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This little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

"Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent.'


The doctor says

"I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back.

"Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly."

"Good", the doctor said. "Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."


-----------------------------------

Do flights ever stop mid-flight for passengers who need to use the restroom?

( That was a genuine question from an American women - and just shows how stupid some Americans are ...)

This happened once on a flight between San Francisco and Tokyo. A passenger demanded to use the restroom. The pilot stopped the aircraft in mid-air, suspending it above the Pacific. The annoyed flight attendant opened the cabin door and shoved the uncooperative passenger out over the ocean, closed the door, and rang the cockpit. The captain fired up the engines and the aircraft was on its way.

Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question. This one ranks up there with “Are you asleep?”







During a prank, a student stuck a paper on his classmate's back that said "𝗜'𝗺 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱", and asked the rest of the class not to tell the boy.


Thus the students began laughing on and off...


Came afternoon math class started and their teacher wrote a difficult question on the board.

No one was able to answer it except the boy with the sticker.


Amid the unexplained giggles, he walked toward the board and solved the problem.

The teacher asked the class to clap for him and remove the paper on his back.


She told him: "It seems that you don’t know about the paper your classmate has pasted on your back."

Then the teacher looked at the rest of the class and said:


"Before I give you a punishment, let me tell you 2 things:


First, throughout your Life, people will put labels on you with many nasty words to stop your progress.

Had your classmate known about the paper, he wouldn't have gotten up to answer the question.


𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻, 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳."


"Second, it’s clear that he doesn't have any loyal friend among you all to tell him about the sticker.

It doesn't matter how many friends you have - it is the loyalty you share with your friends that matters.


𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲."

Ignore the labels others give you


-----------------------------



A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath.

One of them is washing her “private area” and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her.

They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, “Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.”

The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they’ll close the curtains for privacy

Besides it’s worth a try.

The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat-lines… no pulse… no heart rate.

The nurses run into the room.

The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, “I think she choked.”


--------------------------------













This is how I feel about those who like to constantly remind us how they are vegan and how the rest of us are destroying the planet and they alone will be the saviour of the planet.

- B-O-R-I-N-G -



















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