How can the British cope living in the UK

How can the British cope living in the UK with the awful weather, the poorly built homes with the ugly wallpapers, the awful food, and the depressing run down cities?

Some important questions, there, that only serve to prove how we Brits can survive anything short of the common cold.

Let's address them one by one:

The weather:

Being just to the east of the Atlantic ocean, it does get rather wet. Our friends in Ireland do a sterling job of intercepting a fair bit of it - and we're hugely grateful for that - but there's no way they can be expected to prevent all of it.

Thankfully, however, we're an innovative bunch and we came up with something called an umbrella. They stop us drowning and are actually so cool that Rihanna wrote a song about them.

We also came up with a dead clever way to deal with our variable temperatures. It will sound really obvious when you hear it but somehow the concept may not have reached the US as yet. Our cunning plan is to wear more clothes in winter than we do in summer. This is the kind of “out of the box” thinking that wins us Limeys so many Nobel prizes - we really are smarter than the average gerbil.

Have you been to Nebraska in the winter ?

Picture 1 is New York USA - Picture 2 in York in the UK

Poorly-built homes can be an issue. Many of us live in places that are older than your country and that can sometimes lead to a desperate shortage of USB sockets. Thankfully, as a result of this glaring inadequacy, we have evolved a system whereby we can either phone an electrician or nip down the shops and buy an extension cable. Yet another case of Brits on the ropes bouncing back with an ingenuity that is simply beyond many nations.

Wallpaper, of course, is a tricky one for any country to deal with. Where you have issues with crystal meth, we have to face the problem of wallpaper - it remains bizarrely popular with people who are old enough to be your president. The issue is often debated in Parliament but party politics invariably get in the way of a lasting solution. The best we've come up with so far is to wait until someone younger moves into a house and redecorates it.

Food

Might be a confusing word here. We have some of the finest culinary offerings from all over Europe, Asia, South America and Africa and it all tastes rather lovely. When we import ideas from North America, however, the results are disappointing. I suspect it's something to do with British plastic and cardboard being made to slightly different specifications and insufficiently chlorinated chicken, but I'll have to leave this one to someone who works in a chemical factory.

We must be getting something right, however, as the average Brit requires a far smaller coffin than the average American and will need it many years later. ( Not so many fatties - er - obese - in the UK as in America. )

Depressing cities are a tricky one. Grotty little dumps like Salisbury, Worcester and Lichfield with their grubby thousand-year-old cathedrals simply can't hold a candle to the wonders of Detroit in all of its space-age glory. We don't let it get us down, though. We simply count our blessings and the realisation that there aren't any four year olds running around with assault rifles cheers us up pretty quickly.

It astounds how many Americans think the rest of the world is all a Third World Nation and how America is the only country to be as advanced as it is. European countries are all CENTURIES older that anything in America and we have centuries of experience and knowledge somehow missing from the cognitive abilities of the average American who thinks Jesus and God himself was also from the USA and how the universe evolves around America... Oh and remember - some Americans think the world is flat and Jesus was blond haired and fair skinned. Here are a few things discovered / invented by us Brits.

AMERICA - so shove that up your jacksie America... The English language - which you consistently mess up.

Computers

Jet engines Covid Vaccine Concentration Camps

Combustion engine

Telephones

Photography Television - BBC being the first ever broadcaster

Chocolate bars

Tin cans Pe rcussion ignition, the foundation of modern firearms.

Light bulbs 999 telephone number is introduced as the world's first emergency telephone service.

The reflecting telescope

Stainless steel Electrical telegraph The Royal Air Force - the first in the world SS Great Britain, the world's first steam-powered, screw propeller-driven passenger liner with an iron hull Selective breeding

The seed drill Facsimile machine The peddle bicycle Telescopes Finger printing Superphosphate, the first chemical fertiliser, Postage Stamps Logarithms Macadam road construction technique.

Steam powered water pumps. Vaccines Penicillin Desalination Stellar motion The Plough

Hollow pipe drainage

Baseball

Basketball - better known as Netball and is a girls sport...

Electrostatic motors Vaccine for Covid.

Americans who ask such stupid questions and assume they are Number One - really need to give thanks to these old world countries like the UK and need to worry about things closer to home as what did you give the world ? - Donald Trump - Obesity - The Twinkie - Peanut Butter and even their staple diet of hot dog and burgers are both stolen from Germany.

Man on the moon was only possible through German engineers after World War 2 went to live and work in the USA - and these war criminals were given a immunity from prosecution because America knew how valuable they were.

We get by just fine, thank you, and have done so for centuries before America was even out of it's nappies ( the correct word for diapers in the English language which is also - badly - used by Americans who speak - er - ENGLISH ) as a country.

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