes and scones etc. as well as cooked breakfast and dinner for 50 guests every day - ME... and not even an end of season bonus like the rest of the staff got.
Not all kids of 16 are innocent. I KNEW I WAS GAY - LONG - before I even knew what the word meant. I always fancied boys at school and loved when we played willies in the showers after footie - a game as a gay child I hated but the showers after - THE COMMUNUAL SHOWERS - were a delight for me. All eyes.
I was not groomed by this older man, I was not converted or the gay agenda used to manipulate - ( WHAT GAY AGENDA ??? - 50 YEARS LATER I AM STILL UNAWARE OF WHAT THAT EXACTLY IS THAT THE STRAIGHT COMMUNITY RANTS AND RAVES ABOUT and as a child I was sexual - period - loved the thought of naked men.
I am a typical identical twin, for my brother looks exactly like me and is just 20 minutes younger than me. The alpha - the first born of identical twins, is the alpha, the gobby chatty one with the personality, and is often LGBT - Now this is identical twins not paternal twins and as I am an identical twin and as my younger brother - who is a lovely man- has been married for over 35 years and is a Grandfather.
So as I look back on the last 50 years with wonder and amazement that I ever got to this age - and looking back - was I actually that innocent ? I knew buggr all about life, love and the universe and yet have grown and adapted and learned and BOY it has been a fun ride so far.
So here's to the next 50 years and - well - who knows - with modern meds and transplants and bionic bits, I may be here in another 50 years... lets wait and see.
Big thanks to John G. He may not have been the best mentor - ( actually his mentoring of a 16 year old was appalling ) but I get to where I needed to go and became who I needed to be and a big thank you to him for that. It may e 50 years ago but was yesterday to me and yesterday in the bigger scheme of things.
John Bellamy
