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Are you lonely, can we help in some way ?

An e mail from a reader of this News Letter.

You are the only man I feel I can say this to John, so here goes.

I am desperately lonely.

I have a good job - average pay - nothing to spoil myself with - and work long hours 5 days a week, with 5 week days off and I work all weekends.

I am what you would call Mr. Average.


Height - 5'6"

Weight - 11stone, so a bit tubby

Fair skinned - well actually quite white skinned.

Brown mousy hair.

Dick only 5 inches.

Tight balls you almost cannot see.

I am an only child so no family since parents both died.

Alone in the world.

No friends as hard to make friends these days and if I was hung like a pony - I am sure to have a following but as it is, I am not and I don't.

I rarely have sex as no one even answers my various postings on various sites and I have not had sex in over a year.

I wank a lot.

A lot in the evenings.

I play with toys on my own and watch free porn online.

I am now nervous of actually meeting someone for sex as it has been so long.

I stay in and watch telly on my own, laugh at things on my own - cry at sad stuff on my own;- cook for myself, sleep alone and even have extra pillows in the bed which makes it feel like I am sleeping next to someone else.

I did have a cat and she was lovely company but she was killed by a bus as I live on a busy road and she got out one day and that was it... my indoor cat was now crushed under a bus.

No one there to share my loss, my grief, and I cried for weeks all alone.

Someone once did pay me special attention a couple of years ago and I really thought I had met a lover. He was Turkish and cute. After a few months of knowing him, he took me for £500 and then vanished.

So much for trusting people.

Not a lot of money but the cost of a decent holiday for me - gone.

I cried over that all alone in my bed as well.

I am lonely and the gay scene while claiming to be a community is not anything like a community. It is more like a cult with certain groups having more members so more clout but when the chips are down John, no one really gives a shit for anyone but themselves.

Your venue. I have been reading your site for some time and really do feel a part of something each week when I read your Newsletter and how you had a stressful week last week, and feel through your writings and now the YouTube channel - that I have a friend - if one sided. You John.

You speak my language about the world. You offer so much to people like me who have that inner sadness - I suppose some would say desperation - desperate for some friends, someone to talk to and who understands, someone who takes the time and someone who is a real person and not just some shallow empty shadow of a person with no substance.

I have met a few of them over the years. I am of the age where I can see little changing as being the quiet shy type, I do not get noticed even if and when I do go out and meet people. I am the one in the corner with the anorak and plastic M&S bag. I sit with my half pint all evening hoping someone will talk with me but no one does and I know that's half my problem, as it takes two, I just cannot ever think of anything to say that's witty and amusing and I come over as dull, so am left alone.

Am I to spend all my time alone. Am I to live the rest of my life in solitary confinement - so to speak - where people say the minimum to me and expect more in return than I can muster and where they give me odd looks before resuming the conversation with someone else?

Sorry to bore you with this John. I have been thinking about writing for some time and some of your articles and comments encouraged me to share this with you, and I do hope we can meet some time. I am in Devon and to be honest, I cried just writing this to you.



John Bellamy Comments

I was really upset when I sat and read Richards e mail as it made me realise how lucky I am to live such a busy life, with so any people in and out, with scores of repeat customers returning time and again and where we get to know each other - like friends - and where I have live in staff I genuinely love and adore and have a laugh with - watch telly with most evenings and share life's mysteries and wonders with ( non sexual ) and what a superb life I have. I moan and groan about my stressful week and my problems and all the while I absolutely do appreciate that there are many out there whose lives are solitary and lonely and Hamilton Hall - through me - has always offered FREE HOLIDAYS to those who find themselves alone for whatever reason and not able to afford a few days away - and we are here and we are available and we will share and chat and make friends and with others staying, offering some hope.

I was very emotional during the reading, copying and answering of Richards e mail and I answered directly and have his permission to use his e mail above.

If you are ever alone - desperate - sad - needing someone, WE ARE ALWAYS HERE AND WE ARE ALWAYS OFFERING - MIND, BODY AND SOUL to those in need of some compassion and from the heart, absolutely from the heart - and is EXACTLY what the LGBT scene lacks - SOUL.

Hamilton Hall is a retreat hotel with soul and we listen, we take the time and we are here for you, so, if in a similar position to Richard, we may offer a few days for free with all meals etc... so just drop me an e mail and we can take it from there.

And to the scores of haters out there - I really do not waste my time on you. Too much jealousy, resentment, envy - and hay - thanks... I know - and more to the point, I know that YOU know - and I know that you know that I know that you resent, envy and are jealous, so thanks for the compliment, and with that being the case, ha ha - funny old sad old you.

Its saddens me that there are so many people on this planet and yet so many are lonely.



Your comments are always invited.

Do you have a story to share ?


Dear John and Hamilton Hall. : Truth be told, I’ve got enough on my plate without caring about lonely sixty-three-year-olds. I’m used to solving my own problems. Which is why I’m busy without caring about other people’s loneliness. If I cared too much about every lonely sixty-plus, I would have no energy left to care for myself.

The thing is, people now-a-days live to be ninety and a hundred. That means that sixty-three is still thirty years away from The End. Thirty years is an awful long time to be miserable. So here’s my suggestion.

Forty-plus years ago you figured out what you want to do with your life. Now you’ve lived that life. Time for a new plan. Sit down with yourself and evaluate what you enjoy, what resources you’ve got, what you can do within those parameters.

Then figure out how to make your dreams come true. Only you can do this.

The rest of your life is worth planning for. You don’t want to be a burden on others. At least, I hope you don’t. Wallowing in loneliness makes you a burden. Working on your dreams for the rest of your life will make you a thriving productive citizen whom others will enjoy being around. I hope you take this route. I do care about you, but I haven’t got the energy to feel sorry for you.

Matthew M.


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