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I can't get a hard on any more John.

John. I have a big fat dick.

by Jake

( NOTE: None of the pictures I have added are that of the writer )

I have been known, ever since my wife and I divorced 25 years ago and as I knew I was bisexual, I 'entered' the gay scene and it was really only then that I became aware exactly how big, how in demand and how good I was at fucking.

I also have huge low hanging balls that I sit on if not careful.

I have fucked my brains out these last single years with no attachment and have had tons of guys want a relationship but I know my dick plays a gigantic part ( pun intended ) in their affections for me and as I am not now or ever was - a fool - it helped me keep level and my head above water, so to speak.

As I get older my hard on is not as it was and so I started using Viagra, and it really helped, but of late, even that seems not to work and other than when I wake in the night with a stonking erection, the rest of the day and evening - even if having sex - it does not stand to attention any more, coming half way up and is wonderful and fat, meaty and bulbous BUT NOT HARD ENOUGH TO FUCK... and I do so miss it.

Perfect for those who love long suck sessions, as few can deep throat me anyway and when half hard is more than a mouthful but at least some can get it down their throats, so is not a total loss, but most always want to get fucked and while I love fucking, it aint hard enough these days and - it sucks.

I miss it.

I look at porn and see these wonderful hard dicks - and remember how mine was constantly hard and constantly ready for action and constantly in demand - but now - I feel less, less than able, less than impressive and less than the young man I was and now feel old because of this.

I am old. mid 60;s but this has never been my problem as with a dick like mine, age was immaterial but if its going to play at being a floppy dick, is my sex life over ?

Jake .


Jake: The hardest thing in life to realise is that you are getting old. All of us. We all get old eventually. Things change and adapting with those changes is important. We have all seen old folk masquerading like some 21 year old and they just look sad and foolish - Mutton Dressed as Lamb, but as long as they are happy, who cares. It's none of your business.

Now - If you are unhappy at how the body adapts to age, and if your dick is no longer working as it did, notice what else isn't working as well and realise you cannot do at 65 what you did at 18 - PERIOD - and as you have had over 40 years to adapt, it really is up to you. There is Viagra and other medications you can buy 'on line'- ( BUT ONLY IF HEALTHY - seek medical advice first ) and then there are different ways of peeling an orange - so to speak - there are many different ways of having sex and a stiffy is not always needed there are many other 'organs' that can offer sexual / sensual relief , you just need to learn how - and that's where Hammy Hall and our workshops come in.

There are alternatives and educational offerings that can help, and it's all up to you.

John Bellamy


After years of a busy sex life with men and women I have now given up on the whole pursuit of getting sex as I now see it all as just such a massive hassle.

Too many men are crap at sex - and I mean - CRAP, LAZY, BORING, NOT A FUCKING CLUE...

So many sex sites and yet the chance of actually meeting someone is very slim and there are so many time wasters and tossers out there who just fuck about and - personally - I'd rather have a wank on my own.

Too many selfish people who are crap at sex ( 'Do whatever you want to me' - Means I am crap and you need to teach me ) and expect me to do all the work and show them the way forward and it is not as if they were stunning fashion models or something else, I wouldn't mind, but when Mr. Boringly Average expects me to worship him - then he has a LOT TO LEARN - about sex and about how gay men do not want sex with every other man going, we have our types as well and all too often, these lazy fuckers aint it.

So John I understand where you are coming from as I am with you on that one. Well done John. Martin S.


Sir: Saw you on 3 IN A BED recently and wanted to write as I am a whore and am having problems with it. It is fucking my head up. Too many people expecting so much from me with demands on what they demand I offer and all the time it's things that revolt me and I am not into. How can I get my clients to adhere to what I offer and not what they expect.


Allan: If you give in to their demands once, they have you forever more. Stand firm, state what is and what is NOT available and do not budge from there. Be firm and stay focused. Not sure how or where you advertise but you need to make it clear in your adverts what is available and what is not.

I advertised as ACTIVE SERVICE decades ago and still got asked if I was passive ( OH DEAR GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH !!! ) and my answer was always ' Read the fucking advert - What does it fucking say ? .' and if that meant I lost a client, then I didn't want stupid fucking morons as clients anyway so no loss there. If it meant I had a quiet week, then so be it. I am NOT about to sell my soul for £50 - my body for an hour maybe - but not my free thinking - free will - and if it means I loose out, then I really don't give a damn as at least I did it MY WAY - AND ONLY I AM RESPONSIBLE.

You must ALWAYS take the lead and stay in control.

Anything else, come and see me and we can chat further.


I am sex whore I am happy within it. Earn good money. From country where illegal to be homo and glad to be here in UK. No money so forced to sell body. Not even gay but enjoy any sex so sex is sex - right ? and man has his needs - right ? - Got to get my dick serviced at least twice a day or I explode bang. I have wife back home. 4 children. I earn here to send home but enjoying gay life and gay sex more than ever before and am I gay ? Butchered if at home and gay. Stoned if found out. Muslim. Leave wife and kids and stay here or go home to be life of lie and pretend straight - can't lie but can't abandon kids. Found new things here never knew before. So much physical enjoyment, shamed before, physical entertainment forbidden. Babies only. Not pleasure but as a man, must relief often, easier here but hard difficult with at home. Wife in control at house home, she commander, she boss. Out of home man is boss and kids follow Fathers rules. Needed money so came long way to Britain for money make but no visa no job no rights so left in B&B by government and I ran away. Hide from police. 2 years now. Much money sent home but want to stay as gay now and want gay sex and gay life more now. Sorry for wife.

What to do ?


You do not need tell your wife you are gay or anything sexual at all, just that you will not be coming home and to divorce you - continue sending her money - and be a good boy and take responsibility for how you made 4 children. Do not abandon them. Do not return and live a miserable unhappy lie with wife and kids. Women have a funny way of finding out what is wrong and you do not want that stigma where death is a threat for anyone LGBT. Try and stay friends with your wife as it makes life easier.

If you want to come to Hamilton Hall any time, as my guest, and we can chat and I can point you in the right direction as to what to do with your money, with your various applications to stay and your being gay and Muslim.



My wife and I are divorcing. It's not because she found out I am gay but because I was seeing rent boys.

She has constantly complained about the lack of money and how we always scraped to pay the bills and when she found out I was paying £150 a hour for gay sex, that was it. BOOM. It was not about the sex, being unfaithful, or even being with another man - it was all about the money - she just went on and on about how could I do her out of money she needed for shoes ( for herself ) and few days away ( on her own ) and all things she wanted that more money could buy HER expensive things. I suggested she get a job and help out financially but that was another major row that didn't end well - no sex for 3 months after that one...

I went away on business for a week to Paris. Not a real business trip but needed a few days away and packed as much as I could without her realizing and never went back. Solicitor processed Divorce papers to her and I have not seen her since.

Luckily, no kids. She has not contested and has agreed to divorce and I am looking forward to being single and coming to stay with you and being naked around the venue and other men and even just writing this gives me a stonker of an erection.

Are many gay men married ?

Victor. Dear Victor- Most gay men have either been married or have at least got kids and often the older gay men are Grandfathers. It's not uncommon. I have heard stories like yours - honestly - hundreds and hundreds of times over the years and some have happy endings while others do not. DO NOT desert your wife, stay friends, stay in contact, stay respectful, do not talk about gay sex and rub her nose in it - offer help and advise as you would any friend, and stay nice for each other.

It goes a long way - believe me.

If you want to be a nasty vile human being, and believe me I have met TONS of vile horrible straight men coming out as gay and I am ashamed of them - be nice.



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