Big thankyou for last weeks HUGE response
I received more emails last week than I think I have ever had before from you guys in support of me loosing it last week with a rude customer - and your support has truly moved me and thank you. - here are some below :
It can be hard running any business, especially a gay venue.
It is a lot of long hours, hard work and sleepless nights worrying.
It is never dull and always a mystery who and what comes next.
It can be a nightmare as it can be Heaven sent.
Like everyone, I have my ups and downs and days when I am sick of it.
Days when I want to quit.
days when I want to run away
days when I wonder WTF - and this all comes because of a very few ssholes who spoilt it for everyone else.
I muster on and your wonderful e mails and phone calls of support are truly reward in iktself and thank you to everyone who got in touch, you cannot imagine what it means to me.
My comment last week:
I lost it this week, shouted at a customer who refused to pay for his meals and add a £1.90 tip for the staff. He screamed the law at me, which he was incorrect about and as we are all on tender hooks, on the knife edge, stressed and anxious, anything can spark something off as we are all suffering here and when people misbehave and act in an appalling manner - especially in a venue that has been shut for almost a year and is a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE offering scores of free holidays to the needy - along with the stress of possibly loosing ones business etc. then people like this are not worth my venue if all they are going to do is be mean fisted, mean spirited and deliberate. And all over £1.90. I offered a mediation and he refused so now it is his, he can own it.
Since opening we have been very aware that everyone is on the knife's edge emotionally because this pandemic seems not to be ending as we thought with the new Delta Variant growing speedily around the country is a concern and there is talk of a 3rd wave - and more shut downs, and when people cause trouble, act up, find something to shout about and find anything to complain about - then this kind of person is unwelcome if they cannot compromise, cannot understand they are not in this alone and if they have no concern or worry about more than themselves, if all they do is selfishly ignore the plight of others and cause and create more anxiety by their very actions, then I will speak up as selfish attitudes are not to be tolerated.
A little understanding and compassion goes a long way and when on a Reduced Price and deliberately arguing about a £1.90 tip for the staff, especially as we ask for cash and he chose to pay by card which we clearly state has 10% added, is just deliberately being mean. No one regrets it more than me, but I am not going to be walked on and mistreated by those who should know better and especially towards a NOT FOR PROFIT VENUE... it's just mean and makes you look small and all over £1.90p.
There is always two sides to any story - whatever the situation, whatever the grievance, and I appreciate I have only listed my side of this but in all honesty, as with all things, he is very welcome to share his grievance with us and as to why he thought it appropriate to bark the law at me over £1.90 and his actions are EXACTLY why so many people get sick of running a gay venue and pack up and close down with none of the picky fucked up queens bitching at their every move and enjoy some peace and quiet and guess what is said by those who have caused venues to close - ...'No one is offering us anything...' and that's because through bad behaviour, venues shut because they get sick of the assholes ( a few I have to say - a vety few - and it is the few who cause all the damage ) and choose to live a life of their own and - in a sence - the gay communiuty misses out. As more venues close due to the internet and now Covid - DON'T FUCK ABOUT WITH THE VENUES YOU HAVE LEFT - AS WHEN THEY CLOSE - YOU WILL HAVE FUCK ALL - NOTHING - only the gay friendly Hiltons and every other venue in the land but you are still at risk and the LGBTQ Community of business's who go out of their way to offer something nice for our community, will be lost forever.
Here are a few of your answers sent this week - BELOW:
People like that....just tell them to fuck off. Pure and simple. Don't even waste time trying to be reasonable....
Many years ago I was in the hotel trade and left before I killed someone! 🤯😬
Unfortunately the customers are NOT always right/reasonable/understanding/kind....so they can go somewhere else and NOT be......etc.
The hotel is your home, of course...
I am so sorry but some gay people are up there own arses a lot of time and have little regard for others!
I dont blame you at all so not feel guilty as I may suggest you acted appropriately Dale
You deserve support - you are really good to your clients. Charlie XX
You are definately doing a lot right through Hamilton Hall and the many times I have visited is always differtent, always wonderful and always a pleasure to be with you all. You have my complete sympathy for what you have to tollerate from the few. Ruddi.
John: Read your Blog. Feel for you. All over £1.90./ But that's not the point either way. He sounds obnoxious. No tip and on a discounted stay. Then argies with you over £1.90. Disgraceful., There really are some doisgraceful people on the LGBT scene and I can only assume John - mental health has something to do with it as who would act that that and all over £1.90p ? Simon.
Pleased that yu put him in his place John. well done. BM.XXX
Good one John. People get away with bad attitude because many put up with it and say nothing. Knew you would put him in his place.. ha ha .. I can just see it. Good for you John. If you ever need someone to come and thump 'em for you .. I'm your man. Will always defend you against those less worthy, and will always be your customer and friend. Des.
You are absolutely right.
What 's more this kind of person does n't need Covid pressure to behave like that- it's in their DNA, wired in.
I hope you were firm when you chucked him out.
You don't deserve this crap.
John. As a hotelier myself I offer my heart felt sympathy. I get it also. Rude obnoxious people who think they can do and say and act how they please. There are some appalling people out there . Steve.
Dear John, I totally agree with you. Just read your blog and it upsets me to see people do not respect the few freedom spaces we still have. We have to be grateful that people like you have made it possible for us to escape for a few days and be ourselves. Hope to visit Hamilton Hall again soon, it’s a great place. R.
