The Modern Gay world - Is it for me or am I just getting older?
- 4 hours ago
- 3 min read
From Daniel:
The Modern Gay world - is it for me or am I just getting older?
Every generation will recall their youth years and in the main affirm that theirs was the best time to be alive and young compared to previous and future generations.
No surprise then, that I think my generation wins this accolade , but for reasons that I hope show why I believe so.
The year I turned 18 was the same year that the age of consent in the UK for gay sex was legal from 18. I fortunately entered adulthood as a gay man being able to have sex with another man legally, a right that previous generations didn’t have.
Heading into the 2000’s and with dial up internet, it meant that if you wanted to hook up or chat with friends, you actually went out and made physical contact. Dating was organic, capturing a glance of someone In a bar and taking it from there. No swiping, no blocking and best of all the face pic was current!!
The internet may have connected more of the world but (and with the odd recession here and there) we have seen a steady decline in the gay community, with fewer bars and clubs, which in turn as more people were social meant that more spin off events / groups were happening. Drag acts used to pack out nearly every gay bar or pub at one time over a weekend. But with fewer gay bars (welcome back Black Cap), I guess RuPauls Drag Race is this generation’s substitute.
It was also a time when we were LGB an umbrella acronym for us of a different sexual orientation. We also had one rainbow flag. A core label and symbol that united us and helped to improve how society progressed with sexual orientation.
As I approach 50 next year and do a bit of reflection. Would I want to be turning 18 again or 50. Hands down 50 if it meant turning 18 in 2027.
Although society has changed overtime, coming out as gay can still be tough for some, without the gay places, great free weekly magazines (BOYZ etc) that helped someone to find themselves, that is a bigger gap that the internet with its dangers / miss information / cat fish, can never replace. Society has changed, but at what expense. Wokeism is rife and now we are LGBTQ+ (I still hate the word queer although apparently we now ‘own it’) and we have multiple rainbow flags. Ideology has been confused with sexuality, inclusivity actually can alienate people.
To an extent the modern gay world is its own worst PR machine
Dating is mainly using apps (but not actually meeting or dating)
But not having as many gay places to frequent probably isn’t a bad thing given that most 18 years old won’t be able to move out of their parents home or buy a house into their 30s given prices etc, let alone have spare cash to have nights out start the night drinking in the bar (not getting hammered on supermarket booze beforehand and arriving just before a door entry fee is charged).
Back then, you could get a 100% mortgage, only needing to show you had funds to pay the solicitors cost.
Fortunately I was sensible got a good job with a great pension and now as I turn 50 next year, i have no mortgages and taken early retirement. Something I dreamt about decades ago and put my mind to it. But if I was 18 and had the same dreams, I’m not sure how I’d make a plan stick.
So that’s why as I make another milestone shortly, it’s a milestone I’m very content to make
See you at the pumping weekend !
Daniel DR.
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