christmas jokes
- gaymen2
- 9 hours ago
- 3 min read
Altar boy confessing.
An Italian altar boy enters to confession
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.
The priest asked:
-Is that you, Luca Pagano?
-Yes, father, it's me.
-And who is the girl you were with?
-I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin your reputation.
-Okay, Luca, I'm sure I'll find out his name sooner or later, so you should tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?
-I can't say.
-Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?
-I'll never say.
-Was it Nina Capelli?
-I'm sorry, but I can't name her.
-Was it Cathy Piriano?
-My lips are sealed.
-So, was it Rosa Di Angelo?
-Please, Father, I can't tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration and says to her:
-You are very discreet, Luca Pagano and I respect you for that, but you have sinned and you must do penance.
You will not be able to be an altar boy for the next four months.
Now go and behave yourself.
Luca returns to his post and his friend Franco approaches him and whispers:
-What did you achieve?
-Four months of vacation and the list of the parish's bad girls!
P.S. This joke doesn't have a moral, but I hope it makes you smile.
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Why does Santa go to strip clubs? To visit all his ho ho ho’s.
Is your name Jingle Bells? Cause you look ready to go all the way.
Wanna see the North Pole? That’s what Mrs. Claus calls it...
Say your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas...Can I visit between the holidays?
Why did Santa divorce Mrs. Claus? He couldn’t let go of all those ho’s.
Boy: Are you Christmas ? ‘Cause I wanna merry you! Girl: Are you Hall? Cause I wanna deck The Hall.
How is Christmas like a day at the office ? You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
My girlfriend wanted a white Christmas... But when I came on her face, she didn’t even thank me.
You know, that’s not a candy cane in my pocket...I’m just THAT happy to see you
What do a train set and your wife’s chest have in common?Both were made for kids, but dads can’t help playing with them.
I got my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.
Why doesn’t Santa have any kids of his own? He only comes down the chimney.
I went and bought a real Christmas tree. The salesman asked if I was going to put it up myself. I said "No, you sick bastard, I’m putting it in my living room."
Why did the snowman drop his pants ? He heard the snowblower was coming by.
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