You and HH are valued more than you can possibly imagine John. There will always be those fucked up faggots whop are determined to destroy - and well done you for putting up wqith it all for so long. The gay scene is a vety nasty dangerous place and no wonder there are so many fucked up people throwing tantrums and scenes - and all because of mental health and abuse through envy. Makes no sens eto me, but is how it is . Jason H.
as a taxi driver for 30years, i totally understand, i always try to let it go over my head,, when they refuse to pay, hell bells, always remember their is a karma god,, you will find the 1.90 on the floor and smile about it, cash is king,, nice to have the jingle of coins, totally with you on this, he was a sad bastard ha ha ,,did not get his jollies in a while ha ha ha
you take care and relax,, remember deep breaths ........ hope i get to go and stay in your hotel soon. this covid has caused havoc ,, totally understand
John. I visit several gay hotels in the UK and Europe and since Covid several have chosen to take this opportunity and take the governments pay out - and have not reopened at all but ran for the hills never to be seen again.
They have stolen the money.
You are still here.
You have re opened.
You have also had a hotel ' make over' during lockdown destined to continue and offer men a safe space and it is one of those men who now try and make it an unfriendly place because of his actions. He should be thanking you for continuing to keep a safe space open for us and thankful you do not screw the LGBT world as many - MANY do in business. I think we all owe you a big thankyou John. I sincerely do.
John: there are some screwed up people out there that have gotten worse since covid and i feel sorry for anyone having to face the public as you do. He doesn't deserve HH if he is to tight to leave a tip of £1.90. What a mean bastard. You deserve so much better than that john you really do. I shall return soon .K.
Hope you are less stressed.
As a young 63 yr old motorcycle rider i hope to visit you at some stage this year.. I have never been naked. That is totally naked in company.. And with other bi/gay men. I think it would be liberation.
I have some gay experience. Am not a drama queen. After 30 yrs of driving a taxi i have a very open mind. So this year i am going to exolore my mind and my soul.. I was looking at around 4 hours to ride down from Fishguard.. When is the best time for me to visit. A shared room. Would do. Or a single. Doubt i will be sleeping with somebody.. Ha ha ha. I have a thing fr effem gays... U know yourself we all have a type.. Missed naked fun this weekend. Hope it went well and that you made lots off tips.. Ok i will be in touch. Lol
We closed our venue after just 3 months John as it was all too much. Constant complaints. Constant bitching everything we did., Constantly trying to put us down and we shut to the gay world and changed to a family hotel and we have never had any problems since. I admire you for lasting 21 years - how on God's Earth have you stayed sane ? Dealing with the gay world was deadly and we had to get out of it befopre it destroyed our business, our relationship and our feelings about the gay communiuty. Andy.
Hang in there mate
Just ignore these pitiful A. Holes
They are not worth it. Wherever we go,there will always be a few bad apples
Not worth the space
Take care and keep up the good work
So John. After months closed you open to THAT ? After small business has suffered more than at any time in living history, he gives you grief over £1.90? This man is probably NOT a small busines sowner, probably not even working, probably sponging off the system and probably a smean as shit in every aspect of his life. Ignore the prick John, you are so more worthy that the likes of him. Gareth.
Sorry to hear you have encountered a miserable ungrateful sod. Karma will reap dividends in time
Hopefully having let him annoy you, am sure you will soon excise him from ongoing awareness and your bonhomie will be fully restored as other guests make it clear we all appreciate you and your helpers
After all you offer our community. After all you do freely for others., After all the counselling and listening and compassion you offer, this man treats you like that ? Shamefull. I bet he does nothing for anyone but himself. It is the same with some on the scene here in Washington State.
RF ( Seattle )
I hear you John. Closed our own place because of pricks like this. Pissed us of at Christmas a few years ago and we had just about had it before this and the abuse screamed at us because the customer made a mistake with their booking and screamed at me when it was not my responsinbility and then left a shitty Trip Advisor report - AND IT WAS THEIR MISTAKE and we did all we could to put it right and yet we got the damned obnoxious review. The gay community is a pretty shitty pace John and full of mental health problems. Stick with it John, we appreciate you and your venue so don't give into these assholes. R & K. ( ( New England - USA )
Opened a B&B for gay men a decade ago and lasted just 3 seasons. The experience was awful and my bf insisted we close as he had had enough. Picky queens bitching everything we did. The straight crowd would never acts so badly. Closed the venue and turned it straight and almost never have problems now. Well done you 21 years open. How do you put up with it John, as gays are the worst behaved people we have ever met in business.
Phil ( France )
Wewll done John. Putting up with aholes the way you do. I hear your pain and frustration. Youb work so hard and then get these aholes who have no idea and expect 5 star service for little monmey and bring their mental health with them and thow it around like confetti. Well done on speaking your mind and not outting up with it. Wish I had the guts or we might have stayed ipen longer./ It so frustrated, we closed and retured. Fed up with the oddballs.
Name and shame him, hope you have black listed him.
Disgraceful the way that arsehole behaved John. Disgraceful especially considering how much you give back to the community and cunts like him act like that. If I had been you, I'd have knocked his fucking lights out. Well done on your restraint. These damned faggots who think they rule and are sop jhealous of the likes of you and I. Malc.
Sorry to read of the hassle over 1.90!
Loving the masculine men and twink pics. Imagine them all together - what a mess 😆 Regards Richard
I have to say - all that over £1.90 as a tip for the staff. I cannot imagine how awful that man had to be, what a mean fisted little man. Little being the important word here John. He is small compared to you, THE GIANT. Vince.
Shocking John. Reading your £1.90 mean man is so typical of those paying a reduce price in the first place and then leave no tip and complain about £1.90. You are best off without the likes of him in your venue as he is clearly a man who takes and takes and takes and puts nothing back and then complains about every little thing. Gavin
Love your Blog John. Sorry to read about the mean man over £1.90p. Can totally understand your frustration and anger after alkl we have been through. There are some selfish people out there John - really self centread and it sounds as if you met one. After all you do for others as well, this appalled me when I read it and had to write and say a BIG THANKYOU for all you do for so many through Hamilton Hall. David F.