death

'When someone dies in their sleep, people assume that that's the best way to die. But I'd say about 99% of the time, they feel themselves dying even in their sleep, and they struggle to breathe, and they actually die from suffocation. Is this likely ?'

'I’m a hospice volunteer, and have been with many people as they died. I believe you are assessing the situation from your own fears. Here is what I have observed:

The dying person detaches from consciousness (this may appear as sleep, but I feel it is not sleep, but a lack of consciousness). Their body takes some time to stop its automatic processes.

What you see as a struggle to breathe, in my opinion is the exact opposite. It’s a struggle to stop breathing. The death is already occurring, the irregular breathing is the effect, not the cause.

I have held hands with some special folks as they were dying…their eyes opening and closing at times, some unexpected movements to discharge energy, their breathing shallow and irregular.

One of those people was my grandmother. After my grandmother’s death, my grandfather no longer wanted to live. He began to refuse food and most water. He wanted to die and told us that it was hard to get his body to stop living. It took him about a week.

None of the people I shared time with expressed fear or pain in death. Dying is a natural process, but a process none-the-less. It takes time.

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John Bellamy Comments:

I was a bereavement Counsellor for some years and experienced many deaths back in the 1980's and early '90's - as many gay men did. We saw our community decimated by HIV and where - personally - I went to something like 14 funerals in one year.

One of the most upsetting thing for many was to sit with their love one, holding their hand, knowing they were passing soon, and after hours sat there, went to the loo, or went to make cuppa, and as soon as they left, the person died while alone.

Many found this really upsetting until I pointed out that your energy, your life essence was what was hindering their passing, your energy was enough to stop them dying and as soon as you left, they were able to peacefully pass.

Many, when told this, felt better about 'leaving them all alone' - and it helped with the guilt and the grief.

Sadly many fear death because of the unknown factors involved and the clap trap religion plays in creating the fear that you might go to hell and that Satan might be there to greet you. Millions live in fear of death. Millions celebrate ' The Day of the Dead' but in reality fear it.

But there is nothing to fear.

If - as some say - there is nothing at all, then what is to fear ?

If , as the church tells us, Satan might take us to hell, then behave and be a good person - it's not exactly rocket science.

If you are a good person, and you feel you might pass through those Pearly Gates, then wonderful - and again - what is there to fear ?

Personally, I do not believe in Heaven and Hell any more than I believe in Satan or that God is an old man with a beard.

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