By Willian J.
I was raised on a great estate - ruled over by my parents with a firm hand. I have to say that neither of them were farmers and relied 100% on land managers / farm managers and farm hands doing all the work and largely, instructing how things were to be done and when as my parents didn't have a clue, but demanded respect and attention while not really earning or deserving any.
The estate was passed down through the family as my Great Great something was awarded the land by the crown of the day and handed down through the generations, but as the generations lived and died, so largely did the inheritance that went with the responsibility of playing host to an estate whose modern generation do not want to run - as we have other plans.
My older brother - he was raised understanding his role was to take over and manage even though he is more interested in computers and was a big something in the City before Father died and he had to step into the breach.
I was always considered the SPARE - in case anything happened to the older son, there was another in case - and I was raised knowing this and never resenting my brother, although he did resent me, as I was not expected to do anything but what I wanted in life - while he was tied to the family estate.
When I read how Prince Harry was considered the spare, it just made me laugh as how foolish is this man, how pathetic is he - as this is nothing new - this has been happening to families, rich and poor, for centuries. Big families were common a century ago because there was so much death in infancy and besides there was no birth control - and big families were safe in case something took the children when young and the parents would not be left fending for themselves in old age.
My parents tried for a daughter after me and the youngest child was always hoped would be a girl so she would stay at home - un married - and take care of said parents into their old age and it seemed, throughout UK history with these gentrified landed families, that the oldest son ran the estate, the next became the local MP, the next the local vicar and the last - hopefully being the girl - would look after the parents, and your life was drawn out for you from childhood.
Mother had several miscarriages and the girl child never materialised and it came down to us two boys, and being gay, I made it quite clear quite early on I was going to live my own life and not be tied to the family. That did not go down well at all and caused much resentment and anger from my brother who felt trapped in his role and trapped into being something he did not want.
Not my problem.
So some years ago I offered to share the responsibility with him where we would each have a part in running the estate and each have a home on the estate, as there are over 45 homes and almost a whole village owned and watched over by 'the estate' - ( I hate to say - by my family - as that sounds arrogant ) and while many are small ancient cottages, others are rambling 3 - 8 bedroom houses - so it is no big deal for us to choose a house each and work together where we can.
Brother didn't like that very much and as the alternative was that he ran the estate on his own and I travel the world and have fun - he rescinded - angrily at first - but saw the wisdom in my offer and we now work really well together. It offers us both time to run our own business's and have a private life outside of the estate - as just about everyone in the village know who we are and it is hard to ' vanish ' and believe me, you need to be able to vanish at times and do your own thing without everyone knowing and judging.
It turns out that I am a better land manager than my bro and I have taken more control and responsibility from him and over the years, it has worked well for us both - but we work as a team and discuss what needs sharing and what is my responsibility and what is his and as for being the spare, GROW UP HARRY - You are acting like some petulant child.
My brother married a girl from Africa and she is black,. Caused a bit of a stir with parents at the time and Dad died still disapproving. It was quite common to hear people asking what colour they thought the children would be and this was never considered racisms at all, just a random and honest question. As it happened, while SIL is black and my brother is fair - both children were born fair skinned and blond haired and nothing like their Mother at all... and that is not racism wondering who they will take after, it is just a common question and Harry is making trouble by stating otherwise. It's a question everyone was asking - even my brother - and when Harry accuses his family of racism because of asking the same thing, then all he is doing is causing trouble and being a spoiled brat - as HE is now the racist for even bringing it up - expecting special treatment while being part of a mega rich family and where he will never need to do anything - except it seems - to moan all the time about his lot in life.
Maybe he needs to move into a 10th floor council flat and live on social security payouts and see how he copes with it...
Our estate is doing well and as for being the spare, I proved myself well and truly more worthy than just being 'the spare'. Harry needs to do the same without running to the media and Netflix to use his family connections to earn multi millions to - basically - slag the family off that has earned him the position he is in TO EARN those millions, and I personally find his actions so very sad and desperate and while I know and understand his plight, - to go public and to be so brazen appalls.
Nothing wrong with being the spare. Millions of people were born being ' the spare' so get over it Harry Boy or pay the monies back and go live in a council flat some place and shut up complaining.
So my advise to Harry, shut the fuck up and stop your bitching, resign and stop using the family name and the position within the family you claim you do not want - to earn yourself millions as that - is appalling and looses you any respect the people have once held for you. Gone.
Thanks for this William. As discussed, it never fails to amaze how some turn against the hand that feeds them. Prince Charles - now King Charles WAITED OVER 70 YEARS TO TAKE THE JOB HE WAS TRAINED FOR - and he hated it and he complained and he threw tantrums and it got him nowhere.
He is what he is and as stated, if he wants out, then leave and leave all the trappings behind you.